Yoiko: Hey, Ryoga, how come you ALWAYS wear a bandanna? Ryoga: Because they come in handy in a fight, and I like them. Why? Ranma: It's the SPAMfic thing. She wants you to read the script. Ryoga: I don't want to do this SPAMfic, though. Yoiko: Just play along, Ryoga. Please??? (puppy-dog eyes) Ranma: Just think what she might write if you don't cooperate with this one. *shudder* Ryoga: Uh.... Fine. I'll do it. Yoiko: Hey, Ryoga, how come you ALWAYS wear a bandanna? Ryoga: There's a SPAMfic in that.... Combat Bandannas A How-Come fic by Cindy Toler "Come on, runt," girl-type Ranma snarled, snagging P-Chan by his bandanna and pulling him out of the stagnant water of the Tendo pond. She angrily sloshed her way to the bathroom, shucked off her dripping clothes and unceremoniously dumped the piglet into the tub a moment before jumping in herself. "I got no idea what your problem is, Ryoga," Ranma said, his voice deepening mid-sentence as the hot water reversed his curse's effect. Ryoga quickly tugged his bandanna into place as his head grew to fit it. "I mean," Ranma continued, "You were mad about the bread, and I gave you bread. Then you were mad about the curse until you saw how my curse ain't no picnic either. So what is it that keeps making you so mad? You start a fight every time you come to town!" "Ranma, you have no idea how I've suffered because of you!" Ryoga spat; the reply was so familiar, Ranma moved his lips in synch. "So what is it this time?" Ranma repeated. Unable to bear his enemy's obvious amusement, Ryoga turned his face away. "Just go away and leave me alone," he muttered sullenly. "Whatever," Ranma said a little angrily. He stood up and wrapped a towel around his hips. "I'll go get dressed and bring your clothes in." He left before Ryoga could decide whether he should thank a sworn enemy or not. Ryoga stood up after the door was closed and padded over to look at himself in the bathroom mirror, and tugged at his bandanna again to be sure it was in place. After all this time, he was finally down to the very last of his seemingly infinite supply. So far, nobody seemed to have noticed that he never threw the things anymore. He could still remember the day he discovered them, a short time after his disastrous visit to Jusenkyo. He had come so close to catching up to Ranma, but somehow the jerk had evaded him yet again.... It was a cool, misty morning when Ryoga happened upon the small village market. An old woman had a booth stocked with bandannas and scarves made of all kinds of fabrics in all the colors of the rainbow. Ryoga's attention was immediately drawn to a collection of black-and-yellow bandannas. He stepped up to touch one and drew back with a startled gasp, licking a drop of blood from his finger. "Ah, so you like my combat bandannas, eh?" the old woman said. "Combat bandannas?" "Handcrafted in an ancient family tradition; each of these possess a razor's edge. In the right hands, they can be a powerful weapon. He who would use them pays an unexpected price, however..." "I'll take them all," Ryoga said with a grim smile. He walked away, delighted with his purchases, and even more pleased that the price hadn't been all that bad. He was blissfully oblivious to the old woman's knowing laughter following him. He had barely cleared the town before he had to stop and replace his plain yellow bandanna with one of the new weapons. It felt odd, cold and heavy against his forehead. He donned several of them, one on top of the other, and noticed that they were safe enough if held by the ends. He practiced all afternoon, whipping the bandannas off and flinging them at nearby trees. He suffered several cuts on his ears and fingers, and one long scrape on his nose, before he had finally mastered the technique. Immensely satisfied, he packed up and continued on his journey. A few days later, he happened upon a larger town, and paid for some time in the public baths. That was when...that was when he discovered the true horror of the combat bandannas.... A small stream of water trickled down Ryoga's nose, and with a sigh he pulled off the last bandanna and began pressing as much water as possible out of the soaked fabric. He gazed ruefully at his reflection in the mirror, grimacing as he noted that yes, that bald streak the bandannas had worn onto his head was indeed still there. "I'll be wearing this damn thing for the rest of my life," Ryoga muttered furiously as he bound the bandanna in place again, tugging it into place to hide the bald spot. "It's all because of Ranma...." His anger renewed yet again, Ryoga vowed to punish Ranma for all that he had been made to suffer. Yoiko: That's it! ^_^ Whaddya think? Ryoga: I think I don't like your SPAMfics. Ranma: Aw, she's only made you practically impotent, stuck you in Charlotte's Web and given you a bald spot! Ryoga: Shut UP, Ranma! Ranma: You trying to tell me something, Chrome Dome? Hey, you know that bald stripe was kinda skunky-looking. Ryoga: If you don't shut your mouth, I'll do it for you! Ranma: Ready when you are, Pepe le Pew! Yoiko: (ducking as Ranma and Ryoga leap around the room trying to destroy each other) That's it, folks! ^_^ Comments, if you have any, are very welcome at yoiko-chan@mail.oocities.com With any luck, this will only be the first of the How-Come fics. Coming soon: How come Ryoga gets lost all the time? There's a SPAMfic in that... ^_~ Ranma 1/2 and all Ranma 1/2 characters are the creation and property of Rumiko Takahashi, long may she reign! |