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Journal Entry #12 in "Doozer's Journal!!!" |
**Warning**: I have Dusty's Permission to use Dusty in this Journal Entry!!! I have Dusty's Permission to use 'The Dark and Demented' Dusty in this roleplay. Cast For Journal Entry(Their Name Will Be Their Color for this Entry): Dear Journal, (-{2}-) Yet, before I get too far along in my day, I’ll start off in the morning. Well, my morning was that of any regular morning. Nothing special happened except for me burning the bacon, blaming it on the oven, and throwing a plate out the window. Other than that little fit that I threw, my morning went on like usual. Today I wore my black ‘Born Buff’ T-shirt along with a pair of baggy khakis, my orange Nike shoes, and my official Boston Red Sox hat on backwards. I decided to get over to the studio as quickly as possible before anything bizarre happened. So, I walked out of and locked my house as I made my way to the garage. I opened up the garage’s electric doors with the remote control that I carry around with me. I didn’t even decide to walk over to Dusty’s house and get him because I knew right where he would be and I was correct. (-{2}-) (-{3}-) Just as I had thought, Dusty’s big figure slowly took shape as the garage doors opened further and further to reveal him from his feet up. I wasn’t as mind-boggled as I had been the past couple days about the fact that Dusty knows when I am going to call him over to my house and how he would always appear inside my garage or wherever I wanted him to be before I even told him that I wanted him there. So, I just greeted him in the normal way, which is usually just the nod of my head and he waved his dork-like way back to me to acknowledge my greeting. Then, we moved to our places with such smoothness and flawlessness that you would have thought we had practiced this a million times. Well, it’s not like we practiced it, but every-time we go out in my Ford Escape, we do the exact same drill. (-{3}-) (-{4}-) I motion to him to get into the SUV, he opens his door and hops into the passenger seat. Then, I open my door, hop into the driver seat, stick the keys in the ignition, start up the car, and blast out of my driveway. Yes; for the first time in a long time, I was able to exit my driveway without something strange and unusual taking place. Then, about thirty minutes down the road, I pulled into The Dude’s driveway to go and get him for the show. I parked my Ford Escape in front of the right-hand garage door, which happened to be closed. Then, I turned my car off, hopped out of it, and casually made my way over to The Dude’s front door. I took the three steps up his white porch and there I was. From there, I used the little, gold-plated knocker thing and knocked at The Dude’s door. (-{4}-) (-{5}-) The door was answered, as usual, by kind woman who has to look after The Dude. If you didn’t know already, she has to look after The Dude because he escaped the mental hospital and refused to go back, so they made a deal. Well, for you rather slow people, the deal was that The Dude could stay at his house and live there as long as he was under the supervision of the gentle young woman. This woman was pretty hot too, so I wouldn’t have had a problem agreeing to those terms. The young woman recognized me the second she answered the door, so without hesitation, she fetched The Dude. Within a moment or two, The Dude was walking out the door waving good-bye to the woman. Then, The Dude took a seat in the back, while Dusty took his passenger seat and I took my drivers seat. (-{5}-) (-{6}-) I started up the car and backed out of the driveway and back onto the road. I always have to listen to music while on the road, so I took out my CD’s, chose the new Limp Bizkit CD called The Chocolate Starfish and Hot Dog Flavored Water, and popped it into the CD player. From there, I turned the bass up to max and turned the volume up as well. With the music blasting some good tunes out from the CD, it only seemed like two short minutes before we were at the studio. Like I have told you before, the studio hadn’t changed much, if at all, since the time when we used to tape Doozer Television back in the day. The Dude, Dusty, and I quickly unloaded from the Ford Escape and entered the studio. To our surprise, Mr. Salami and his crew of cameramen were already all set up to shoot the next episode of Doozer Television. (-{6}-) (-{7}-) I swear that you could feel, smell, taste, hear, and even see the excitement in the air. This was big. No, this was more than big. This was the come-back of the best TV Show of all time. This was the come-back of Doozer Television! If you didn’t notice before, then I will point this little fact out to all of you. Do you know those two Sunday Night Slaughter’s that actually had Doozer Television airing on them? Well, the first Sunday Night Slaughter with Doozer Television broke it’s ratings record. Then, the second Sunday Night Slaughter with Doozer Television broke the record that the last one set! Then, the next few Sunday Night Slaughter’s without Doozer Television on them didn’t break shit. That show’s you something about DTV right there. Anyway, everybody seemed to be read, the set was ready, and the three of us were ready. So, without much more than a minute or two of hesitation, we started up with the show… (-{7}-) (-{8}-) Then, I heard the best song in the world play as "The Next Episode" by Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg blasted over our p. a. system. I saw on a television monitor behind the crew that clips of myself winning the United States Title and defending it were shown as well as myself winning the Lightweight Title as The Masked Man and later revealing the Masked Man to be Doozer. Then, more clips were shown like those of me winning the Dream Title and those of past Doozer Television episodes. Then, I saw one of the men in the crew doing the countdown with his fingers. He was at three, two, one, and then he suddenly pointed at me which told me that we were now officially on the air. I looked into the camera with a smile of being directly where I belonged and I just let the sweet words unravel from my tongue. (-{8}-)
:{=-(Really)-=}:The Dude{=-(Stupid)-=}: The Dude had the same smile that had the same meaning to it as I wore at that very same time. He knew what to say and even if he didn’t, he’d say something because he was on Doozer Television. "That’s right, folks. The Dooze, Dusty, and myself will be hosting your favorite television show, D-T-V!"
