Justin and Brit-Brit (more than boyfriend/girlfriend)

The following is a newspaper article.  Whether it is from "The Enquierer" or the "New York Times" is not known; however, it is interesting please read it and enjoy.............
 

     Pop singing sensations Britney Spears (...Baby One More Time) and Justin Timberlake ( 'N Sync) have recently revealed that they are in fact brother and sister.  The two are twins who were put up for adoption only one week after they were born.  Although the biological father is not known, the birth mother of the two has revealed herself to be none other than Jane Fonda.
    The adopted parents of Timberlake would like the public to know that they  "always loved Justin" as their own son.  When asked about Mrs. Fonda trying to take cousdudy of Timberlake back from his parents their responce was simple,  " Mrs. Fonda [may] be the birth mother of  Justey (Justin) [but] she gave him up.  We took care of him for 13-I mean 17-years.  She didn't even want us to tell [Justin] he was adopted at all.  We are his parents now, not Mrs. Fonda and her husband." Justin would not comment on his current situation.
    The parents of Britney Spears say that they too wish to keep their daughter from being taken into Mrs. Fonda's coustudy.  Spears says she is "very upset to find out I was adopted. It's like, I mean, how could my mom not tell me about this, ya' know?  But the only thing that's , like, worse than her not telling me i'm ,like, adopted, is that she [didn't] tell me who my, like, real mom is.  I mean, like, who would want Jane Fonda as their mom? Gross-I mean, maybe if you wern't in as good of shape as me, ya' know?  I mean, she could prob'ly, like, help you be real skinny and pretty and stuff but, like, not for any other reason, ya'know?  It's like, ewwwww.  I'm just glad [that] I, like, don't need her help, ya' know?  I mean, I'm glad I'm already skinney and beautiful already so, like, I really don't need her.  Thank goodness!"
     The two were rumored to be dating last year.  When asked about it Spears says that she and Timberlake are "just friends now, but I wish we could still go out.  He's, like, really cute!  He's, like, my twin too, isn't that cool?"  Justin had no comment.