Doozer: Alright fans, your awful days of no Doozer Television are still among us. But, I decided to cut a promo nonetheless. This is a special promo.

(The camera switches over to The Dude. The Dude is just sitting down looking at his normal sized hands. He has the fingers kind of hooked together as you would if you were twiddling your thumbs. That is exactly what our stupid friend is doing. His two thumbs are just moving as fast as they can twirling around each other. Doozer reaches across the table and slaps The Dude right over his head. The Dude’s head raises faster than a cat can run with turpentine up its ass. Doozer then does a little motion, nodding his head towards the direction of the camera, which Dude actually understands. In response, he turns to the camera and tries to say something that would make sense, even though he doesn’t know what Doozer just said…)

The Dude: Yeah, it involves me…

Doozer: Yes, unfortunately it does… But anyway, The Dude being involved in this is actually the special part. Yes, for all you Dudacious Fans of The Dude, I am putting on a special interview on him.

The Dude: Yeah, cause I am all like… ‘Cause of that… Stuff…

Doozer: Dude, do yourself a favor and shut up… Well, I guess we can get this puppy started… So, Dude, you have a lot of fans… Well, my fans are your fans so that is more than a lot. And I know those fans of mine that like you want to know more about you. If they don’t want to know more about you, then they don’t know about what they don’t know.

The Dude: You really had my full attention until you hit the spot about not knowing stuff that you don’t know…

Doozer: Just shut up and act like you know about them not knowing about what they don’t know about you… Got it?

The Dude: *while shaking his head to the left and to the right* Yessssss… *winks at Doozer in that "I just did what you told me to do when I really wouldn’t have done it" way.*

Doozer: Yeah whatever… Anyway, here’s the first question… Dude, what is your name?

The Dude: First or last?

Doozer: *with a look of "God you’re retarded* on his face* Both of them…

The Dude: *trying to act like he is smart* Well, you tell me Mr. Smarty Pants.

Doozer: You don’t even know your first and last name.

The Dude: *while nodding his head up and down* No…

Doozer: Come on… Think as hard as you can.

The Dude: But that makes my head hurt…

Doozer: *looking rather angry* Alright fine, we’ll go to the next question already… When did you start your wrestling career and where did you start it?

The Dude: *with a look of disbelief* Doozer, you know that answer, you were there dumb-dumb head.

Doozer:*shaking his head* I’m not asking for my knowledge, moron. I’m asking for your fans.

The Dude: Oh, well… See, I… Dooze… A little help here?

Doozer: Come on, Dude… Stop acting like you are retarded.

The Dude: *with a rather serious look now* Alright, I started off wrestling in a federation called the WWFF. In this federation, in which Doozer and myself were employed, every person had to choose the gimmick of a WWF, WCW, or ECW wrestler and mimic them. See, this federation was for beginner wrestlers who didn’t have a gimmick of their own, so we just took ones from the Professionals. Well, I chose the gimmick of Dude Love and Doozer here chose Chris Jericho. This was right around… Oh I don’t know, a couple of years ago maybe… Anyway, myself and Doozer tagged to become "The Dudacious Duo." As a team, I don’t think we had any matches at first, but I won the Hardcore Title once and Doozer, or Chris Jericho, won the Lightweight. There we joined forces to bring the WWFF fans an awesome promo that we called "The Love Shack." Here, we made fun of our rivals... One of them included a wrestler named Christian who was being played by, believe it or not... Dusty!!! But, WWFF soon closed after we were turned on by our stablemates.

(The thought of that match causes both Doozer and The Dude to hang their heads in dismay. See, in that match, The Dude or Dude Love teamed with Doozer, a.k.a Chris Jericho, to face Dusty or Christian and his tag partner Edge, who don't know who played him. Well, the Wolfpac was down with Chris Jericho and Dude Love, The Dudaciuos Duo, until Doozer, Chris Jericho, hit Torrie in defense of his girlfriend, The Kat... After a couple minutes of sheer silence, Doozer raises his head and The Dude does the same. Doozer holds the microphone back up to his mouth rather slowly and begins to speak again...)

Doozer: Well, I'm sure the fans would also like to know just exactly how you came up with the name "The Dude" and what your finisher was...

The Dude: *facing the camera again* Well, Doozer and I traveled over to the uTw after WWFF closed down. Here, we saw that we would need our own gimmicks. Doozer, came up with his very easily since "Doozer" was his nickname since he was two years old. But, I was having some trouble. My only nickname was Kevinator and I thought that name was rather gay. So, after we both thought long and hard, we came to the desicion since I was so good at playing Dude Love, that I should adopt part of his name just for memory sake and henceforth... The Dude!!! My finisher was The Swanton Bomb since I had mastered the move and I came to name it "The Dudacious Dive."

