THE HEALER'S HANDS

The personal testimony of
Lady Michele, a Moderator of Grace Ladies

When I was seven weeks old I got pneumonia and had to be hospitalized. Due to medical mistreatment I have cerebral palsy and rely on the use of a power chair for independence. I was diagnosed with cerebral palsy on my first birthday. My parents were told that there was no way to know what the outcome of my life or my abilities would be. At that time some of my family members suggested that maybe I should go to some sort of an institution. Although life has not been easy for me I am certainly glad that I was not put in an institution.

Today, I am very independent. I have my driver’s license and my own van. I am a successful college junior/senior majoring in social work at a Christian college in Minneapolis, Minnesota, which is a long way from my home state of New Hampshire. After graduation, I am planning to get my master’s in social work My mother, my best friend, and I became born-again Christians in September 1993. Two months later the Lord showed me the power of His love and the power of His healing hand. I was at a revival/healing service at Faith Christian Center (my home church). After being prayed for I felt like I wanted to try to stand. Being a new Christian, I was scared because I had no idea what I was talking about or what was going to happen. I was also very apprehensive because I knew that I am not capable of standing at all unless I have A LOT of support. I was able to stand but only for a few seconds. This amazed me as well as everyone else because my mom only had ONE FINGER under my arm and my friend had her hand lightly touching my back. Through the years the Lord has given me these healing times where I could stand but only for a few seconds. Although I wasn’t able to take any steps that was okay because I knew that things happen in His time.

I have always had a heart for missions but I never felt that I could do it because of my wheelchair and accessibility issues. In March of 1997 something changed in me and I decided that I wasn’t going to let my disability stop me. I was going to go on a mission trip no matter what it took! Within thirty minutes of that decision, the Lord blessed me because I took twenty-five steps with only a little help. Four months later, I went on my first trip to Las Tunas, Cuba.

Forgiveness has also played a part in what the Lord has done for me. I had never met the doctor who caused my disability. To me he was just a name without face. He was the man, the doctor, who somehow didn’t do his job. He had his independence, a life, and things were easy for him. For me, I had cerebral palsy. Life was not easy by any means. Some of the little things like putting your hair in a ponytail or putting on nail polish were and still are impossible for me to do independently.

In March of 1998, my mother’s office hosted a conference about Physician Assisted Suicide and the impact it has on the disabled community. I had already decided to go to the conference when my mom informed me that the doctor who caused my disability was going to be one of the speakers at the conference. She asked me if I still wanted to go. I told her that it was going to be hard for me to do, but that I would still go. At the end of the conference I went up to the doctor and asked if I could speak with him. He said yes. When he turned to talk to me he said, “You look really good....” (I was surprised at that statement because I didn’t think he knew who I was.) I asked him if he did know who I was and when he said yes I started to cry. This man, this doctor who had been faceless to me for so many years, now had a face. He and I talked for a long while. I got to ask him “why”. Even though he couldn’t give me a concrete answer, I still felt better because at least I got to ask the question that somehow I’ve always wanted to ask. I got to share with him my recent struggles, my joys and my hopes. Most importantly I got to share with him the incredible love and forgiveness that is found in knowing Christ. At one point in our conversation, he said, “I understand if you hate me...” I said, “No, I don’t hate you. I can’t hate you. I am a Christian. I may not understand everything, but I don’t hate you....” I was also able to look at him, say that I forgave him and give him a hug. Not only did I give him a hug but we said I love you to each other. I told him about my past mission trip as well as my (then upcoming) second trip to Cuba. I am happy as well as very thankful to him because he financially supported part of my trip to Cuba.

Somehow you always hear, in one way or another, that forgiveness can give you breakthroughs in many situations. I am now one of those who can say that this is true. Even though the Lord has brought a slow healing to me over the years, He is now working over time on me!

On May 30, 1998, two days after I got home from Cuba, I went to the Women of the Word conference. We were in the morning worship service and my body started feeling strange. After praying with my mom and a friend, I decided to stand. (Now, remember that I’ve only been able to stand a few seconds and then I would start to fall.) Well not this time! I stood for 5 MINUTES with absolutely no one holding me!! Praise God. Our God is an AWESOME God!!

