Doozer: It says…, "I’ve finally came to my decision. It’s done. We got the match. Now, it’s all up to us. We have to beat them. We can beat them. This is our chance."

The Dude: Who was that from?

Doozer: I have no clue.

Slim Shady: Well, this is what it seems like. You got a match with someone. This is a big match. It’s against someone that you can beat. You have to beat them.

Doozer: No sh(censored) Sherlock.

The Dude: It sounds like a tag team match. Is it with Yojin Muchadaka?

Doozer: No, Yojin would’ve just come over and told me.

(Someone knocks on the door. Doozer opens it and some weird ass guy gives him a box. Doozer takes the box over to where he was sitting and opens it. He brings it out of the box. It is a Black Jacket with silver words embroidered on the back. The words spell out… "BAD ASSES IN BLACK!!!")

The Dude: There, I was right. You and Yojin are The Bad Asses in Black, right?

Doozer: Yeah, that’s us. I wonder why Yojin didn’t just come over.

(All of a sudden someone bursts through the door. It’s Yojin Musahiri.)

Yojin Musahiri: I heard that you didn’t quit after all. That’s cool.

Doozer: Yeah, you got pretty mad at me. So, did you get us that tag team shot or what?

Yojin Musahiri: What are you talking about. I just got that Black Jacket for you. I didn’t sign no tag team match.

Slim Shady: What the hell? If it wasn’t you, then who did you get the tag team match with?

Doozer: I’m just as stumped as you, Slim. I want to know who I got this shot from so I can see if he is good or not.

Slim Shady: Yeah, I can understand that.

The Dude: What does it feel like to understand something?

Yojin Musahiri: He hasn't gotten any smarter. Some things just don't change.

Doozer: Nope, he'll always be a retard to the highest degree.

The Dude: The highest degree. Isn't that good?

Doozer: Not when you are talking about it in a negative way.

The Dude: Don't start with negative stuff. I still can't understand how something can be below zero. 'Cause I thought zero was the lowest and stuff.

Slim Shady: I think your IQ is below zero.

The Dude: I get that...I think. Hey, wait a minute! You were just making fun of me, weren't you? Oh, it doesn't take a rocket science guy person to figure that out.

Yojin Musahiri: They are called rocket scientists, retard. You are almost as stupid as that Dusty guy.

Doozer: Speaking of Dusty, he was the only wrestler to sign that weight losing sheet of mine. He's fat and retarded. Well, I might start that program tomorrow or something like that. Hey, Yojin. Did you see what that queer, Extremist, did to me?

Yojin Musahiri: What?

Doozer: Well, first off, he is taggin with Dazz. The guy who I was gonna tag with at first. He might of been the one who told Dazz that I would've turned on him. Then, he's talking about changing the name of the Novice Title from Doozer to Dazz. I think he wants to fight. He wants to go.

Yojin Musahiri: Maybe me and you should face Extremist and Dazz. It would be a really tough match. Oh, and what's up with all those tag teams I heard that you are a part of.

Doozer: Well, I am not taggin with anyone right now. I haven't had a tag team match yet. But, Jack Harding and Evolution also want to tag with me along with you. It's gonna be like this other federation when I was nicknamed The Man of a Million Stables, but this time it will be The Man of A Million Tag Teams.

Yojin Musahiri: Oh, ok. We got to get a tag team match pretty soon.

The Dude: Alright, I'm getting pretty bored now. What are we going to do today?

Doozer: Hey, I bet Thaila is getting pretty pissed off at us for never visiting her at the hospital. She is in the part with a bunch of old people. I bet she is going crazy there.

Slim Shady: Let's go see the bitch, then.

Doozer: Alright.

(Doozer, The Dude, Slim Shady, Yojin Musahiri, and The Cameraman all hop into the limo. The limo drives off towards the hospital.)

Slim Shady: So, how are we gonna do this. We gonna sneak in and take out some docters and then screw some nurses?

Doozer: I was thinking that we would casually walk into there, then say that we just want to visit Thaila. Then, we get in there and get her out of all that hospital sh(censored) and if some docters want to get in our way, then we will punch them out. But, no I'm not up for screwing any nurses. I got Thaila and she is good enough for me.

