TITLE: From the Inside
AUTHOR: Ophelia
EMAIL: ophelia_rd@yahoo.com
DISCLAIMER: Joss, not I.
DISTRIBUTION: Let me know where it's going
CATEGORY: F/A…
RATING:
PART: 1/1
VISIT ME: http://www.oocities.org/dra_gon_fly_er/
From the Inside
I'm lonely.
So very, very lonely.
Lonely and desperate…
Lonely and sad…
Lonely and…
Lonely and what…?
Lonely and period!
I wanna talk to somebody.
Right, ain't nobody round here.
What about this?
I wanna go home.
Yeah,'cxept there is no place I think of as home.
Why isn't there anybody round here?
I'm listening to 'Self Esteem".
In my head of course.
Always makes me smile.
It's so true.
However, ain't making me feel no better.
After all, I'm here by choice.
The only right decision I ever made.
Not my smartest decision, though.
Just because I volunteered to be jailed ain't make me less imprisoned.
I don't know what to do.
I'm lonely.
Always been lonely.
But this ain't the same.
It's deeper.
I feel like screaming.
Yeah, like screaming and crying and throwing a tantrum.
Like hurting somebody.
Badly.
Why isn't there anybody round?
Anybody who cares.
Enough to look behind the brave masquerade.
Enough to look at me at all.
Of course, if it'd been her…
It all would have been different…
They sure would have found some kinda excuse.
There is so much frustration, so much anger in me.
I wanna cry.
Wanna cry out.
Tell everybody I'm still alive.
Me, Faith!
A living breathing being with feelings and desires.
Isn't there anybody, a-n-y-b-o-d-y, round here who cares?
I'm lonely.
Abandoned.
They all have.
Even he - Angel.
Didn't he realize I only did this for him?
Why else?
What for?
Why can't he pretend…
Why can't anybody pretend…
I wanna talk to somebody!
Anybody!
***
"…#4018…?"
***
I keep my face impassive.
Pretend to being used to being addressed.
I wonder what they want.
I wonder…
***
"…#4018…, you've got a visitor, 4018…"
+++end+++