Stoner

You're a stoner if...
...you could find enough bud to smoke scattered around in your car.
You're a stoner if...
...you have lit up a fat blunt by yourself.
You're a stoner if...
...you have named your boat, business, pet or child after anything dealing with marijuana.
You're a stoner if...
...you have a website dealing with Weed.( damn I am a stoner then! )
You're a stoner if...
...you have resorted to smoking a fat ball of resin to get high when you are out of herb.
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke all the weed you can right now and not think about later.
You're a stoner if...
...you'd call the weedman and ask for a sack up front and ask to pay later.
You're a stoner if...
...you get high with anybody and everybody.
You're a stoner if...
...you laugh at stupid stuff even when you aren't stoned.
You're a stoner if...
...you have a pot leaf tattooed on your ankle.
You're a stoner if...
...you starve all week at work because you spent all your money on herb.
You're a stoner if...
...most of your electric bill is from powering your Hydroponics Set-up.
You're a stoner if...
...you wake, smoke, shower, smoke, eat, smoke, work, smoke, smoke, smoke.
You're a stoner if...
...you get red-eyed even when you aren't smoking.
You're a stoner if...
...you pick a fight in a club and by the time you get outside you forgot why you were going to fight.
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke a bowl before you eat, just so it will taste better.
You're a stoner if...
...you carry a bong in your school bag.
You're a stoner if...
...you can't remember if you just smoked or not.
You're a stoner if...
...If you have a thick coat of resin forming on the inside of your car.
...you wear moccasins everywhere, including school.
You're a stoner if...
...you spend more money per month on weed than rent.
You're a stoner if...
...you've lost weight since you started smoking.
You're a stoner if...
...you go through a bottle of Visine in an hour.
You're a stoner if...
...when visiting relatives, you plot out the best place to get high and not get caught.
You're a stoner if...
...you wonder whether or not you are a stoner.
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke a J within a half hour of you getting up.

You're a stoner if...
...absolutely any food appeals to you when you are high, and must be consumed in large quantities.
You're a stoner if...
...if you can make a pipe from just about anything lying around your house.
. You're a stoner if...
...you try to analyze if everyone is a stoner or not.
You're a stoner if...
...you carry an air freshener with you at all times.
You're a stoner if...
...you are paranoid even when you aren't stoned.
You're a stoner if...
...you are late to appointments because you were smoking.
You're a stoner if...
...you support the legalization of Marijuana.
You're a stoner if...
...you sit in your car with your pals and fish bowl it until you can't see out of it, then go driving just for fun.
You're a stoner if...
...you've ever lost 2 or more pipes by cashing them out a car window of a moving vehicle.
You're a stoner if...
...nobody questions the inch thick glaze on your eyes, because it is normal.
You're a stoner if...
...you've ever walked into a store with a J in your ear.
You're a stoner if...
...you've pulled out a pocketful of change and a couple of roaches fall out too.
You're a stoner if...
...you pack a bowl when you are stoned and forget to smoke it.
You're a stoner if...
...you have ever smoked an entire bowl with a pack of matches.
You're a stoner if...
...cartoon pizza makes you hungry when you are stoned.
You're a stoner if...
...you go to your favorite gas station and they throw down a pack of zags without you asking.
You're a stoner if...
...you try to get your cat to smoke.
You're a stoner if...
...you leave your house to get food but end up smoking instead.
You're a stoner if...
...you try to hit your pipe backwards.
You're a stoner if...
...you go to school high not high school.
You're a stoner if...
...you study books on joint rolling instead of your school books.
You're a stoner if...
...you forget what it is like being sober.
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke a 2 - g joint for wake-and-bake.
You're a stoner if...
...you have permanent munchies from smoking too much.
You're a stoner if...
...you think April 20th should be a national holiday.
You're a stoner if...
...you have dropped a Joint in the principal's office on the floor.
You're a stoner if...
...you buy a bag, then forget where you put it and loose it.
You're a stoner if...
...you only leave your domain to get the bare essentials.
You're a stoner if...
...your day consists of nothing but smoking green.
You're a stoner if...
...you go over to your girl's house and steal money to buy a bag.
You're a stoner if...
...you pay for weed in change.
You're a stoner if...
...you look in the fridge and see nothing but then 20 minutes later you go back to look again.
You're a stoner if...
...you have smoked yourself sober before.
You're a stoner if...
...when you are out of weed you run frantically around the houses collecting old, dirty roaches, then you crush them up in a bowl and smoke it.
You're a stoner if...
...you use Weed for lettuce.
You're a stoner if...
...you would rather smoke a blunt than get Oral Sex.
You're a stoner if...
...you have ever gotten a bag of Weed in your Christmas stocking.
You're a stoner if...
...you pull a chair up to the fridge when you get the Munchies.
You're a stoner if...
...you request a second bag on credit before you finish the first one.
You're a stoner if...
...you go to the store to but food and leave it in the car then 20 minutes later you go back to the store to buy more.
You're a stoner if...
...you buy Papers at Costco.
You're a stoner if...
