(The scene opens up with Doozer in a bed, just waking up with his Tag Team Championship Belt draped over him. The Dude already in the shower, he does sleep in the bath tub, gets out and dressed. Doozer follows him, getting showered and dressed. The camera shows Yojin getting into another shower. He gets out and dressed. Mike Robinson and Slim Shady do the same. They are all sitting in the living room watching the Television.) Doozer: I don’t really like the name Television for a TV. I like the name Boob Tube. You guys ever heard these thing being called a Boob Tube? Mike Robinson: Do you think we are retards? No offense, Dude. Of course we have heard them called the Boob Tube. Actually, I don’t like Television that much either, it’s too scientific. I say we just call it the Boob Tube from now on. The Dude: The Dude… Boob Tube… The Dude… Boob Tube… Hahahaha, they rhyme!!! Well, there’s nothing on the Boob Tube. So, what are we going to do? Yojin Musahiri: Well, we should get ready for our new DARE Weight-Loss Program exorcise. I got one already planned out. Here is how it will go. Alright, first Doozer and Slim shady dress up in disguise as Donut Dealers. Then, Mike Robinson and I will dress up in disguise as cops. Dude, you hang out with Dusty, Spanky, and Stan and try to use peer pressure to get them to take and eat the donuts from the Donut Dealers, Doozer and Slim Shady. Then, the cops, Mike Robinson and Myself, will come up to you guys, thinking they are drug dealers, and inspect everything. Once we find out that they are donut dealers, then we buy some donuts and this is where Mike Robinson and Myself will have to sacrifice to the DARE Weight-Loss Program by eating a donut or maybe even….TWO OF THEM. I know, it sounds awful, but we might not need to go that far. Then, if any of them do eat a donut. We un-disguise ourselves and beat the hell out of them. Does it sound good to you guys? Doozer: It sounds to me like we got ourselves a brand new exorcise. Alright, let’s dress up now and get on our way down town to the mean streets of Boston Massachusetts. (Doozer and Slim Shady find some trench coats and put them on. They also find some dark brown cowboy hats and wear them also. They travel down to the store and buy the best donuts of all, "Mrs. Dunster’s Donuts." Yojin Musahiri and Mike Robinson find a strobe light and put red and blue colored plastic bags over the light tightly and stick it on their car’s dashboard. They also find some cop uniforms that they took after beating the living hell out of a couple of cops and put them on. They are a little baggy, especially around the stomach area, but they will live. The Dude takes an old ’69 Mustang out of Doozer’s hanger that he has in his back yard and drives it over to Dusty’s apartment. The Dude loads Dusty, Spanky, and Stan in the car and ventures off downtown. Doozer and Slim Shady are show with trench coats, on that are loaded with donuts, walking around downtown. Yojin Musahiri and Mike Robinson drive into a back street where they have the perfect view of Doozer and Slim Shady. Then, The Dude, Dusty, Spanky, and Stan come up to Doozer and Slim Shady. They all talk for a little bit, then Doozer starts to open up his trench coat. Yojin puts the siren on and drives right up to them. The four buyers, who weren't The Dude, Dusty, Spanky, and Stan run off. Yojin and Mike Robinson get out of the car and pull out their plastic pistols. The two dealers bring out their guns. Yojin realizes that niether of them are Doozer or Slim Shady.) Yojin Musahiri: Oh sh(censored)!!! Mike, neither of these two are Doozer or Slim Shady. Let's get the hell out of here, Mike. These two will blow us away. Mike Robinson: Wait, wait, wait, look at it this way for a second, Yoshi. I am the other half of the Tag Team Champions with Doozer. You are just a crappy tag team partner of his that he feels pity for so he won't ditch you. Yeah, that's right. So, I say that we...**shots are fired at them both** GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!! (Yojin and Mike both get into the car and drive off as quickly as possible. They looked at the name of the street that they were doing and it was the wrong one. They probably missed the right one because they were argueing about who the better tag team partner was. They eventually find the right street and get in a backstreet so they can see all the action. Doozer looks to his left and Yojin gives him the ready signal.) Doozer: **while disguising his voice**Alright, so do we have a deal? You give us ten dollars for each Mrs. Dunsters donuts. Dusty: Well, is anyone here going to tell Doozer or anyone else about this? **everybody shakes their head, doozer snickers** Well, I guess we got a...d...ummmm......deal thingy. Yeah, we got a deal. (Doozer starts to open up his