 |
Journal Entry #7 in "Doozer's Journal!!!" |
**Warning**: I have Dusty's Permission to use Dusty in this Journal Entry!!! I have Dusty's Permission to use 'The Dark and Demented' Dusty in this roleplay. Cast For Journal Entry(Their Name Will Be Their Color for this Entry): Dear Journal, (-{1}-)Yesterday ended up being a great day. The day started off rather horribly, but overall I had a blast. Last night, after catching up with the redneck at that store; The Dude, Dusty, and me decided to follow him back to his house. I knew he figured out that we were following him because ours was the only car behind his for miles. We followed his old Ford Pickup Truck for miles and miles and miles. We went from paved to dirt roads and kept on going. We took a right turn followed by a left turn followed by another right. I don’t see why then can’t just make one straight road instead of all those turns. Anyway, we continued to follow him until we finally reached his house. From there, he got out of his truck and brought with him his twenty-gauge shotgun. (-{1}-) (-{2}-) The redneck’s place wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be. Snow covered his lawn, but there he shoveled a path straight to his house. His house stood rather tall and wide. Large logs composed the house, which took on the color of dark brown stain. A porch stood in front of the house, stained the same color, looking fairly new and not weathered. Other than some windows and a few chairs on the porch, nothing else made up what I saw of the outside of the house. Well, back to my day now. Just like I said, the individual walked up to the three of us holding his twenty-gauge shotgun and not looking too happy. He didn’t look like a friendly human being at first, but ended up being quite the contrary. At the moment I wore a pair of baggy jeans and a navy blue, Nike jacket. Then, when he took another step towards us, I unzipped my Nike jacket to reveal my black ‘Born Buff’ T-shirt! (-{2}-) (-{3}-) With that done, the guy dropped his gun to the ground in an instant. His eyes bulged out as his face started to redden. His ‘I am going to kill you’ face turned into a smile that stretched from ear to ear. Then, he hit himself in the head and held out his hand to me. I took it and shook it. He now knew me and I could tell that he felt like an idiot. For that reason, I decided to forgive him. Then, he shook Dusty’s hand. Directly after that, he shook The Dude’s. The guy just stood there for quite some time totally speechless. He probably stood there thinking of how much of an idiot he made of himself. He also might have thought about this somehow getting into the papers. I felt a little awkward about starting a conversation with the redneck. I mean; he did just hold a gun up to me. Yet, I set that in the back of my mind and continued my ‘Race for Rednecks.’ (-{3}-) ::--(Doozer)--:: I stood for a moment making little circles in the snow with the tip of my shoes, then decided to speak up. "So, did we scare you a little by following you around like that?" I paused for a moment, but continued on before letting him reply. "I know that I would have just stopped miles back to beat the shit out him, if I were you. Then I would have gotten out of my car, and beat the shit out of the guy behind me until he told me what he was doing." ::--(The Redneck)--:: He laughed at my last comment, then replied to my question. He replied in the redneck accent, so bare with me because I can’t type in an accent. "Yeah, you sure as old heck scared me." He closed his left nostril with his pointer finger and snorted out a big glob of snot from his other. Following that, he hocked up a huge glob of mucus. "Do y’all want to come in?" ::--(The Dude)--:: The Dude smiled and answered than quicker than Dusty and me. "I don’t mind if I do, thank you very much." The Dude casually walked straight up the passageway to the house and up the porch. Then, he mocked the redneck’s way of talking by speaking in the accent himself. "This is a nice porch ya got here." ::--(The Redneck)--:: Now sure he happened to be a redneck, but does that mean he is stupid? Let me rephrase that. Now sure he happened to be a redneck, but does that mean he doesn’t pick up an insult? "Thanks you, Mr. I am a city-boy prick." (-{4}-) The redneck smiled a fake smile and stepped aside to politely let Dusty and I walk down the passageway towards his house. Dusty and I then stepped onto the porch, which happened to be just like I thought. New boards made up this porch. I bet the redneck made it not too long ago all by himself. He also built it pretty good, since not one board made a noise while stepping on it. They didn’t even make a noise when Dusty stepped on them. The redneck shortly followed Dusty and me into his house, where The Dude already stationed himself. I scoped out the redneck’s humble abode. The main room, which I stood in at the time, contained a number of items. They include: a television, a couch, shelves filled with tackle boxes, a wooden floor, a table way off to the right, and two chairs at each end of the table. (-{4}-) (-{5}-) The television looked really old fashioned. It had the two little antennas sticking up from the top and dust infested