(The scene opens up at Doozer’s house with him just waking up. The Dude just got done his shower and is dressed. Doozer gets in the shower and dressed. He’s followed by Marshall Mathers, also known as Slim Shady, and Yojin Musahiri. Once they are all ready, the decide what they will do for the rest of the day.) Doozer: Man, what the hell should we do. I got a People’s Title match in about four days. I know we could go and train at that Sensei’s place, but not today. I just don’t know. I think we’ve ran out of things to do. Hey, let’s go to the mall. Ya know, sell some posters. Try to get people off donuts. Yeah, sounds good to me. The Dude: We were kicked out of the mall. Slim Shady: Hey, moron. There is more than one mall in this world. God, if you don’t get any smarter than I’m gonna kick your ass like I did last night, biatch. Yojin Musahiri: Well, I guess the mall is good. Cameraman: So, we’re going to the mall? Doozer: Could we? Yes, retard, we are going to the mall. We just spend five minutes saying that we should go to the mall and you are asking if we are. Why do people have to be stupid? The Dude: I’m not good at those kind of questions. Doozer: Ugh, let’s just go. (Doozer, The Dude, Yojin Musahiri, Slim Shady, and The Cameraman all get into the limo. The limo starts up and gets on its way to the mall.) Doozer: Hey, you guys got to wear these. Slim Shady: Suck my fu(censored)ing co(censored)!!! Doozer: What? Slim Shady: You know I’m just kidding. Hand me over one of those bitches. (Doozer hands out "DARE" T-Shirts to everyone. They are not any normal "DARE" T-Shirts though. They are Dare To Keep Cops off Donuts T-Shirts.) Doozer: now that we all have some, we can go kick some donut eating ass. Slim Shady: So, we get to beat people up? Yojin Musahiri: Damn right!!!
(The limo finally arrives at the mall. Doozer, The Dude, Slim Shady, Yojin Musahiri, and The Cameraman all unload from the limo and get into the mall. Doozer and Yojin go into the supply room to get a table. The Dude and Slim Shady go and get another table. They all get tables until they have a total of ten tables. It takes up most of the walking space. So, they are told to stack some of the tables on top of eachother. Four are at the base. Three are on top of that. Two more on top of that and one more at the very top. It’s a building of tables. Doozer drapes a large cloth over the front of all the tables that says, "DARE to keep Cops off Donuts. Donuts Abuse Resistance Education. Will you refuse having a donut, or do you want an ass kicking? Once all this is set up, Doozer gets to the top table with Slim Shady, Yojin, and The Dude at the bottom.) Yojin Musahiri: (spots someone eating a donut) Hey, Doozer it’s one of those fat bastard donut eaters right over there. Doozer: Go get him!!! (Yojin grabs the donut eater and brings him over to "The Building of DARE!!!") Doozer: So, fatty, you want the donut and an ass kicking? Or, you want to throw that donut down and go away scott-free. Hey, I wonder why they call it Scott-Free? My name is Scott. Anyways, it’s up to you my fat friend. (The fat guy tries to gobble down the donut quickly and run. Slim Shady runs after him and tackles the fat guy. Slim Shady is on top of him throwing punches wildly. Yojin comes over and pulls Slim Shady off the fat guy. They both bring the fat guy over to "The Building of DARE.") Doozer: Wrong choice fatty!!! (Doozer orders Slim Shady and The Dude to get another table. They go and eventually come back with another table. They set it up. Doozer stands on top of "The Building of DARE.") Doozer: What all you are about to see is a sacrifice. A sacrifice of a fat ass. (Slim Shady and The Dude set up the table and lay the fat guy on top of it. Doozer jumps off the top of "The Building of DARE" and does a flip, then he connects