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Journal Entry #13 in "Doozer's Journal!!!" |
**Warning**: I have Dusty's Permission to use Dusty in this Journal Entry!!! I have Dusty's Permission to use 'The Dark and Demented' Dusty in this roleplay. Cast For Journal Entry(Their Name Will Be Their Color for this Entry): Dear Journal, (-{2}-) So, they got all mad because the show was live and they didn’t have a chance to censor it and they decided that they weren’t going to let us air on their station again. I mean; just because they got a few *cough* hundred *cough* letters about how the parents were disgraced with MTV like never before and how they weren’t ever going to watch it again, the MTV guys kicked us off the air! It really takes a lot of nerve to do something like that. Can you imagine how many hate mails they must be getting from Doozer fans all over the world? Well, I’ll tell you right now that it is definitely too many to count. Anyway, I’ll tell you how my day went today. Other than the fact that we were only one show into Doozer Television and already go kicked off, we ended up having an alright day. (-{2}-) (-{3}-) If you look at it in an overall type of way, it wasn’t that bad. Today, Dusty, The Dude, and I decided to hang out for a while. We didn’t do much really. Well, if you consider visiting Extremist in the hospital and sexually harassing him while he is in a coma not much. So, since the bulk of the day started when we visited Extremist, I guess I will just up and start off telling you about my day right there. Like I said, The Dude, Dusty, and I pulled into the parking lot of one of Boston’s many Hospitals. I found a spot that was labeled ‘Handicapped’ and I parked there. Who is handicapped in my car? Come on; that is an easy question! Dusty is mentally retarded and that definitely counts as a handicap last time I checked. (-{3}-) (-{4}-) Also, handicapped parking places are the closest to the Hospital. Plus, as long as Dusty is with me, I am going to keep on parking in those spots and there is nothing that the dirty coppers can do about it. Well, they could repossess my car and send it off to the impound, but those pesky porkers are smarter than that. They know that if they even touch my car or even look at it in the wrong way, then I will put my size thirteen boot up their fat asses. See, I can do things like that because I am The Dooze! Anyway, back to my day. I slowly hopped out of the drivers seat and landing with both feet on the newly paved parking lot. After Dusty and The Dude both unloaded themselves from the car, I locked it up and we walked towards the Hospital. (-{4}-) (-{5}-) Now, if anybody knows me like I know me, then they would know that I absolutely hate hospitals. I mean; everything about hospitals freak me out. I don’t know why, I just haven’t had many good encounters with hospitals. I remember back as a kid when I was visiting my Grandmother after she had surgery I encounter the weirdest shit I have ever encountered. I mean; I have had some pretty damn freaky dreams and I have watched some movies that used to give me nightmares for weeks. Yet, those movies and those dreams just don’t compare to the times that I spend whenever I go to a hospital. It doesn’t even matter what hospital. Right now, I will share with you the time that I had when I visited my Grandmother at our local hospital. So here’s the story without any further delay… (-{5}-)
(-{6}-) Alright, I was a teenager around the age of thirteen. My Grandmother had just got done with lung surgery or something, I can’t remember. Anyway, I was with my Dad. We were in our Ford Explorer and my Dad parked in the handicapped parking spot that was nearest to the hospital. Like father like son, I guess. Anyway, his reason for doing this was that he would always say that I was a mentally retarded child and like he said, I would act mentally retarded. Also, if I do say so myself, I was damn good at being mentally retarded. Nobody was a better fake retard than The Dooze at age thirteen. Anyway, I followed my dad through the main waiting area, which always gave me the chills when I had to wait for some kind of appointment. Well, we went from there into the main hall. While walking down the main hall, I heard some moaning and groaning that you would not believe. (-{6}-) (-{7}-) You know how in the horror movies, they have some people moan and groan sometimes, well this shit made those movies seem like Barney. I mean; this was some hardcore moaning and groaning. The first time I heard it, I didn’t even know if it was a human making those sounds. I couldn’t believe that the hospital would have people aching that badly. I mean; don’t we go to the hospital to get all better. Well, these people seemed like they were getting worse and worse. Not only was I pissed off at the hospital, but what about the person’s family? I mean; the ones that were in really bad shape didn’t seem to have any visitors, which really pissed me off. Anyway, I’ll get back to the story now. My dad was leading me up the main hallway where he took a left at room 198. (-{7}-) (-{8}-) There, in the bed furthest from the door and next to the window laid my Grandmother. Her real name is Inez Lavigne, but I just call her Grammy. Well, she looked like she was doing good after the surgery, even though she didn’t touch the hospital food. Yet, could you blame a person for not touching that food? I know for one thing that hospital food tastes like shit! I’m not