groceries

dougzone

To boldly go where no man has gone before, for groceries!

Palo Alto, CA – A US astronomer using a 12-meter (that’s metre to the rest of the world) radio telescope has found sugar in space. He detected signals that are a signature for the presence of a type of sugar molecule known as glycolaldehyde in a cloud of gas and dust that is 26 000 light-years away.

“Yeehah,” yeehahed Billy Joe Bob “Bubba” Smith-Jones, the astronomer. “This all means that we all can go to space and not worry ‘bout getting a hankering for sweets. Now we knows that there is sugar out there, there was always cheese on the moon and milk in that there Milky Way.”

No one had the nerve to suggest that going for sugar 26 000 light-years away would be equivalent to shopping at the IGA in Antarctica when there is one just down the street, not to mention the moon/cheese myth and the Milky Way misnomer.

“You see, NASA has always been concerned that long space flights would have to carry enough vittles to keep them astronauts healthy,” Smith-Jones added as he continued to impress the throng. “Now, them flyboys can just take their credit cards and shop while they’re all on route!”

Stunned reporters were reluctant to correct Prof. Smith-Jones before he had completed making a total ass of himself.

Taking no hint from the shocked faces at his press conference, Smith-Jones added in conclusion, “Of course, to keep them flyboys happy, we would have to give them some jugs so they all could collect real moonshine when they stop for the cheese.”

After Bubba left the stage, a caretaker approached the microphone and made the following statement, “I’m afraid to tell my boss that I spilled a coffee with triple Sweet’n Low on his console. I suspect that it may have affected his findings adversely. I’ll be sure to tell him tomorrow when he awakes from his private shindig.”

Boldly went for groceries?

Manager at gallactic IGA?

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