with a Legdrop from at least thirty feet up and performs his version of the Somersault Legdrop, Pesky Poll. Sending the fat guy through the table and to the hard floor with authority. Then, Doozer and Slim Shady go and get another table, while Yojin drags the man up "The Building of DARE." Doozer and Slim Shady come back with a table, set it up and set it on fire. Yojin takes the guy at the top of "The Building of DARE" and powerbombs him from thirty feet up down threw the table onto the hard floor. The man coughs up blood for a couple minutes then just stops breathing. He dies.) Doozer: Yojin, you just have to kill everyone don’t you? Well, we just made it one less donut eater in this world. Give me my mic. (The Dude hands Doozer a microphone and Doozer travels with it to the top of "The Building of DARE!!!") Doozer: The Dooze is in the malllllllllllllllll and he’s ready to RAISE some HELL and DO some DAMAGE!!! Now, as you can see I’ve already done some damage. See, this was a troubled man. I gave him the option to throw down the donut and go away safely. But, this fat ass was so badly addicted to donuts, that he tried to gobble it down and run away. Well, fat people aren’t really good runners. See, Slim Shady isn’t a runner, but he caught up with that fat bastard in no time flat. So, I’m telling all you donut eaters out there to just say no. Next time you go to eat another donut, just look at it really hard and say to yourself, "Whose stronger, me or you?" Then, hopefully, since you are the only one with muscles out of the two of you, you will come to the decision that you are the stronger one. Then, just simply throw the donut into the water. But, if you are not a good thrower, unlike me, who played shortstop for my baseball team. Then, simply put the donut on the ground and squash it. But, if you are too fat to lift up your damn leg that high, then go and give it to the trashcan. Trashcans love donuts. They really do. Well, just remember that I am watching you. I’m watching all of you!!! The Dude: (scurries up to where Doozer is standing) Yeah, and I can watch you too, huh. Like that? Hmmm, that’s what I thought. You just better watch your back’s. Wait…is that possible? (The Dude tries to look at his back and ends up swirling and twirling and twisting and turning until he finally falls off of it hitting hard on the floor thirty feet below.) Yojin Musahiri: Hey, are you alright? The Dude: Hughadubecoogoonakka alsiplimatapoopop. Tampensikalooke tanowakasula. Slim Shady: Yeah, he’s alright. Hey, I see a woman with a donut. I think it’s one of those fat free donuts. Doozer: Oh, they came out with those? Yojin Musahiri: Yeah, they did. Doozer: Are they any good? Slim Shady: We gettin a little of the topic now? What about that woman? Doozer: Yeah, what about her? Slim Shady: Fine, I’ll take the microphone and do this one. (grabs the mic) Hey, bitch come over here. Yeah, you ho. Get your hoochie momma ass over here. (The woman finally realizes that Slim Shady is talking to her. She walks over with the donut in her hand, then she sees "The Building of DARE" and tries to hide the donut.) Slim Shady: Come on, slut, you don’t have to hide it. Take that bitch out, light it, and say Slimmin ain’t EASY!!!!! Yeah, dogg. Woman: You want me to light the donut on fire? Slim Shady: Isn’t that what I just said? Yes, bitch, light the donut before I set you on fire. Yojin Musahiri: Wow, not too kind with the females. Woman: I don’t have a lighter. Slim Shady: Damn, you’re demanding. Good thing that I don’t go anywhere with out my little baby. (Slim Shady hands over his lighter reluctantly to the woman. The woman lights it on fire. Then throws it on the ground and stomps on it. Doozer: Well, lady, since you actually burnt your donut, you get this. (Doozer hands her his new poster.)