(The limo finally arrives at the Hospital. Doozer, The Dude, Slim Shady, Yojin, and The Cameraman all hop out of the limo and enter the hospital. They all huddle together and form a plan. Doozer punches Slim Shady right in the nose, giving him a bloody nose. Slim Shady walks up and stands in the line of hurt patients. The Dude walks into the bathroom. Yojin Musahiri follows Doozer up to the front desk.)

Slim Shady: I got a fu(censored)ing nose bleed here. It's pretty bad and I want some god damn attention. It might be broken you flaming fa(censored)ots!!

The Dude: **is groaning**

Doozer: Hello, Mr. Doctor guy, is there someway that I can go see Thaila?

Mr. Doctor Guy: Uh, let me see. She gave me a list of people that she wanted to visit her. If you are not on this list than you may not go see her.

(The Doctor gets out a list and goes through all the names.)

Mr. Doctor Guy: Is your name Ken?

Doozer: No, it's not Ken, damnit.

Mr. Doctor Guy: Is it Ryan or Steve or Stan or Frank?

Doozer: Who the flying fu(censored) are those guys? I don't know who the hell they are. I am Doozer, The People's Champion of the DWF. The Dream Wrestling Federation. You are some gay ass doctor. Now, let me go see Thaila, or your ass will be grass and my foot is a lawnmower. Now, are you gonna let me see her or not?

Mr. Doctor Guy: Uh, not.

Doozer: Well, I guess that is alright.

(Doozer turns around as if he is going to just walk away, but instead he comes right back at the doctor with a hard right hand right to the face. The Doctor is thrusted back against the wall where a bunch of needles inject into him. After a while, he falls down. Doozer and Yojin go up to the next Doctor at the front desk and ask for Thaila's room. The Doctor immediatly gives him the room number and Doozer and Yojin make their way up to the room. Once they get there instead of knocking, they punch holes in the door that are wide enough to fit an arm. Doozer puts his arm through the hole, finds the doorknob on the inside of the door and opens it. Thaila is on the bed scared out of her mind. Doozer and Yojin burst into the room and walk up to Thaila.)

Thaila: Oh, it's only you two. I thought someone was gonna come in here and hurt me. Why didn't you just knock?

Doozer: Who the hell are all these guys on your list?

Thaila: Hey, I don't know what that jack ass Doctor said, but you two and The Dude are the only guys on my list. He must of got them wrong.

(Doozer walks out of the room and back to the front desk. He gets the list of guys, they have their phone numbers right beside their name. Doozer takes it and brings it into Thaila's room. Doozer picks up the phone and calls the first name, Ken.)

Ken: Hello

Doozer: Hi, Ken. This is Doozer of the Dream Wrestling Federation.

Ken: You are Doozer? Wow, do you know how good your manager, Thaila, is in bed?

Doozer: That's what I thought(doozer hangs up the phone and turns to Thaila) So, I guess you have met Ken?

Thaila: Umm, I guess you could say that.

(Doozer looks to the next name on the list. It is Ryan. Doozer picks up the phone and calls him.)

Ryan: Yello

Doozer: Hey, what's up, Ryan? This is Doozer of the Dream Wrestling Federation and you've been banging my manager.

Ryan: Doozer, I am gay.

Doozer: If you are gay, then why are you banging my manager?

Ryan: I am here hair dresser. Geez, why don't you guys be more sensative some times. That might be the reason that she is making love with my brother. Ugh, guys these days.

Doozer: Alright...bye.(doozer hangs up and looks at Thaila) So, you are banging the queer's brother? That's really nice, Thaila. I don't even want to call Steve or Stand or Frank. It will be the same. God, no wonder why it didn't take you long to be my manager. I must of looked so fine, like usual, and your sl(censored)tty self just couldn't resist. Now come to visit you for the last time. Yeah, I might go out and find another manager or something or I'll just let The Dude and Slim Shady be my managers. Well, as you know. I did give some special treatment to Extremist while I visited him at the Hospital. Don't think you won't be any different.