Doozer: Wow, that was just awesome... Dusty followed us to that federation also, didn't he?

The Dude: Yes, not only did "Doozer" and "The Dude" start up their careers in uTw, Ultimate Technical Wrestling, "Dusty" did the same.

Doozer: Yes, that is also were I had a debut match that is still one of my best ever in my mind. Not only did I eliminate all four members of the other stable in this match, but I even eliminated one member of my own stable because he wanted to get the pin on of the our opponents.

The Dude: Yeah, but that's also were your hatred for all forms of authority began...

Doozer: Yeah, if it weren't for Ultimate Technical Wrestling, Doozer just wouldn't be the Doozer he is today.

The Dude:... I am hating uTw more than ever right now!!!

(With that last comment, Doozer’s face turns from a friendly smile to a mean grimace. He stares down The Dude for just a couple seconds, but then The Dude suddenly bursts out laughing. The Dude is laughing so hard he is bending forward with his head on the table and starts pounding the table with his fist. Then, Doozer figures out that The Dude was just joking around, so he too joins in on the laughing. After each of them get out a good chuckle, they resume their posture that they held before the joke and Doozer starts to speak again.)

Doozer: Well, Dude, I got to say that since we did "The Love Shack" I have not been able to go a day without wanting to relive the excitement of it. How we used to get people to dress up like the wrestlers we wanted them to impersonate. How you would change their names to something similar to their name, but making fun of them at the same time. How we would humiliate the impersonators as a way to inadvertently humiliate our rivals or opponents.

The Dude: I understand you completely, Doozer…

Doozer: So, what do you say we go out and show these DWF Fans what an Old School Promo looks like. I mean, this is as Old School as I can possibly get other than just cutting a little promo down in the ring. You on for the challenge?

The Dude: Actually, for the first time in my life, I am one step ahead of you… I have already grabbed four different people to impersonate four DWF Wrestlers of our choice.

Doozer: Great, let’s get down to the ring during DWF’s Commercial Break, set up all our stuff and relive "The Love Shack."

(Doozer and The Dude suddenly jump up from their seats in total excitement and rush out of the small room with smiles on their faces. They hurry over to what is called "The Gorilla Position", which is the area that is right behind the curtain. Doozer peeks through the curtains and checks out what is going on inside the ring. To his surprise, the DWF is at a commercial break because he can see some of the stage crew people setting up the steel stairs at opposite corners of each other. So, without any hesitation, Doozer and The Dude rush down to the ring. The few people that are in the crowd *this is a little house show* all get on their feet and yell and scream at the top of their lungs in support of Doozer and The Dude. Doozer walks up to two stage crew guys, the first is a broad shouldered, blonde haired, six foot and six inch, muscle man. The second man is a bit scrawny compared to the first and has black hair. Both men are wearing the exact same clothes, a tight black T-shirt and Levi Jeans. Doozer wastes no time and starts to tell them exactly what he and The Dude will need for "The Love Shack.")

Doozer: Alright guys, we need two air-cushioned, pink seats with hearts all over them. We also need four regular, steel chairs… with padded seats for the guests’ comfort. And… if you could set up some pyrotechnic stuff to blast out pink fireworks, that’d be great… Oh, if you could also go and tell the music people to get that "Love Shack" song ready, that’d be great…

Stage Crew Guys in Unison: Anything for The Dooze…

(Doozer’s personal cameraman walks off backstage to take a short break since DWF’s cameramen will be ready to tape "The Love Shack." The DWF’s Cameras are cut off for only a couple more minutes before they switch on to reveal Doozer and The Dude inside the ring. Both of them are sitting down in air-cushioned, pink seats with hearts all over them just as Doozer had asked. In front of Doozer and The Dude, four chairs with black padded seats are standing up. Suddenly, "Love Shack" is blasted over DWF’s P.A. System. At the same time, pink fireworks blast out of each turnbuckle. Doozer and The Dude both stand up and out of their chairs. Doozer gives the "kill" sign and Dude Love’s music stops playing. The Dude then grabs a microphone from the ring announcer who is sitting ringside and he begins to speak.)

The Dude: Welcome to the LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEE SHACK!!! I am The Dude along with my good buddy Doozer and we are your hosts for the most intense promo you will ever see!!! Not only do we make people mock real wrestlers here in DWF, but we make fun of those people!!!

