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Journal Entry #2 in "Doozer's Journal!!!" |
**Warning**: I have Dazz's Permission to use Dazz in this Journal Entry!!! I have Bob's Permission to use Bob and The Angry Dwarf in this Journal Entry!!! I have Jack Harding's Permission to use Jack Harding in this Journal Entry!!! I have Dusty's Permission to use Dusty in this Journal Entry!!! Cast For Journal Entry(Their Name Will Be Their Color for this Entry): Dear Journal, {***}Unlike I had done in my last journal entry, today I will start of talking, or writing, or typing about what happened from the middle of the day and so forth. Anyway, it was Dazz, Bob, Jack 'The Poser' Harding and myself all hanging out in front of the local gym. The gym is nice, I mean, if you don't look at the outside. Its old, gray paint chipped away and the big sign in blue letters reading 'Gym' all covered with bird shit made it look pretty bad. Almost like a gym for rookies who hadn’t any money for a good gym, rather than a gym that four superstars were going to use. The sidewalk to and from the gym, infested with potholes, needed some big time work. There was trash all over the place and where there was just a little piece of grass… Well, the grass was dead. Anyway, there we were, three DWF Legends and a future DWF Legend. {***} {***}Yet, the four of us were standing there, fairly humiliated for having our popular status and standing in front of such a run-down gym. I was wearing my black T-shirt labeled "Born Buff" in silver lettering across the chest and a pair of loose fit baggy jeans. Oh and my official Red Sox hat that sat around the top of my head in a backwards position. To my left stood Bob, who was wearing a white T-shirt with big blue letters running across the chest that read ‘I’m with Bob’ and an arrow pointing upwards towards his head. To Bob’s left stood Dazz who wore a black boiler suit labeled ‘Dead Man Walking.’ Lastly, to Dazz’s left stood Jack ‘The Poser’ Harding who wore a white T-shirt labeled ‘Posing Isn’t Easy Either.’ He also wore a pair of baggy, carpenter jeans. {***} {***}Minutes slowly passed like a snail inching its way along. I stood looking gloomy with my hands in each pocket. Dazz stood with his hands rubbing each one of his eyes. Jack ‘The Poser’ Harding stood lazily with his right hand scratching his head. See, Bob was just leaning up against the front wall of the gym. He saw each of us had our hands preoccupied, so he thought for a moment. Then, he raised the pointer finger of his right hand and slowly, but surely placed it directly in his right nostril. Now, journal, I know you are thinking, "What kind of idiots are just standing around in front of a gym instead of training?" Well, I don’t know so screw you!!! Anyway, Bob also saw each of the looks on our faces, so he immediately sprang into action and prepared to break the ice. {***} :-=Bob=-: Bob spotted both of my hands in each pocket, so he proceeded on with a smart ass comment. "Hey, Doozer, which side is winning over there?" :-=Doozer=-: Now, I knew what this joke was all about. The others were laughing and I too had a smile on my face because the best way to avoid getting laughed at is laughing with. "Neither right now, Bob, but the right hand is going for the eight ball, corner pocket." I laughed myself as every one else got a good chuckle. **Note: If you don’t get the joke, I’ll explain. See, Bob asked me which side was winning, implying that I was playing with myself. So, I just came back by saying eight-ball, corner pocket, meaning that I was playing pocket pool. I just thought that I should clear that up for some ‘slow’ people. ** :-=Jack ‘The Poser’ Harding=-: Jack had a confused look on his face, then asked. "Okay, the gym is obviously closed. So, why the hell are we still standing around here doing nothing? I mean, Doozer, the minutes until your Dream Title match are ticking away…" I don’t like being ridiculed or told what to do, but he had point. :-=Doozer=-: Like I said, I don’t like being told what to do, but he was Dream Champ himself. "Okay, where are we going to go?" :-=Jack ‘The Poser’ Harding=-: Jack began to grow that serious look on his face. "First, we go to the local convenience store. Second, there is no second. We are just going to stay at the store and train there." :-=Doozer=-: I didn’t have a clue about what he was going to do, but I humored him. "All right, Jack Mehoff, to the bat mobile!" I looked around and then remembered that we all walked. "Okay, I’ll call a taxi." :-=Dazz=-: Dazz walked up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder and then spoke. "Doozer, we shall walk young one." {***}Don’t even ask me what is up with Dazz because I don’t know. I guess dying and all that good stuff really changed him around. Anyway, I started to argue my way out of walking, but then I spotted the convenience store. Yeah, it was only thirty feet away. Man, I really made a retard out of myself. So, the four of us all ventured off on our great thirty foot hike to the ‘Irving’ convenience store. We walked and walked for what seemed to be… Um… Really long minutes. We trekked up a small hill on the side of a worn down road and kept trekking until we couldn’t trek anymore. Well, we could have trekked some more since it was only thirty feet, but let’s not get too technical. {***} {***}Finally, we had made it to the convenience store. It was just like any other convenience stores. The gas pumps were out in front, the store was rather large, and there was an outhouse almost at the