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Journal Entry #9 in "Doozer's Journal!!!" |
**Warning**: I have Dusty's Permission to use Dusty in this Journal Entry!!! I have Dusty's Permission to use 'The Dark and Demented' Dusty in this roleplay. Cast For Journal Entry(Their Name Will Be Their Color for this Entry): Dear Journal, (-{1}-) Today was probably one of the most fun days that I have recorded in my journal. The day started off just like any normal day. I woke up and directly hopped into the body cleansing area that some people like to call 'the shower.' In the shower, I took the soap on a string and started washing my armpits. I have soap on a string just because I'm afraid that Nasty Nate might pop up right behind me if I drop my soap. You don't think he will, do you? Well, now it's my turn to prove you wrong. I looked behind me and in front of me to reassure myself that Nasty Nate wasn't already there. Then, without much more hesitation, I dropped the soap. Yeah, that's right Mr. Journal, I dropped my soap intentionally. It was almost as if I dropped it in slow motion because I watched it bounce up slowly from the flooring of my shower and down on the floor and back up again. (-{1}-) (-{2}-) Then, as my attempt to prove you wrong about my Nasty Nate being anywhere the soap drops theory, I bent over... Directly after I bent over, I turned around and there was NASTY NATE! Oh my god, I was right. Only this time, I didn't want to be right. Nasty Nate was standing butt naked right behind me and he was going in for the kill. He had his 'Naughty Jungle of Love' whipped out and ready to poke me. Without any pauses or hesitation, I quickly back-kicked him, or as I say 'donkey kicked', directly in the balls. Suddenly, "Nasty Nate" bent over in pain and let out a loud, ear piercing, screech. Nasty Nate stayed bent over held his balls in pain, then another big figure appeared from behind Nasty Nate... Oh my god... IT'S NASTY NATE!!! (-{2}-) (-{3}-) I stood up and looked back at both men who each resembled Nasty Nate. The first thought that entered my fragile little mind, at the moment, happened to be: "Could this just be all a nightmare?" So, I proceeded on doing the first thing that usually can wake you up, or at least it works in all the movies and shows. I took my right and pinched myself on the second most sensitive part of the male body: directly under your arm, where your triceps are. I let out a loud bellow of pain and realized that I was in reality. I was also in the shower with Nasty Nate... Not one, but two of them!!! Just when I thought this couldn't get any more weird, the Nasty Nate of whom I kicked in the balls, took of his head, and revealed himself to be Dusty. Dusty was dressed up as a big, naked black man. (-{3}-) (-{4}-) He took off the remaining of his black body suite. I shot a look at Dusty, who was out of his suite and had stepped out of the shower. Then, I looked over at the other black man and wondered who it could be. Could this beast of an African-American be the real Nasty Nate? Did Nasty Nate actually have the capability to move in my house and get directly behind me with the sound of a mere bar of soap hitting the floor? To this very hour, I still do not believe that Nasty Nate has that capability, but how could I try to find a reason for him standing in my shower? I had to find out and I knew how I could find out. Yet, before I did something like that, I had to clear something up with Dusty. (-{4}-) ::--(Doozer)--:: I looked questionably over towards Dusty and realized that I could get a straight answer out of him. "Dusty, what the hell were you trying to do just then?" I shook my head in disbelief. "You can't just go around people's bathrooms dressed up as Nasty Nate!" ::--(Dusty)--:: Dusty hesitated for a second, as if he lost his train of thought, which he probably does a lot of the time, then he replied. "I just wanted to help prove you to be correct." Dusty saw that I didn't understand what he meant. "That is why I dressed up as Nasty Nate." (-{5}-) Could Dusty possibly have the ability to travel through time? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then remember that I just type this in the journal. These action scenes aren’t happening as I type away. These are scenes that happened earlier today. So, if you scroll up to the first description scene, you will see that I told you just then that Nasty Nate would come. I didn’t say anything earlier today about it at all. I was just betting with you just a couple minutes ago. Then, Dusty appeared as Nasty Nate and said that he did so because he wanted to help me win the bet and prove that Nasty Nate would come. That means that Dusty would had to have read this journal entry and then travel back in time to do that. Yet, I won’t get into that. Dusty, in my mind, isn’t even human. (-{5}-) (-{6}-) I don’t even want to discuss this right now because it’d take too much time and by the time that I would have finished, I would probably forgot about how my day went. So, where was I? Oh yes, Dusty dressed up as Nasty Nate to help me prove myself to be correct. Well, after he said that, I looked