(Doozer opens up his 'Bad Asses In Black' Jacket and takes out his People's Championship out from the inside of it. He holds it high, kisses it, then smacks Thaila right on the head with it. She falls off her bed and as she bleeds on the floor, Doozer and Yojin Musahiri just casually walk out of the room and they are met by The Dude and Slim Shady. A group of cops about 5 of them surround Doozer, The Dude, Yojin Musahiri, Slim Shady, and The Cameraman. Doozer lands a hard right hand to cop number one. Yojin dropkicks cop number two. The Dude drops to the ground and kicks cop number three many times in the balls, then he eventually stops kicking and bites his private area. Slim Shady takes out a can of mase and sprays cop number four with it many times.)

Slim Shady: How does it feel to be on the recieving end of the mase? That's what I thought.

(The Cameraman takes the camera and smacks cop number five with it right in the face. Doozer brings cop number one into a room. Doozer knocks the cop so he lands hardly on the floor on his back. Doozer climbs up on a bed and jumps off, does a flip in mid-air, and connects with his Somersault Legdrop that he likes to call The PESKY POLL!!! Yojin Musahiri brings cop number two into another room. He sets the bed on fire. Yojin kicks the cop in the gut and gets him into a powerbomb position, then he powerbombs him through a firey bed. The Dude brings cop number three into a bathroom. The Dude throws him up against the walls many times. The Dude takes the cop and slams his face right into the hand dryer thingy. The Dude takes the part on the hand dryer where the hot air comes out and sticks it in the third cop's mouth. The Dude turns it on and almost kills the cop with all of the hot air. The Dude smashes the third cop into a bathroom stall. The Dude takes cop number three's head and slams it into the toilet. The Dude takes his head and puts it deep into the toilet water. Then as the cop's head is in the water, The Dude flushes the toilet.)

The Dude: SWIRLEY!!! Hahahah, for the first time I'm giving out a swirley and not being given one. Now I know why they give out swirleys...It's fun!!!

(Cop number three punches The Dude right in the guy. Then smashes The Dude's head into the bathroom stall. Cop number three takes The Dude's head and puts it into the toilet water and flushes. Then, Doozer races into the bathroom and hits the cop in the head with the faucet of a sink. Doozer gets the dude back up. Cop number three is right in the middle of the bathroom. Yojin Musahiri gets two really high chairs and puts them on both sides of the room. Yojin goes over to the cop and picks him up, then powerbombs him right back down. Doozer and The Dude precede to do their old tag team special move called THE DUDACIOUS DOUBLE-TEAM!!! Doozer jumps off his chair and performs his PESKY POLL, while at the same time The Dude jumps off his chair and does his Swanton Bomb that he likes to call the DUDACIOUS DIVE!!! While all this is happening, Slim Shady is fighting with cop number five. Slim Shady had just finished spraying him with a can of mase and is now trash talking to the cop. While he is doing this, the cop blindly punches Shady in the head. He takes the mase and sprays it everywhere. Getting Shady right in the eyes. The cop takes out his Knife Stick and whacks at Shady without knowing what he is swinging at. Finally, the mase wears off of cop number four and he smacks Shady right in the face many times. Then, he takes out his gun, but Doozer comes up from behind and judo chops his arm. The gun goes flying into the air and Slim Shady catches it and fires at the cop blindly. After taking out three doctors who came over to help, Shady finally hits the cop in the leg. Then, he shoots down the cop's other leg. While all this is happening. The Cameraman is fighting with cop number five. After several camera shots to the head, cop number five is bleeding badly. The cop finally starts to fight back, but Yojin is there to hold back the cop. As Yojin holds him back, the cameraman gets ready to hit the helpless cop in the face with the camera again. As the cameraman swings with the camera, cop number five ducks and the cameraman smacks Yojin right in the face with the camera. Yojin shakes it off and chases the cameraman until he finally catches him. Yojin was ready to put him right throw the glass window, but Doozer refrained him from doing so. Doozer, The Dude, Yojin Musahiri, Slim Shady, and The Cameraman finally get done with the cops and walk back into the main lobby. While they are walking to the lobby, they see an old lady in a wheelchair. She is muttering something to herself. Yojin asks her to speak up a little and so she does.)

The Old Lady: Well, sometimes I feel smaller than I am and sometimes I feel bigger. Right now I am stuck right here in my wheelchair. I thought I was smaller than I am, but I guess not. Could you help me out?

Doozer: Not really, let's go.

