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Journal Entry #12 in "Doozer's Journal!!!" |
**Warning**: I have Dusty's Permission to use Dusty in this Journal Entry!!! I have Dusty's Permission to use 'The Dark and Demented' Dusty in this roleplay. Cast For Journal Entry(Their Name Will Be Their Color for this Entry): Dear Journal, (-{2}-) Dusty commented on the nice texture of the floor tiles, which really threw us all off. The Dude just motioned for us to watch him and he ran full speed, jumped up, and landed in a spread eagle on a huge mat of foam that was leaning against a wall. Mr. Salami and I decided that it would be best if we just ignored the other two. So, we continued talking to each other. We talked about what the show would be all about, which for now is still a news type of format. We also talked about who would be co-stars in the show, which I figured that I would choose. We also decided that I could have any guest stars on the show if I wanted, which I also decided I would do. Then, with the shake of two hands, The Dude, Dusty, and myself left Mr. Salami at the studio, who decided he wanted to stay there for a little while. (-{2}-) (-{3}-) Well, that is pretty much the rest of the day. Yet, today happened to be much more exciting. Today, my friends, was the day when Doozer Television came back to MTV. As you should know by now, we do live shows and that is why it only takes a day. Anyway, my morning started off exactly the same. That’s correct; my mornings are the most boring mornings that you will probably ever hear of. Yet, are mornings supposed to be all exciting? Well, certainly if you suddenly wake up with some hot chick laying in the bed next to you, then you can get all excited. Other than that one exception, I don’t think mornings are supposed to be that exciting. Anyway, like I said, I ate served myself up some scrambled eggs and bacon, ate my breakfast, hopped into the shower and did all the good stuff that you do in the shower and I started off my day. (-{3}-) (-{4}-) I shut off all my lights, turned off the television, and locked my door on the way outside. Directly after I took my first step off from the porch, it suddenly struck me. I worried about if I had remembered to turn off the oven. I assured myself on false truth that I had done it, but after walking out to my garage, opening my garage, and staring at the doors lift up by themselves, I started to wonder if I really had turned it off. Well, my mind was easily distracted from any thought as once again, Dusty’s body formed from his feet to his head as my garage doors opened to reveal him standing directly behind the doors and looking outward. I looked questionably at the five hundred pound moron, then he snapped out of his daze and started to talk to me. (-{4}-) :{=-(Perfectly)-=}:Doozer>:{=-(Great)-=}: I didn’t know what to do, but I decided I should start doing something. So, my first movement was that of takes Dusty arm and throwing it off from my shoulder. Then, I decided that I would speak. "How about we just avoid any weird confrontation with your psychic powers and let’s just go to the studio." I desperately wanted to know exactly how he knew my oven had been shut off, so even though I was freaked out by this whole thing, I asked him. "How exactly did you know that I turned off my oven?" :{=-(Very)-=}:Dusty:{=-(Fat)-=}: Dusty just gazed in my direction. Yet, it looked like he was looking right past me as if I weren’t even there. Then, with a slow and deep voice, Dusty began to speak. "What are you talking about, oven?" Dusty suddenly snapped out of whatever kind of funk he was in and continued. "Doozer, you didn’t leave your oven on, did you?" (-{6}-) You know; the one that is mounted on the wall next to me, and smashed it over the damn oven. I mean; every minute something else would pop up and make me think about Dusty being all freaky and stuff like that. Especially when I was trying my hardest to keep the subject out of my mind. Well, I quickly shook off the invading thoughts about Dusty and walked out of my house. I locked it for a second time and made my way back to my garage where Dusty stood. Now that I remember the moment when I made my way back to Dusty, I realize that he hadn’t moved one inch since I left to go in and check my oven. The retard was just standing straight up and looking directly in front of him. Yet, he had the look in his eyes like he really wasn’t looking at anything. (-{6}-) (-{7}-) Now, I was fed up with this dazed, confused, then psychic bullshit from Dusty and I wasn’t going to let it get to me any longer. So, I let the big idiot stand