(The scene opens up at Doozer’s house. He is sleeping with the People’s Championship pressed up against his face. The Dude wakes up and takes a shower. Slim Shady follows him. Doozer is sleeping in his room with the People’s Championship. Yojin is off to Japan, showing off his Lightweight Championship. The Dude finally wakes up Doozer. He does this by taking the People’s Championship off his face. Doozer wakes up quickly.) Doozer: Where the hell is my BELT. What happened? What happened? Who took it? I’ll kill them. Did I lose it already? The Dude: God, phsyco, it’s right here. (The Dude hands Doozer his belt, Doozer hugs it. He goes into the shower, bringing the belt with him. He gets dressed and sits down in the living room with Slim Shady and The Dude.) Doozer: Hey, Slim. I heard you could be put away for five years in the slammer. I once fought a wrestler named The Slammer. He totally sucked ass. He thought he was the king sh(censored), though. He was nothing. Anyways, why are you being put away in the slammer. Slim Shady: Well, first off, I started a little fire. Then, I fired a gun at someone and beat the living sh(censored) out of this motha fu(censored)ing homo who was kissing my wife, Kim. The Dude: You mean, the same Kim who you wrote that song about. **quivers** I had nightmares about that song for weeks. **starts sucking his thumb** Slim Shady: Pussie!!! The Dude: What’d you call me? Slim Shady: I called you a pussy!!!**stands up** (The Dude stands up and gets in the face of Slim Shady. Shady gives him an evil eyeball.) The Dude: **sits down** Okay, just checkin. Slim Shady: That’s what I thought, bitch. The Dude: What did you call me? Punk. Slim Shady: I called you a bitch, you got a problem with that? The Dude: No, just checkin. (They keep this on for quite a while. If you think that’s bad. Then, you should look over on the couch where Doozer is talking to his People’s Championship.) Doozer: How are you Mr. People’s Championship. You lookin good today. You know what Mr. People’s Championship? You are a sexy bitch. You know that don’t you? I’m sure you do. Now, what do you think we should do today? Oh, you are very nice. You think that we should do whatever I want to do. That’s nice of you now isn’t it? Yes, it is. Slim Shady: He’s totally lost it now. He’s a fu(censored)ing nutcase. What are we gonna to with him? The Dude: I don’t have a clue. Hey, maybe we should watch the tape of when we went to Japan to see Yoman Muckadack. Doozer: What about seeing Yojin, he’s the only guy that can trust me now, I guess. Slim Shady: What do you mean? Doozer: Well, I was gonna be in the stable with Dazz and them, but people in the back were saying that I would’ve turned on him. That’s bullsh(censored) because I’d give up my People’s Title to be in the same stable as Dazz. So, I guess I’m the guy who shouldn’t be trusted and hell, I might give those bastards in the back a reason to accuse me of that. They want me to be the one who shouldn’t be trusted, I just might be. The Dude: You will always stay with us, though, right? Doozer: Dude, you’d die if I wasn’t with you. I really don’t need Shady and he doesn’t need me, but he’s cool. Slim Shady: Damn right. Now, let’s show the tape of us going to Japan and seeing Yojin. (They put the tape in the VCR and it plays. It shows Doozer, The Dude, The Cameraman, and Slim Shady all hop into the limo and get on their way to the airport.) Doozer: Don’t people in Japan speak Japanese? Shouldn’t we have a guy that translates? The Dude: What and who? We are going to Japan? Slim Shady: Yeah, they speak Japanese, moron. We don’t need a translator, it shouldn’t be that hard. I mean, come on. The Dude: Go where? Doozer: Yeah, they cost money. We are smart enough. The Dude: We are? Slim Shady: Well, at least me and you are, Doozer. The Dude: IS ANYONE LISTENING TO ME? Doozer: What was that…. The Dude: You heard me!!! Doozer: Slim? The Dude: **starts crying** Damn both of you straight to hell. (The limo finally pulls up to the airport and Slim Shady finds his private jet. Doozer, The Dude, The Cameraman, and Slim Shady get in it and head to Japan. The Dude is quite mad because the peanut girl doesn’t have peanuts, only chicken, steak, and wine. The Dude: No peanuts??? Chicken, steak, and wine, but no peanuts. What has the world come to? (The girl gives him some toys and he calms down) Slim Shady: Dude, I have two large peanuts, but you can’t have them. The Dude: Where are they? I want to see them. Doozer: Speaking about peanuts, Me and Jack Harding want a tag title shot against Big Dick and Little Peter, The StuDD Brothers. Yeah, we can easily kick their ass. Slim Shady: That would make the both of you double champs. Since, you are The People’s Champ and he is US Champ. That’s an intimidating team. Doozer: Damn right. We are gonna kick their ass. The Dude: May I inform you both that they retired? Doozer: Damn, they are so little, I didn’t even know. The Dude: Well, maybe if you didn’t have your head way up your ass, you would’ve known.**runs like hell** (The private jet lands somewhere in Japan. Doozer, The Dude, The Cameraman, and Slim Shady unload from the jet and get into another limo. It drives off.)