very end of the right side of the store. Jack Harding rejoiced with his accomplishment of making his way to the convenience store without having to stop to catch his breath. So, to humor him, I decided to join in on the rejoicing. Jack and I slapped hands and jumped up and down for a while. Then, Bob tapped me on my back. I turned to him with a confused look on my face, then he just pointed to his left towards an old couple staring at Jack and me. With that, I brushed my self off, twisted my head to crack my neck, and continued with the other three to walk into the convenience store. {***} {***}The inside of the convenience store was pretty nice. Everything sat neatly stacked on a shelf or hung up on a wall. The floor, tiled with white marble, went together well with ceiling and walls freshly painted white, too. Jack walked up to me and pointed out a little bench in the middle the corner of the store. So, I slowly walked to it and sat down. It was just a small, wooden bench for two people with a table top standing in front of it. Bob and Dazz took two chairs from a nearby table, placed them next to where I sat down, and both of them plopped down in their orange colored, plastic chairs. {***} {***} I saw Jack Harding bring an armload of something up to the counter, but I didn’t really recognize them. He unloaded them in front of the short, pudgy cashier. The cashier seemed dwarfed and intimidated by Jack but, with no hesitation, he added up the totals and Jack paid up. Shortly after the cashier placed each item into five huge bags, Jack brought them over to my table. He stopped in front of me and unloaded the bags until nothing came out. They were Twinkies; I’d say at least one hundred of them. Then, Jack spoke up. {***} :-=Jack ‘The Poser’ Harding=-: Jack looked very serious about this whole training thing. "Snooze, my friend, if you can devour these Twinkies, then you can win that Dream Title!" :-=Doozer=-: I wasn’t feeling too awfully eager to chow down on all those Twinkies, so I decided to stall. "How many Twinkies are there, to be exact?" Jack Harding Jack looked disappointed in my question. "It need not matter how many, but if thou Snooze can devour thy Twinkies." :-=Dazz=-: Dazz shook his head. "Dude, just tell him how many damn Twinkies there are in that huge pile." Jack Harding Jack started to open his mouth in that ‘It’s time to argue way.’ Just as he did, Dazz shot him a menacing glare. "One hundred and fifty to be exact." Jack then looked back at me. "Anyway, the normal human body does not allow itself to digest so many Twinkies in such a short period of time. A usual person would have to stop at around seventy or at most one hundred, or else one of those organs in his body would burst. So, if you can devour all one hundred and fifty of these, then you can do anything." He saw the unenthusiastic look on my face. "I dare you!" :-=Doozer=-: If anybody knows anything about me, that anybody would be Jack Mehoff. "Oh, now it’s on home-slice." {***}I cracked my neck once more, then stared deeply into the abyss of Twinkies. After I had stared long enough, they grew eyes and started to stare back. They started taunting me and calling me a ‘pussy.’ Then, they said, ‘Doozer, your mom is hot.' They followed that up with, 'Yeah, your dad is, too.’ With that, I burst like a bubble. I unleashed the fury on those Twinkies and in no time flat; I had devoured fifty. I wasn’t going to stop there either. I got up to seventy-five. At seventy-five, I felt my stomach start to churn as I unwrapped the next victim. I started to sway back and forth on the bench as I slowly brought it closer and closer to my mouth. I barely heard Jack say the words, ‘You are only halfway Snooze.’ Then, I held the Twinkie right in front of my face. {***} {***}After some minutes went by, which seemed to be hours of staring; the Twinkie started to speak to me. It talked about how I would not be able to eat him, just like I would not be able to defeat Caged Explosion and Big Shot at Wild Card Races. Well, if you know Doozer, then you know that I got royally pissed off. I shoved that Twinkie so far down my throat that I still awe over the fact that it did not come out my ass. I picked up the next Twinkie and said, ‘This one’s for my brother.’ With that said, I practically inhaled it. I went to the next Twinkie and inhaled that one also. The rest of the Twinkies, up to number one hundred and twenty just seemed to slide down my throat. Then, I picked up number one hundred and twenty one. I started to feel a little wheezy and just plain out of it. I shook my head a time or two, which actually made it worse. I unwrapped the Twinkie and stuffed it into my mouth without thinking. {***} {***}Yes, I had the Twinkie inside my mouth, but my mouth did not want it there. I forced myself to chew, but one thing I couldn’t do was force myself to swallow. I chewed and chewed, then I chewed some more. I chewed that damn Twinkie until it was just a big glob of mush in my mouth without any certain taste. Yet, I still could not swallow it. Jack Harding then got all up in my face. He said that I will never win Dream Title and that I should not even be in the Dream Wrestling Federation. Well, this just made me furious. I did not get mad at the Twinkies this time, but at Jack ‘The Poser’ Harding. So, I stuff the next five Twinkies in my mouth and chewed them with all my might. After some time full of chewing, I swallowed them all down while staring at Jack Harding in that ‘I just showed you’ kind of way. Even though I just seemed