So..... The other day I took a strole through my neighborhood on my way to the local park. I was about half way when these three horrible looking men approched me. one of the men said " hey look, isnt this a unicorn?" The other two men looked at eachother with confusion, "whats a unicorn?" "this is a unicorn!" and with the swiftness of the wind the man jumped on to my back. "Im a cowboy, ye haw!" I started to buck around trying to get him off.. He finally fell to the ground with a loud thud. I took of as fast as my legs would take me, the men chased shortly behind. The were yelling and cussing at me and tried to grab at my tail. I accidently knocked over an old lady pushing a baby in a stroller. She fell on the ground and rolled into the street, the stoller flew into the air and lande on one of the men chasing me. I turned a corner and noticed that I was traped in a dead end alley, and the men were right behind me. I looked for a way out but found none. " Hey you weird horse! That was pretty fucked up throwing a baby at me, and that old lady triped a gang of bikers, they looked pretty pissed." i nayed as they rushed me, one of them pulling a lether belt off. They surronded me, kicking and whipping my tender legs. All I could do was nay. I felt something enter into my rectum and the man say, "you like that huh Bitch?" The only time I have ever had anything in my rectum was when I was sick and a kind nurse came to the ranch and stuck a thin tube up there and left it for a minute, I remember it being uncomfortable, but this was down right painful at least she used vasoline, this man was spitting. "Nay!" I tried to get away but I was stuck on either end, i move back I get reemed with an unpleasent feeling of discust and pervertion. My mouth seemed to be stuck on something, something hard and warm pushing back and forth against my teeth. When I tried to pull away the man would moan and shake his head violently. "Yeah, suck that cock.....uh.. make me a witch!" He said as he shoved a finger into my nostril and pulled up on it. "Nay!" I started to cry and moan, that just made the man go in and out faster. Grabing my ears and knockin something danggling between his legs into my chin... It started to become painful, and thats when he poured something hot and sticky down my throat, I gagged and regurjitated it back up on to the man's thighs. " Ha ha ha, is that the best you can do after I raped your face, you stupid unicorn! Hahahahaha." The man reeming my rectum stoped, he came and faced me, "smell....*sniff*....mmmmm, you know what that is, thats is unicorn shit on my fingers, your shit..hahahahahahahahahaha! You are the stupidest unicorn ever." He shoved them in my nose so I could get a better smell of my own fecal juices. I already know my own smell. The third man hade just sat there and watched all this happen, I thought to my self, oh no he is gonna do something really bad to me. Why? What have I done to these guys? Nothing, I have done nothing and they had probed me in my rectum and in my mouth, and now what? What are they going to do now? Time could only tell. We must have sat there for a good twenty minutes when the man who had done nothing spoke. "So.... your a unicorn huh? You ever have sex with a man's ass with that there shinny horn aloft your ugly head?" and thats when I noticed he had been staring at my ravishing horn the whole time imagining dirty things with it. I cried at the thought of someone misusing my beutiful horn that uniquly identified unicorns from dirty horses. Horses eat grass and stink and have sex with humans. Unicorns were grafull and fed upon the pedals of roses and ran wild through the mist of the dew dropped un habbited fields of a mysic and wonderous fantasy world, and the horn represented peace and love through all eternity. While horses dont represent anything like I do. I sat there crying and thinking, and something in side rushed through and out of me like a bolt of lightnig thrown by the god of thunder himself and came to my lips. " No you can not ingage in sexual intercorse with my horn thank you very much...." "Oh yeah you stupid unicorn, think your so fuckin smart. Well I'll tell you something wise ass, I didnt ask for you permission, hahahaha I was just gonna do it and hope that you wouldnt impale me on it rupshering internal organs suffering a slow and painful death because I thought that sex with a unicorn horn would be interesting, catch my drift... fuck face!" He slapped bolth me a high five, and I mean high. They actually jumped to reach eachothers palms. While they gleafully slapped hands I headed for the streets for a clean