The Dude: I’m hungry. Limo Driver: There is a McDonald’s down yonder. The Dude: Micky D’s, Micky D’s, Micky D’s. Can we go there? Please? Doozer: If it will shut you up, then yes. We’ll go to McDonald’s. Let’s go through the Drive Through. (The limo is at the part of the drive through when you order the food. They seem to have trouble reading the Japanese words, but they already know what they want. Slim Shady: I’d like a Big Mac cause I am The Big Mac. The Dude: Well, my mommy used to tell me that you are what you eat. Slim Shady: Oh, shut up. Japanese Order Taking Guy: Sishong ado nina petaway. Slim Shady: No, I said a Big Mac. Japanese Order Taking Guy: **a new guy** Velly velly goo. Bi Moc. Slim Shady: You calling me a bi? Huh, bitch? You wanna go? Let’s go, right here, right now. (Slim Shady runs out of the limo and goes into McDonalds and finds the order taking guy and beats the living hell out of him with brass knuckles on. He gets out of there and walks back into the limo.) Slim Shady: He won’t call me a bi now. Another Japanese Order Taking Guy(Speaks Better English) Okay, I got Big Moc. The Dude: I’d like a Happy Meal. Japanese Order Taking Guy: Okay, Hoppy Meel. The Dude: You saying I’m some kinda rabbit that likes Hoppy Meals? Huh, Order Taking Guy? (The Dude walks into McDonalds and finds the Order Taking Guy. The Dude goes to punch him, but the Order Taking Guy blocks the punch and beats The Dude up. The Dude walks back bruised to the limo.) The Dude: I won’t fight him again. Doozer: And I’d like a Two Cheeseburger Meal. Japanese Order Taking Guy: Okie, Big Moc an’ Hoppy Meel an’ Two Chiesebugar Meal. Doozer: You saying that I like to eat Cheesebugars? You saying I like to eat Bugars? You are wrong, dead wrong….bitch. (Doozer walks into McDonalds and finds the order taking guy and beats him up. The Dude comes in after Doozer goes back into the limo and stands over the order taking guy. He comes back to conciseness and sees The Dude standing over him. The Dude: I let you beat me up last time, snoody poo. How’d you like that beating? Huh, President of Poopy? (The Dude walks back into the limo with more bruises.) Doozer: What happened, I had him beat up and you come back like that. The Dude: Well, after I called him The President of Poopy, he kicked me in the junk and beat me up pretty bad. (The limo heads towards where Yojin Musahiri is.) Doozer: You are pathetic, Dude. Hey, we are there. Look, there is Yojin. Do you see him, Mr. People’s Title? (The limo stops at where Yojin is, he is showing off his Lightweight Title to the people. Yojin Musahiri: And here is the very nice inscription of my name on the big plate in the front. Yes, it’s very nice, I know. Doozer: Oh, that belt is jack sh(censored) compared to mine. **doozer shows his People’s Title** Yeah, this is the People’s Championship. Since I have it, that means I represent you people. I am your Champion. Crowd: Ohhhhhh, velly good. Yojin Musahiri: Hey, Doozer, this guy just came up to me and asked where he could find a donut. (Doozer goes and tackles the guy and starts punching him right in the face as hard as he can. While he is beating the hell out of the guy, Slim Shady walks up to Yojin Musahiri.) Slim Shady: Did he really ask you for a donut with Doozer standing right there? Yojin Musahiri: Yeah, he sure as hell did. Slim Shady: I’m not as dumb as I look. I know you are lying to me. Yojin Musahiri: Well, actually he asked where he could find some medical attention. Slim Shady: **laughing his ass off** He’s gonna need some medical attention after Doozer is done with him. (Doozer hears this is instantly jumps off the guy. Doozer dusts the guy off walks towards Slim Shady, The Dude, and Yojin Musahiri.) Doozer: Here, guy, take this please and don’t like get mad or anything. Remember, I’m your champion. (Doozer hands him a full body poster of himself that looks like this…)