Doozer: Yeah, and we have fun doing it… Cause I am The Innovation of Devastation…

The Dude: And I’m the Proclamation of Constipation!!!

Doozer and The Dude In Unison: We are THE DUDACIOUS DUO!!!

The Dude: Now, contestant number one… come on down… You are the first contestant on The Price is Right!!!

Doozer: No, Dude, that’s not our show…

The Dude: Sorry, I just kind of got caught up in the moment there… You are the first contestant on "The Love Shack!!!"

(Suddenly, a man who the camera identifies as Dusty makes his way down to the ring dressed up as none other than Cro himself walks down to the ring… Actually, we think Dusty is supposed to be impersonating Cro because he is dressed up in a bird costume and is flapping his arms while jumping as he makes his way down to the ring… Eventually, Dusty… or Cro steps up the black, steel steps and climbs to the top turnbuckle. As he jumps off, he flaps his arms or wings if you will and lands with a large "thud" on the mat. After stumbling a couple of steps, the Cro impersonator makes his way to a seat and sits down casually as if he didn’t just make a moron of himself…)

The Dude: Cro… we all know that you aren’t showing your true colors… I mean, feathers. See, call me retarded, but I know you were born to a three legged bitch of a mom and… Wait, that was from the Movie "Half Baked" and that was about a dog… Well, I know that you aren’t really a Cro now are you. You were ashamed of what you were, so you posed as a Cro. But, there is no reason to be ashamed of yourself… So, show us your true feathers…

(Cro’s Impersonator, Dusty, slowly stands up from his seat. He makes it seem as though he isn’t exactly sure that he wants to show what is underneath the black feathered costume. But, after getting some pretty harsh glares from both Doozer and The Dude, he unzips his costume of a black crow and takes it off. This reveals… THE COSTUME OF A TWEETY BIRD. After both Doozer and The Dude, as well as the crowd, get out a good laugh while Dusty frolics around the ring flapping his wings and jumping up and down as if to make it seem like he was flying, he sits back down with a reddened face.)

Doozer: Dude, you knew it all along.

The Dude: Of course I knew… It doesn’t take an IQ of Ten to know that Cro was a bird of a different color…

Doozer: Dude, try to stop taking lines from others movies… Especially "The Wizard of Oz" man…

The Dude: My bad, my bad… Well Cro… or maybe I should call you Tweety… I think I’m done with you… You may leave, but remember that you should never be ashamed of your three legged bitch of a mom… Damn it, I did it again. I have watched that movie just one too many times.

Doozer: That is very, very true. But, it’s a sweet movie so I won’t get mad at you… Well, whoever our next contestant is… Come on down home-boy!!!

(Cro’s Impersonator decides to keep his sitting position on his seat. Then, someone slowly emerges from behind the curtains. We don’t know who it is, but it looks most like… like… Canada’s Hero. He is dressed up in a regular T-shirt and Jeans… But, the T-shirt is labeled "LSD." He casually walks down the steel ramp, up the black, steel steps, and into the ring were he sits in his padded seat next to Cro, who is still in his yellow tweety bird costume, being impersonated by Dusty. At the sight of the three letters "L" "S" and "D", Doozer shudders for a second remembering his match against him the first time he joined the Dream Wrestling Federation…)

The Dude: I see, here we have LSD.

LSD’s Impersonator: Lawrence Damien Smith…

The Dude: Oh just shut up, Lying Sack of Dung.

Doozer: Big pops for Dude on that one, Lying Sack of Dung… LSD, I couldn’t have done better myself…

The Dude: So, Lying Sack of Dung, you remember what you did for a promo to beat Doozer and defend your Novice Title way back in the old DWF don’t you?

Fake LSD: … Yes, I do remember how… I took Doozer’s promo and taped it, then I just changed it around so that when the fans cheered during the real promo, I made them boo and stuff like that.

The Dude: Yes, you humiliated Doozer and that’s why you are a contestant on "The Love Shack." So, may our fans here give this Lying Sack of Dung a warm welcome, like he made the fans give Doozer…

(Every single fan in the DWF Arena get on their feet and start booing as loudly as possible. The camera scans the crowd to see a white sign labeled, "LSD Sucks." Then, some objects are starting to be thrown at the Fake LSD such as Budweiser beer cans and some cabbage as well as popcorn cups, tomatoes, hotdogs, turnip, potatoes, and even rats. Then, the camera quickly switches back to "The Love Shack" where Doozer and The Dude are still standing up, but pacing back and forth from one side of the ring to the other while The Fake Cro and The Fake LSD stay seated…)

The Dude: Well… I think we’ve done enough… No, one more thing… Lying Sack of Dung, stand up!