there for a short minute while I walked into my backyard and towards the shed. I took out my house keys and on the same key holder thing, I held out the keys to my shed. I opened it up and from it, I pulled out a large two by four. I took the two by four and held it with both hands as I slowly and quietly walked back towards Dusty. As I rounded the side of the house and got a good view of him, I realized that he was still standing in the exact same position and was still dazing off into nowhere. So I continued to walk cautiously up to him from behind and finally I had reached my destination. (-{7}-) (-{8}-) I formed a smile that stretched from ear to ear as I raised the two by four high over my head. I held it high and as I did so, I made sure that I remained quiet. If I were to make a noise, Dusty might get out of his temporary funk. Just as I was ready to throw my arms down with full force and smash the two by four over Dusty’s head, he threw back his elbow and drove it deep into my stomach. I doubled over with pain and dropped the two by four. Of course, with my luck, I held the two by four above my head the whole time and when I dropped it, it came smashing down onto my head. The impact of the two by four hitting me on my head send me down to the grass totally knocked out. (-{8}-) (-{9}-) I’m not exactly sure what happened after that, but Dusty did tell me his version of the story. Well, all I have to say before I tell you his version of the story is that if you like fiction books and fairy tales, then you will definitely like this story. I mean; I didn’t believe this story when Dusty told it to me and I still don’t know that I remember fully what he told me. I don’t really think that anybody who reads this story will believe it. If someone does read it and does believe it then that someone is a total retard and should be spending his mornings, afternoons, and evenings in Shady Acres Mental Hospital. Yet, I will just tell you the story for shits and giggles because I think it is unbelievable enough to the extent that it is funny. (-{9}-) (-{10}-) **Note: This is From Dusty’s Point of View. So, The Description will be the story from Dusty’s character and in his exact words. Just think of it as if Dusty is now writing in the journal in first person from now until the end of the story.** Well, after I kicked your bum-bum before you could smash the poop head of a two by four over my head, I started to feel bad. I told myself that I had been a bad boy and I should be spanked. No, I lied. I didn’t say that. But I did feel bad so I picked you up. Then, I had you balanced on my shoulders and started to bring you over to my house when three men dressed in karate suites jumped out from the bushes with numb-chucks and swords and stuff like that. (-{10}-) (-{11}-) So, I laid you down on the grass behind me as I started to kick the poo right out of those karate guys’ butts. See, they were after the hundred million dollars worth of diamonds that I was keeping in my pocket the whole time. I had the hundred million dollars worth of diamonds because Giovanni, my great and almighty kun-fu master told me that I had to deliver them to a group of angry monkeys. The monkey’s were holding Japan hostage with a high technologically advanced Nuclear Bombs. Well, these Karate people must have been sent by Balthasar, Giovanni’s arch enemy. I am sure of this because Balthasar has been trying to steal the diamonds and he was going to give them to the monkeys and form an alliance with them. Anyway, you were knocked out on the ground and I fought the three Karate guys. The first Karate guy must have been eight feet tall and about nine hundred pounds. (-{11}-) (-{12}-) But, he didn’t stand a chance against me as I used my lightning quick speed and reflexes to run behind him and kick him right in the bum. After I kicked him in the bum, the big Karate guy died on the spot from ‘I-got-a-foot-up-the-ass-itus.’ Well, the next two Karate guys were no contest for my brute strength and sexy looks. So, I picked you back up and started to carry you to my house where I would meet up with Giovanni. Before much time at all, I was standing in front of my front door with you on my shoulders. Then, I rang the doorbell waiting for Giovanni to answer the door. Well, as I rang it, a net came down on us and then picked us both up. So, we were both dangling from a large net and suddenly Giovanni came out of my house. He looked up at you and I and started laughing. (-{12}-) (-{13}-) Giovanni and Balthasar then started to laugh at me, and smacked me around, and I got MAD! So, I used my x-ray vision and started to