Mystery #5

Where In The World Is Dr. Splatt and Ms. Roadrash??

By Sharon.
*modified slightly by Dr. Splatt

"Cross the lake of mountains high, touch the oceans, touch the sky. Trust the guide, perhaps a friend, do not fear, there is no end. What you seek is what you find, to riddles that plague the weary mind. Go near and far and cast away, the answer comes at break of day. Travel friends to place unknown, to countries far and then back home. And do not fear the path ahead, for this your heart was truly bred. Do not fret you'll make it through, no questions shall remain unspoken for the answers lie in you."

It was quiet, and that was all. A solemn, unearthly, stillness that galloped forth across the endless wavelinks of time and space. Two, lone, figures sat by a wooden desk, laboring constantly over the unanswered problem that rang through the hollow of their minds. The task that presented itself before them was none too easy, and they strained to keep a level head in the darkening hours of mid-afternoon.

One of them, male with whitening hair, sat absently and oblivious to the realities of the world around him as he sat making interesting animal pictures from paper clips and string. The other, female, with hair that spiraled down into brilliant curls, sat using the little intelligence she too nearly lacked, listening over and over to the incoherent message erupting from the bowels of a tape recorder.

"What does it say?" She found herself muttering constantly. The message was strained and covered by a static that proved to be almost unbreakable.

Her co-op and friend, Dr. Splatt merely frowned. The pain of thinking was too much for his mind and so he often was beyond the connections of communication.

Ms. Roadrash hit the rewind button for the fifth time in ten minutes. The words, being brief, were getting more and more vague and the riddles that lay beneath the blanket of the disturbing sound were yet to be answered.

Dr. Splatt quietly starting talking to himself after she had played the tape for the sixth time, "What if maybe." He started to think and wince at the same time. Something had stirred the few brain cells in his mind and he pondered on the thought.

"What is it, Dr. Splatt?" Asked Ms. Roadrash. She was anxious to get it out of him because she knew if she didn't that the questions that could be answers would never be asked nor heard from again in this world.

"Well, it's sort of elementary, dear Roadrash. I mean, what if the sound wasn't really a sound but more of sounds instead?"

"What?" Ms. Roadrash failed in the attempt to understand him.

"More than one sound tied together. For example, if you listened closely you could hear something more than what was 'face value' so to speak. To put it candidly, my dear Roadrash, it is and I dare say I could be correct, the voice in the foreground may not be human through the static." The confusion that resulted from his not so clear answer was something to be laughed at. It took Ms. Roadrash another five minutes before she could respond to what he had said.

She played it over once more and suddenly she was filled with an odd sort of joy, "By the heavens, Splatt, you may be right!"

The silence that followed was one to be marked throughout the journals of Time. Dr. Splatt was frozen to his chair and completely bewildered by the very thought of one moment in which his lesser, more inferior mind, added the barest minimum of a clue, to the all too well known detective, Ms.Roadrash.

"It's sounds like something from, 'Aladdin'," she quipped to herself, quietly thinking over the options singled out by that one fact.

"A monkey?" Dr. Splatt inquired casually, "And if it is a monkey, I feel bad for the chap. The way it's going on in the foreground makes it sound as if it's just been to the dentist."

Ms. Roadrash just shook her head, not entirely wishing to pursue the way he came to that conclusion. Instead she merely stated, "I believe it is something closer to alpaca."

"A what?" Dr. Splatt asked, "Does such a thing exist?"

Completely lost in her own world, Ms. Roadrash continued on her train of thought, "Or maybe a guamaco?" Ms. Roadrash continued to ponder on the subject that stood before her, when suddenly, a spontaneous cry erupted from the very bowels of Dr.Splatt's throat.

"By jove, Roadrash, I've got it! I have actually got it!"

"Got what!" Ms. Roadrash nearly screamed. His cry had come close to startling her out of her wits.

"It's not what's on the foreground, but what's in the background. Listen." After many initial mishaps, Dr. Splatt managed to find the rewind button.

Listening carefully Ms. Roadrash followed Dr.Splatt's directions. To her intense surprise she found that indeed, the inferior Dr. Splatt was in the right after all. An unearthly voice was speaking in the background, thrashing a riddle at them barely audible above the evidently pain stricken creature. The static did not help, but made it seem that the connection was from far away with little technology at the users disposal.