Since the conference He has continued working in me. On June 9, 1998 I took a few steps at my Bible study. I was only holding hands with the person in front of me, which had been IMPOSSIBLE for me to do before. Nine days later, I took 150 steps while holding hands with my mom. On July 12 and July 19, 1998 I walked up to the altar during offering with one of my friends holding his hands. PRAISE GOD! Walking up to the alter was such a special moment for me. Not only was I walking with a friend, but I was walking up to give the Lord my offering. I’ve given an offering before but usually my mom would bring it up for me because it is easier than trying to get through the crowd with my chair.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have wanted to be able to walk with crutches but I was unable to because I didn’t have the strength in my legs or arms nor did I have the coordination that is needed to use crutches successfully. Two weeks before I left home to come back to college, the Lord put the desire in my heart to use crutches and He gave the vision to a friend of mine. Within a week I went to the store, picked up a pair of crutches and called a friend of mine who had been my physical therapist in the past. After meeting with her and explaining what had been going on, she decided that yes, I was ready to try the crutches. Within five to ten minutes of my therapist showing me how to use them, I was using them on my own without her holding me!! I am still working at it, and I know that it might take me a while, but every time I use the crutches even if it’s only for five minutes, I’m getting better and better. Some day soon I know that I am going to be running and jumping and after 24 years, IT’S ABOUT TIME-AMEN!

In closing, I would like to encourage all of you: Trust God. He WILL do things in His time. Before I became a Christian I never thought I would be telling this story and even as a baby Christian, I didn’t think I would be either. God knows the desires of your heart and He who has began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it! (Philippians 1:6)

Addendum June 2001
Part of this is a synopsis but it is amazing how the Lord is continuing to work in my life.
I became a born-again Christian in September 1993. From that day forward, I was a strong Christian walking in, and trusting Him. However, after some devastating events in my family and the ending of a relationship I tried to commit suicide. On November 2, 1997, my life changed forever. I was never going to be the same person again.

I had just began my senior year of college. Now that came to a screeching halt. MY dreams and MY plans were gone. Because of my suicide attempt, I had to quit school and get help. After I completed treatment and counseling, I wondered what I had done to myself and how I could have been so stupid. There was no way to change what had already been done. All I could do was trust the Lord.

I knew I still wanted to go to school so in January I went back part time and a local college at home. In March, four months after my attempt, I went back to Minnesota with my mom to find what I needed to do so that I could come back to school full time and complete my last year of courses. Through the course of many events, I found out that I was no longer “welcome” to complete my degree in the social work department of that school.

After much discussion, prayer and determination I decided to change my major so that I could stay at that school and my friends. Two months into my new major, I HATED it! My heart wasn’t in it and I hated it, so I prayed and then decided to leave school for the rest of that semester.

It was clear to me that I was meant to be a social worker—that was the only thing in my heart. I prayed again. Lord, I’m so confused. I know this is the calling you have for me, but if I can’t go to this school and if you have made it clear that I’m not supposed to go home—but stay in Minnesota—what do I do? What is your will? What is your plan?

In February of 1999, I started classes at another college. Most of my credits did transfer from my other school, but I spent my first semester there fulfilling general education requirements that were specific to that school. During that semester, I also found out that despite my transfer of credits, I was going to be REQUIRED to REPEAT ALL of my Junior year. This information was more than a disappoint and I had no choice in the matter and no way around it. If I wanted to receive my degree from that school I was going to have repeat all my courses—including an internship that I had already completed. The road was going to be very long at frustrating times but if this is what He had for me, I was going to do it. No questions asked!

Although I wasn’t able to see it at the time, I THANK Him and PRAISE Him for my “second” Junior year. I thank Him for all my experiences and the teachers I had. I also praise Him for all He gave me this past year (Senior year.) If I had given up on the things He put on my heart or if I had chosen not to walk where He asked me to, I would not be where I am today. I would not have the skills He has given me.

Satan wanted to take my life on November 2, 1997, but today I have my degree in Social Work and a life that is better then anything I could have imagined. I want to encourage you to pursue the call He has put on your heart. Don’t assume that it is to hard or impossible. He will gave you the strength and the tools to do what He has called you to do.

There is a song called, “Will You Worship” It is a song that I had never heard before, but shortly before I left the hospital after my suicide attempt, I was able to go to church with my mom and this is the song that was played during worship. Since that time, it has always been a special song for me.