A Spouse's Viewpoint (cont.)
As Doug will tell you, we had already decided we would have to pay for the surgery ourselves, which meant some big sacrifices on both our parts. I wanted him to look into the possibility of the The Texas Rehabilitation Commission (TRC) helping us pay for at least part of the surgery. He was reluctant to do that because we had heard about how much time and effort it takes them to approve surgery. He was afraid that if they hadn't come through by the surgery date that I would try to get him to postpone the operation. I assured him on that point and told him that I understood it was probably futile to even try since no one we know of got approved in less than 18 months, but that I wouldn't feel comfortable spending that kind of money unless I felt like we had explored every option of getting financial help. You can read about the details of that adventure on Doug's TRC page, but suffice it to say that the TRC will be helping us pay for the surgery. Not only do I feel much better about the money part, but I also feel like WLS must be God's will for Doug since the approval came so quickly. This helps me not worry so much about other aspects of this journey we are on together.
Another thing that happened to me along the way was that I decided to try to lose weight myself. As you may have seen in our wedding picture, I have a weight problem too. Thankfully, my husband thinks I am beautiful just the way I am and he loves me for what's on the inside. Yet, in January I thought to myself that by summer, if all went well, Doug would be losing weight like crazy and I would still be my fat self. I knew I would be jealous. In addition, I was afraid I was developing some of the co-morbidities of morbid obesity myself. As of this writing (June 10, 2001) with God's help I have lost 52 pounds. I am aware of the data that shows that most weight loss methods other than WLS have a 98% failure rate, but I am praying that I will be among the 2% that manage to make a lifelong change in my eating habits without surgery.
As Doug's surgery date approaches my anxiety increases. I worry about complications, the hospital stay, and taking care of him at home afterward. Click to see how things went in the hospital.