talking about the kind of shit that tastes good, either. Not like I eat shit or anything. Let’s just get back to the story now. My dad and I were visiting my Grammy. Well, my dad was visiting her. I would just nod my head and say a few words every now and then because I was totally distracted by the moaning and groaning that I could still hear from quite a ways away from the person making it. (-{8}-) (-{9}-) Well, it wasn’t too long and my Grammy had another visitor. It happened to be one of my Grammy’s best friends while they were kids. What makes it even more ironic, it was The Dude’s Grandmother. Her name was Bert Bradford. Anyway, this old lady had a serious problem. I forgot what the name of the disease is, but it’s when you think you are in a totally different place than where you actually are and stuff. It was just plain old freaky. See, the first words she said to my Grammy were, "Inez, do you want to go down to my basement and see the changes I have made to it now?" I mean; I don’t think that I have ever been more freaked out in my life. She wanted my Grammy to go down in her basement with her and check out what she had changed to it when they were in the hospital. (-{9}-) (-{10}-) The only thing that came to my mind was that she must have thought that she was in her house. Well, the next few words proved me to be correct as she said, "Or we can just stay up here in the kitchen and make a cake." Stay up in the kitchen and make some cake? I was getting more uncomfortable with every minute Bert was there. Yet, my Grammy was nice and just told her that they would do it some other time. After that, Bert said how that would be good and she waved good-bye. Well, she had a hard time getting out of the room. Her wheelchair got stuck between a wall and an open closet door. My dad walked over to help her out and as he got her unstuck, she left while saying, "Sometimes I think I’m bigger than I really am and sometimes I think I’m smaller." (-{10}-) (-{11}-) I know it would seem really mean to laugh and everything, but I was having a really hard time keeping my chuckles inside me at those words. I mean; that was just a little to far out there for me. I couldn’t bear it. At first I was scared out my skin, but then as I re-heard the words in my mind, it was funny. Well, as my dad and myself said our good-byes to Grammy, we slowly walked out of the room. Then, to cap off the trip with more laughter and more freakiness, I turned my head while walking by room 173 to see an old lady in a wheelchair. I was walking, so I didn’t see much, but it was enough. I saw the lady holding her thumb in pain and then as she was out of my sight, but I heard her say, "Aw, that was my good thumb." (-{11}-) (-{12}-) My dad heard that too and almost at the same time, we were both smiling and with clenched jaws, we were trying to hold our laughs in. Well, we exited the Hospital and the second we did it was like Laugh-Fest ’99. We couldn’t stop laughing. Yet, just when we were about to stop laughing, I would say in an old lady type of voice, "That was my good thumb." With that said over and over, my dad and I didn’t stop laughing for the rest of the ride home. Well, that’s my story about my freaky encounter with the Hospital people. You probably don’t think it was freaky at all. I mean; it probably doesn’t seem anywhere as close to freaky as it really was just by reading it. But, if you were they, you would’ve been freaked out. Alright, so now it’s time to go back to the what happened at the hospital when The Dude, Dusty, and I went to visit Extremist. (-{12}-)
(-{13}-) Now that I have told you about one of the main reasons why I do not enjoy hospitals, I’ll go back to how my day went. The three of us entered the hospital and as The Dude and Dusty waited off in the main waiting area, I walked up to the main desk. I asked the desk-woman where Anthony Giorgetti was and she told me that he was in room 236. So, I turned around and motioned towards The Dude and Dusty telling them to get their asses over to where I was. I told them to follow me and they did so. We didn’t walk for that much longer, maybe a minute or two, and we were there. We were standing directly outside room 236. I opened the door slowly and walked in with Dusty and The Dude following behind me. The three of us stopped in front of the bed closest to the door in shock and horror. (-{13}-) (-{14}-) It was empty and all made up like someone had just been put out of it. I cried out, "Why God? Why Extremist?" Dusty had already started crying and to be truthful, The Dude and I were on the verge when I saw something move behind the curtain that separated the bed that we were at and the other bed. Suddenly, a Doctor popped his head out of the curtain and looked at the three of us. He looked sorry for us and said that Mr. Bolman had lived a good life. I looked at him in a confused manner and asked, (-{15}-) Then, with one quick motion, the doctor threw back the curtain and there laid a man who was like a brother to me, The Extremist! I was so happy that I gave the motionless man a huge hug. Dusty just stood in his spot and started to clap his hands like a five hundred pound retard. The Dude just acted like a tough guy and he talked about how he wasn’t going to cry. I said hey to Extremist and started waving my hand in front of his eyes, but I noticed that he wasn’t waking up. So, I started to slap him across the face in a light manner, but he still didn’t wake up. So, I walked back outside