Doozer: Marshall, a little harsh, but you didn’t have to kill her. I’m impressed. Maybe you should learn how to teach people something without killing them, Yojin. Yojin Musahiri: Yeah, right. The Dude: Ughablookasungiwangu tumasiba takamichinoku isafaggot. Tangiwoooooopakinasoonatu lango teepeefermebungwhole(note: if you really sound out some of these words, you’ll find some funny stuff) Slim Shady: Uhh, there’s a bathroom with plenty of toilet paper. Who’s Taka Michinoku? Yojin Musahiri: Taka Michinoku is from China. He’s a lightweight wrestler. If I’m correct, I think he won the Lightweight Championship of the WWF. Doozer: Who gives a flying rat’s ass? I don’t. I just know that I’m gonna be the god damn People’s Champion weather A-Train likes it or not. Ohhh, he comes out there and says it’s not about talk and that I think I’m a bad ass cause I can cut long promos. Hmmmm, what have I done in the past month. I’ve gotten kicked out of Dunkin Donuts, twice. One time I had to beat the sh(censored) out of cops to get away. I broke into a jail to get The Dude and Slim Shady free. I beat the hell out of a lot of cops there too. I’ve gotten kicked out of one mall, and killed a person. Yojin, he’s killed six. We’ve broken every rule made up in the Movie Theaters. Hell, I shouldn’t have to say anymore. If that’s not good enough that A-Train, you can go suck on a big… Slim Shady: Fu(censored)ing co(censored)!!!! Doozer: A-Train, I know that you are a hell of a wrestler, but you are no match for The Dooze. I am the Innovation of Devastation, I am the man, the myth, the legend, the one, the only, The Dooze!!!! You are nothing, I am a magnificent masterpiece of a man. You are jack sh(censored). I am A Bad Ass in Black. You are The Little Train Who Can’t!!! I am the Big Train That Did. You are no match for me. I’m out of your league. Do I need to compare us anymore? I didn’t think so. Yojin Musahiri: You’ve certainly proved to me that you can kick A-Train’s ass. The only reason that he got a shot is because he was the number one contender. He’s not even worthy of being the number one contender for this belt. The Dude: Atranesoocksarse coosehimafoug.(note: yet more words that if you sound out they are funny) Slim Shady: Yeah, that’s right. He does and he is. Doozer: Hey, I’m done here. Let’s go to the arena. (After Doozer, The Dude, Yojin Musahiri, Slim Shady, and The Cameraman are done picking everything up. They all hop into the limo and get on their way to the arena.) Doozer: Well, we stopped two people from eating more donuts today. We killed one and well Slim inspired the other. I must say, for a first timer, you are pretty good at this. What can I say, I’m a natural. The Dude: I think I’m back to be conscious again. I can talk correctly. Doozer: Wait, Dude, are you alright? The Dude: No… I’m half left. Doozer: He’s good. Yojin Musahiri: We should all like go to the bar tonight after you cut your promo at the arena. Doozer: Yeah, I’m up for that. Maybe we can start another bar fight. Slim Shady: I feel like kicking some ass.
(The limo finally reaches the arena. Doozer heads off to the gorilla position. The Dude head off toward the restrooms. Yojin Musahiri heads off with Doozer. Slim Shady does too. The Cameraman just leaves because it is his break. Then, the lights go off. The color of red flickers about the arena as "HIGHWAY TO HELL" by Ac/Dc plays as Doozer makes his way down to the ring wearing an official Boston Red Sox Hat and a Nomar Garciaparra Jersey. Under that Jersey is a T-Shirt labeled "Born Buff!" As Doozer gets into the ring, the words "Red Sox Rule" and as he turns his hat into a backwards position, red fireworks blast out from every turnbuckle.) Doozer: The Dooze is in the houuuuuuuuuuuse and he’s ready to DO some DAMAGE!!! That’s right, you’re lookin at The Innovation of Devastation, the man, the myth, the legend, the one, the only, The Dooze!!! Now, I came out to the music of "Highway To Hell" by Ac/Dc because it’s a ass kicking song!!! Other than that, I wanted to address The Little Train Who Can’t, A-Train. Because, I just want you to know, that when you get in that ring with me, you are on the Highway To Hell. See, I did like you as a wrestler, I thought you were great. Well, that was all past tense. Ya know why? Because, once you get in the ring with me, you are my enemy. You are a rival. No matter if you are a friend, or if I respect you, or if you are my tag team parter, Yojin, I'm gonna have to tear you limb from limb. Now, a belt is on the line which makes this even more important to me. So, you can either think this over and be a smart person and not fight this match, or you can be stupid, get in the ring, lose and give me my sixth win out of six matches, and walk away