December 20, 1997

THE TRINK PAGE

Intransigent opinions

B e r n a r d T r i n k

It's a fact of life that people, whether they have a string of university degrees or barely made it through high school, have opinions of just about everything. Firm, set-in-granite viewpoints that they absolutely will not change. By the same token those who disagree are dead wrong, morons, fools.

If their opinions were based on lengthy study and analysis, I'd say their views carried some weight. But all too often they are formed by instinct or singular experiences blown out of proportion so that it applies to the whole. And there is little or no thought involved, making such judgments worthless.

Other variations: "I know what I know"; "I know what I like"; "You can't tell me that"; "It stands to reason"; "My sainted mother told me. Are you calling her a liar?"; "It's as certain as the sun coming up in the morning."

What is certain is that throughout recorded history people believed in a good deal of nonsense: that the earth was flat; the philosopher's stone turned base metals to gold; the last thing a dying person saw was imprinted in his eyes; illness was punishment for embracing the devil; bathing was evil.

Detractors of The Warren Commission Report scoff at its conclusion that Lee Harvey Oswald alone assassinated President John Kennedy. "How could he have fired three accurate rounds from his catalogue-bought Italian rifle?" Their conspiracy theory includes the FBI, CIA, Mafia and Cubans. What they overlook is that this combination is inconceivable. They are intransigent nevertheless.

"Spanish" flu killed millions in Europe and America in 1919, a pandemic in the truest sense of the word. The sum total of Aids deaths over a period of 17 years pales by comparison, even in Africa where they perish from any number of other diseases. Yet there are those, doctors and scientists among them, who predict that the plague is coming. So is the end of the world, for that matter.

The Japanese deny that the Rape of Nanking (December 1937-January 1938) in which at least 300,000 Chinese were slaughtered, about the same number as the victims of the nuclear bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined, occurred.

Film, photographs and survivors' accounts are rejected out of hand.

A local woman I know insists that all Laotians are dishonest. When I asked how she arrived at this conclusion, she recounted how she had crossed the Mekong and had agreed on a fare to be taken to the capital. But upon reaching Vientiane, the cabbie demanded more, resulting in a lengthy argument. She ended up paying the higher figure and based on that one incident, her opinion of all the people there became jaundiced.

Single unfavourable encounters tend to take in the entire population. To the visitor mugged in Rio de Janeiro, all Brazilians are robbers. To the tourist in Bangkok charged 2,000 baht for dropping a cigarette butt in the street - negotiated to 1,000 baht - all Thais are corrupt. To the American who couldn't make himself understood in Paris, all Frenchmen are unfriendly.

That you appreciate opera doesn't mean that the next fellow does. He may go for Broadway musicals. Your calling him a philistine isn't going to change his mind any more than his calling you an egghead would change yours. And you would do well to keep your opinion to yourself when you order steak with a rich sauce and he pours ketchup over his. There is no accounting for taste.

[*] DURING the seven months off-tourist season annually locals and residents are apprehensive that visitors from abroad will fail to show up during the remaining five months, but they always come and are doing so yet again. The favourable exchange rate for them now is but a minor reason for their arrival. They come because Thailand has much to offer. Welcome to one and all.

[*] CLOSED several days for renovations, Cleopatra Bar (second flood of the Bat Boat, Patpong 2) has reopened. A-Go-Go remains the format.

[*] COSMOS CLUB (Patpong 2), run by Vinai, will be handing out key-chains to imbibers on Xmas Eve.

[*] A reader's definition. Blamestorming - sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

[*] PRETTY GIRL BAR (Nana Entertainment Plaza), run by Jip, will have an Xmas Eve party. Free European food from 6 p.m. Special Santa Claus show. All are invited.

[*] RAINBOW Bars 1&2 (NEP) will have holiday festivities - special shows and entertainment - December 24-31 from 7 p.m. Mosey on over.

[*] BE sure to catch Jim Davison's 98.5 FM radio show "Anything Goes" tomorrow night at 9:05. You can enjoy the whole Judy Garland-Liza Minnelli show from London's Palladium - live! A must.

[*] IF Paul Mack, who used to do tarot card readings at the various niteries reads this, or if anybody knows of his whereabouts, please contact his concerned brother Damian McMenamin at e-mail address <

[*] SIGN in a subcontinent maternity ward: "No children allowed."

[*] VIRGO BAR (Soi Cowboy) didn't open this year and is unlikely to open in 1998, yet its monthly rent keeps being paid. You figure it.

[*] LONG GUN 1 Bar is packed out while Long Gun 2 Bar (both run by Mint, Soi Cowboy) can't attract flies is because the former has prettier lasses and more of them. A simple explanation and true.

[*] TURNING the Golden Mile into a walking street from 7 p.m.-midnight has received a thumbs down from South Pattaya's publicans and shopkeepers. Their complaint is that with motorcycles and baht-buses barred, people stroll in the middle of the street rather than on the sidewalks and are less apt to enter a watering hole, tailor shop, jewellery store, etc.