back at the big, black man in my shower. I decided that there was no better time than right then to figure out who this black man happened to be. So, I looked him dead in the eyes, and then as just a safety precaution, I put on a pair of orange, silky boxers and a pair of baggy jeans. Then, I stepped into the shower and stared the black man down for all his worth. I took the bar of soap on a string, picked it up and then dropped it again. (-{6}-) (-{7}-) With the drop of soap, Nasty Nate’s eyes bulged out of their sockets. I could see it in those very eyes that he wanted me to bend over and pick it up. Yet, I happened to be smarter than Nasty Nate took me to be. I stared him straight in his dark brown eyes. He stared back into my deep blue eyes. Then, The Dude suddenly ran into the bathroom. Under his shirt, he held something tightly to his body. Then, something entered my head. I figured that The Dude probably had a porno under his shirt and came in the bathroom to spank the monkey, if you know what I mean. So, regretting every moment in that next minute of my life, I looked down and saw it. There was a huge bulge in the ‘danger area’ of The Dude’s pants. (-{7}-) (-{8}-) I had to step out of the shower as quickly as possible, pick up the toilet seat, and puke my entire insides out. I wanted to shoot myself right then and there, but I decided puking would be a better long-time solution. I mean; if I were to shoot myself, there would be no long time anything. While I was puking up a storm into the toilet, Dusty decided to check out this Nasty Nate wannabe. Dusty stepped into the shower and stared at Nasty Nate. Nasty Nate stared back. Yet, Nasty Nate was like a wolf and his pray happened to be a nice piece of ass. Yeah, a nice piece of male ass. Like a wolf, Nasty Nate could see the fear and fragileness in Dusty’s face. Nasty Nate could smell it and as he did he smiled. Actually, Nasty Nate was probably smelling the shit because Dusty probably shit himself right then and there. (-{8}-) (-{9}-) If I know The Dude like I know The Dude, he was thinking of the movie ‘Half Baked.’ He was probably thinking of the scene in the showers. See, in this seen, Kevin, the kindegarden stoner of a teacher, had been arrested and thrown in jail. Before this incident that happened in the showers, Nasty Nate, who is in the movie ‘Half Baked’ had been harassing Kevin. Nasty Nate told Kevin over and over how he wanted Kevin’s fruit cocktail. Actually, Nasty Nate would say, "I want your cocktail… FRUIT!!!" Then, the Squirrel Master would come out of no where and say, "Back off Nate, this one is my bitch!" With that said, the Squirrel Master took Kevin by the arm and led him out of the cafeteria. Kevin left with him, but not before saying in his gentle voice, "Yeah, I’m somebody’s bitch." To clear things up even more, I will explain to you just how Kevin ended up in jail by tracking back in the movie to when they were all smoking their group bong named ‘Billy Bong Thornton." (-{9}-) (-{11}-) Anyway, the four of them started ‘coming down.’ They decided that it happened to be Kevin’s turn to buy the munchies. So, Kevin asks what they all want and Brain says that he wants the following things: (sorry if I forgot a few items) popcorn, funions, lots of water, a pizza, ice cream (I think.) That is all I can remember for now, guess I’ll have to watch the movie again. Anyway, Kevin walks out the house and the scene cuts. It opens back up with Kevin exiting the grocery store with two, maybe three, bags of groceries. Surprisingly, with his amazing Stoner Powers, he remembered every single thing that Brian told him to buy without writing it down. Yet, Kevin’s soft side got the best of him as he saw a horse. He places his groceries on top of the pizza box, which sat over the trash can and started talking to the horse. (-{11}-) ::--(Kevin)--:: Kevin started to pat the horse and softly stroke it. Then, Kevin was struck by a thought about the horse being hungry. "Are you hungry, fellow?" (-{12}-) Kevin started taking food out of the brown, paper bags and fed the horse. He smiled as he as he popped open the popcorn, which must have amazingly already been in a microwave and popped by itself. Then, the scene switched off to probably a half hour later. Kevin fed the horse every last bite of food he bought. The horse stood for a moment, with the same look on his face. So, Kevin thought that he must still be hungry. Yet, Kevin ran out of food and had to say, "Sorry, buddy, you ate all my food." The cameras zoomed over to the horse and it suddenly fell down with a plop. Within a second or two, a cop arrived on the spot. The cop looked devastated. Kevin looked over the cops shoulder as the cop was tending to the horse. (-{12}-) ::--(Kevin)--:: Kevin looked about as if he were ready to start crying on the spot. He saw the cop tending to the horse and checking his pulse, then he decided to say something. "He was hungry." ::--(The Cop)--:: The cop stood up angrily and turned to Kevin. "That horse is a police horse!" Kevin held a questioning face to show that he was more concerned about how the horse felt. "That horse is also a diabetic!" The cop’s face turned beet red and he pushed Kevin against a nearby pole and started to handcuff him. "You are being arrested for the murder of a police officer. You stupid bastard!" ::--(Kevin)--:: Kevin started to cry and spoke in a whiny/ scared voice. "No! I like horses… I like horses." ::--(The Cop)--:: The cop proceeded to put on the handcuffs and kept talking. "His name was Buttercup!" ::--(Kevin)--:: Kevin still spoke in the same fragile voice. Remember, he is still stoned. "Butter… stuff." ::--(The Cop)--:: The cop repeated himself after hearing Kevin say the wrong name. "Buttercup!" ::--(Kevin)--:: Kevin tried saying the name again. "Butter… stuff!" The cop started to form a whimper to his voice and said, ‘BUTTERCUP!’ "Butter… stuff!" The cop yelled out, ‘BUTTERCUP!’ Kevin was practically crying and held his head up and screamed the name of the horse. Well, at least he tried to. "BUTTERSTUFF… BUTTERSTUFF… BUTTERNUTS!" (-{13}-) The scene faded to black. The three friends found out that Kevin had been put in jail after Kevin used his phone call to call them. Then, back at the jail, Kevin was eating in the cafeteria. This is the main part that reminded The Dude of this very movie. Kevin was eating and Nasty Nate was sitting on the direct opposite side of the same table. Nasty Nate was staring at Kevin with flared nostrils and bulged eyes. Kevin tried to avoid him and it, but the stare was unbearable. They all wore orange body suites at that time. Nasty Nate kept staring at Kevin and I know, from later on in the movie, what Nasty Nate was thinking about. He was thinking that Kevin was fresh meat and Nasty Nate wanted him. Kevin slowly stood up from his lunch table, being too petrified to eat, and started to walk away. Nasty Nate suddenly jumped out of his seat and pointed at Kevin. (-{13}-) ::--(Nasty Nate)--:: Nasty Nate kept his big black finger pointing at Kevin. "Give me your cocktail… FRUIT!" ::--(The Squirrel Master)--:: The Squirrel Master suddenly jumped into the scene. He stood between Nasty Nate and Kevin. Then, without showing one ounce of fear, he spoke to Nasty Nate. "You listen here, Nate. This one is my bitch!" ::--(Nasty Nate)--:: Nasty Nate looked directly by the Squirrel Master and into Kevin’s eyes. "The Squirrel Master can’t be around you all the time." Nasty Nate formed an evil green, then continued. "When he isn’t, I’m gonna get me some of your cocktail… FRUIT!" (-{15}-) For all you retards out there who don’t know, this signaled that Satan had taken over Dusty’s body. Dusty looked fiercely into the eyes of Nasty Nate. Suddenly, I saw Nasty Nate’s eyes start to calm down. He wasn’t the big, tough guy that he had been just minutes ago. Before it was like Dusty was Nate’s soon to be bitch, but now the tables looked like they had turned. It now looked like Nate was Dusty’s soon to be bitch. Well, Nate was Satan’s soon to be bitch. Dusty, without any more hesitation, bent over and picked up the bar of soap. To my surprise, Nasty Nate didn’t even go in for the kill. The first thing that struck me was that Nasty Nate had come up with a cold or something. Then, Dusty set the soap on a string on his little holder thing and spoke to Satan. (-{15}-) ::--(Dusty)--:: Dusty’s only eye that showed at the time flared up and bulged out as he spoke. "I am Satan!" Nasty Nate started to show signs of fear. "Bow before me!" ::--(Nasty Nate)--:: Nasty Nate grew a smile on his face. "It will be my please, you Satanic stud-muffin!" (-{16}-) Following his words, Nasty Nate bowed down. I think that Dusty didn’t know what to do from then on. Dusty was like one of the brothers in the movie, ‘Night at The Roxbury.’ They used all these come on lines, but once they got the girls in bed, they didn’t know what to do. Well, Dusty, when Satan took over his body, always told people to bow down before him, but Nasty Nate was the first person to do so. Now, since somebody had finally bowed down for ‘The Dark and Demented’ Dusty, he didn’t know what to do. So, Dusty just looked down at the floor of the shower, then looked up at the ceiling and then looked from right to left. Finally, he decided that he would do something. He reared his foot back and kicked Nasty Nate directly in the face. Directly after the kick to the face, Dusty ran out of the bathroom with all his speed. (-{16}-) (-{17}-) I saw this and Nate looked hurt. What do you think the first thing I did was? Hell, I ran out of there four times faster than Dusty! I mean; would you want to wait around for a big, black, homosexual who just got kicked in the face by your best friend to see what his reaction was? If you have half a brain, then you probably wouldn’t. Yet, there are always those morons who would stay and either get their ass kicked or in this case they would get their ass molested. Yet, I ran away to live another day. Well, I’m not at that other day yet, but I’m gonna make it. As of right now, I am sitting in front of my computer and typing to you what I did today. I must say for myself that today was definitely the most interesting of them all. (-{17}-)
Sincerely, 
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