TITLE: The Things That Remain...

AUTHOR: Feli

EMAIL: ophelia_rd@yahoo.com

DISCLAIMER: Joss, not I.

DISTRIBUTION: Let me know where it's going

CATEGORY: A/L (maybe some Co)

RATING: M

PART: 3/? - (12-14/? posten on the lists)

FEEDBACK: Yes please!!!

VISIT ME: http://au.oocities.com/dra_gon_fly_er/









~Lindsey~

He'd done it!

He, Lindsey McDonald, had gone and got himself a bucket full of change, gone to the nearest pay phone, dialed the number and now was talking to no other but the man - vampire - himself! Well, at least Angel was talking to him where against he, formerly pride and joy of W&H, seemed to be rather unable to form as much as one halfway eloquent sentence.

He knew that if he kept up the panting and grunting and didn't find his voice really really soon the dark haired vampire was most likely to hang up on him. Nonetheless, he spent another half minute in silence, wondering what else he could say or do - after all he'd said the words and still the dark haired vampire hadn't showed him as much as the ghost of a sign that the cared... Apart of the fact that he was still on the phone waiting for his internal debate to end.

"Lindsey? Where are you, Lindsey?"

Not quite the thing he'd hoped to hear, but also not quite the brush off he'd expected. And of course having prepared for the later he'd no idea how to react with Angel's unexpected friendliness - he sighted and much to his own annoyance he even caught himself grinding his teeth. Well, what to say?

"Oklahoma," he eventually blurted out the truth. "Stillwater, Oklahoma." He banged his forehead against the wall holding the pay phone in a fruitless attempt to clear his mind. "Listen, Angel," he forced out feeding the machine his last $10 worth of change. "I'm on a public phone and I'm running out of money - fast!" He waited fully prepared for Angel to hang up after his latest announcement.

"Give me your number then."

The headlong request almost made him drop the receiver.

Angel wanted him to give him his number?

Angel wanted to talk to him?

Angel was willing to call him back?

His whole body started to tremble and if he hadn't leaned against the metal frame of the phone box already he would have landed flat on his ass right in the middle of the street the moment his knees decided to give way.

"Lindsey, your number?"

He heard Angel repeat his request, however, it took another half minute for the vampire's words to sink in and Lindsey to react.

"Number?" He echoed lamely and banged his head against the same metal post he was using for a backrest. In moments like this - moments his tongue refused the form even the most simplest of sentences under stress - Lindsey seriously wondered how he'd ever possibly managed to make it to the top of the Firm's smartest and brightest.

"This is a public phone," the former lawyer finally explained, waiting for the vampire to tell him "though shit" and "seeya'round sometime".

"Check if there is a local number somewhere on the phone that looks halfway official." Lindsey was instructed much to his surprise. "If you find it that's the one you wanna read out to me - if you don't go and call the operator and tell him you want to make a collect call."

Angel wanted to talk to him?

Angel wanted to talk to him even after he'd behaved like a retarded moron?

For the second time this night Lindsey almost let go of the phone, however, he got a grip on him fast enough to do as requested in less than a minute.

"I..., I..., I think I've..."

He somehow managed to read out the number to Angel without making an even bigger fool of himself

"Alright, Lindsey, I'm gonna hang up now, don't go away I'll call you back in a minute!"

He nodded his okay ignoring of the fact that he was on the phone and therefore out of Angel's visual range, but the vampire must have figured this out for himself - if his interpretation of the beeping noise was correct.

Lindsey closed his eyes and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding ever since he'd pressed the first button. His mind was running in circles and his stomach was doing the backflip thing - he'd done it! He, Lindsey McDonald, had called Angel! HE HAD CALLED ANGEL!!!

He knew that the call had only been one tiny step and that he'd have a hell of a lot of explaining to do if he seriously wanted the vampire's help, but this was okay with him as long as explaining everything to Angel meant that his boy would be safe!

This in mind Lindsey put down the receiver he'd still be holding pressed to his face, hoping for Angel to be true to his word and return the call.

*****

~Angel~

For a good half minute Angel didn't - couldn't - do anything but stare at the twelve digit number he had scribbled on the palm of his left. Right now his own handwriting seemed to be the most alien thing he'd ever come across in his 700 odd years. He couldn't believe he'd been talking to Lindsey McDonald - even now more than five years after their "fallout" - he still felt guilty about the way he'd treated the young lawyer. Wolfram & Hart goon or not the man was a living breathing human being and he just should have done to him what in fact he did. If anything he should have found a different means of punishment that to cut off the man's hand.

The moment he closed his eyes he was taken back to the scene of crime the place he'd last come across the young man. He shuddered when he felt a set of watery blue eyes staring at him, uncomprehending clouded with pain and with fear. Even though the memory of the faces of those Angelus had tortured and killed in his time were ever present to him the recollection of the one sandy haired youth he, Angel, had crippled so very efficiently remained the most vivid of all - the way Lindsey had been shaking, the way he'd been cradling his bleeding wrist to his chest, the way his teary blue eyes had looked up at him for help... This had been the very moment he had realized that there would be not way in hell to redeem or even compensate the kid - ever - and his heart had broken into even tinier pieces.

Oh yes, he had messed up, messed up the moment Lindsey had come to him for help? Why the heck did he laugh into the kid's face, why the heck did he send him back to the Firm and why the heck did he feel all hurt and betrayed after the young lawyer had gone and done what he'd told him to do? He still remembered how much he had hoped for Lindsey to see his mistake and come back and apologize to him so he could take him in and help him to start a new life.

Unfortunately Lindsey had never come back and the souled vampire's feelings of hurt and betrayal had gone skyrocketing. He had wanted to hurt Lindsey for making him feel this way, wanted to hurt him badly, in retrospect this was probably the reason why he'd overreacted the way he did when their paths had crossed the next time.