...you're so desperate to smoke that you sneak out and fishbowl your dog's "Lil Igloo" in the backyard.
You're a stoner if...
...your idea of a classic movie is " Cheech and Chong's Up In Smoke".
You're a stoner if...
...you can roll a J while driving.
You're a stoner if...
...your school books smell like Herb.
You're a stoner if...
...your dog waits at the door for you to get home so it can get smoked out.
You're a stoner if...
...you sit in class and read "Stoner If's" instead of class work.
You're a stoner if...
...you dream about Pot.
You're a stoner if...
...you get High at lunch instead of eating.
You're a stoner if...
..the tips of your fingers are stained yellow.
You're a stoner if...
...you stop a stop sign and wait for it to turn green.
You're a stoner if...
...you spend most of your time deciding whether or not you are a stoner.
You're a stoner if...
...you're watching TV and a commercial comes on and you can't remember what show you were watching.
You're a stoner if...
...you get stoned before work, at work, and after work.
You're a stoner if...
...you have a bong taller than you.
You're a stoner if...
...you laugh at a sales clerk when she says the total is 4.20 $
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke at 4:10, realize what time it is and smoke another bowl at 4:20.
You're a stoner if...
...you think of your paycheck as increments of weed.
You're a stoner if...
...the only reason you are going to college is to make more money to buy more herb.
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke stems you find on the floor when you are out of herb.
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke in class and blow it in a balloon.
You're a stoner if...
...a Pot commercial comes on while you are watching TV with your parents and you become very anxious.
You're a stoner if...
...you can't ever find your keys but you know the EXACT spot where that bud fell out of your bowl last week.
You're a stoner if...
...you get a headache from not being high.
You're a stoner if...
...you have ever thought about packing a bowl of seeds to get high, cause you are out of herb.
You're a stoner if...
...all of your pipes have clever names.
You're a stoner if...
...you go to a babysitting job blazed out of your nut. ( Ali B. )
You're a stoner if...
...you go to lawn college because you heard them mention Weed in their commercial.
You're a stoner if...
...you have your dealer's number on speed dial.
You're a stoner if...
...you say "Dude" more than 4 times in under 10 minutes.
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke a fat blunt while reading stoner ifs.
You're a stoner if...
...you have leftover shake in your pockets after a hard night.
You're a stoner if...
...you find buds in your pocket and you take them out and smoke em'
You're a stoner if...
...you would rather get high than get pussy.
You're a stoner if...
...you wake up to a fat blunt and go to sleep with a fat blunt.
You're a stoner if...
...you get weed from your mother's hands.
You're a stoner if...
...you can scrape enough resin off your teeth to smoke.
You're a stoner if...
...you wake up stoned and still want to get even higher.
You're a stoner if...
...you slow down too soon at stop lights even when you aren't high at all.
You're a stoner if...
...you question whether or not your teacher's smoke and whether or not to ask them if they want to.
You're a stoner if...
...every time you walk into a hardware store you think " man I could make the best bong out of this ".
You're a stoner if...
...every pair of pants you have has a secret stash pocket.
You're a stoner if...
...you dog gets mad when you hold out on him.
You're a stoner if...
...you pack a bowl for someone else and accidentally smoke it yourself.
You're a stoner if...
...you sit at this stoner if's page and try to think of them for hours on end.
You're a stoner if...
...you plan your day around how much weed you can get.
You're a stoner if...
...you know every place you smoked last week but can't remember for the life of you what you did in school today.
You're a stoner if...
...you have more names picked out for future bongs than for future children.
You're a stoner if...
...you put seeds in a pepper grinder and put it on your food.
You're a stoner if...
...you spend more time thinking of a name for your bong than you spend on homework.
You're a stoner if...
...your mom gets her car back from you the next day and asks if you are wearing a new cologne.
You're a stoner if...
...you would rather watch the Discovery channel than MTV.
You're a stoner if...
...you spend more time burning in the park behind you house than you did when you played in it as a kid. You're a stoner if...
...you feel that everyone is staring into your eyes.
You're a stoner if...
...you slow down for a green light.
You're a stoner if...
...you wonder whether or not you should have sex, and you decide to think about it while you smoke a J, then you forget what you were thinking about.
You're a stoner if...
...you save your lunch money to buy pot.
You're a stoner if...
...you would rather listen to trippy music on the Weather Channel than watch anything else.
You're a stoner if...
...everytime you belch smoke pours out everywhere.
You're a stoner if...
...you only like going to school when you have a nice fatty waiting for you in the morning.
You're a stoner if...
...you travel across the city to get herb.
You're a stoner if...
...you forget your dealer's name.
You're a stoner if...
...you sit in your backyard and can carry a conversation with your dog.
You're a stoner if...
...you need to smoke in order to get any sleep.
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke then wash your clothes and they still reak of herb.
You're a stoner if...
...you purposely do every stoner if on this page just so you can be a bigger stoner.
You're a stoner if...
...all you think about is pot.
You're a stoner if...
...you think hanging out is boring if you aren't smoking.
You're a stoner if...
...you zone out and have no idea what your friends are talking about but still pretend to.