The riddle went as follows, "He comes and goes and leads you wrong, but advice from him to get, fetch me some silver, the Spaniards haven't got it yet."

Ms.Roadrash frowned, "Where exactly did you say you got this tape from?"

Dr. Splatt laughed, "A genius of a man. A dentist I believe. I think his name was, Dr. Give U. Paine."

Ms. Roadrash swallowed, "And we'll leave it at that. Come on, Dr. Splatt, if this tape has what I think the man wanted us to think it had, we have a long trip ahead of us."

Needless, to say Ms. Roadrash was correct in her assumptions and managed the call to the airport where a clerk, who was not very kind, planned them a trip to Chiclayo for that very day. Grabbing all the essentials they would need for a near successful voyage, including Oreos and Coke, Ms. Roadrash and Dr. Splatt started for the airport.

"By the way, Roadrash, how did you pay for this?" Dr. Splatt asked her.

She merely responded, "A lot of Pepsi points from a neighbor."

"Ah." And Dr. Splatt was silent for a while.

Arriving at the airport and parking her car Ms. Roadrash secured her Club and walked into the airport. Almost ready for the voyage and completely nervous about what lay ahead, they grabbed their carry-on bags and disappeared into the air.

After sixteen hours of horrible turbulence, Dr. Splatt's annoying questions and troublesome riddles Ms. Roadrash and Dr. Splatt landed at the Chiclayo airport.

Suddenly Dr. Splatt asked, "I have a question that has plagued me since our trip to Scotland, last year."

"And that is?" Ms. Roadrash asked, generally surprised at the fact that a thought could exist in his mind for so long.

"How do you know it's time to tune your bagpipes?"

Ms. Roadrash groaned, "I do not know. Maybe if we're lucky we'll meet up with a Scot."

Dr. Splatt laughed, "Not here we won't." Then he paused, "Why do kamikaze pilots where helmets?"

Ms. Roadrash replied, "I'm sorry Dr. Splatt, maybe we'll meet up with someone who knows."

"Maybe." Dr. Splatt replied, hope in his eyes.

"So much like a child." Ms. Roadrash muttered, "Now where is our connection?"

A voice, highly accented and deep said, "He comes and goes and leads you wrong, but advice from him to get, fetch me some silver, the Spaniards haven't got it yet."

Ms. Roadrash and Dr. Splatt whirled around to see the person that came up behind them. He was tall, dark haired and dark skinned with stunning emerald eyes and a voice that was oddly deep. His clothes were well suited to the territory, with a wide brimmed hat shadowing his face.

"How did you know that?" Asked Ms. Roadrash.

The stranger replied, "I am Julio De Calnerio of this region. I am also the man who sent you the tape. Your mission is to follow me and find an exotic animal in which you can cut of the left ear. This will be used in particular actions used to rally the people in a revolution. We need your help."

"Why should we do this?" Asked Ms. Roadrash, completely on her guard.

"How is say, 12,000 pesos ring through your mind?"

"Done." Ms. Roadrash shook hands with the man who was now a full fledged business partner.

The man nodded his head, "Come with me. We will travel by mule until we find whatever animal you wish to stop for. The choice is up to you."

"Where?" Asked Dr. Splatt, "I mean, come to your senses, you won't find an exotic animal in the city."

"This man is slightly loco, si`?" The man asked.

Ms. Roadrash shook her head, "You have no idea."

Placing her lightweight bags onto the mules provided by Julio, Ms. Roadrash sloppily mounted another. Dr. Splatt, after many painful appearing incidents and a lot of help from Julio, finally mounted the stubborn beast.

Julio looked skeptically at him, "Are you all right, sir?" He asked.

Dr. Splatt nodded, "Yes, I'm a master when it comes to riding donkeys, I'll be fine."

The man frowned, "Indeed."

Ms. Roadrash followed Julio and led Dr. Splatt through the town. Birds and snakes and poverty shattered the once excitement that had entered her heart awhile ago. The poor that spread themselves about were numerous and most were children, with a bare few that appeared to be anywhere near a hierarchy. She realized that there were only two classes that stood before her. The rich and the poor, the fortunate and the unfortunate, the predators and the prey.