And after that, no matter how carefully he'd been investigating, Lindsey had seemed to have disappeared from the face of the earth - had disappeared without any last threats or a fight. He clearly remembered how he'd been mad with worry and guilt and how his unlife had fallen apart bit by bit their last painful confrontation. Not that the young man had anything to do with whatever shit his bosses had been throwing hat him, starting with the rising of his sire and seemingly crowning their actions with the abduction of his baby boy.

Connor...

Angel felt his heart starting to bleed all over again.

He hated the feelings these kind of memories roused in him, feelings of helplessness, feelings of vulnerability. He so much wished he'd be able to simply erase them all from his brain: Buffy, Darla, Connor, Penn even Lindsey McDonald.

Lindsey!!!

Immediately Angel started to punch in the phone number his former nemesis had given to him. He wondered why it was that Lindsey had decided to call him at the exact moment he'd managed to find a way to cope with his pain. Maybe the man was still working for W&H and it was all part of their grand scheme to drive him over the edge. But then again he'd lost Buffy and Connor and Darla and Penn... could he really live with the loss of one more person - even if the person was evil and used to agitate the shit out of him?

"Angel?"

If his heard hadn't stopped beating a long long time ago it would have jumped or stopped or do whatever hearts did when enthused beyond telling. And enthused beyond telling he was - just as he was surprised and excited also puzzled that the man who, less than five years ago, had been the bane of his existence was now ruling his every thought.

"Yeah, it's me, Angel, sorry for making you wait. It's just that I needed a minute to myself." The words had barely left his mouth when the vampire already shook his head at himself. Why did he have to justify himself to Lindsey? And why the hell did his voice sound all breathless and hoarse?

"Lindsey?" Angel double-checked when apart from the low thump thump of the other man's heartbeat Lindsey remained silent. He waited a little longer, yet his counterpart seemed in no hurry to talk to him. So unnerved by the quiet Angel finally decided to open up and tell a bit about himself, hoping this would make Lindsey feel a little more comfortable.

"I'm glad you called," he admitted hesitantly. "I guess I missed talking to you." He waited for Lindsey to comment on his remark, yet the man remained silent. "See, I missed you, Lindsey," Angel eventually went on. "I was sick with worry after..., after..., after our ultimate run-in... well, what I trying to say is...," the vampire's voice died away unsure how to apologize for something as profound as cutting off a person's hand.

However, the line remained silent for another heartbeat ort two.

"Angel...?"

The dark haired vampire breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the other man's breathing relax - apparently he'd managed to say the right thing. Forcing himself to remain patient he waited for Lindsey to finish his sentence in his own time.

"...everything is falling apart... I tied, I honestly tried to protect him, but I'm only one man... so they just take him away... Angel, I don't know what to do, they're so much powerful than I am..."

Angel didn't have the faintest ghost of a clue what or who Lindsey was talking about, however, he could clearly pick up on his panic and fear which ultimately convinced him of the sincerity of the call.

"...I don't know what they've planned for him, I just don't want them to hurt him again... do you understand...? I'll not allow them to hurt him again..."

Who the heck was he talking about? If Angel didn't know better he'd say the former lawyer sounded like a worried parent. Oh well, never mind, he decided, anything was possible in a five years period of time. Yet for the second time this night he felt his undead heart sent an adrenaline flush through his vain system initiated by the mere thought of the man having committed himself to anyone that wasn't himself. He fought hard to suppress the very inhuman growl which threatened to surface. He had to remain calm, right?

"...he's the only good that came out of my time at Wolfram & Hart... they gave him to me four years ago as some kind of distraction..."

Somewhere in the background Angel could pick up the faintest trace of a second heartbeat. He was almost sure that Lindsey - too wrapped up in his explanation - hadn't even realized that he was being approached.

"Lindsey!" He cut of the other man's incoherent driveling with a rather impolite bark. "Check if there's anybody..."

He didn't get to finish his warning when he heard the approaching footsteps stop and hesitant voice address Lindsey.

***

~Connor~

He wasn't too sure if he was doing the right thing. He had waited patiently for his dad to return - just the way he used to wait whenever his dad left the flat to go and do whatever he had to do outside and after dark - but usually his dad didn't stay away for long. Not like today, where he had waited and waited and his just didn't come back to him.

He knew that he wasn't supposed to leave the flat, he'd never been told so, but he'd figured it out by himself since the only times he'd ever been outside in the happy world were when the dark men would come to pick him up for his Instruction Sessions. That's when he'd figured it all out: he wasn't supposed to leave the flat without the dark men. But with his dad gone for so long he had started to worry and after counting to 78 - the highest number he remembered -for just as many times he'd decided to break the unwritten rule and leave the flat and look for his dad.

But now where he'd found him unharmed and talking into a small plastic handle which he held in his hand the boy just wasn't too sure about his plan anymore. He quickly sniffed the air to check if they were alone and everything was what it seemed and his dad was alright. When his sensitive nose caught a whiff of nervousness and excitement, but couldn't pick up on even the faintest hint of fear or anything that was out of the normal he breathed a sigh of relief and sneaked up on his dad a little further.

He knew his dad hadn't yet realized he was there because he kept talking to the small black something pressed to the left side of his face. He picked up the word angel and it surprised him that his dad knew - even seemed to be able to talk to his angel. He didn't know what to do. On one hand he wanted to walk right up to his dad and find out more about him and his angel, but on the other hand he was simply afraid to do so because he felt that his being here may would anger his dad.

He inched another few feet towards the little box his dad was in and waited for the older man to look up and see him. But his dad never looked up so the boy eventually stepped out of the shadows, hesitantly, whispering: "Dad?"

***

TBC