December 6, 1997

THE TRINK PAGE

Responses from readers

As no survey has been conducted of the number of prostitutes in the Realm, people have felt free to pull figures out of the ether to support their respective views. I've heard numbers ranging from under 100,000 to over three million.

My own guess is one per cent of the female population - 300,000. I am not trying to exaggerate the low amount or play down the high one, much less split the difference.

Several readers dispute my estimate for being far short of the mark. As well as question my support of the minority view in the Aids controversy. Excerpts - edited for space considerations only - from their letters, e-mail and faxes follow:

- "33,000 were tracked in Japan in 1994. Hong Kong and Singapore are crawling with Thai prostitutes. The Reeperbahn in Hamburg is another place where Thai prostitutes are in ample supply. In the watering holes around the Banhoffstrasse in Zurich is another good place to stumble over Thai prostitutes, and Geneva is not to be outdone either.

"Take a stroll on the Unter dem Linden in Berlin and you have no problem spotting Thai prostitutes. Brussels and Antwerp are favourite hangouts of Thai prostitutes. The Oudezeide Achterburgwal in Amsterdam and all the red-light streets running off it have no shortage of Thai prostitutes. Rotterdam is another good place to spot Thai prostitutes.

"Sex for sale was available at 5,754 locations throughout Thailand employing 67,067 prostitutes, according to a Public Health Ministry survey during 1994 - presumably higher in 1997.

"Deputy Health Minister Udomsilp Srisaengnam said 21 different types of entertainment places provided sex, including restaurants, hotels, bungalows, night clubs, beer bars, discotheques, coffee shops, cocktail lounges, massage parlours and beauty parlours.

"Make serious observations in shopping centres that have large areas for strolling, sitting and, in general, hanging around such as The Mall, Seacon Square, Seri Centre, Central Bang Na, just to name a few. Also available are salesgirls in the cosmetic booths of shopping malls and girl caddies on golf courses. And what are minor wives if not prostitutes? All in all, your figure of 300,000 is unrealistic."

- "What I would like to ask is how many girls of the 30 million in Thailand have ever worked in the sex industry? This would be a more interesting and revealing figure. Given the number who work overseas, the number who have died, the number who were in the industry but have, for whatever reason, moved on, how do you think the numbers would change? Double? Triple? Maybe even more?"

- "What you write about HIV could be true or could be wrong. You have your right to write what you feel. I am a medical doctor and I don't know what is right or wrong, but I enjoy what you write."

- "I find much of interest in reading the articles of the minority view of the HIV community, but I also find a lot of BS there. Now, unless you subscribe to the theory that thousands of researchers around the world are engaged in a magnificent conspiracy to enrich the coffers of the pharmaceutical community (in which case there is no sense in talking to you) you can not completely disregard the majority opinion.

"Sir, you do a great disservice to yourself and to your readers by espousing the fringe opinion in HIV research." (An MD.)

A reader's definition. Elecelleration - the mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button, the faster it will arrive.

"MADRID" James has set up a schwarma outside King's Garden (Patpong 2). It makes chicken kabab exclusively, served in pita bread - 50 baht and filling. Operating hours are 5 p.m. to 6 a.m. Eat it anywhere inside or outside KG, with a beer ordered from there. 'Nuff said.

THE word on the street is that the Pink Panther (Patpong 2) has changed hands, from one Frenchman to another. A-Go-Go remains the format.

COFFEE doesn't mind if you wake up at 3 a.m. and decide to have some...

HOLLYWOOD 2 BAR (third floor, Nana Entertainment Plaza), run by Kevin and Anton, has gotten off to a flying start. It offers two pool tables, A-Go-Go, shower shows and TV. There's also a mezzanine. Drop up.

IN the Philippines (Angeles City), David Fischer has started four operations - A-Go-Go bars Voodoo and Lollipop; Mudbone's, a sports bar with pool tables, darts and a patio for drinking and dining; Kokomo's, a 625 sq. metre all purpose complex with round-the-clock food, business centre, internet cafe, small disco, balcony bar, travel agency and money changer. Visits are in order. And thanks for all the puffs.

TIME was when the most attractive demimondaines in Fun City could be found in the nitery entertainment areas. Then the cream of the crop were enticed by substantially higher incomes to become receptionists in membership clubs and the Japanese oases of Thaniya Road. Leaving the second, third and fourth-ranked to offer their wares as bar girls/Go-Go dancers.

To be sure some are pretty enough, yet the majority - in face and/or figure - are sex objects only in the farthest stretch of the imagination. A punter, recommended one by a mamasan for extra-curricular activities, replied: "Maybe later. I'm not drunk enough yet." While another punter, sizing up his recommended partner, said: "If she were the last woman on earth, I would take a vow of celibacy." Cases of "TIT" (This Is Thailand).

THE new beer bar (corner of Soi Cowboy and Soi Asoke), run by Bernd, is named Piccolo. A sign to that effect will go up shortly.