trench coat showing the Mrs. Dunsters Donuts. Dusty is drooling. Right then, Yojin turns on the sirens and jets over infront of Doozer and Slim Shady and the others. Yojin and Mike pull out their plactic pistols.) Yojin Musahiri:**disguising his voice** If any of you punks move, I'm gonna blast your fu(censored)ing head off. Dusty: Ahhhh, harsh talking. Get away...aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!! Mike Robinson:**disguising his voice** Hey, why do you get to say that? Who's better, huh? I should be the one saying everything. (While Yojin and Mike keep argueing, Doozer and Slim just stand there watching them. Spanky and Stan start to run. Dusty grabs all the Mrs. Dunsters Donuts that he can and runs off. It almost seems like he is running in slow motion as he scarfs down one donut after another with a huge smile on his face, but then he slips and the smile turns upside down as he falls face first on the ground and all the donuts get squished. Dusty starts to cry as he lays there on the cement. Some guy come up from behind Doozer with a nine millimeter to his head. Slim Shady starts to talk.) Slim Shady: Hey man, before you pull that trigga, you might wanna listen to this... The Man: Alright, alright, I'm gone. Just don't do nothin to me.**he runs** Doozer: Hah, your physcotic lyrics are good for more than going Triple Platinum. Oh, crybaby**dusty looks up** I'm not gonna punish you for what you did today, only because I am very happy that my brains didn't get blown out. Alright, let's get back to my place. (The Dude, Dusty, Spanky, and Stan all get into their car and drive off. Doozer and Slim Shady hop into the car that Yojin and Mike drove down in and drive off.) Doozer: Well, that was very, very unsuccesful. I gotta thank Mike Robinson and Yojin Musahiri for this. When are you two gonna get it through your heads that I think both of you are great tag team partners. You two should be friends. Mike, you should be focused on Big Sh(censored) and Ice Porridge, Yojin Musahiri is with us. So, if you don't focus on our match, then we could loss these titles. Alright, we are almost at the house. Mike Robinson: Well, Yojin Musahiri, I'm....sor...sorr...Oh god damnit, I'm sorry. Happy now? Yojin Musahiri: Same here, Mike.
I MURDER A BITCH ONE STAB AT A TIME
YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF A MIND AS PERVETED AS MINE
NOW GET RID OF THAT NINE
**pulls out a nine millimeter**AND I WILL MINE
OR ELSE I'LL SHOOT YOU DOWN
LIKE A FROWN, ON A CLOWN
YEAH, YOU MIGHT BE FOUND
ON THE SIDE OF A STREET
IF YOU'RE LUCKY
I WON'T THROW YOU IN THE WATER WITHOUT A RUBBER DUCKY
SEE, THEN IT LOOKS LIKE A SUICIDE
AND I'LL BE THERE ON THE OTHER SIDE, of my TV
LAUGHING MY ASS OFF CAUSE I KNOW IT WAS ME
(The car pulls up to the house, The Dude, Spanky, Dusty, and Stan are already there. Doozer, Slim Shady, Mike Robinson, and Yojin Musahiri all hop out of the limo and enter Doozer's house. The Dude, Dusty, Spanky, and Stan are all sitting down in front of the Televi...oops, Boob Tube. Doozer sees them and starts to look confused.) Doozer: What are you guys doing? You guys think you can just walk into my house and turn on my Boob Tube and sit on my couch while I'm not even there? The Dude, Dusty, Spanky, and Stan: Yeah, pretty much. Doozer: Well, since you put it that way I guess it is okay. Now, what are you guys watching on my Boob Tube? Mike Robinson: Hey, put on The Simpsons. It's on right about now. That show is awesome. I love Marge. Dusty: Poopy no, The Teletubbies are on. Go green one go, go Dipsy. Stan: Oh, Tinky Winky is just sooooo cute. Slim Shady: I'd like to shoot all their frigen Boob Tubes in their fu(censored)ing bellies. Doozer: Well, why you guys watch whatever you are gonna watch, I'm gonna go over there, sit in front on the damn camera and lick the cat's butt....**no one says anything** I knew they weren't paying any attention to me what so ever. I guess nobody loves me anymore. (Mike Robinson and Dusty start to fight for the controller. Mike ends up hitting Dusty in the head with his Championship Belt. Then, he takes the controller and turns on The Simpsons. Now everybody that in concious is happy. Doozer walks over to the camera and begins to speak.) Doozer: Yeah, I know I'm not in the ring again, but I also know that you all want to hear it because I am sooo great, so here it is... DOOZER IS IN THE HOUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE and he's ready to RAISE some HELL and DO some DAMAGE. That's right, you are looking at The Innovation of Devastation, the Master of Disaster, the King of Krunch, the man, the myth, the legend, the one, the only, The Dooze!!! Now, late at night, I am laying in bed watching tapes of some of the other wrestlers cutting promos and stuff like that and I see some newbie