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So why the fuck do *you* my little smarmy reader, give a piss'n'shits about my life story? Because.. I'm Fr0zty mahfucka! The most pimp-ass, narcissistic, sheisty, shit-talkin, dickweed you'll ever have the pleasure of meeting. I fucking rock, and chances are, you don't rock HALF as much as me. You like that huh? You luv eet.
So anyway, I was a loud, annoying, temper-tantrum throwing baby as my mother recalls it. I don't really see much changed. Apparently I lived in a decent house in Tacoma, WA with my mom and dad, John Walker for the first 3 years of my life. My mom always told me it was a nice BIG ass house that she had JUST ABOUT paid off. I remember the satellite tv and the fireplace and our pool. Then of course, destiny hit me at a young age. You see, my pathetic-excuse for a father decided to quit his $15 an hour job simply because he got in an argument with his boss. My mom of course, couldn't afford the house on her own and had to sell it to buy a cheap piece of aluminum shit - affectionately dubbed a 'trailer'. It was yellow and brown too. Wicked huh? Anyway, we moved to Lacey, WA (just outside Olympia) and lived there for the next 12 years. My father became(?) very bitter and only worked a measly 2 days a week at 2 hours a day at a janitorial job that paid minimum wage. He also stopped taking me fishing and doing fun stuff, and made me take up bowling (pathetic attempt at living his dreams through his son). I liked it at first, but he soon became the overbearing asshole coach that all failed parents become. I soon started to dislike bowling after having to endure him yelling at the top of his lungs and hitting me on the ride home because my team didnt win, or because I fucked up some split. Stupid shit. Then it became any excuse he could think of to crack me one upside the head or yell at me. I got really depressed and constantly contemplated running away.
Middle school sucked. I was a depressed lonely loser that got picked on daily. I wont get too much into that, you can use your imagination. Freshman year of high school.. I found a cure for my problems. Smokin bud, Drinkin hella booze, and taking large amounts of supposively "lethal" pills. It was a fun year. Minus all the depression and goth phase and my dad beating me up for failing in school. I made good friends with this kid Matt Boozer. He was a blast to kick it with.. we fucked with EVERYONE at that school. It was a great way to get out all that repressed anger I had built up from my dad and middle school. The drug use continued heavily, so did my grades slipping, but I hardly had time to give a fuck about that when I had a 15 mini-thin-a-day habit. Mmmm legal speed. Sophomore year was nothing to talk about really, aside from the fact that me and my mother agreed to leave my father and move out on our own. I love her dearly for that and I hope that old piece of shit dies a lonely, sorry fucking excuse for a man. I still had a bunch of resentment towards my mother though, and was a dick to her, did what I want, and that was the start of my 'punk' phase. Oh yea baby. Spittin on the walls in the house, breakin things, wearin dirty clothes, playin in a punk band, and oddly enough, having a very fucking hot girlfriend named heather. Those were the days. Honestly, I dont think I've had more fun in my entire life since then. I did end up going to jail a couple times though. My first offense was for having stolen road signs. What a fucking joke huh? Second was "malicious mischeif" which is basically when you step on an ant and a cop wants to bust you for something. I threw a blank tape against a wall in a fit of anger and broke it. OOOOOH! 3rd offense was pretty serious. I had a huge screaming argument with my mammy and she was actually afraid of me so she called the police. I got charged with "Unlawful Imprisonment" because I was standing in the doorway and she supposively couldn't get out. Weak charge, but I got 2 weeks in juvenille for that shit. Whatever. I don't have any bitterness towards my mom actually, I'm glad she did it.. because that was a turning point for me. I realized I didn't want my life like this. I realized I was hurting my mother and she was the only one person in the world that would *ALWAYS* love me unconditionally, and I felt like shit. I cried when she came to see me. And I've loved my mother dearly ever since. Heart-warming huh? :)
