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Frenchman claims NASA has had “Close Encounters of the Sexual Kind”

Cape Canaveral, Fla. – French astronomer, Pierre Kohler, has claimed in his new book that NASA has held experiments involving males and females trying different sexual positions while in zero-gravity. NASA is denying that any such activities have ever occurred.

“We have never considered intravehicular activities like this,” NASA spokesman, Ed Campion declared almost believably. “We have only allowed women on-board shuttles to keep the women’s rights activists off our launch sites.”

“Why else would they have women flying in space,” questioned Larry Flint, the Hustler Magazine creator. “Those fly boys have had their fill of flight attendants by the time they become astronauts.”

Kohler went on to reveal that NASA has narrowed the number of positions to ten. The so-called traditional position has been deemed to be impossible in space.

Recently divorced and former movie starlet, Jane Fonda, has announced that she will free herself from her not-do-busy schedule to prove Campion wrong. “I will remake an old flick of mine called Barbarella in which there was plenty of simulated zero-gravity sex. I believe that this Frenchy is not all wet.”

Meanwhile, Canadian, pretty-boy-astronaut, Marc Garneau, has declared his disgust with the announcement. “I was up there twice and they never had a woman on-board with me, if you know what I mean. If they were going to offer spacehumping, you would think that they would have asked me to get involved, eh?”

An anonymous former female astronaut was heard to say, "Well, I guess NASA stands for 'National Aeronautic Sex Agency' after all. Why do you think they invented the name Sally Ride?"

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