nothing, The Hardcore Bitch talking to me like I'm some nobody. He was talking to me like I was a nothing, like he could beat me with two hands tied behind his back. He called me a sorry excuse of a human being. How can that be when I am out all day long trying to save people from eating donuts, becoming addicted, and getting fat. A lot of people are Over-weight here in the United States of America and that is a fact. So, while I am out saving fat people from getting bigger, I am being called a poor excuse for a human being. I don't think so. He also says how I will be surprised by his power. Well, you obviously don't know the power that I contain. I mean, just look at my past here in the Dream Wrestling Federation. First off, I come in and beat this guy named...Genecide. Then, I beat The Real Deal Joe O'neal. Then, I get a Novice Title shot against Ice Dragon, beat his ass. After that, I beat Basher. I know, all no names so far. Then, I drop my title down to my rival Extremist, he was my friend then. Then, just a week after that. I got a People's Title shot against The Mutha Bleepin A-Train, a mid to upper carder. I beat his ass so badly, he retired. Then, I take some time off. Come back to face Kyle 'The Freight Train' Kalligan. I took him too lightly and ended up losing, but Extremist did come down to the ring and clocked me. Oh, I forgot. A while back, right after I dropped my title to Extremist. Prime Time came down to the ring and a match started. I didn't even know about the match, but who won? I did. Then, just one day after losing The People's Title, Mike Robinson choses me to be his mystery partner in a Tag Team Title match, which we won. That's where I am right now. I am One half of the Tag Team Champions. I am Seven and One. I am tied for Twelth in the Dream Wrestling Federation and I am still climbing strong. So, Hardcore Bitch, you picked a fight with the wrong dawg. 'Cause this one don't lay down to no one. Hardcore Bitch, all you are to me is just another Packer in the Fudge Factory. Also, you are just another brick in the wall. The Wall that stands between me and The Dream Wrestling Federation Hall of Fame. See, you are a very small brick and I am a Bull-Doozer and well... I'm gonna plow your ass down. I'll knock you into next wednesday if you ever try to get in the ring with me. So, I suggest to you that you just back off if you know what is good for you. Also, you attack Aliester Crowley verbaly. Not very smart, Hardcore Bitch. Aliester Crowley is the leader of an Interfed Corporation, which holds some of the best in Wrestling today. Some from the Dream Wrestling Federation that are in it are Aliester, of course, Dazz, The Dream Champion, Extremist, US and Novice Champion, Doozer, myself One half of the Tag Team Champions, Mike Robinson, my tag partner and other half of the Tag Champs, Dusty, one hell of a fighter and maybe the future Novice Champion, and Snow Slash, a tough competitor. If I left anybody else out, sorry bout that, but I think you get the point, Hardcore Bitch. You don't want to fu(censored) with either me or Aliester Crowley. Now, I have wasted way too many words out of my mouth on you. Onto my match with….oh yeah, Big Sh(censored) and Ice Porridge. Now, you two just get a rematch and think you are going to do better. Yeah, right. Ice Porridge you are in pretty bad condition and Big Sh(censored) you have to tag with Ice Porridge. I say neither one of you two are really good off. I’d just like to tell both of you that Me and Mikey, The Emindee Connection have beaten you once before and we will do it again, that is a fact. Also, speaking of this match. I was listening to Dream Wrestling Federation Unlimited and I couldn’t help but laugh when I came across the part when Don Harvone or his little friend didn’t even know that Mike Robinson and Myself were the Emindee Connection, on top of that, The DWF Tag Team Champions. He said that The Emindee Connection were just debuting and getting a title shot. He thought Big Sh(censored) and Ice Porridge would win. Well, Mike and I did debut for the titles, but that was last Saturday!!! We are not getting a Tag Title shot on Battle Clash, we are defending our titles for god’s sake. No offense, Don. Unlimited was great other than that. I enjoyed listening to it. Now, I really don’t have anything else to talk about. So, I’ll give one shout out to…Extremist. Hey, Extremist, I still hate you, bitch. Alright, now Hardcore Bitch stay away from those little boys and if you do fight me, you might have to go out for the Beating job over at the Meat Factory because I am going to put you out of your lame ass wrestling career, but to all you cool cat red sox fans out there….KEEP COOL and Kick Ass… ‘Cause winning might not be everything, BUT LOSING SUCKS ASS!!!! (Screen fades to...)