other highlights of my life include getting a girl pregnant and having her bitch out and run away to california to have an abortion, getting my own place with a couple friends when I turned 18, hittin the strip clubs when I turned 18, various girls I fucked (well, only a couple are worth remembering..stupid whiny virgins.), failing at keeping any of those places, or any jobs for that matter, meeting Darren Jenson (the coolest fucking kid in the world), doing a show with my now-defuckt band "Sawhorse" which was fucking TIGHT, and moving to California just recently. Nothin too exciting. I could spill my ENTIRE life story, but shit if you think this is long, that'd take forever! And you dont REALLY care that much do you now? Point is I rock now, and I got a wicked 91 CRX, cute girlfriend (thats a total bitch sometimes) named Erin, and a $15 an hour job. I like California, it's nice but I need to go home. I miss my friends too much. It's been a nice 7 months and all.. but I'm saving up to swap engines on my car so I can drive it back up to WA. |
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At the age of 10 I picked up my first guitar. I had been watching Motley Crue and Poison and other assorted glam rock MTV shit for a couple years now and wanted to be a big shot rock star (of course). My parents said I could take lessons if I wanted, and I picked out a white V guitar at the local shop (which doesnt deserve a plug here). I played for a while but couldnt figure out why I couldn't sound like them. I gave up. A couple years later, still heavily into music I tried to pick up bass. I liked it cause I could do some of the same things as my favorite rock stars. I felt like a big man. I wrote lotsa shitty songs I dont remember, and I learned a jazz line from Phil mahfuckn' Quigley. I then came across fx pedals. That's why I sounded like shit on guitar, I was playing clean! Fuck playing clean! So I bought a Buzz Box (which I still own and love) and various other pedals, and eventually got back into guitar. I started collecting fx pedals left and right. I currently have about 12. After going through a couple fender strats (everyone's first guitar) I bought an Ibanez SG that I played through a marshall valvestate. It was pretty tight. At this point I had mostly only been into speed metal (slayer n shitz) and weird stuff. Some techno. Some rap. And a lotta punk. My first band with Matt was punk. FAST fucking punk. "Suck Puppet" .. ah I miss that. block is hot stay bumpn ya bitch. Anyway, I found out from this guy Tim (aka suffer on IRC) that you can make music on the computer. I was amazed and downloaded Cool Edit immediately. 2 years later I finished my first album of weird fucking music and have yet to title it. Soon after I finished a Dance EP in about a week when I was sick and my ankle was fucked up from trippin over a curb when I was drunk and on X on new years and trying to hold up a drunk chick that I was gunna go screw. Anyway, I couldnt move around much so I just sat around on vicodin and finished that album. Unfortunately they're both on my computer back home in WA, so you'll all have to wait before I blow up a MUNT page where you can hear em. I'm still currently working on some beats but my cool edit expired. Oh well. Sawhorse was the only band I did a show in. I played guitar and sang and I traded off bass and sang backup halfway through the set. Ryan played Bass and traded Guitar with me. Krabo (the 6'6 french crankhead) played drums. We rocked. We had funny little costumes and jumped around the stage a lot. I nearly passed out and my neck was sore for about a week afterwards. It rocked. Plus I smoked a couple joints and got a really hot chicks number after the show. Being a rock star rules! I currently have no band, but I do have a Bc Rich WARLOCK which fucking rules all. MUNT is still in effect, but it is in Darren's hands for the meantime. |
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I currently listen to a lot of WiLD 94.9 the BAY AREA'S PARTY STATION BAYBEEEEEE! Yep. And Tom Leykis cuz he fuckn rocks. He's on AM 1550 if you're in the san francisco bay area and can't find him. As far as bands I'm into I really love mindless self indulgence, and I also really like big tymers, aphex twin, Jay-Z, nelly, converge, botch, slayer, vision of disorder, REALLY LOVE the ataris, New found glory, eminem, u-ziq, Alice deejay, bigwig, vandals, guttermouth, lagwagon, twisted sister, motley crue, b-52's, Mr. Bungle, Fenix TX, blink-182, Limp Bizkit, Juvenile, Melvins, Christina Aguilera, Tommy Roe, the Archies, Sugarloaf, Dead Kennedys, the O, Failure, Oleander, SLAYER, Lit, and probably a few others I can't think of right now.
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