it everywhere. The couch sat in the middle of the room about ten feet in front of the television. The couch sat on a dark red, round carpet while its color was that of light brown. Old wooden boards made up what I saw three shelves. Each shelf stood over the each other, except for the shelf on the bottom of the three. They looked like they were about ready to topple over any second as I stood there and checked them out. They hung from the wall like any normal shelves and had a board running from one side of them to the opposite just like any other shelf you see. On the top shelf set a tackle box that was rather large. This tackle box took on the color of really light brown. The middle shelf also contained a tackle box as well as the bottom shelf. (-{5}-) (-{6}-) The tackle box that sat all alone on the middle shelf looked untouched since purchased. It took on the color red, but you could barely see it under the loads of dust. Below the first two, nailed to the wall, the bottom shelf hung looking equally as ugly as the first two and like I said before; it contained a third tackle box. The third tackle box also took the color of red and you could actually see it! This tackle box was probably the most used tackle box of the three. I think this because the tackle box sparkled with cleanliness. Then, there stood a table off five or so feet to the right of the couch. The table, stained a dark brown, looked rather sturdy. There were also two chairs at each end of this table. The chairs also took on the color of dark brown stain. On top of the seats set two comfy black pads, which made the place look a little more cozy. (-{6}-) (-{7}-) I looked to my left and saw the door that led to the kitchen. There, the redneck’s spouse busied herself by cooking up some fish. I looked to my right to see a door that led to their bedroom. I knew that because I could barely see the edge of their bed. I guessed that they had an outhouse because I saw no toilet present within the house. The suddenly poked her head out from the kitchen door and motioned to me to sit down and relax. So without arguing; I sat down on their couch in front of the television. Dusty sat on the other side of the couch and The Dude kept his present position. If you know The Dude, then you know he likes bathrooms. I won’t go into detail, but he just has a thing with them. On one strange day, a long time ago, The Dude somehow ended up being in two bathrooms at once. (-{7}-) ::--(Doozer)--:: I tend to be the opposite of a shy person when I visit other people’s house. I also tend to feel hungry in other people’s houses. Putting those two qualities together, will give you the reason for what I said. "Ms., what are we having for supper?" I looked over my shoulder and back to the kitchen door where the spouse stood and shot me a funny look. I then realized why she looked at me so questionably. "I mean; what’s for grub tonight?" ::--(Mrs. Redneck)--:: Her question-stricken face quickly turned into a large smile and happy face. "Tonight we eat fish." I attempted to ask, but she answered my question before-hand. "Good old lake trout is what makes up tonight's menu." ::--(Doozer)--:: Other than salmon, lake trout was my favorite. "Well, that sounds good to me." ::--(Dusty)--:: Dusty had gone to some sensitivity classes for Satan and it was obvious that they were working. "Why would you want to eat something that used to breathe and eat?" ::--(The Dude)--:: I definitely agreed with The Dude on his next comment. "Well, they taste damn good and that’s enough of a reason for me!" ::--(Doozer)--:: Dusty still didn’t seem convinced, so I decided to help out The Dude. "Dusty, do you know about those double quarter-pounder with cheese meals you always purchase at McDonalds and chow down on them in two seconds?" Dusty looked my way and nodded his head. "Well, you can take one guess as to what those contain." ::--(Dusty)--:: Dusty’s eyes bulged and his mouth opened wide. "You mean that they kill something to make those delicious hamburgers?" ::--(Doozer)--:: I slowly nodded my head then spoke up. "Yes, they slaughter cows for that meat." Then, I put my hand on Dusty’s shoulder. "So, you must decide between standing up for your beloved animals or being able to eat those hamburgers." ::--(Dusty)--:: We are talking about Dusty here; the decision was obvious. If you don’t think so, then you grew up in a barn. "Then I must say this on the subject." Dusty hesitated for a moment to build up the suspense. "May we bring on the fish and eat their guts out!" ::--(The Dude)--:: The Dude sat and stared at Dusty with a look of stupidity. "Dusty, we don’t eat the fish’s guts." ::--(The Redneck)--:: The redneck suddenly looked over to the three of us looking totally shocked. "We don’t eat the fish guts?" He paused for a moment, then continued on. "In this house, if you eat then you clean your plate." He paused again, then continued further. "Your plate will contain fish guts; I will bet on that!" ::--(Doozer)--:: I didn’t know about Dusty and The Dude, but I didn’t feel hungry anymore. "Well, I’m sorry, but I just lost my appetite." I tried to quickly think of some reason why I would lose my appetite other than the truth. "I think it’s