:{=-(Fat)-=}:Dusty:{=-(Ass)-=}: Dusty didn’t seem as comfortable on the air as The Dude and I were. There is a logical reason for that. The Dude and I had been hosting Doozer Television for quite a while. Well, at least we had hosted it for quite a while. Yet, Dusty hadn’t been on the show a lot, so this was new to him. "Yes Dude, that is correct." He was trying desperately to not seem like an idiot, but he was failing. "I am Dusty and I have to go to the bathroom."
:{=-(The)-=}:Doozer:{=-(Dooze)-=}: I tried to ignore Dusty. I didn’t want to have to make fun of him like I wanted desperately to do because he was already nervous enough. Plus, if I were to make fun of him, it would make him self conscious and he would screw up even more. So, I made a joke of what he said to make it seem like we set it up. "Well, you should just pee your pants."
:{=-(The)-=}:The Dude:{=-(Dude)-=}: I don’t think that Dusty knew what I was getting at, but The Dude sure did. "Yeah. You know because you ain't cool unless you pee your pants."
:{=-(Like)-=}:The Dude:{=-(That)-=}: The Dude couldn’t help to laugh at that statement because The Dude knew that Dusty meant for it to seem like Barney was cool and he peed his pants a lot. Yet, the exact opposite of that happened. "Yeah, good call Dusty."
:{=-(Keep)-=}:Doozer:{=-(Cool)-=}: I just finished my little jolt of laughter and I decided that I would speak up in my own show. Well, I didn’t have anything to say, so I made up some late-breaking news. "Well, Dude, I have just received some late breaking news from our men down south."
:{=-(Bum)-=}:Dusty:{=-(Bum)-=}: Dusty grew a confused look on his face and now that he was loosening up a little, he felt free to speak what was on his mind. "We have people down south?"
:{=-(And)-=}:The Dude:{=-(Stuff)-=}: The Dude slapped Dusty in the back of the head and let out a little chuckle. "Of course we have people down south, moron!" The Dude held out his arms as if it was absurd to even ask the question. "All the big news people have people all over the place."
:{=-(Dooze You)-=}:Doozer:{=-(Abuse You)-=}: I didn’t really know if The Dude was speaking the truth, but it was better than acting like I didn’t know like Dusty had just done. So, I went with The Dude. "Yeah, all of the big news places." I hesitated for just a moment, then continued on. "Anyway, the late breaking news." I had a pile of papers in front of me, just for looks, and I pretended to read the one on the top. "Mike Extreme is going to kick Doozer’s ass this Sunday on Slaughter."
:{=-(The)-=}:Doozer:{=-(Man)-=}: Like I said, I was trying to figure out where Mr. Salami was so I was giving the answers that I always give when I am not paying attention. "Yeah, sure."
:{=-(The)-=}:The Dude:{=-(Dudester)-=}: The Dude laughed hysterically for a moment or two, then calmed himself down to ask another question. "Doozer, do you take it up the ass?"
:{=-(The)-=}:Doozer:{=-(Myth)-=}: Again, I wasn’t paying attention to the questions that The Dude was asking me at that moment. "Why not?"
:{=-(Poo)-=}:Dusty:{=-(Head)-=}: Dusty even caught on to this trend and he too laughed for quite some time. Then, Dusty decided that he was going to join in on the fun. "Doozer, do you like to cover your private area with peanut-butter and have your dog lick it off?"
:{=-(The)-=}:Doozer:{=-(Legend)-=}: Still, my idiotic self was giving my involuntary answers as I tried to find Mr. Salami or at least narrow down a couple places where he could be. "You bet."
(-{12}-) Then, he looked to see how the three of us were doing and he saw us all laughing as hard as possible while we were on the air. Mr. Salami’s face became beet red. His eyes bulged and he threw a fit behind the crew. He making wild gestures that said, ‘What the hell are you guys doing?" Yet, neither one of the three of us could see him because we were laughing so hard that our eyes were all closed and watery. Mr. Salami then took out a pen from inside his jacket pocket and threw it at me. He threw it with dead aim and it hit me directly in the forehead. I came back to my normal self all out of breath from laughing so hard and noticed how angry Mr. Salami happened to be at the time. Then, I noticed that on top of that he was giving me the ‘cut’ sign which signaled to me that I had to end the show fairly quickly now. (-{12}-) :{=-(I’m)-=}:The Dude:{=-(Retarded)-=}: The Dude had also finished laughing and decided to help me end off the show. "And I’m The Dude..."
:{=-(He’s)-=}:Dusty:{=-(Dusty)-=}: Dusty slowly climbed up his seat from the spot at which he had fallen. He eventually got up and sat on his seat. He looked into the camera and out of the corner of his eye he saw The Dude and I laughing, but he didn’t know why. Well, Dusty had piss all over the right side of his face from where he fell into it, but he didn’t know, so he ended off too. "And I’m Dusty…"
:{=-(Dusty, The Dude)-=}:The Three of Us In Unison:{=-(And Doozer)-=}: We all knew that we each wanted to say the same exact thing, so we gave each other a look and then looked into the camera and ended off in unison. "And this is Doozer Television! Keep Cool and Keep Watching for the next show!"
Sincerely, 
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