(As they are walking towards the lobby, they spot another lady in a little bit of pain. It also seems like she is dissapointed. The Dude asks her what her problem is, so she speaks up.)

The Other Old Lady: Well, I hurt my thumb.

The Dude: What is so bad about that?

The Other Old Lady: It was my best thumb.

Doozer: What a physco. She belongs in this looney bin.

(As Doozer, The Dude, Yojin Musahiri, Slim Shady, and The Cameraman are walking to the lobbey, Doozer notices someone coughing badly and aching in pain. It is Extremist. Doozer makes an evil laugh and enters.)

Doozer: Hi, buddy. Let's go over exactly what happened on Saturday. Alright, they told you that they had brought you your best friend. So, I came in all smiley. Do you know why I was smiling? Simply because I had already planned out what I was goin to do to you. Then, what did I do. Hmm, I can't quite remember. Let me jog my memory.

(Doozer takes out his People's Championship and pelts Extremist right in the face with it.)

Doozer: Yep, that is what happened.

(Doozer leaves his old friend, Extremist, lying on his bed bleeding. Doozer, The Dude, Yojin Musahiri, and The Cameraman finally make it to the lobby and as they walk in, a bunch of mad people confront them and are all ready for a fight.)

Doozer: Damn people, can't you all see that we just got done a fight? We ain't ready for another one, but I'll tell you what I can do. Who wants some free Doozer posters? Huh, you all know that you want them. It is a fact of life that everyone wants my posters. You'd have to be retarded to not want this poster.

(Doozer gets out his posters and starts handing them out to everyone. They look a little like this.)

(After Doozer is done passing out his posters. Everyone seems to forgive him and Doozer, The Dude, Yojin Musahiri, and The Cameraman all walk out of the hospital that is full of people checking out Doozer's poster. They all hop into the limo and get on their way to the arena.)

Doozer: Wow, that was a close one. I thought I was gonna hafta fight some pretty pissed off patients. That would not have been good. Good thing I got these really good looking posters of mine. They have saved us on more than one instance now.

Slim Shady: Yeah, I guess they really saved us today. Hey, did you guys see that little thing that I did on Farmclub.com yesterday? Yeah, it was pretty sweet. I sang "The Way I Am" and then I sang one that was too bad for TV called "Sh(censored) On You!!!" That had like a swear every two or three seconds and it was still a kick ass song. They also had me spit out a few rhymes and show them the true gangsta walk. I was throwing my chairs all over man, it was kick ass.

Yojin Musahiri: Sounds like fun. So, Doozer, you got a match tomorrow against Kyle TFT Kalligan right?

Doozer: Yeah, I got a match against that Fudge Packer. He's nothing though, I'm more focused on my tag team match. I don't know what it is other than that, but I want to win it. I mean, I don't really even care about the People's Title. Everyone that is ranked better than me, other than Genecide, does not want a title shot at it. They are all focused on bigger belts and well, since I am ranked almost as good as them, I think I should go for a bigger belt, but I'm not gonna give up the People's Title right yet, because I promised the fans that I wouldn't. So, I'm going to fight Kyle for the title, but I won't fight 100% because I don't want to wear myself down for that match. I don't think you would either.

Yojin Musahiri: Yeah, I can't argue with you there. I would much rather pass up a fight for a belt that I don't want and then fight harder for a match that seems like it is going to be a big one.

Doozer: The only thing that might make me fight harder is the fact that if I lose to Kyle then it will break my undefeated streak, that would sucks ass. It would really suck ass. I mean really really suck ass. It would suck so much ass that it would be the biggest ass sucker in the world. Also, Kyle would probably not stop bragging about how he ended my undefeated streak. He'd just keep on putting it in my face day after day after day after day.

The Dude: I think you are a retard. I would be out there against anyone that wanted to face me and I would kick their ass as hard as I could. I would beat them within inches of their death. Then, after a while nobody would want to step into the ring with me. I would be immortalized as the man who could not be beaten. As the one who people feared to face. I would go down into the Dream Wrestling Federation Hall of Fame. I wonder why they call it Dream Wrestling?

