TITLE: One good Reason

AUTHOR: Ophelia

EMAIL: ophelia_rd@yahoo.com

DISCLAIMER: Joss, not I.

DISTRIBUTION: Let me know where it's going

CATEGORY: S/?

PART: 1/1

FEEDBACK: Yes please!!!

VISIT ME: http://au.oocities.com/dra_gon_fly_er/

One good Reason

I look at them - watch them really, really carefully.

I can't say whether I envy or despise them.

They are so free.

Free to hunt.

Free to kill.

Free to fuck.

Yet, they are so trapped at the same time.

Not that I' less trapped - bound to this friggin' wheelchair.

In my case it's just...

Dunno...

Different?

When I close my eyes I can almost see the future.

Well, not the way Dru can see the future, but the future I want to see. A future with her - my wicked dark princess.

Why can't she love me the way I love her?

Why can't she care for me like I care for her?

Why did she rescue me in the first place if she can't look at me other than a burden?

I wanna die.

Be strong.

Be free.

Burn.

Free of this unwanted feelings.

Free of this much despite love.

Burn, because all would be so much easier.

Ashes.

I know she won't shed a tear over me.

Neither one of them will.

It hurts.

Why couldn't he just stick it to somebody else?

Why did she have to give that one moment of true happiness?

Bloody pillock!

Bloody slayer!

I wonder why he bothers to put up with Drusilla.

After all, it's plain obvious she's nothing but second choice.

Sometimes I think he's only doing her to get to the slayer.

Maybe even me, considering the kicks he gets out of rubbing it into my face.

Yeah, Angelus' mean little games...

Although, this time it kinda backfired.

He's gone too far.

The slayer's pissed.

And so am I.

I guess together we'd be able to bag soul-boy's bastard better.

I would do it.

I would do bloody anything to get Dru back.

Or...

Maybe I just sit here.

'cuz it's just not worth the effort.

Yeah, sit here and wait for the sun to sort things out for me.

I listen to their laughter - their moaning.

One sweet and child-like, one joyless and harsh.

Yeah, maybe I'll just sit here.

Sit here and wait.

And drink to the coming new day!

***

"Right, you just keep sitting here, dumbarse!"

I shoot around with a start.

"How...? Why...? What...?"

**Definitely one too many shots.** I decide, when I come face to face with a face that suspiciously looks like I remember my mortal counterpart looking some 100 odd years in the past.

"Whatya want?" I slur, figuring I may just as well have a bit of a chat since the product of my blurred mind seems to be rather willing to pay some attention to me.

Unlife sucks!

Especially when being forced to listen to Angelus screwing Dru into next Tuesday.

God-damned wheelchair!

God-damned useless legs!

The mere thought of being like this - paralyzed - maybe for the rest of my life, makes an encounter with the pointed end of the slayer's stake rather tempting.

With Dru too busy to spread her legs for her sire...

Too busy to spare me more than a fleeting few moments of her precious time...

My body is withering.

I know it is my fault that I'm undernourished and depressed, but I'm just wondering... wondering how long it's gonna take her to notice...

I've watched all the movies the video shop has to offer and growled and bitched at all the minions until none of them dared to get near me any more. Oh well, skip that - that was 'til my rat-ass bastard of a grand-sire had his glorious comeback...

Why can't she look out for me the way I looked out for her?

Why didn't she even bat a lash at the pillock when he made me a plaything to his fucking underlings?

My heart is heavy and numb, almost as dead as it in fact is for more than 120 long years.

***

"It's gonna get worse, before it gets better."

I stare at the other me in shock.

How much worse can things possibly get?

Right, I could turn into a bleeding nancy boy and fall for the slaying bitch.

Haha - fat chance!

I hate the blood brat!

"Gimme a friggin' clue!" I snarl, but he just flashes me that cocky thin smile I spent bloody ages cultivating.

I hate the bloody prick!

Why won't he gimme some kind of a clue?

Why won't he tell me all about this significant other - who's gonna make it all wroth a while.

I grind my teeth - still listening to the bastard doing my princess. God, how much I hate him!

He, the other me, must have heard them too, since he turns around with a somewhat sympathetic expression.

'It's gonna get worse...'

Worse in what way?

There are so many questions I wanna ask.

Is it my princess?

Will we be together again?