without a belt. You will leave with something though. A hell of a lot of bruises... (The lights go off. Then, the color of blue flickers about the stands and "BIG BALLS" by Ac/Dc plays as The Dude and Yojin Musahiri make their way down to the ring. Yojin is wearing his usual black colored clothing. The Dude is wearing an official Boston Red Sox Hat and a Pedro Martinez Jersey. Under that Jersey is a T-Shirt Labeled "Geanious at Werk" and Genius and Work are supposed to be spelled wrong. Then, The Dude and Yojin finally get in the ring meeting Doozer.) The Dude: The Dude is in da houuuuuuuuuuuse and he's ready to RAISE some HAIRS, on the back of your neck, and DO some...STUFF!!! Yeah, that's right, It's the Proclaimation of Constipation, the man, i think, the myth, not really, the legend, hahaha, the one, yep, the only, sure, The Dudacious One!!! You know why I came down to "Big Balls" by Ac/Dc??? Well, because I like the song and because you...Wait, I can't lie. I HAVE BIG BALLS!!! Don Harvone: Well, it looks like Doozer, The Dude, and Yojin Musahiri are here to grace us with their presence. Well, it looks like Doozer is still confident about his match even though he did admit that A-Train is a good wrestler. Ya know what, The Dude is so stupid that he is actually pretty funny. Jerry: Are you kidding me? He's really funny. He's the only thing that that group has going right now. All the others are losers. Well, except for Slim Shady, but he's not here right now. JW: Well, I think this is a great group. Yojin is the Lightweight Champ and Doozer might be the future People's Champ. But, you can't count A-Train out. A-Train is a great wrestler. I think if Doozer actually concentrates on the match, he will win though. Don Harvone: Yeah, that is Doozer's problem. He just doesn't seem to care about the matches, but as long as he is winning, I guess we shouldn't be complaining about his lack of concentration. Doozer is a great wrestler and he will continue to be one until he wants to stop. That is another problem of his. He isn't very committed to anything. HE's only really been committed to two things here in the DWF. Thaila and his Novice Championship. Jerry: Yeah, and he lost them both at SuperClash 2, hahahaha!!! JW: Hey, that's not nice. Jerry: Well, he just let Thaila get beat up with a bat and just gave away his Novice Title to Extremist. Not very committed to anything these days. Don Harvone: Well, he really needs both of them back soon. But, he's undefeated and has won six matches. He also has a People's Championship Match on Wednesday. Maybe once he gets that belt, if he does, he'll be different. Doozer: Now, I see that Extremist has continued my tradition of naming the Novice Championship after the person who has treated you the best. Well, he named his 'Doozer', after me. Extremist, you know that there is no better way to get on Doozer's good side, than suck up to him. Thankyou for the recognition. Now, another fart smella, I mean smart fella is The Big Shot. Yeah, he thinks The Little Train Who Couldn't is a moron too. Well, Big Shot, it looks like we got something in common. We think that A-Train is an ummmm...Floppy Donkey Di(censored)!!!**crowd goes wild with laughter** Don Harvone: Well, it seems like Doozer is really going full bull at A-Train. You have to remember that A-Train is a great wrestler. Doozer is just getting A-Train madder and madder, pretty soon. He's gonna crack. I know it. It also seems like Extremist has gotton on Doozer's good side as of late and The Big Shot has also inadvertainly gotton on his good side by his dislike of A-Train. Jerry: Actually, Doozer is just trying to make as many friends as he can here in the DWF, do you know why? Because he sucks and can't do anything by himself. I mean, look at the amount of people in the ring. You have Doozer, Yojin Musahiri, and The Dude. Three people and he's trying to get more. (Then, the voiceless version of "THE REAL SLIM SHADY" by Eminem plays as Slim Shady makes his way down to the ring greeting him is Doozer, The Dude, and Yojin Musahiri.) Slim Shady: I just came out here to say...YOU ALL SUCK. Doozer: Well, I think I've said enough. So, The Little Train Who Can't, stay away from the little boys, they don't like you. But, to all you cool cat Red Sox Fans, Keep Cool and Kick Ass. 'Cause winning might not be everything, but losing SUCKS ASS!!! Don Harvone: Well, it seems like Slim Shady is an asshole. Jerry: He fits in with the rest of the group. JW: Good fight, good night. ("HIGHWAY TO HELL" plays as Doozer, The Dude, Slim Shady, and Yojin Musahiri make their way backstage. The Cameraman comes over to great them. Doozer snaps his fingers and Extremist comes out of the curtain and smacks the cameraman with a lead pipe.)