burn the rope of the net. Just a minute after I started using my x-ray vision, the rope burned through and we fell from the net. Luckily, Giovanni and Balthasar broke our fall, as well as their necks. Then, I got up and dusted myself off. After that, I picked you up and put you back on my shoulders. Then I carried you over to my private jet that happened to be conveniently parked in my front yard. (-{13}-) (-{14}-) Then, I took you over on my shoulders to the private jet. The big stairs of the jet slowly moved down to the ground as we approached it. Once it got down on the ground, I took you and climbed the steps up to jet, opened the door and entered it. Yet, you had to be a big poop-head and your head hit the side of the door entrance while I was walking. So, that caused me to loose my grip on you and you tumbled back down the stairs to the ground. I slowly walked down and once I touched the ground, a ghost appeared out of thin air! The ghost was big, ugly, and smelled like a bum. It didn’t take too long before I ran away and left you on the ground. I ran into my house and jumped over Giovanni and Balthasar, who were laying on my front porch, like the hurdler that I am. (-{14}-) (-{15}-) Then, I ran over to my phone and started dialing numbers. I dialed the following numbers: 1-800-44678-2878377! That’s right; if you didn’t take the time to look at the phone and convert the numbers into letters you would have found out that I actually dialed up 1-800-GHOST-BUSTERS! Oh yes; I called the Ghost Busters. And before you know it, those Ghost Busters were right in my driveway and ready to catch that poop of a ghost. There was Ray and Egor and… Stew… and Dave… and Sammy… and Charles. Okay; you caught me. I forgot the names of the Ghost Busters. Yet, I did remember Ray and Egor. From there, the Ghost Busters took the Ghost down in no time and I took the little box that the ghost was trapped in and I farted on it. Then, I took you back up on my shoulders and carefully got you through the door and into the private jet. (-{15}-) (-{16}-) Before you knew it, we were at the Pentagon that was currently being taken over my vicious, man eating monkeys! Well, these monkeys were taking over the world because of the movie "Land of The Apes." Apparently, that movie motivated the monkeys to do this and whoever decided to let their pet monkey watch this movie should be shot. Yet, I decided to buckle down and go out and fight those monkeys. I decided to leave you in the private jet by yourself for your own protection while I was out fighting the monkeys. Well, the first fifty monkeys were big, but not enough for me. I took out those monkeys without any problems. Then, inside the pentagon, the chief monkey was running the controls to the highly technologically advanced Nuclear Bomb. Yet, I didn’t let this Godzilla sized monkey intimidate me. (-{16}-) (-{17}-) I just gritted my teeth and said to myself, "It’s time to choke the monkey!" So, I did just that. I jumped up on the monkeys back and started to choke him. I yelled at him with certain phrases like: "Who’s my bitch", "You’re my bitch", "You’re my monkey", and "I’m choking my monkey!" Yes, I was choking my monkey pretty damn good. I choked him so hard that he turned purple and puked. **Note:… Hey sicko, take your mind off masturbating… Dusty is just choking his monkey until it puked… Take your mind out of the gutter!** Then, I eventually killed the monkey and kept the diamonds for myself. After that, I ran back out to the private jet, not as Dusty, but as a world Hero! That’s right; Dusty, myself, was the world Hero. Yet, I let it get to my head and a new-born monkey hit me in the head and took the diamonds. (-{17}-) (-{18}-) Well, that is where Dusty said the story ended. He added that from there he took me safely back to my house. Yet, when we passed his house, I didn’t happen to see Giovanni or Balthasar or anything else. Plus, we didn’t travel back by the jet, actually I was in his piece of shit truck when I came back to consciousness. Anyway, I’m sitting here at my desk in front of my computer typing away my day and I am about ready to call it a night. I mean, after a day full of monkeys and nuclear bombs and saving the world, wouldn’t you be tired too? Well, Mike Extreme is my opponent for Sunday Night Slaughter, but all I can tell to him is that come Sunday, he is going to be Doozed and Abused! He will pay even if I end up losing. No matter what happens, I will make sure to give him the beating of his life. That my friends, is not a promise, but a guarantee. (-{18}-)
Doozer 
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