all big and buff, I became very ill from the five Twinkies at once. I swayed for a minute, then BOOM! My body just became limp causing my head to smash down on the remaining twenty-four Twinkies. {***} :-=Bob=-: Bob wore a look of false concern on his face. "Hey Doozer, you dead man?" :-=Dazz=-: Dazz, as well as Bob and Jack Harding, laughed for a minute or two. After the laughing settled, he too spoke. "Jack, I think you… uh… killed him." Dazz and the others laughed it up another time. After that session had settled down, Dazz spoke again. "No really, I think Doozer needs some medical attention or something." :-=Jack ‘The Poser’ Harding=-: Jack thought for a second, then said. "No, I think he will be just fine. All we have to do is give him some time to digest all those Twinkies." Jack looked into my pale blue eyes. "Sorry, Snooze, but you didn’t eat all of them. I guess you just aren’t Dream Champion material." :-=Doozer=-:That lit the little flame inside of me and I stood straight back up. "Screw you, dude. I’m going to eat the rest of these right here, right now." {***}Now, not only was I determined, but I got pissed off. I inhaled the next ten Twinkies like they were nothing. I was down to the final fourteen. No problem, about four of them got squished all to hell when I went semi-unconscious. So, there were really only ten more and I stuffed and swallowed each and every single one of them down like it was nobody’s business. After eating the last one, I jumped up and out of my seat. Then, I started to skip around the convenience store like a little school girl. Yeah, I just called myself a school girl. Do you have a problem with that Mr. Journal? I DIDN’T THINK SO, bitch. I just kept on skipping away and prancing and frolicking like Jennifer Lopez wanted to have sex with me. Some Twinkies, even though smudged all over my face, could not have brought me down. No, nothing could do so at that Kodak moment. {***} {***}At first, Bob, Jack, and Dazz did not even want to admit to anybody that they knew me. Yet, after realizing what I just accomplished to prove not only that I was Dream Champ material, but that I was also the manliest of all men, they joined in on the fun. Bob ran over to me and gave me a huge hug. Well, I felt a bit uncomfortable with the hug at first, but then it just made me feel all warm and accepted inside. Damn, that sounded corny. Then, I had stopped skipping around and Jack Harding held out his hand to me. I looked down at it, then back up to Jack’s face. He was smiling and nodding his head. So, without any other hesitating, I grabbed his hand with mine and we shook them. Then, I turned to Dazz. {***} {***}I held out my hands for a hug. I did not really know what to expect from Dazz, but I should have. He hit me square in the gut, I doubled over, and he gave me the friendliest noogie of my life. It was that ‘you did it’ kind of noogie. After we had finished with all our rejoicing and stuff like that, Jack bought beers for all four of us. We had no car, so we did not have to worry about who would drive home, so he bought a lot. We took the Miller beer over to a table for four. I sat down on the same side as Dazz and Jack and Bob sat on the opposite side of the table. We each took out a bottle and opened them up. As we drank down the beer, we started to talk. {***} :-=Jack ‘The Poser’ Harding=-: Jack looked straight at me. "Well, Doozer, I guess I should apologize." :-=Doozer=-: I shook my head in disappointment. "Oh, so you wait all this time and now you apologize? I mean, you could have just said that you were sorry for sticking that dildo in my mouth, taking pictures, and posting them all over the internet when you did that. Yet, you decide to wait." There was a pause when everyone just looked at me, then at Jack with screwed up faces. Then, I realized that Jack wasn’t talking about that. I tried to cover-up by laughing, but that didn’t do the trick. "Oh, am I a funny guy or what? Sometimes I just crack myself up!" {***}I started to laugh again, but I quickly stopped. I looked at Dazz, then Jack, and onto Bob. All three of them just stared back at me like I just came out of the closet or something. I nudged Dazz’s right army with my elbow gesturing to him that I just told a joke. The only reply from Dazz, well he just moved away from me an inch or two. I held out my arms in shear disbelief. I mean, it was not like I put the dildo in my mouth and took pictures that I later posted on the internet. Jack Harding was the man guilty of that crime. Yet, each of them just kept on staring holes in me. I just couldn’t stand it and I burst out. {***} :-=Doozer=-: I was desperate to get the spotlight off me. "Well, Dazz used to dress up like women!" I looked wide eyed at each of them who were still looking at me. "Well, it’s true. Yeah, and Bob has The Angry Dwarf. I bet that Dwarf isn’t so angry in bed is he Bob? You know what I’m talking about. I heard stuff about you and the Dwarf through the grapevine." Then, I moved in on Jack Harding. "Yeah, and with a name like Jack Mehoff, I mean… You just are gay with a name like Jack Mehoff." {***}Well, journal, that is all I feel like typing for the day. All in all, I had a fun time training with those Dream Wrestling Legends, but that day is done. Next time, I will probably be writing about being trained by Bob. See, shortly after Jack and Dazz walked away, Bob stayed back with me and told me that he wanted to train me. So, that’s all for today… {***}
Sincerely,
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