the room and read what was on the little papers that hung from the wall beside the door. It said that Extremist was in a coma. (-{15}-) (-{16}-) I slowly walked back into the room in a sad manner and I realized that he was in a coma. Then, I grew a devilish smile that stretched from one ear to the next. I told The Dude to run out to the car and get a camera. I told The Dude to also get the prank dildo that we use to gross guys out in the locker room and stuff. The Dude ran out of the room and in just five minutes, he was back with both items. I took the camera from the Dude as well as the dildo. I was going to repay Extremist for doing the humiliating stuff to me while I was in my wheelchair. So, I took the dildo and stuck the tip of it in Extremist’s mouth. Then, I held the camera up and backed off about ten or so steps. (-{16}-) (-{17}-) Then, I started taking picture after picture while saying, "Let’s go Extremist… Give me love… That’s good… Now show me angry!" The Dude took his hands and made Extremist lips curl so he looked angry and I took some more pictures. After another couple of pictures, I was done. I decided that I would keep the camera and use it as blackmail against Extremist. In the meantime, I didn’t have anything else to do. So, I told Dusty and them that we should go now. Yet, before we did, the doctor guy from before came in with some pieces of paper and some crayons. He told us that Extremist would probably love it if the three of us were to draw pictures for him or at least write notes. Well, I agreed that Extremist would like that a lot and I waved towards the doctor and smiled as he walked out of the room and closed the door. (-{17}-) (-{18}-) The second he left, I started to fold my paper this way and that. I took the green crayon and colored the piece of paper green. Then, I took another piece of paper, ripped off just a sliver and colored it red. I made the green one into a hat and I taped the red one to the hat to make it look like a feather. I placed the hat on Extremist’s head and then took another piece of paper. I just put words on this one though and the words read, ‘Big Pimp.’ The three of us had a good laugh over it and walked out of the room. We walked down the hallway and back into the main waiting area where I saw this hot nurse bending down to get some dropped papers. I saw my chance and I took it like any other sane man would take it. (-{18}-) (-{19}-) I walked right up behind her and slapped her ass. The slap almost echoed in the room and she stood straight up instantly. Then, like the three little boys that we are, The Dude, Dusty, and I each ran away laughing. The three of us jumped into my Ford Escape. I jumped into the drivers seat, Dusty into the passenger seat, and The Dude into the back seat. Then, I put the keys in the ignition, started up my car, and sped off and out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell. The three of us sped off down the main road and took a left into the road that leads to my house. It didn’t take more than five minutes and we were already at The Dude’s house. I dropped him off and watched him as he walked towards his house. (-{19}-) (-{20}-) His supervisor lady, who is really hot, was watering the flowers. The Dude saw this and he turned back, towards the car to look at me, and he gave me a signal which told me to watch him. He tip-toed over towards the supervisor and slapped her ass. He started to laugh, but he forgot to run and she caught him with a huge knee directly to the genitals. I wouldn’t be surprised if she busted one, if not both, of The Dude’s nuts. Well, The Dude looked up to me from outside the car in pain and I waved and smiled at him while I backed the car out of his driveway and back onto the road. Soon enough, I was back at my house and Dusty and I were out of my car. I said good-bye to him and he replied with the same words as he walked off towards his house. (-{20}-) (-{21}-) Yet, he didn’t make it the whole way without doing something stupid. There are tall bushes that separates his property from mine and he forgot that he had recently put up a wooden wall on his side and well it seemed like it hurt. Yeah; right as he turned his head towards his house after waving good-bye towards me, he smashed face-first directly into the wooden wall. It sent him back a few steps, then he brushed himself off and tried to act as if no one had seen what happened. I laughed for a while and shook my head in that ‘God my friend is an idiot’ type of way as I entered my house. Well, that pretty much brings you to where I am right now. I am sitting in front of my computer typing away my day and now I am done. (-{21}-) (-{22}-) All I have left to say is that I have a match against ‘Made of Steel’ Keith O’neil. Well, he thinks he has a chance against me just because he defeated Dusty last week. He just doesn’t know who I am and this Sunday on Slaughter, I will show him what The Dooze is all about. Plus, the match is a first blood match. I mean; this guy asked for a match against me and with the first blood stipulation on top of it just because I wouldn’t let him cut in front of me in the snack-bar line. I think Keith has a death wish. So, coming this Sunday, Keith, I’m going to Dooze You, Abuse You, and make you bleed! Yet, for now, I am going to go brush my teeth and all that good stuff then I’m going to call it a day and go to sleep. Until next time… (-{22}-) Keep Cool, 
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