Slim Shady: Oh, that is easy. I know exactly why they call it the Dream Wrestling Federation. They call it that because the only time losers like you will ever do good in the Dream Wrestling Federation is when you are DREAMING!!! Man, I am good. I bet that is really why they call in the Dream Wrestling Federation. They were thinking of losers like The Dude, who couldn’t even get accepted, let alone be good.

The Dude: That wasn’t very nice. I should beat the crap out of you for that, but I can’t.

(The limo finally arrives at the arena and Doozer heads toward the gorilla position, The Dude heads toward the bathroom, Yojin Musahiri heads off to his locker room, Slim Shady went off with Yojin to Yojin’s locker room, and The Cameraman went off some where because he is now on break since Doozer is at the arena where other cameramen will pick him up. Then, the lights go off. The color of red starts to flicker about the stands and the song, "BIG PIMPIN" by Jay-Z plays as Doozer makes his way towards the ring. Doozer is wearing his usual. The official Boston Red Sox Hat and his Nomar Garciaparra Jersey. Under that Jersey is a T-Shirt Labeled "BORN BUFF!!!." Fans are reacting to Doozer with mixed reactions because of the fact that he said that he didn’t really care about being The People’s Champion. As Doozer steps into the ring, the words "RED SOX RULE" appear on the matt and as he turns his hat backwards, red fireworks blast out of every turnbuckle. Doozer grabs a mic and begins to speak.)

Doozer: The Dooze is in the houuuuuuuuuuse and he’s ready to RAISE some HELL and DO some DAMAGE. That’s right…

(The lights go off again. The color of blue probes the stands as "BIG BALLS" by Ac/Dc plays and The Dude makes his way to the ring and as he gets into the ring the words "RETARDS RULE" appear on the mat. Then, The Dude grabs a mic and begins to speak.)

The Dude: The Dude is in da houuuuuuuuuuuse and he’s ready to RAISE some HAIRS, on your neck, and DO some STUFF!!

Doozer: That’s right, you looking at the Innovation of Devastation, The Master of Disaster, along with the Proclamation of Constipation, the men, the myths, the legends, the two, the only, The Dudacious Duo!!!!

The Dude: No, unfortunately we are not a tag team, we just like the KICK ASS NAME!!!! Now, I have some issues to talk about. Alright, there has been a great amount of liquorice shortage around here and I would like to know…WHO THE HELL IS TAKING IT? Hehe, I got that from Wayne’s World!!! That’s was a kick ass movie. Yeah, I’ll just stay here and lick the cat’s butt!!! Hehe, I got that from Wayne’s World, too. Yeah, I just screwed a pig…WAIT A MINUTE, I just said that out loud. Oh yeah, I got that from Wayne’s World.

Don Harvone: The Dude is really quite a character. He is too weird for words. I mean…I won’t even say anything more. Now, what about Doozer hitting Thaila in the head with his People’s Title? I thought Thaila was his manager. That just didn’t seem right. Then, he attacked Extremist again. That is also very cold hearted.

Jerry: I think Doozer was making the right move, for once. He got rid of that sl(censored), Thaila. Plus, he hit Extremist with the belt again when he was helpless. Doozer is finally getting the right idea about the DWF. That is that only the best survive, you must kill to live on here in the DWF and Doozer is doin just that. I think Thiala was distracting him anyway.

JW: So, what are you saying? Just because that, I’ll call him what I called him in the DWF Press Conference, Lazy Bastard, hit two helpless people in the head with a belt he is on your good list now? I think you should’ve been hit in the head with a belt.

Doozer: That wasn’t in Wayne’s World One or Two. I think you are starting to lie.

The Dude: Hey, Doozer, don’t be talking to me like that. I eat pieces of sh(censored) like you for breakfast.

Doozer: Let me guess, you got that from Happy Gilmore?

The Dude: What the hell is that?

Doozer: Ew, you eat pieces of sh(censored) for breakfast?

The Dude: NO!!! Maybe…sometimes…ONLY ONCE!!!! Stop yelling at me.

Doozer: Physco, well I have some real issues to talk about. Now, JW, you threatened to take away my belt. That really doesn’t make me mad. The thing that does make me a little pissed off is the fact that you called me a lazy bastard. Now, I was starting to think that authority in the Dream Wrestling Federation was actually good, but I guess you guys are just as sh(censored)ty as the uTw. I guess some things never really change and I will keep on resisting authority.

