Ok, so erin has a rant section on her page where she bitches when we dont get along. I just read hers for the other day and I'm so upset right now with everything in general that I feel like writing. Here's the article she wrote. To start off, I hate fighting too. Why do I fight with Erin? Because she does so many fucked up things that you just don't do in a relationship. If this were strictly a sexual thing I wouldn't give a shit what she did, but this is something serious. 7 months means a lot tome. that's longer than I've ever been with anyone. I don't think she understands that she means the whole world to me. I think she takes that for granted because we're always together and she forgets that I actually do tend to feel things. A lot of it could be like she said, that we're so alike. It's scary sometimes how we can come up with the exact same things at the exact same time. It's like we're always on the same level. No matter what goes down we have this feeling inside that we know what the other person is feeling. The only question is, why does she ignore that? Did she not think I'd be upset with her going to see some guy in Canada that she ran to everytime we argued at first, that she told she LOVED on the phone, that she hung up pictures of almost as if she was braggin "ohlook what kinda guy I can get isnt he so hot and buff?" and then finally LYING and going to see him after we agreed she wouldn't talk to him while we were together? I'm sure she got on the plane thinking I'd love that. I don't really wanna get into this though. That's not the reason we fight, unless we're fighting about that issue. The reason we fight is because like she said she's irrational. She knows how to act, she knows how to make me feel appreciated, yet she chooses to ignore it because to her it makes more sense to yell at me and start a HUGE fight simply because I give her advice on how to cope with things. That makes no sense. I hate the way her mind works so much that I'm ready to scrap this whole fucking relationship and cut her out of my life forever. Another thing is this whole issue with her best friend. I'm not going to get into that cause its no ones business and I'm not one to reveal issues about a person without their consent, but what I have a hard time with is why she INTENTIONALLY puts herself in situations where she'll be reminded, then goes on for days horribly depressed about it and treating everyone like shit? I told her to get away from it. I told her forget that family, forget the incident, forget everything and find yourself. Then she yelled at me and said I was "blowing things out of proportion". I asked what she was doing for lunch. She said she was gunna sit there and asked what I wanted to do. I told her I wanted to see her but I was afraid she'd just be a grump and start shit with me. Then I get this "Oh yea, you know me, well you might as well not bother then!" and of course something so stupid as usual spirals into a big fucking fight ending with one of us crying or threatning to leave. WE are not pigheaded idiots like she said. I know what I want, I know how I expect to be treated, and I don't stand for this you-have-to-take-my-shit-because-im-a-victim crap. I don't care what her fucking excuse is. I expect to be appreciated in a relationship. If she's upset, I told her, come to me and we'll talk. Does she? No. She goes to Brad. She goes to Matt. She goes to Kim. But never ONCE has she come to me. She just takes her frustration out by starting arguments with me. I also think the reason we argue, in a nutshell is because she cannot possibly say "Ya know what you're right.." She can't say "Yes, I am selfish and I'm sorry." She can't admit she did anything wrong. And when you prove it so clearly, she changes the subject or shifts the blame by saying I'm putting her down or namecalling or some stupid shit like that. Also because I feel everything is a double-standard (thats normal though) she can do all this fucked up shit to me, but the minute I call her an "asshole" for sitting in front of the tv (as a completely OBVIOUS joke) then it becomes another big fight. I DONT WANT TO FIGHT ANYMORE. I DONT CARE WHAT YOUR REASON OR EXCUSE IS. I DONT CARE WHATS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE. I TRIED AND YOU WOULDNT LET ME. all I fucking want is to hold you and FORCE YOU TO FORGET THIS SHIT AND FOCUS ON YOUR LIFE so that you can be happy and stop treating people like shit just because you don't know how to handle what your feeling inside. God. I hate relationships.
why do I get mad when we go to San Francisco? Because she makes me drive. I don't know where I'm going and she doesn't either. She doesn't plan a route in advance, we just go and she goes "GO THERE.." or "TURN THERE!" right when I'm on top of the turn, forcing me to cut across lanes and traffic and risk killing us both. I've told her countless times I hate that shit, and to just tell me when we're COMING UP ON A TURN. But no, everytime.. same thing. And given, that S.F. has probably like the second highest population in America.. it's kinda hard ya know? Considering its a huge cluster-fuck of roads and you can drive hours just trying to find a single fucking place where you can STOP THE CAR. I'm sorry. Driving among a million other drivers tends to stress me a little. Doesn't help that she gets disappointed/depressed when we can't find something and then decides to take everything I say (even if its just "wow thats a big building) as a personal shot at her. Then she gets defensive and angry with me. Or she'll do one of those telling-me-to-turn-at-the-last-minute things and yell at me when I tell her how much I hate that. Seriously.. I can't handle driving in that much traffic in a HUGE city I know nothing aboot. You try driving in New York City when you've been there maybe twice in your whole life and go for hours trying to find ONE place and tell me you would not be stressed. Thats why I ask her to drive. But she never does.. it always ends up me driving. Then she wonders why we argue everytime we go to that goddamn city. Everytime it's happened, I tell her I can't take anymore and get out somewhere and let her drive. She drives, I calm down, and we have a good time. It also doesnt help that she pulled over and ran off in the middle of the ghetto just because she wouldn't answer a single question. I swear to god it's like she's poking a pissed off alligator with a sharp stick then crying like a baby and throwing tantrums when it bites her. I hate to say it, but that's really fucking stupid. (translated in Erin as "He just said *I'm* really fucking stupid. I hate him how could he call me that?") Whatever. You don't piss someone off and then cry when they yell at you. I make no apologies for what happened in S.F. other than I'm sorry burger king wasn't good enough for you after we drove around for 2 hours trying to find somewhere to eat hoping that we'd calm down before killing each other. Oh well, I tried.
Like my friend said, "Dont go out with bitches then complain about how they're being a bitch"