You're a stoner if...
...you scream for all non-potheads to kill themselves over the school PA.
You're a stoner if...
...you are lighting up as you read this.
You're a stoner if...
...everytime you walk in someone's house you contemplate the best place to hide pot.
You're a stoner if...
...marijuana is the main ingredient in everything you cook.
You're a stoner if...
...you buy twice as much weed, cause your dealer is going out of town for a few days.
You're a stoner if...
...you can recite the scene from Half baked where they name all the Munchies.
You're a stoner if...
...you treat your pipes like babies.
You're a stoner if...
...you can't remember whose hit it is.
You're a stoner if...
...you have ever stolen your mom' car and gotten high.
You're a stoner if...
...you have ever gotten caught smoking and said it was peer pressure.
You're a stoner if...
...the only motivation you have is to eat and smoke.
You're a stoner if...
...you can make a pipe from a stick of chewing gum.
You're a stoner if...
...you have more pot growing in your backyard than grass.
You're a stoner if...
...you can find pot under your couch cushions.
You're a stoner if...
...you steal smoking accessories from your school.
You're a stoner if...
...your lizard is as high as you are.
You're a stoner if...
...you think about smoking a pound in an hour.
You're a stoner if...
...you roll a joint with bible papers.
You're a stoner if...
...someone asks if you are a stoner and you deny it.
You're a stoner if...
...you cut a hole in the tongue of your shoe for a stash pocket.
You're a stoner if...
...you have ever smoked a bowl using a candle cause there was no matches around.
You're a stoner if...
...you have ever stolen pieces from your chemistry class to make a bong.
You're a stoner if...
...you get in fights over who gets to take the first hit.
You're a stoner if...
...you drink bong water.
You're a stoner if...
...you eat pot brownies for munchies.
You're a stoner if...
...you twitch when your not high,
You're a stoner if...
...you make a new pipe or bong every chance you get.
You're a stoner if...
...you wake and bake at 2 in the afternoon.
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke so much weed that after it is gone you complain about how you don't buy enough.
You're a stoner if...
...you have to buy a new lighter every day.
You're a stoner if...
...you take film in for one hour developing and don't pick it up for three days.
You're a stoner if...
...your dealer knows your number by heart.
You're a stoner if...
...your late to work because you were finishing bong hits.
You're a stoner if...
...you save 4000 $ to buy a car, but end up going to the cannabis cup in Amsterdam
You're a stoner if...
...you sit at home all day and the only thing you get accomplished is getting ripped as hell.
You're a stoner if...
...you ask your mom to spare you some chronic for when you get home that night
You're a stoner if...
...you misspell words on your own website.
You're a stoner if...
...you can justify smoking a bowl before you do any homework.
You're a stoner if...
...you have ever used a can to smoke weed cause you had no papers left.
You're a stoner if...
...your mom makes fun of you because she is stoned and you aren't.
You're a stoner if...
...you pick up your papers off the ground and then proceed to look for them for 20 minutes. You're a stoner if...
...you could find enough bud to smoke scattered around in your car.
You're a stoner if...
...you have lit up a fat blunt by yourself.
You're a stoner if...
...you have named your boat, business, pet or child after anything dealing with marijuana.
You're a stoner if...
...you have a website dealing with Weed.( damn I am a stoner then! )
You're a stoner if...
...you have resorted to smoking a fat ball of resin to get high when you are out of herb.
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke all the weed you can right now and not think about later.
You're a stoner if...
...you'd call the weedman and ask for a sack up front and ask to pay later.
You're a stoner if...
...you get high with anybody and everybody.
You're a stoner if...
...you laugh at stupid stuff even when you aren't stoned.
You're a stoner if...
...you have a pot leaf tattooed on your ankle.
You're a stoner if...
...you starve all week at work because you spent all your money on herb.
You're a stoner if...
...most of your electric bill is from powering your Hydroponics Set-up.
You're a stoner if...
...you wake, smoke, shower, smoke, eat, smoke, work, smoke, smoke, smoke.
You're a stoner if...
...you get red-eyed even when you aren't smoking.
You're a stoner if...
...you pick a fight in a club and by the time you get outside you forgot why you were going to fight.
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke a bowl before you eat, just so it will taste better.
You're a stoner if...
...you carry a bong in your school bag.
You're a stoner if...
...you can't remember if you just smoked or not.
You're a stoner if...
...If you have a thick coat of resin forming on the inside of your car.
You're a stoner if...
...you wear moccasins everywhere, including school.
You're a stoner if...
...you spend more money per month on weed than rent.
You're a stoner if...
...you've lost weight since you started smoking.
You're a stoner if...
...you go through a bottle of Visine in an hour.
You're a stoner if...
...when visiting relatives, you plot out the best place to get high and not get caught.
You're a stoner if...
...you wonder whether or not you are a stoner.
You're a stoner if...
...you smoke a J within a half hour of you getting up.
You're a stoner if...
...absolutely any food appeals to you when you are high, and must be consumed in large quantities.
You're a stoner if...
...if you can make a pipe from just about anything lying around your house.