**Warning**: This is not an Episode of Doozer Television... I repeat... This is not an Episode of Doozer Television... This is what you call an "Old School" Roleplay... This Roleplay and the following one or two will be Doozer's Old School Roleplays!!! Cast For This Old School Roleplay: ("The Next Episode" by Dr. Dre blasts over DWF's P.A. System and video clips of Doozer, Canada's Hero, and Pat Walsh winning the Stables Titles are flashed on and off the DWF-tron. Then, Doozer casually walks onto the ramp from the backstage area and the crowd erupts with mixed reactions. Doozer is wearing a Toronto Blue Jays official Baseball Hat on backwards and a black T-shirt labeled, "The Canadian Clan." After performing a little "Raise The Roof" taunt, Doozer smoothly walks down the metal ramp and to the ring. As he steps into the ring, "Red Sox Rule" doesn't appear on the mat, instead "Canadians Kick Ass" shows up in blue print on the white mat. Doozer slowly walks to the center of the ring and does the "Raise The Roof" taunt once more as blue firewords blast from every turnbuckle. The crowd once again reacts with mixed emotions and the camera zooms in on one fan with a "Doozer Turned on the US" banner and another fan with a good old fashioned "Doozer Sucks." The camera turns back to Doozer who is leaning against a turnbuckle back-first with a microphone in his right hand and is slowly being raised to his mouth.) Doozer: Well... I haven't done this in a while... but I think it goes a little something like this... DOOZER IS IN THE HOOOOOUUUUUUUUSSSSSSEEEEEE!!! Yeah, that's right... I am The Innovation of Devastion, The Master of Disaster, The King of Kablam, The Sultan of Slam, The Dictator of the DTV Special, The Potentate of Piledrivers, The Titan of Tag Teams, The Tyrant of Talking Trash, The Rajah of Rapping, The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The Perfectly Great... THE DOOZE!!! (The camera takes a look around at the stands and mostly all of the fans are on their feet cheering. You can see an "Innovation of Devastation" poster, one that says "The Perfectly Great" and another labeled "Rip Another Rhyme!!!" Then, the camera switches back over to Doozer who is still leaning up against the same turnbuckle.) Doozer: Now, I know a lot of you don’t really like me much anymore… but really, I don’t care that much. Now, I have so many damn Canadian fans that it would take those stupid ass vote counters from Florida years to count exactly how many. And, none of you really want to say it, but I know most of you are still fans of mine. I mean, you know you can’t get mad at The Dooze… (With this, some fans start to boo, while others cheer in agreement with Doozer’s statement. The camera then focuses back on Doozer, after scanning the crowd once more for any other posters, who is climbing the turnbuckle and sits on the top of it.) Doozer: But anyway, I have another match coming up this Sunday on Slaughter. It is myself, Canada’s Hero, Mike Robinson, and Pat Walsh defending our Stable’s Title versus none other but my old stable… Extreme Cruelty. Well, I helped make that stable, and I sure as hell can break it. Extremist, I don’t hate you, but ever since I gave you that Novice Title and you started to improve, I have wanted to get in the ring with you and kick your sissy ass… Kinch, you and I both know that you don’t stand a chance against somebody of my skill level… and whoever Sirius Blake is… Hell, I am not even going to waste words out of my mouth on you. Well, maybe a few… I’m gonna Dooze You, then Abuse You!!! (The whole crowd erupts with cheers as one of Doozer’s most famous catchphrases is heard over the P.A. System…) Doozer: Well, that’s all I have to say about that match… but, I’m not going to leave until I rip a couple of rhymes… The name of this Rhyme is… The Canadian Clan… Oh, and I got one for Dusty too because you all know he’ll be hanging with the Canadians before soon…
Doozer
In any kind of dance
With this Bad Ass
Who wears black pants
You know why?
Cause he’ll tear you down
To the ground
Like a frown
On a clown
It’s the truth
Nobody can take him
Not even a mob
You damn right
I’m rapping about my main man
Mikey Rob!!!
Well, this man is huge
Oh he is big
He inhales Twinkies
Like a fat-ass pig
He also makes funnies
And he has a thing for bunnies
But don’t get me wrong
He’ll beat you down until dawn
And until your blood turns crusty
Hell yeah, this fatty is named Dusty!!!
This guy will beat you down
To the ground
From the bottom
To the top
To him you are just a pimple
That he’s about to pop
And then we’re gonna kill you
Via drive-by in his BMW
Because you just don’t mess
With a mofo named Y2W!!!
This man is one bad mother
And if you call him a shmo
He’ll slap you silly
Like a dirty little ho
You’ll be on the ground
Hurting high and low
You should know his name already
He’s Canada’s Hero!!!
When I come around
The people start to panic
Man, f*ck what you heard
I brought down the Titanic
But I don’t got fans
Just a bunch called "fanatic"
Oh and you only gots to remember one thing
Me you just can’t stop
For I am stronger than Tyson
Smarter than Spock
And I ain’t no loser
I am the man
Who goes by Doozer!!!
We are The Canadian Clan
We are stronger than
Any group
Of more than one man
And we will and can
Bury you Six Feet Deep
In some heavy ass sand.
(The camera slowly scans the whole arena only to see all the fans on their feet cheering Doozer and his rhymes. It catches and focuses in on a fan of Doozer’s wearing a "Canadian Clan" T-shirt while standing up and yelling at the top of his lungs. The camera also zooms in on a group of six men in one horizontal line with their shirts lifted up and on the stomach and chest of the first one is the letter "D" in blue print, the second man has an "O" in red print, the third also had an "O" in red print, the fourth has a "Z" in black, the fifth man has a big "E" on his chest and stomach area in brown, and the last and sixth man has an "R" green. The camera then turns back to Doozer, who is still sitting on the top turnbuckle in the upper left hand corner.) Doozer: Well, I think I’ve said enough… So, to all you cool cat Canadians out there… Keep Cool and Keep Kicking Ass… ‘Cause winning might not be everything… BUT LOSING SUCKS ASS!!! (The camera focuses on Johnny D and Pat Riot sitting behind the black announce table. Johnny D is wearing a Yankees baseball cap as well as a "Blame Canada" T-shirt and Pat Riot with his black hair is wearing a little black fleece jacket.) Johnny D: What a loser. As Doozer himself would say… Oh he puts a "Z" in his name, he’s bad now. Pat Riot: Johnny, I think you better shut up before Doozer comes over here and kicks your ass. Johnny D: Well, he actually thinks that The Canadian Clan can defeat a group like Extreme Cruelty. If you ask me, Doozer has a better chance at winning a beauty pageant. Pat Riot: He did get the pin on DWF Hall of Famer, Jack ‘The Poser’ Harding at Bashed in the USA to win those Stables Titles. I don’t think anything can stop this group after that. Johnny D: Well, I know for a fact that if any stable can do it, it is the stable of Extremist, Hardcore Kinch, Sirius Blake, and whoever else is going to fight with them. Pat Riot: Alright then, that’s all from us… Keep F’n… Keep Wrestlin’… and Keep D-W-F’n. ("The Next Episode" by Dr. Dre blasts over the P.A. System and Doozer’s entrance video shows over the DWF-tron once again as the camera shows Doozer taunting to the ground as he makes his way to the backstage area leaving a sold out crowd on their feet, some booing and some cheering… The scene slowly cuts to…)