So I'm sitting in the bathroom this morning and I'm taking a massive shit, cuz espresso and cap'n'crunch will roll right fuckn through ya like an enchilada and heineken. So *SOMEONE* comes in and goes into the stall next to me to shit. I guess that it's the ofa since he's usually always shitting, fuckin shitter. Anyway, I hear him grunt and immediately know that I was right in my guess. I try not to laugh as I let my shit fly right outta my dirty ass. It makes quite a few loud PBBBTTBTBTs and little wind-fart noises.. Pfffft pssshhh! Like some loose-assed faggot. Or some animal being hit by a car on the freeway. Anyway, He grunts a little louder and starts to let his ass blaze. I'm thinkin, "Oh this fucker wants to rumble.." Sooo I do what any good american-bred man would do, and LET MY ASS EXPLODE. Straight shittin contest. I grunted louder and deeper than I ever have as well, squinted my eyes and pushed as hard as I could, PUSHED until I felt my goatee tingling with erotic joy, broke a sweat, grunted my hardest some more, and lo and behold - I FUCKING WON. That'll teach ya.. you little bitch! Next time you wanna do battle.. you look at who ya wantin ta see.. OFA - You weren't the first. I won many-a shittin contest. YOU CANT STOP ME. I'm A FUCKING MAD SHITTER! I do battle with any maofuckah. I fuck fo a hambugga.