[*] A Walking Street committee's been formed and has organised a Food & Beer Festival which is held every weekend during those hours. Tables and food stands are set up along the street. It is sponsored by Singha, who provides all the tables and draught beer. Entrepreneurs are invited to reserve one or more tables to sell food and drinks at 100 baht per table per night. Part of the proceeds will be used as scholarship funds for poor students in Pattaya schools.

[*] BOURBON STREET Bar & Restaurant (Washington Square), run by Doug and Darrell, will feature its traditional all-you-can-eat Xmas buffet - turkey, ham and all the trimmings - on Xmas Eve from 6 p.m. and on Xmas Day from 3 p.m. on. The tab is 450 baht per adult, 350 baht per child under 12 plus 10 per cent service charge.

[*] ALL of the first class caravansaries in the Realm will be serving Xmas Day meals. Go to the hotel of your choice and enjoy.

[*] A T-shirt message: "Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."

[*] ALL King's Group oases (Patpong area) will have an Xmas Eve party from 7 p.m. Special shows all night. Door prizes and free drinks at midnight.

[*] DON'T pick a fight with a barmaid when there are regulars around. A lush on his first - and last - visit to a Patpong Road bistro tossed a glass of beer in her face. Much the worse for wear, he was dumped on the sidewalk. A case of "TIT" (This Is Thailand).

[*] DOWN Phuket way at Ned Kelly's, run by "Big" Joe and "Big" John, "Big" John will celebrate his birthday on December 23 and the bell will ring.

[*] SANTA CLAUS will be at Rock Hard A-Go-Go on December 24 and Rock Hard Cafe'll serve a traditional tom turkey Xmas dinner.

[*] FUJI Supermarket (Soi 33, off Sukhumvit) sells Guinness stout, 47 baht a small bottle. I'll drink to that.

[*] A reader asserts that sex on television can't hurt, unless you fall off.

[*] ATTEMPTS by Parliament to emasculate the Constitution are currently underway. So what else is new?

[*] T.Q. 2 (Soi B.J., off the Golden Mile), run by Kim, celebrates the Yuletide season with a styrofoam snow party on December 24 from 8 p.m. T.Q. 1 (Beach Road), run by Bob and Woody, will follow suit the next day from 2 p.m. Xmas hats to be handed out at the door.

[*] CLASSROOM 1 (Soi Pattayaland 2), run by Stan, will have an Xmas Day special from 2 to 6 p.m. All-you-can-eat Christmas fare and all-you-can-drink-any-drink plus games, lucky draw and free bar fine - 1,300 baht.

[*] A reader's oxymoron. Mild abrasive.

[*] HOLLYWOOD 2 BAR (third floor, NEP), run by Kevin and Anton, is having its grand opening tonight. Free barbecue from 9 p.m. Shower shows at 10:30 p.m. and 12:30 a.m. Hit it.

[*] WHO smashed the doors of Hot Rods (NEP), I wonder?

[*] WHAT'S the average weight gain of people who get heavier after they quit smoking? According to L.M. Boyd, nine pounds.

[*] 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

[*] IT was bound to happen. The success of the Spanish-run chicken kebab in front of King's Garden (Patpong 2) has prompted an imitator to open beside Eldorado Bar opposite. Pork kebab is made on the schwarmer there, operated by a Yank. Cases of "MANURE" (huMAN natURE).

[*] GORDON PURDUE has come from Down Under and is staying at the Nana Hotel (Soi 4, off Sukhumvit) through January 13, his many friends will be pleased to know.

[*] A READER'S aphorism. "War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left."

[*] IT'S in History's Last Stand by Gerard and Patricia Del Re: "On September 20, 451, the Huns, fierce Asiatic barbarian warrior tribes led by Attila, fell to Roman and Visigoth forces under the command of Flavius Aetius and Theodoric I, at the Battle of Chalons-sur-Marne, France.

"It was one of the few defeats for the mighty Attila, whose army numbered over forty thousand men, most on horseback. The Huns lost the battle in what was a retreat back across the Rhine, with thousands killed on both sides. Until Chalons, Attila had seemed invincible.

"Attila and his barbarians, whose standard was a skull with horns, first appeared on the Italian scene in about 406. With various crude arms, dressed in the hides of animals, and wearing horned helmets, Attila and his men were expert horsemen.

"Seemingly unstoppable, they stormed across central Europe, overrunning towns, laying siege to cities large and small, and annihilating people with unspeakable savagery, while extracting gold, grain, and livestock as tribute.

"The mighty Attila swept across the Balkans, conquering those nations before invading Gaul, leaving so much death and destruction in his wake that he and his Huns were likened to plagues, with the bloody leader earning the black title the Scourge of God.

"It seemed that only the power of Almighty God could diffuse this human catastrophe. In 452, his army having burst upon the Alps, Attila was ready to rampage through Rome when he agreed to meet with Pope Leo I, the Great, on the banks of Mincio River.

"Prevailing upon Attila for mercy and warning of the wrath of God, the pope succeeded in persuading the Hunnish king to turn away from Rome.

"Attila was found dead in 453 after his soldiers broke into his chambers when he failed to appear before his army at noon after a night of feasting. The infamous Attila had suffocated during a haemorrhaging of the nose."

BUT, I DON'T GIVE A HOOT!