getaway. "Got dammit! It's getting away..." they stood there, the man turned to his fellow men and said in a very calm voice. " You had better chace that fuckin unicorn so I can have sex with it's horn... or I'm gonna have sex with your FACE! go go go" The men took off running trying to catch up with me, with my head star it seemed almost imposible. Untill a ruthless gang of wrecked bikers ahead spoted me coming towards them and tackled me to the ground with the help of an old lady. "Hey that's our horse, and if you don't mind we'll kindly take it of your hands." One of the approching men said, I'm pretty sure it was the one who wanted to ingage in sexual intercorse with my horn, but I couldn't tell, my head was between a pair of large comfy pillows and a hard peice of metal with rubber circles on it. "This is your unicorn is it, well aint that a bitch for you." The biker leader said, I could see now, and the back of his jacket said "Biker Leader". " Cuz we are gonna have to punish you for letting this "out of control" (quoting with his fingers) unicorn run wild, nocking over old ladies into the streets were a biker gang, MY biker gang can trip over her and wreck our brand new stolen biker bikes. I think we are gonn have you fellas run the biker gauntlet, MY BIKER GAUNTLET! Not some other bikers gauntlet, witch I've found some to be good but not as rithless as mine...hehehehehe. Alright" They picked up ther bikes, the leader placed me in his side cart while the three men were tied up to the back of bikes and forced to run. " I am not running, I am to intelecualy atequet for this. I refuse." Thehorn poker said. "Your to intelectu... what, I don't give a fuck what you are, your running, you know why?" "Why?" "Beacuse I'm the fucking Biker Leader, thats why!" "All right Biker Leader take us to the gauntlet, and make it snappy." "Ok....." The Biker Leader turned to me with a look of self rightiuos vigalence. A snear apeard upon his lip as he pulled back the throttle letting the engine roar like a satanic twelve year old virgin thumbing a dead parrot, how I know this, I don't. We must a drivin for a good day and a half non stop till we reached an old shack high in the mountains almost secluded except for a cow and a water pump. "Hold on for just one second there you delicious slab of unicorn meat. I'll only be a minute." I placed his hand over his mouth and whispered to me. "The old lady." He walked past the cow and hoked a decent sized lugy onto the cows back side." hahaha stupid cow." He entered the shack and came out a fast as went in. " alright fellas, to the gauntlet." The well dressed horn admirer spoke out. "What the hell, this isn't the gauntlet?" "No" The Biker leader said looking around for a laugh. "then what the hell are we doing here?" "Uh.. I was talkin to my old lady, as if it were any of your business." Lookin around for a laugh, and when he saw that no one thought he was as funny as he thought he stomed around in the water pumps gathered mud and screamed. "We are almost there. Geeze." Every one got bake onto there stolen motor cycles and followed the leader to a small trail past the cows tree fort. "On your left" The Leader announced, "Is the cow's tree fort I built when I was an alcoholic, the funny thing about it is..... I'm still an alcoholic,hehehehe." What a strange day I thought to myself.... We followed the trail up the side of the mountain and when we reached the top we stoped. "Get out you juicy peice of unicorn ass." I got out and stood there waiting for what ever is suppose to happen next. "Here we are girls, the gauntlet." "Were?" "Here. Don't you see it?" "No! What am I suppose to be looking at?" The man who wanted my horn for anal pleasure asked. "The Gauntlet! Geeze are you all a buch of fucking idiots, you cant see that the gauntlet consists of you jumpin of this cliff and plumating to your death while I take your unicorn and ride my stolen biker bike into the sunset?" "Oh...now i see....This is the stupidest gauntlet ever." "Thats what you think." The biker leader said looking around for yet another laugh. One og the three men stepped up to the edge and leaped off screaming to the bottom were he faced his brutal ending. "I didn't tell you guys to jump yet, I kinda wanted you all to do it at once, it's a lot quicker that way." My mouth was a bout as for open as a girls snatch that makes sex a living. I couldn't believe what I had just seen. It shoked me, to see a man whillingly jump to his death and not think twice about it. "Alright now you both jump, and I want you to do it at the same time. On the count of three...." "One, two three....