Doozer: Yojin, we gotta go. I can’t get arrested in Japan as the People’s Champion. Keep Cool, Yojin. Yojin Musahiri: Hey, go quickly there are some cops. (A cop sees Doozer and Slim Shady he points his finger at them. Slim Shady and Doozer point a finger back at them, but it’s not the index or pinky or ring or thumb, it’s the one you stick up when you don’t give a fu(censored) and they run into the car and drive off towards Slim Shady’s private jet along with The Cameraman and The Dude.) Slim Shady: Good going, Doozer. Some People’s Champion you are. You really represent the people. Especially when you beat the living hell out of that guy who wanted medical attention. Doozer: Hey, lay off. I thought he wanted a donut. You would’ve beaten the sh(censored) out of a guy who wants a donut too. You know this. The Dude: Yeah, you like totally made an idiot of yourself back there. Slim Shady and Doozer: You make an idiot of yourself everywhere.
(The limo finally arrives where Slim Shady’s private jet is and they all get on it. They get on their way back to the United States and to the arena. After a lot of arguing and stuff like that the jet finally arrives at an airport that is not far from the arena. They get a ride to the arena and The Cameraman goes off because it’s his break. The Dude heads towards the bathroom and Slim Shady goes to the women’s locker room. Doozer makes his way towards the gorilla position. Then, the lights go off. The color of red starts to flicker about the stands as the song "ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL pt.2" by Pink Floyd plays and Doozer makes his way to the ring wearing a Nomar Garciaparra Jersey and an official Boston Red Sox Hat. Under his jersey is a T-Shirt labeled "BORN BUFF" and as he gets into the ring the words RED SOX RULE appear on the mat. As he turns his hat backwards, red fireworks blast out of each turnbuckle.) Don Harvone: Well, it seems like Doozer has had quite a day. He has beaten the hell out of a guy that just wanted medical attention and he caught up with Yojin Musahiri. What he failed to tell Yojin Musahiri was that he had a temporary tag team partner for the time that Yojin was gone. That temporary tag team partner of Doozer’s is Jack, The Poser, Harding. Yes, Jack Harding, the United States Champion is temporarily teaming with the People’s Champion, Doozer. I wonder what Yojin will do if they win the tag team belts. Jerry: He’s a pansy, he probably won’t even dare to do anything. You know who is even more of a pansy than Yojin? The Dude is. He is the biggest pansy I know. He couldn’t even beat up an Order Taking guy at McDonald’s. You can’t get much weaker than that. Also, I don’t think Yojin is gonna hafta worry about Doozer and Jack Harding winning the tag team belts anyway. They are both losers in my book. They can’t win the tag team belts with the newest tag team, Dazz and Extremist, out there going for the belts. JW: Everybody is a loser in your book. Also, I wonder how Doozer feels about Extremist now. I mean, Doozer had been trying to get Dazz to be his tag team partner for a long time now. Then, Dazz just goes off and tags with Extremist. I think the excuse was because people in the back told Dazz that Doozer was not trustable. Now, Extremist is giving up his title, that Doozer gave him. I mean, Doozer must be livid. Doozer: The Dooze is in the houuuuuuuuuuuuse and he’s ready to RAISE some HELL and DO some DAMAGE. That’s right… ("BIG BALLS" by Ac/Dc plays as The Dude makes his way to the ring wearing an official Boston Red Sox Hat along with a Pedro Martinez Jersey. Under that Jersey is a T-Shirt labeled "Geanious at Werk" with Genius and Work spelled wrong. The Dude makes his way to the ring greeting Doozer.) The Dude: The Dude is in da houuuuuuuuse and he’s ready to RAISE some HAIRS, on your neck, and DO some STUFF!!! Doozer: That’s right, you’re lookin’ at The Innovation of Devastation, the Master of Disaster, along with The Proclamation of Constipation, the men, the myths, the legends, the two, the only, The Dudacious Duo. The Dude: But, we aren’t