dougzone

Study finds teachers are sexually abusive

Toronto – In a shocking new paper, for which the Ontario government paid $1.1 million, teachers are reported to be sexually abusive.  Apparently, Phys, Ed., music and drama teachers lead the way in this field of indecency.

“I’m absolutely stunned,” complained Janet Ecker, Minister of Education and Training. 
“For that kind of money, I would have expected that a few more of the assholes, I mean educators, should have been cited, too!”

A spokesman for the Ontario College of Teachers suggested mistakenly, “I’m pretty sure that our members are not trained in sexual abuse but if this is an area that needs to be improved then we will ram it down their throats at our earliest opportunity.  They should expect the best for their $90.00 per year membership fee that we unilaterally imposed on them.”

Charles Weightlifter, a Phys. Ed. teacher, who has been forced to teach music and drama due to cutbacks, was totally depressed.  “With this job description on my CV, I will never be able to work anywhere else.  I’m doomed to teach at this school until it is closed due mold problems, budget restrictions or sold to a private school system.  I really wish they had spent the $1.1 million on textbooks.”

Superintendent Crook, of the Toronto District School Board, was somewhat relieved by the report.  “Phew, thank goodness he only found the gym, music and drama teachers to be abusive.  I was sure it was going to be worse.  Everyone in administration used to be teachers!  Hell, the Premier, himself, was one once!”

Paid for study to have teachers rear-ended, too.

COPYRIGHT WASTE OF INC. 2000

Disappointed she didn't get her money's worth.