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The horn humpers remaining friend said as he jumped to his death. "ON MY COUNT YOU FUCKIN ASS HOLE!!!!!" "Can I have one request before I jump?" "Depends, what is it?" "UMMM, can I have that there unicorn, the one over there with it's eyes crossed scratching it's side with an abandoned rack I'm guessing left by a farmer who at one time fermed up here and le..." "NO!" "Can't grant a man's dying wish?" "Jump, and if you miracuosly survive....then yes, but I'm gonna be very scared and probably try to kill you, and if i cant kill you, then yes, you can horn fuck my unicorn..." "I'll be back to claim my reward." and with those ladt words the well educated man back fliped of the edge and screamed to his bloody death waiting for him bellow. The Bikers took me to there secret hideout and made me there slave, I've learened to except it, but I'm not particularly happy with how things turned out till the day my hero showed up. At the entrance to the biker hideout ( witch was just a cave in a hill side) stood a shadowy figure, he mummbled something I couldnt understand then opened fire on the gang killin everybody but the cow and the Biker Leader of course. "So I see you survived the gauntlet? Well you know what I said, you can do your horn fucking after I kill you." "Actually, you said I could do my horn fuckin after i kill you." "Oh yeah, your right. But, your going to do no horn fuckin, cuz I'm gonna kill you." "Well then, lets fight." The men rushed eachother bare fisted and began pumaling one onother. At first the Biker was winning then the well dressed unicorn horn humper then the biker then the well dressed unicorn humper till the well dressed unicorn humper stood above the biker yelling and cursing, he picked up a peice of fire wood and raised, just as he was about to smash the biker leader's head in the cow came to his rescue. He bull-dogged the well dressed unicorn horn humper and took the peice of fire wood away and bashed his head in with it yelling and cussing. Then stood up on his back to legs and approached the Biker Leader. " I am about fuckin tired of you spittin on me every time you walk by me, and I'm esspecially tired of you lifting up my tail and spitting on my ass hole. So I'm gonna bash your head in with this slightly over sized peice of fire wood till your dead, then I'm gonna steal your stolen biker's bike and ride into the sunset with that there beutiful young lady." "But that young lady is dead, she has been riddled with bulletts by that guy" he pointed to the well dressed unicorn horn humper. " You killed him, and now your gonna ride into the sunset with a dead girl killed by the guy you killed? Thats weird, oh and I'm sorry about spitting in your ass hole, I thought It was funny at the time.. nut not now, not any more. Hey if you let me live I' will never spit on you again, and hey you like this.... I'll build a second story on your cow tree fort. Ok" "I'm not talkin about that dead lady over there... I'm talkin about the unicorn." "Oh.... why?" "Cuz I'm in love with the unicorn, I want to have anal sex with her horn." "Oh my God! your that well dressed unicorn horn humper." "Thats right." and with that the cow unzipped itself and the well dressed unicorn horn humper stepped out to reveal him self. He lifted the peice of fire wood and brought it down on the Biker leaders face. "Stop Stop" The Biker leader bellowed. "WHAT!" "uhhhhhh hhhhhh.....How? How, I just want to know how?" "Its to hard to explain, I'll just bash your head in for you instead." BASH! I ran up to the well dressed unicorn horn humper and he took me in his arms.... We gazed into eachothers eyes, and that when I received my first kiss. It was ammazing, it lifted me of my feet, i felt as if I were floting in nothingnes forever, I never wanted to come down until he slipped me the tounge. Everything came rushing back to reality. I stood there amidst the gore and perverstion and started to cry. "I love you." "What?" I whinned. "I said I love you, and if you will do me the honor I want to take your hand in marriage. So will you, will you marry me?" I paused and stared into his eyes, I saw the chaotic future of horn sex he had instore for me, but I have never had anybody tell me they loved me before, so I said the only logical thing I could think of. "YES! Yes I'll marry you, and I''l even let you have sexual intercorse with my horn. You have mad me the most desperate for happiness unicorn in the entire world. I love you too." and as fast as you can say golden shower the two were hitched, and lived hppily sodomizingly ever after..... END!