a tag team or anything, we just like The Name!!! Doozer: Now, I got some pretty screwed up things going on. I got a guy named Extremist who just comes in and gets Dazz to be his tag team partner after months of me asking Dazz. Then, Dazz told me that he didn’t want to tag with me because some people told him that I would turn on him. That’s a bunch of bullsh(censored). A lot of people know here that I would give up my People’s Title to be in the same stable as Dazz. Then, Extremist turns around and is giving up the Novice Title. The same Novice Title that I gave him. The same Novice Title that he named Doozer. He’s just tossing it away. Now, I said I wouldn’t do this, but I don’t care about this belt really. Yeah, I love you people, my fans. But, I this belt is too low for me. I tried to get it back up and out of the dumpster by only letting people that are ranked higher than me get a title shot, but no one that is ranked higher than me wants a shot at this belt. Well, I guess I’ll just have to admit that this belt is beyond saving. There is no hope for this title. So, I will most likely give away this belt to my next opponent. I will venture off for a higher belt, such as the Heavyweight Title or you might even see Doozer fighting for the Dream Championship. So, in a way. I am giving up my People’s Title so I can fight you, Dazz. I was gonna give it up to be with you, but now it is to face you. Oh, and Extremist. You said how you owed me one and you’d do anything to get me the title that I wanted. Well, I don’t want to split up you and Dazz. Actually, that’s not the reason that I do not want your help. It is because I think you suck. I don’t want your help. I don’t want anything from you. Our friendship is over as of right now. You here me? But, right now I am scheduled to have a match versus Kyle TFT Corrigan. TFT, what is that supposed to stand for? The Filthy Trucker? No, maybe it stands for The Fat Twinky. 'Cause you are what you eat. Maybe it is Tiny Fingered Tiddlywinker. Don't even ask. Could it be Trucking for Tennessee? Anyways, let's get off of the stupid ass name.So, Extremist and Dazz stay away from the little boys. They don’t like to get it up the butt all the time. You guys can go be a tag team as two Packers at The Fudge Factory or Beaters at The Meat Factory. But, to all you cool cats out there….KEEP COOL and KICK ASS. ‘Cause winning might not be everything, but LOSING SUCKS ASS!!!! The Dude: Yeah, it’s not fun to lose either. Don Harvone: Well, it seems like Doozer doesn’t want anything to do with the People’s Title or Extremist. This is looking to form into a great feud between Extremist and Doozer. I wonder how Kyle The Freight Train Kalligan will reply to this trash talking of Doozer's. Anyone who is facing Doozer must realize that no matter who you are, even if you are his tag team partner, that once you are signed in a match versus him. You are his enemy and he will attack you, not just verbily, but physically too. Jerry: I think Doozer is just trying to intimidate Kyle before the match so that Kyle might not fight it. Doozer is really just all talk. He couldn't hurt a fly. So what, he has beaten a few big names here. Yeah, he drove out a very good upcoming superstar, The Mutha Bleepin A-Train, but that was nothin. JW: I think you are underestimating Doozer. He did retire The Mutha Bleepin A-Train. He was a very good newcomer to the DWF. He almost beat Doozer, but he ended up quiting after the loss. Doozer: Now, Frieght Train. I just want you to know that I was the one who beat A-Train and then he left. Yeah, I have already de-railed one Train. Don't think I can't de-rail a Freight Train. So, Now I am really going to go. For real. Keep Cool. Don Harvone: Well, It seems like Doozer is finally goin to leave. Bye all. ("ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL pt.2" by Pink Floyd plays as Doozer and The Dude make their way backstage leaving a sold out crowd reacting to all this with mixed emotions.)