(The Fake LSD stands up looking like he doesn’t have a clue what is about to happen to him. Then, The Dude walks up to Doozer and whispers something in his ear. As The Dude seems to be done his whispering, a grimace forms on Doozer’s face and he slowly nods his head looking at LSD with an evil eye. Doozer then walks up to the Fake LSD and puts his hand out… After a few long seconds of hesitation and thinking it over, the Fake LSD puts his hand in Doozer’s and they shake. But, it only takes a second after that and Doozer kicks the Fake LSD right in the… genitals. As LSD is doubled over, Doozer jumps into the air and delivers THE DTV SPECIAL!!! It is a double leg under-hook face-plant. The double leg under-hook simply means Doozer under-hooked LSD’s arms with his legs and the face-plant part was Doozer putting his ass over LSD’s head and just letting LSD fall down face-first with Doozer’s ass and weight ramming his head into the mat. Doozer quickly gets up and he and The Dude slap hands while laughing hysterically. Dusty, or the Fake Cro, jumps up out of his seat and puts his hand high into the air looking for a high-five… but Doozer and The Dude look the other way in that "I don’t know him" kind of way. Dusty then frowns and sadly sits back in his seat.)

The Dude: Alright, the next contestant in "The Love Shack" will be none other than…

(Suddenly, a character who resembles The Angry Dwarf comes out from behind the curtains… But he is wearing a tight T-shirt, which is even tighter since it looks like he has a pillow stationed under it making it appear like he has a large stomach. He is also wearing boxers… just boxers and you can’t see The Angry Dwarf’s usual black hair, because it is being covered up by a pair of white underwear. Labeled on the black T-shirt is the name… "Dusty!!!" The Angry Dwarf eventually makes his way down to the ring, walks up the steps and slides under the bottom rope into the ring. There, he sits beside the seat where The Fake LSD was sitting, two seats away from The Real Dusty, or the Fake Cro. Dusty, who had his head lowered while trying to hold back tears from being rejected from Doozer and The Dude, is just raising his head and he turns to see The Angry Dwarf. Dusty first sees the really huge gut for such a little man and he sees how retarded the little guy actually looks… Then, Dusty spots the name "Dusty" on the Dwarf’s T-shirt. He looks up at Doozer and The Dude in that "How could you?" look.)

The Dude: Now, Dusty isn’t down here today because Doozer and I dislike him in anyway. No, not at all. Actually, he is in The Canadian Clan!!! But, he is just too easy to make fun of. Also, when Dusty played "Christian" back in WWFF, he was a contestant in the First "Love Shack" ever!!! So, I chose The Angry Dwarf to reenact the very thing that we did… By the way, The Angry Dwarf doesn’t know how to speak real well, so if you’re wondering how he knows these words, it is because I taught him how to say them…

Doozer: Alright, now… this is the very same scene from the first ever… "Love Shack…"

The Dude: Catholic… Damn, I should change that since he isn’t Christian… Crusty-Butt… Why do you have to be so gay?

The Fake Dusty: *in a gay lisp* Hmph, Dude, why you gotta be like that? *crosses his legs*

The Dude: … That was pretty much it… If you were expecting something more than… Bite me!!!

Doozer: Damn, fans, I’m sorry but that’s all the time we got. The next match for this house show is starting in just a minute or two… We gotta go, but before than, I’m just going to get in a few words about my match… Now, it looks like The Canadian Clan has to face its toughest challenge yet… We are facing a no name stable led by the undefeated Mike Extreme. Well, he beat my once, but that was just a fluke. This Sunday, Mike Extreme will know exactly what the word "Extreme" means and I’m gonna show him Doozer Style… This type of style includes two steps… they are… First, I’m gonna Dooze You, then Abuse You!!! For the rest of those no named pieces of dog shit they can just find other jobs because you’re gonna need them… I hear there is an opening at The Fudge Factory. Yeah, they’re looking for some fudge packers, I’m sure you guys could make great fudge packers. *crowd erupts with laughs* Well, this is Doozer and The Dude and we’re signing off… Keep Cool and Keep Kicking Ass!!!

(The scene fades from Doozer, The Dude, Dusty{The Fake Cro}, Canada's Hero {The Fake LSD} and The Angry Dwarf {The Fake Dusty}. Doozer and The Dude are chatting about something, but the sound has been turned off so unfortunately, we can't hear. But, we do see The Angry Dwarf chasing Dusty around the ring... Dusty drops out of pure exhaustion... OH NO, THE ANKLE BITER!!! Screen fades...)