the fact that I haven’t gotten much sleep as of late. I think I should go get some so I can defeat Chainz this weekend." I had done it again! I lied without making anybody question me. "So, if you could please show me to a place where I can lie down, then I would greatly appreciate it." (-{8}-) The redneck’s spouse hurried out of the kitchen and led me into her bedroom. It contained a bed, a drawer, a desk, and a tall lamp. She lifted the bed covers on the left side of the bed so that I could get in. Then, she tucked them back in once I had taken off my shoes and hopped into the bed. From there, she walked out of the room and shut the door behind her. The bed, which could contain two people, sat in the middle of the room. The head of it budded up against the northern wall. The bureau also took on the dark brown color of stain that these people used on almost ever piece of furniture in their house. The bureau stood about four feet tall, three feet wide, and two to three feet thick. A total of eight drawers made up the bureau and each of them looked the same with their white handles placed directly in the middle of each of them. (-{8}-) (-{9}-) The desk stood fairly short and not so wide, but it served its purpose. Well, at least it looked like it did with all the papers lying all over it. Then, to my right stood the tall lamp that stood alone. It had to be at least five feet tall. Metal made what I saw of the lamp and the shade over it looked like its main ingredient contained hay. I scoped everything in that room out and had nothing else to do. I lay on that bed without a shred of weariness, so I decided to stare at the ceiling. The ceiling just stayed motionless with cobwebs and stuff making an infestation on it. I kept on staring off into nowhere and suddenly I started to reflect upon past memories. Since I remembered myself of how The Dude loved bathrooms so much, they became the center of my memories. It took only two or three long minutes longer and I traveled off into la-la land. (-{9}-) (-{11}-) The Dude just ran into the bathroom and the first thing he did was he checked out the toilet. He ran directly over to it, pulled down the bowl cover and started to check out the pretty pink fur that served as merely a decoration. At first, he just ran his hand though the pink fur with a look of joy on his face. Then, he grew a little too excited. He actually put his face up to the pink fur and started rubbing his face on it. Shortly after that, he started curling the pink fur with his finger like a girl does to her hair. Then, he started to rub his face in it; for The Dude’s reputation I will stop describing what I saw right there. After that the toilet incident, The Dude frolicked happily over to the mirror. (-{11}-) (-{12}-) He saw a little button to the right of the mirror and he pushed it. Suddenly, the regular lights turned off and stripper lights turned on. Stripper lights are lights that flicker at any speed you desire. Well, The Dude seemed to love these stripper lights as he started to dance in front of the mirror. Suddenly, he took out a small camera from his right pant pocket and continued dancing while taking pictures of himself. Then, he took of his shirt, kept dancing, and kept taking pictures of himself in the mirror. Well, The Dude finally got tired of this dancing and he moved on to the shower. No, I will not tell you what The Dude did in the shower because you do not want to know. Next on his hit list was the shining silver of the sink’s faucet. He hopped out of the shower, put his clothes on, and skipped over to the sink. (-{12}-) (-{13}-) The Dude was obviously in paradise. I am not going to go into detail with what he did with that faucet because you do not want to know. He started off by stroking it up and down and up and down. Now that I look back at it, I realize why The Dude is always going to the bathroom. It isn’t because he has an overactive bladder. It isn’t because he eats to much fiber. It is because he loves the art of the bathroom. It is one of the rooms that people do not pay much attention to. They go in, take a shit or a piss, hopefully wash their hands, and get out. They don’t pay attention to everything in the bathroom and the beauty of the one that The Dude experienced so much fun it. So, without doing so, you might think that The Dude is a weird person. (-{13}-) (-{14}-) Yet, if you go out and encounter a beautiful bathroom, then you too might follow the ways of The Dude. That brings me to the present. Right now I am sitting down in my Ford Escape after getting kicked out of the redneck's house last night. See, he booted me out after his spouse kept on hitting on me. I told him that it wasn’t my fault that I’m so damn sexy, but he showed me the door anyway. Dusty, The Dude, and I ended up sleeping in my Escape that night. When we woke up this morning, we went over to that local store to get something to eat and that brings us to where we are now. We stand parked at a restroom because Dusty had to go really badly. Not to worry, these bathrooms aren’t anything like the Highway Restrooms. Well, I have nothing more to tell you except for just one thing. Mr. Journal, make sure to keep cool! (-{14}-)
Sincerely, 
|