THE 2 a.m. closing time is still in effect on Soi Cowboy, except for Country Road Bar which carries on 90 minutes longer.

CONFUCIUS says: Man who keep feet firmly on ground has trouble putting on pants.

A sponsor has just stepped forward to finance the 1998 Shrimp calendar, so it is coming out after all - in January. For more information and orders, e-mail shrimp@mozart.inet.co.th or fax 662-258-7111.

WHY is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

READERS, in the Kingdom and abroad, offering to send me news for this column are welcome to do so. They should keep in mind that (1) no fee will be paid; (2) they are not to pass themselves of as my assistants or associates; (3) I will evaluate every item for readership interest; (4) if I find the information untrue, I'll not use anything further from that contributor. Need I say more?

HAVE you noticed that Foodland no longer stocks locally brewed Guinness stout? Who does, I wonder?

PRICES of imported paperbacks are rising, from 185-210 baht to 225-245 baht. Oh, well.

HOW many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands...

IF you want to learn how to write, read, pronounce and understand Thai the latest version of the multimedia CD-ROM Thai language course is now available. The programme was initially written by US Army specialist Matthew Courage for Army use here, but since retiring to civilian life he moved to Australia and set up a company which developed the commercial version. Those wishing the CD may fax Danny Speight of Proglen Trading Co Ltd at 721-6295.

BERNARD LEVIN said it: "I have always maintained that whether a black cat crossing your path is lucky or unlucky depends on whether you are a man or a mouse."

KIM FLETCHER is helming Jools Bar and Restaurant (Soi 4, opposite the Ra-Jah Hotel) tomorrow through Tuesday. On Monday, he'll be hosting the Pattaya United Football Supporters Club at Jools. Free bar snacks to all from 6:30 p.m. Anyone wishing to join as a player or supporter welcome.

ACTORS and actresses I missed seeing on the screen in 1997 - Klaus Maria Brandauer, Rutger Hauer, Chow Yun Fat, Susan Sarandon, Helen Mirren, Jane Fonda, Woody Allen and Mel Brooks.

A Portuguese wine shop will open on Rama V Road (near the Galaxy) midmonth. I'll keep you Posted.

MESSAGE seen on a T-shirt: "I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight."

LEGALLY imported Marlboro cigarettes are no longer available in shops, but the smuggled variety is offered by vendors. Restaurants and bistros would be well advised not to touch them with a barge-pole. The Excise people, pretending to be ordinary customers, ask the eating place owners and publicans to sell them a few packs. The money handed over, they flash their credentials and point out that the packs have no tax stamps. The fines are horrendous. A word to the wise.

YOU know it's going to be a bad day when you have to borrow from your Visa to pay off your Mastercard.

WHAT was the legal marriage age in ancient Rome? According to L.M. Boyd, columnist in the San Francisco Chronicle,16 for males and 12 for females.

A reader's oxymoron. Scheduled spontaneity.

TIGER WOODS will play in the Johnnie Walker Classic golf tournament at the Blue Canyon Country Club (Phuket) January 20-25, 1998.

A reader's aphorism. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

A sign of the times. Motorcycle-taxi drivers are demanding higher fares, giving inflation as the reason.

I hear-tell that the Immigration Office (Soi Suan Phlu) has cleaned up its act and tea-money isn't necessary for what you need and want, but requisite documentation is. A residence permit? December is a good month for applying, though whether the annual quota for your country is still open remains to be seen. Keep in mind that the fee is 50,000 baht - payable when the permit is handed over, not before.

IT'S IN Sole Survivor by Dean Koontz: "Eternal life was not an article of faith but a law of the universe as true as any law of physics.

"The universe is an efficient creation: matter becomes energy; energy becomes matter; one form of energy is converted into another form; the balance is forever changing, but the universe is a closed system from which no particle of matter or wave of energy is ever lost.

"Nature not only loathes waste but forbids it. The human mind and spirit, at their noblest, can transform the material world for the better; we can even transform the human condition, lifting ourselves from a state of primal fear, when we dwelled in caves and shuddered at the sight of the moon, to a position from which we can contemplate eternity and hope to understand the works of God.

"Light cannot change itself into stone by an act of will, and stone cannot build itself into temples. Only the human spirit can act with volition and consciously change itself; it is the only thing in all creation that is not entirely at the mercy of forces outside itself, and it is, therefore, the most powerful and valuable form of energy in the universe.

"For a time, the spirit may become flesh, but when that phase of its existence is at an end, it will be transformed into a disembodied spirit once more.

"All religions are valid to the extent that they recognise the existence of a created universe and a Creator - but then they bog down in elaborate interpretations of what God expects of us.

"What's wanted of us is to work together to learn, to understand, to peel the layers of the universe, to find God... and in the process to become His equals."

BUT, I DON'T GIVE A HOOT!