Ottawa – It has been determined that the flag the Prime Minister Jean Chretien ceremoniously gave back to the people in February was not the original flag, at all.
The government has now mounted a huge campaign to get the flag returned. Strangely enough, only the Prime Minister and his faithful sidekick, Herb “Bubba Louie” Gray were in parliament in 1965 when the flag was first unfurled.
“Well, you can count me out when you make a list of suspects,” Gray filibustered. “It is only a piece of cloth, a piece of 35 year-old cloth for that matter!”
Chretien was equally unrepentant and declared, “Hi, certainment don’t ‘ave hit! Hafter hall, hit hisn’t de Shroud of Turin, hit his just a piece of clot!”
(I certainly don’t have it! After all, it isn’t the Shroud of Turin; it is just a piece of cloth.*)
“Oh, a dirty-five-years-old clot,” he added mistakenly.
(Oh, a thirty-five-year-old cloth.*)
Clark added mischievously, “The flag that was returned to the people was given right to Sheila Copps. Maybe someone should be asking her what happened to it.”
“Yah, dats for certainment, Chretien interjected. Hi ‘aven’t trusted ‘er wit flag since she tried to give dem away a few year hago.”
(Yes, that is correct. I haven’t trusted her with flags since she tried to give them away a few years ago.*)
In typically Canadian fashion, the government is expecting that whoever has the flag will simply return it to its rightful place. You couldn’t write anything funnier than that.
Even more peculiar is that no one suspects Brian Mulroney.
(* Loose translation from Chretienese)