Knowing it'd be her I'd go through hell and back.

With a smile!

"Is it her?" My eyes drill into his amazingly familiar blue eyes.

"Geez, I almost forgot how very pathetic you were at that time!"

I nearly jump out of my skin, when I hear a soft chuckle from somewhere in the back.

"A pathetic little shit!"

My body stiffens and my head snaps around the moment I recognize the voice.

How did he manage to sneak up on us like this?

Bloody hell, I wanna lash out at the prick!

Wanna hit him and kick him and hurt him the way he hurts me.

He laughs at my murderous glare.

Yeah, right, mock the blonde cripple.

I look at the other me and realize that he must have known about him all along - the traitor.

Maybe if close my eyes and wish really really hard they will go away, either. Well anyway, it can't hurt to try.

"Listen, roller boy!"

He catches me by surprise - his big prance clamping down on my shoulder and my body stiffens in disgust.

"I'm gonna say this once - go get yer useless hide back inside!"

I stubbornly look away.

That's it.

The last straw.

The decision is made.

One hundred and twenty odd years are enough.

Why put up with any of this shit if I've actually seen it all.

'It's gonna get worse, before it gets better.'

"Jerk off in the shower, join leagues with the slayer - whatever - just roll that skinny arse o' yers back inside!"

Now he's got my attention.

Especially since I've just realized that I can actually still hear the prick grunting and howling rutting Drusilla.

I look at the man by my side.

I mean really really look at him.

His hair looks different.

Shorter and not a trace of gel.

"You...?"

He rolls his eyes at me and sniggers.

"Yeah, me!"

Ohmigod...

That's why he wouldn't tell me.

I must have lost my friggin' marbles at some stage in the future. How else could I have possibly hooked up with Dru's unsould rat-arsed better?

How much worse can things possibly get?

"It's gonna get a hellufalot worse."

My head snaps up and I briefly wonder if the bloody spoonhead has been reading my mind. But since his expression is so obviously blank...

"... a hellufalot worse..."

He almost seems to be talking to himself, although sensing my look he slowly turns to meet my eyes.

"I won't apologize, roller boy!" He sneers. "Well, not to you - not for a long time."

I frown at him.

I can hear his words but they just don't make any sense to me.

Never before has the idea of greeting the sun been so tempting.

"Don't give up on him, luv!"

A glimpse of what I've been playing through in my head must have shown on my face since the other me, who so far hasn't said a word, now puts a cold comforting hand on my other shoulder.

It's been far too long since anybody's touched me - be it in love or anger - oh well, Angelus actually has, still does, but... it's something I'd rather suppress.

Hm... this is sooo good - I all but purr.

"... a hellufalot, roller boy..."

The moment is over the moment the prick opens his mouth.

I growl at him and open my eyes just about in time to watch him leaning into the other me, nuzzling his neck.

It so sensual a sight that the fine hairs on the base of my neck stand up and I feel goosebumps building up up and down my back.

"But it's gonna be worth a while!"

I close my eyes, willing them to shut up.

I so don't wanna hear this.

Watch them.

Me and me sire.

The bloody pillock!

Not in a million years!

The soft grasp on my shoulder loosens but I still refuse to open my eyes - it's a glimpse of the future I so didn't need to see, and definitely don't wish to be part of.

Angelus and me...

Geez, I hate the bloody prick.

Me and Angelus...

Him moaning and bawling pounding into me princess.

The two of us...

It's so much never gonna happen!

So maybe I'll just...

Keep me eyes shut...

Have another drink...

Pretend it never happened...

And sit here and wait...

...but then again...

...join leagues with the slayer...

...watch her kick his sorry ass...

Hmmm...

Kinda sounds like a plan!

the end

The Challenge:

To take place post-chip Spike.

Spike is uber-depressed for some reason, and is contemplating suicide. Before he can complete the act, he is stopped by a Future Version of Himself who either a) tells him to go ahead, the future sucks, or b) don't do it, because the future rocks.

1. Future Spike can be from any period of time in the future, from a few days to a few millennia.

2. Future Spike describes how/why the future sucks/rocks.

3. Future Spike has a Future Significant Other(s) who shows up at some point in the story.

That's it. As I said, deadline to at least start the story is April 23, 11:59 p.m. Have fun.

Saber ShadowKitten