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Journal Entry #8 in "Doozer's Journal!!!" |
**Warning**: I have Dusty's Permission to use Dusty in this Journal Entry!!! I have Dusty's Permission to use 'The Dark and Demented' Dusty in this roleplay. Cast For Journal Entry(Their Name Will Be Their Color for this Entry): Dear Journal, (-{1}-)Today turned out to be a very boring day. I mean; this day blew donkey dick. When I think about it; today turned out to be probably one of the most boring days of my life. I woke up the same way I do every morning. I hopped into the show directly after waking up. Why do you do that? Well, to put it simply, I can’t fully wake up without being in the shower. Once I hopped out of the shower, I poured myself a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal, ate it up, ate two pieces of toast, and followed that up with absolutely nothing. I just sat on my Lazy Boy™ recliner chair, sat back, turned on the television, and watched ESPN. ESPN began to do highlights from the Dream Wrestling Federation as well as regular sports. I guess when they saw me wrestling, it made them think that wrestling is a real sport. (-{1}-) (-{2}-) All I did for the next three hours happened to be watching television. I probably indented the damn recliner chair from sitting there for so long. Yet, before I knew it, lunch time arrived. Finally, I had something to do for a half an hour and that is to eat. I realized that when you aren’t doing anything, you mostly think about food. I don’t know why, but most people just do. I do know that that is all Dusty ever thinks about no matter what, though. Anyway, I rose out of my chair and walked over to the refrigerator. What I saw at that very moment inside the refrigerator made me smile. There happened to be absolutely nothing to eat. This meant that I could drive down to the grocery store and buy some damn food. So, within two seconds, I grabbed my red sox hat. From there, I put on my orange Nike shoes and sped out of the house as quick as I could. (-{2}-) (-{3}-) Just before I opened the garage door Dusty decided to see how things work going. He wore his regular ensemble. That ensemble includes a baggy, yellow T-shirt with the word ‘Dusty’ across the chest. It also included a pair of baggy jeans, a pair of Air-walk shoes, and the big dummy’s spiffy hat. This is a rainbow-colored hat with a little, red, plastic helicopter propeller on the top. Now, it’s not that I wasn’t glad to see Dusty; I just didn’t want to be seen in public with him. Yet, I do not posses the cruelty to say that to his fat face. Oh, I forgot to inform you what I happened to be wearing. Today, I wore my official Red Sox hat on backwards along with a black T-shirt labeled ‘Born Buff.’ I also had a pair of baggy, khaki pants and my orange Nike shoes. Well, it took him a little while, but he finally approached me and we talked. (-{3}-) ::--(Doozer)--:: He opened his mouth to speak, but I decided to talk to him before he talked to me. "Yes, you can go with me." He smiled and I continued talking. "No, I won’t let you eat in my car." Dusty frowned at that statement as I continued. "Lastly, I forbid you to make me stop at a Highway Restroom." ::--(Dusty)--:: Dusty noticed myself shudder as I spoke those two words. "I remember what happened at the last stop." Dusty, himself, shuddered for a moment. "Trust me; I do not want to go back to that place." ::--(Doozer)--:: I nodded my head while smiling and replied. "It’s a good thing you don’t want to go back there." Dusty looked at me as if he didn’t understand what I meant. "I mean; even if you did, I wouldn’t stop for you." I smiled in that ‘bad guy’ way. "I would have just let you piss yourself right in the car." ::--(Dusty)--:: Dusty pretended to check his hearing and replied. "You would let me piss in your car?" ::--(Doozer)--:: I nodded my head slowly and thought about Dusty’s comment. "That’s right; I’d probably just stop, throw you out of my car, let you piss all you wanted in the woods, and leave you there." We both just stood in our spots saying nothing. So, I decided to break the silence. "Now get in the car and let’s hit the road." (-{4}-) I stepped into the driver’s seat of my Ford Escape. The Ford Escape was painted a nice yellow color and sparkled like it was brand new. Actually, it pretty much is brand new. Yet, keep it clean all the time. The seats were made of a tan-colored leather. The interior of this Ford was incredible. It made me want to start making love to the car… I mean… I didn’t say that! Anyway, let’s go back to my day now. Dusty hopped into his side of the automobile with ease. I took the keys, placed them into the ignition, started my car up, and drove off and out of my driveway. On the way out, I hit a little button on a remote control to close my automatic garage doors and then sped out into the road. The road isn’t exactly a dream rode to drive on, but in my Ford Escape, you couldn’t tell the difference between this pothole infested road and the highway. (-{4}-) (-{5}-) It didn’t take too long and we arrived at the local grocery store. It was a large store and very convenient being just a few minutes away from my house. The name of it is ‘Shop N Save.’ The parking lot happened to be very large and it should be that way. I mean, the parking lot was just packed. It might have been that the customers new that Doozer, The United States Champion of the DWF, was going to be there or maybe it was just a time to buy stuff. My guess is that they were knew I was going to be there. Anyway, I found a parking space that was open right near the store. How did I do such a thing? Well, it happened to be a ‘Handicapped’ Parking Zone. Hell, Dusty is mentally challenged, that’s a handicap. Dusty being retarded is not just a handicap for him either; I go through a lot of pain putting up with his shit all the time. (-{5}-) (-{6}-) Nonetheless, I hang out with him all the time. I guess that makes me a little mentally challenged. Well, I parked there and Dusty and I both stepped out of the car. I locked it and turned the alarm system on. I mean; you never know with these Boston folk. We walked the whole thirty or so feet until we finally reached the store. The two of us got into the store with ease and quickly went on our shopping spree. When I go to a store, no matter what kind, I buy a lot of shit. First stop was the dairy products. There, I bought the following items: milk, some coffee ice-cream, some more milk, some yogurt, and some more milk. Damn, I noticed that I must drink a lot of milk… Hey journal, why do you let me get off track like that? Back to the day now… (-{6}-) (-{7}-) Oh yeah, I was busying myself with the dairy products. Then it hit me. I could find out if the DARE Program actually helped Dusty out. Journal, or anyone reading this entry… If you were born and raised in a barn and do not know what my DARE Program is, then I will tell you. The DARE Program is set up to get people off Donuts. DARE stands for Donut Abuse Resistance Education. Our duty is: To Keep Fat People and Cops off Donuts! So, I decided that I would just play ‘spy’ and keep a close eye on Dusty. Screw buying groceries, I can do that whenever I want. Yet, getting to see what someone like Dusty does off by himself is a once in a lifetime thing. I saw Dusty’s hat over one of the shelves. So, I quickly moved over to the edge of the aisle he was in. (-{7}-) (-{8}-) I poked half of my head into the aisle far enough so I could see what he was doing. Just as I thought; he was checking out the donuts. Yet, it seemed like he was trying to resist them. Did my Program actually work? I couldn’t believe my eyes. Dusty put down the donuts. He started to walk the other way, but then he hurled himself back at the shelve stocked with donuts. He was drooling over the damn things. The guy is fat enough, you’d think that he could spare himself from gaining a couple extra pounds, but no. He is also very stupid, though. He obviously looked baffled at all the different types of donuts. He seemed like he couldn’t decide which he wanted. He picked up one, then put it down and picked up another. Then he’d put that one down and pick up a different type of donut. Just then, I overheard him talking to himself. (-{8}-) ::--(Dusty)--:: Dusty held the donuts in his two hands and stared down at them like they were something evil. "No, you can’t." Dusty put the donuts back down on the shelf. "Those donuts are bad." Dusty nodded his head. "Doozer said that they would make my fat ass fatter than it already is." ::--(The Dark and Demented Dusty)--:: Dusty’s eye-patch now covered Dusty’s left eye. "They are just so damn good, though." Satan made Dusty’s body pick up another package of donuts. "Oh, these look even more delicious than the others. I know I want some… Yummy to my tummy." (-{9}-) The eye-patch no longer covered Dusty’s left eye. Dusty caught himself, who was possessed by Satan, trying to shove down a donut. He quickly took the donut and threw it on the ground and started stomping on it like it was a jacket that caught fire. Dusty stomped and stomped until the donut was squashed into almost nothing. With all that stomping and all those mood swings by a seven foot tall, five hundred pound man, you can only imagine the crowd of people around him looking at him like he was a freak. Yet, I’m guessing that Dusty was used to that look by now. I mean, when you go around telling people that you are possessed by Satan and always fighting with yourself about something small, people are going to think. Plus, when you are that tall and that heavy and as dumb as an ox, people will look at you that way, too. (-{9}-) (-{10}-) Everything in every department that had to do with anything had never gone in Dusty’s way. He has no brain, he is fat, he is ugly, nobody really likes him, and he is an ogre. I would never tell such things to the guy’s face, because he is also a crybaby. So back to the story again… Dusty is in the middle of the donut aisle and he has repeatedly gone from loving to the donuts to refusing them and back again. Then, he just topped it all by almost eating a donut, then turning a full one hundred-eighty degrees and started stomping the donut into nothing. There was a large crowd around Dusty like he was Tiger Woods walking to the Eighteenth Hole with a one stroke lead and starting to kick ass. Dusty finally realized all the people were looking, staring, pointing, and whispering about him. He realized how dumb he must have looked to all these people. (-{10}-) ::--(Dusty)--:: Dusty looked from each varying face to the next. They ranged from black people, to brown, to tanned, and to white. Then, Dusty, who still hasn’t figured out that the truth doesn’t always help, decided to explain things. "I’m sorry, but Satan made me do it. See; a while ago, my friend Doozer took my to a movie. The movie was called ‘The Exorcist.’ Doozer and The Dude forced me to watch the movie, especially the scary parts." Dusty watched as all the people around him started to take a couple steps backwards. "Well, during that movie, Satan took over my body and he hasn’t left me since." ::--(The Fake Dark and Demented Dusty)--:: Dusty saw the faces on the people that said, ‘we aren’t buying it.’ So, he drew in a deep breathe and placed the eye-patch over his left eye. Yet, Satan took over his body when he wanted, the eye-patch was a way to show it. This time, Dusty put it there. So, Satan did not appear. Dusty saw the people look as if this were supposed to prove Dusty’s theory, so he tried his hardest. "That’s right, biatches!" Dusty tried hard to say the swears, which came to him without ease. "I am Satan… Bow Before Me!!! You will all be my little Hell Slaves!" ::--(Doozer)--:: I saw a worker slowly draw back and pick up a phone. I knew he was going to call the police on Dusty. Dusty was doing an all right job, but he just couldn’t be evil. It wasn’t in Dusty’s blood. So, I tried to get him out of there. "Hey Dusty, I think we should leave now." Dusty waved me off with his right hand. So, I decided to pick up my voice and make it a little more intimidating. "Dusty, you better get your stupid act over and done with and just leave with me. They are calling the police on you." ::--(The Fake Dark and Demented Dusty)--:: Dusty, who was still trying to keep his Satan act going up, turned to me and started to whine. Could you imagine Satan whining? "Doozer, I have to make these people realize that I am Satan." Dusty saw the people with screwed up looks on their faces. So, Dusty cleared his voice and started to yell at me to prove his point. "Yeah, Doozer you think you are so big! You are nothing compared to Satan! Feel my wrath and bow before me!" ::--(Doozer)--:: Now Doozer doesn’t bow before anybody and Dusty just made a big mistake. Now, he acted all tough, that meant I had to act tough and kick his ass to keep my good reputation going. "Oh, you Satanic bitch, you!" Dusty started to grow a little timid while seeing my eyes flare. "Doozer doesn’t bow before anybody! I am Doozer… And you are my bitch! Now, you better get the hell out of here with me before the cops get here… Or else I will Dooze You, then Abuse You!" ::--(The Fake Dark and Demented Dusty)--:: Dusty was still trying to keep up his tough guy Satan act. "Yeah, well I guess I’ll go… Just because of the cops… Even though I could kick the poo… I mean shit out of them!" Dusty puffed out his chest and followed me as I ran out of the store. "Don’t you be stepping!" (-{11}-) I quickly stopped running and turned to Dusty. Dusty was slowly making his way out the door while looking back at the people and pointing fingers at them while trying to act all big and bad. As he passed me while still looking the other way, I punched him right in the gut. He doubled over with pain as the other people laughed at the so called ‘Satan.’ I couldn’t help but laugh myself, it was rather funny. Yet, I shook off the laughs rather quickly and ran out the door. I couldn’t really run though, because then I’d leave Dusty behind. So, I grabbed onto his arm and helped him along as quickly as possible. It’s a good thing that we were parked in the Handicap Zone or else we wouldn’t have made it. The cops were pulling in quickly just as I threw Dusty in the back of the automobile where you keep your luggage. (-{11}-) (-{12}-) Back there all the windows were tinted and there was enough room so that Dusty could lay down. So, Dusty laid down in the back and I, acting all normal and innocent, pulled out of the parking space as any regular person would. I strolled by the cops, shooting them a friendly smile and a little wave as I passed. I drove out of the parking lot and into the road. From there, I went at a nice pace for about four minutes, then hit on the gas pedals and pushed them all the way down to the mat. I figured that the people working at the police would have told the cops which car Dusty and I drove up in, and that is why I hurried then. That brings us to here and now. I am in my house sitting down at my computer desk inside my room. I am typing away at my computer telling you, Mr. Journal, how my day went. And at Prime Time, I will fight Oddball… A man who I have fought before and beaten before for the number one contendership to the title at which I hold right now. All I can say about our match is that Oddball won’t even know what is going to hit him this Sunday. Once it’s all said and done and the dust is cleared, he will have known that Hurricane Doozer had run through his country! So, now I only have two more words to type to you, Journal… Those two words are… KEEP COOL!!!(-{12}-)
Sincerely, 
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