Perhaps the seminal concept in a "Christian" society is the notion of forgiveness. If you really want to know what the key difference is between living in a place like the US or England versus another portion of the planet then I would submit that it is this institutionalized view of forgiveness.
I've lived for years overseas in various parts of the world. I had a chance to see what being part of a forgiving society means in your day to day life. One of the things that flows from that is the expectation that you will forgive those around you.
No surprise to anyone that has spent time on my WWW site or knows me. I am a practicing Christian. As a Christian, you are absolutely expected to forgive "those that transgress against you." There is no choice in that. Christians are "forgiven by God as they forgive."
So, both from a societal and from a religious perspective, I am exhorted to forgive. While I feel that generally I am pretty good about forgiving, I am having a hard time with the general concept in the here and now.
Don't get me wrong. In general, I'm one of the most loving and forgiving people that I know -- not perfect, none of us are. But, forgiving is a wonderful feeling. I try to admit my mistakes and obtain forgiveness too.
It is not the situation that someone has come up to me (or even contacted me) and is legitimately asking for forgiveness. In fact, quite the opposite. There are several people in my unnaturally long life that have truly done wretched things to me, and they have no desire for nor feel that will ever need to be forgiven.
American society and Christianity do not make provisions for the unrepentent. You are expected to be an "equal opportunity" forgiver whether the offending party wants forgiveness or not. Sounds good on paper, but brother let me tell you from experience that it is a royal -- well, let's suffice it to say that it is difficult.
I'm having a very difficult time forgiving my ex-spouses (yeah, I didn't learn the first time). I tried beyond the human limit in both of those marriages. Going through divorce was like having my bones ripped out of my flesh while awake through the entire ordeal. In my opion, both marriages could have been saved, but neither of my wives was all that interested in working on the marriage. Both feel justified in their actions during the marriage from infidelity to physical abuse to ... Neither wants any piece of forgiveness from me.
I don't think that I can forgive my parents. We really have not spoken in years -- like around twenty years. They beat me like a dog. They told me that I was worthless and a vile human being. They told me that it would have been better if I had never been born and that I ruined their lives. In spite of their odious behavior, I made several attempts at reconciliation with them. People have told me horror stories about parents that they did not make amends with and then passed on before they could. But, my parents are also completely unrepentent. My mother swears that her behavior was fully justified.
My brother is a piece of work. Growing up, he had a competition with me, but I wasn't even aware of it. It became clear once I left the house that he had **loathed** me the entire time we were growing up. He still does really mean things like giving our grandfather with no teeth green peanuts as a birthday gift. My brother still probably plays mean practical jokes on people. He doesn't feel he needs forgiveness either.
There is a woman who was a lover of mine. We both mistreated each other over the years. I've confessed my myriad sins of omission and comission. She has retreated to higher ground saying that her actions were all justified, and she does not want any forgiveness from me.
I had a friend of over 13 years. We were very close friends. I helped him through some tough parts of life with advice, resources, etc. When he met his bride to be, I was delighted for him. He asked me to be part of his wedding party, and I was honored to do so. The problem was that his wife wanted no competition for his loyalty and affection, and she took an instant dislike to me. She was thorough and vile and eventually turned my friend from me the whole time claiming that she was "really trying." While I have continued to send presents, cards, etc. for special occasions, I've heard nothing back from the friend. I have heard from mutual friends that they still live at the same location and have received my gifts and well wishes.
So, I know that I am expected to forgive these folks, but I do not think that I have the capacity to do so. I have prayed about it, but that strength is not forthcoming from either an internal or external source to date.