JW: See, now Doozer is threatening me. He thinks that he will get back on my good side by threatening me. I don’t think so. Doozer is going to have to defend that belt at least three or more times before I let him give up that People’s Title. He should be in some gutter fed. Some crappy fed, but Darren must have felt sorry for him.

Don Harvone: JW, Doozer is 7 and 0 in the Dream Wrestling Federation. He has only gone ten days out of almost two months without a belt. That is kind of impressive. I think he has brought a lot of new talent to the DWF. I think he deserves to be here. I think Darren made the right choice. I think that Doozer fits in just perfectly with the great Superstars of the Dream Wrestling Federation.

Doozer: Now, I bet you are all asking yourselves why I hit Thaila with my People's Title. Well, other than having sex with many other men, she has been holding me down. She hasn't done jack sh(censored) for me. I mean, all she has done is gotten injured, which kind of fired me up a little, so that did help a little. The other thing is that I am now a free man. That is why I came down to the jingle of "BIG PIMPIN" by Jay-Z. From now on I am going to be Big Pimpin. Now, since I got Thaila out of my way, nothing will slow me down. I'm pimping because the wrestling businesses are out of pimps. I mean, Kanyon is now Postivily Kanyon instead of being that half pimp he was. The Godfather got beaten by Bull for his Pimping Job. So, the wrestling world needs a pimp and HERE I AM.

(All of a sudden the lights go off. "BREAK STUFF" by Limp Bizkit plays, fireworks blare, and a single ray of green light shows Dusty at the top of the ramp. He struts down to the ring, and casually steps over the top rope. While inside he points to his shirt and mouths the words "All Hail Swamp Donkeys", points to his hat which says "Retardsville", then starts his signature taunt. He squeals like a pig and skips around the ring. While he is skipping around. Doozer sticks out his foot and trips him.)

Doozer: Just what the hell are you doing while I am in the ring. Don't you know that you don't deserve to be in the same ring at the same time as me, The Innovation of Devastation, The Master of Disaster, The King of Crunch...I can't think of anymore...

The Dude: You could be the President of Poopy!!!

(Doozer just stares at The Dude for about thirty seconds, then slaps him. Then, The Dude spots Dusty and runs for him with open arms.)

The Dude: I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!

Dusty: I know, we're in this thing together. And Doozer, you are a retardaphobic**looks at The Dude** is that even a word?

The Dude: How should I know? The only words I know are stuff and cause. God, I am surrounded by retards...ME, MYSELF, AND DUSTY!!!

Dusty: Oh yeah!!! How could I be so stupid. Oh yeah, i'm Dusty. But Doozer, you call youself all those things, well, I'm the occupation of multiplication, the crasher of thrasher, the cruch of munch, the president of doody. And I have just one question for you.. Your a pimp, you got ladies, can I have a lady that will...**slaps his face like the little kid does in Home Alone** SHOW ME HER BOOBIES?!?!

Doozer: I'll have to check with you mommy, hahahha. If you still wet yourself, then I only think that the ugly hoes will take you, like Thaila.

Dusty: Thaila is hot, what are you talking about. Even Spanky got a piece of her!! She must be really easy then. And look what I can do**Dusty tries to do a flip but lands right on his face**. YOU WILL GET CAUGHT IN A DUSTSTORM, now someone get me a band aid please!!

Doozer: Well, I think I've said enough. So, Kyle and whoever I am facing on Saturday...stay away from the little boys, they don't like you. But, to all you cool cat red sox fans..KEEP COOL AND KICK ASS. 'Cause winning isn't everything, but LOSING SUCKS ASS. Well, I wouldn't know being 7 and 0, but go ask some ho...I mean Dusty, I just had to rhyme. Oh, and Extremist, I hope you get better soon...SO I CAN BASH YOUR FACE IN ALL OVER AGAIN...BITCH!!!

("BIG PIMPIN" by Jay-Z plays as Doozer, The Dude, and Dusty walk to the backstage area with all the fans singing the lyrics of Big Pimpin. Then, Doozer trips Dusty in such a way that he falls onto the cameraman so that Doozer will not have to be taped for the rest of the night.)