Later into the evening, as twilight spread a paintbrush against the sun faded sky, crystal embered stars began to poke themselves throughout the midnight blanket. The three mule riders and adventure seekers soon found themselves by a fire. Nibbling on Oreos and what little food could have been provided by their guide, the three set themselves in front of a small fire.

Julio spoke first, "The higher into these mountains the more likely you are to find an animal that's good with climbing. What are you looking for exactly?"

"Something related to the alpaca, I believe." Ms. Roadrash said.

Julio nodded, "Si`, the alpaca are related to a particular animal we have here. You may be able to find others related to it, but finding one would be of minimal chance."

"You have related animals?"

"They are from the camelidae family. In the olden days, natives of our country used to use their hide as clothes and fur to make garments and sandals. They are interesting creatures."

"Tell me something about them."

"About four feet at the shoulder, they hold up to one-hundred and thirty pounds each and up to twenty miles a day with that load on them. They are gruff furred and usually are brown, buff, black, white and gray. They are flat backed and bare one young at a time. That's about all I know of them."

"You said they were used by natives. What for?"

"They are pack animals and good up in these mountains. Over 300,000 were used to chart silver for Spaniards back when sometime."

Ms. Roadrash was deeply interested by the facts given to her. This strange, hot, country with it's many surprises proved to bring both the good and bad with it."

Dr. Splatt, who had remained silent for the entire journey quietly asked, "Do these creatures hiss or spit?"

"On occasion, if they feel frightened or if they are bothered they will hiss and spit."

"Amazing creatures." Dr. Splatt said, "A brilliant deduction on our part, when it comes to knowing what it is. But when will we find one?"

"By the morn." Said Julio, "No get some sleep, you'll need it."

They awoke around six in the morning and were far beyond the usual exhaustion that came from early morning rises. No coffee available, despite the fact it was popular in the area, made the get up hard on the two people who still remained sleeping. Ms. Roadrash sat up and looked around. Julio was nowhere to be found.

"Julio?" She asked.

A voice hissed, "Shhh. Come here. I think I found what your looking for." Julio grabbed her by her arms and dragged her to the spot. Fixing a pair of glasses, which she hate to wear the incredibly tired and astonished Ms. Roadrash stared at the sight before her. There, lying near death was the thing she had been searching for all along.

She walked to its side. Sure enough it was how Julio had described her. She had long ears and bulging eyes and was dying rapidly. Death began to breath down the creatures neck and Ms. Roadrash felt sorry for her.

"What happened, do you think?" She asked her guide.

He shrugged, "Poached, I assume."

Ms. Roadrash shook her head, "Disgraceful."

Suddenly the animal hollered and shook for the last time and then shuddered into an endless sleep.

Ms. Roadrash stared at him, "Was it you?"

The stranger looked annoyed, "Not on your life. I am no poacher."

"Then who could? And how can we take just an ear?"

"This particular creature will probably get used by the natives. They use things like this and create our kind of music."

"Really?"

Julio nodded, "Yes, there was a musical group that's been doing world tours that came from this country. Their name proves that they are native to this country."

Ms. Roadrash shook her head and pulled a knife from her pocket, "You want to do it? I mean, they are so harmless. They eat shrubs and low growing bushes from the desert. What harm can they do?"

Julio did the messy chore, "They can't do any harm. But now your job is done. You have kept me company on our short path."

Ms. Roadrash nodded, "You said we'd find one soon."

Placing the ear in a leather pouch Julio stood up, "Take a look at your country. Everything here is different. It is better if you leave now."

Ms. Roadrash stood up, "This task has just begun. Dr. Splatt and I didn't come all this way for a two day adventure. There must be something more."

Julio shook his head, "Then let us go through this country. It's mighty and large river, it's great lake high in its mountains, and the animal, so much like an alpaca, but not quite. We'll stay up here a little more. Then we'll depart and I'll take my ear home with me. In this world of many faces there is so much to learn."

"So that's it? The end."

Julio laughed, "An ear is not the end of an adventure. In fact we have much more to do, but until next time, someplace beyond today but before tomorrow, it is come to it's close."

"A happy ending at least." Ms. Roadrash concluded.

Julio smiled staring into the dawn, "No, dear Roadrash, because nothing can really end."

And the sun rose and fell across the days and sometimes if you listen closely, you can hear the voices of travelers in the mountains. Disappearing and reappearing with a thousand different adventures, and a thousand animals ears.

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