TITLE: The other side of Dawn
AUTHOR: Ophelia
EMAIL: ophelia_rd@yahoo.com
DISCLAIMER: Joss, not I.
DISTRIBUTION: Let me know where it's going
CATEGORY: F/A…
RATING:
PART: 1/?
Feedback: Yes please!!!
VISIT ME: http://www.au.oocities.com/dra_gon_fly_er/
SPECIAL THANX:
To Katherine Freeman for her words of encouragement and betaing!!!
The other side of Dawn 1
Prologe
(Faith's Thoughts)
He's gonna ruin it!
He and his stupid ideas.
Stupid watcher.
Stupid Wesley.
Six months and we're finally getting somewhere.
So what's all this rot about responsibility?
I don't want responsibility.
Not for anybody who's not me.
And what's this gotta do with rehabilitation?
Fuck ya, Wesley. Why can't ya just leave me alone.
I've been doing fine.
Really.
Anyway, this isn't about me only.
What about Angel?
He's mine.
Okay, he's not.
All Buffy's, got it.
But he's my friend and Buff isn't here.
I don't want this girl to come into our lifes.
I don't want to share.
Stupid watcher.
Stupid Wesley.
Stupid girl.
A slayer candidate.
Orphan. Homeless. Probably lonely.
Rampage? Violent? Aggressive - like me?
I don't want anybody who's like me.
The old Faith is dead.
And I don't wanna be reminded of her.
The things she's done.
The things she's been capable of.
Why doesn't he see I'm not ready for this.
He is only making things harder.
Harder to change.
Harder to grow.
Harder to forget?
And Angel?
Why did he give in to his nagging that quickly?
Is he already getting sick of me?
Why does he want this stranger to live with us?
He doesn't need her to know what he's fighting for.
Neither do i.
Stupid Wesley.
She's just a girl.
She doesn't know anything.
And I'm just not ready for this.
What values do I have to pass on?
What ethics can I possibly teach?
We sure gonna make great parents.
The malfunctioning ex-slayer and the broody all
soulful outcast vampire.
Anyway, what about B?
I'll be doing it again.
Having the one thing she's never gonna have.
Angel.
A home.
A family.
God, how much she's gonna hate me for this.
And I can not even blame her for it.
Although, this time it's not my fault.
Responsibility?
Stupid Wes...
***
(Angel's Thoughts)
Alright, maybe she is right.
Maybe she isn't at all ready for this.
After all, she's nothing but a child.
A powerful one, but a child nonetheless.
What was it that made me insist on this girl?
The urgency in Wesley's voice?
The connection to Buffy, Cordy saw in her vision?
Or maybe even a deep-nurtured urge for a family of my
own?
Either - neitHer.
Nothing and all.
However, right now I feel guilty.
About Buffy.
About Faith.
About the young girl we'll pick up in an hour.
Why would the Council entrust Wesley, entrust me - the
whole bunch of us with a child that precious as a
potential slayer candidate?
I have to talk to someone.
I do need answers...
Someone's got to explain.
Preferably quickly!
Cordelia?
No. Wesley got us into this...
***
(Cordelia on the phone)
"Angel... can you come here? You and Faith? There's
something you oughta know..."
***
(Faith's Thoughts)
Great.
A psycho.
Angel got us a psycho.
Why couldn't Cordelia have her vision before he agreed
to this kid to stay at our hom!
Fucking Wesley.
It's all his fault.
How could he do this to me.
He and his bloody Watcher goonies. Responsibility -
fine.
But did it have to be a friggin' mirror!
I am sorry for what I did.
I really am.
Honestly.
"...mad and psycho, just as eh... Dru."
Alright, she didn't actually mention my name, but the
look on her face pretty much spoke for itself.
Mad, unpredictable Faith - the guardian of an even
more unprediactable, rabid protege...
Hell, and that kid's resume...
Like a horror movie...Given to the Council at five.
From then isolated from her parents and family.
Trained and drilled to become a lethal fighter.
Familiar with most ancient and modern weapons.
Educated in seven different combat sports.
...
...
...
Disappeared at the age of thirteen!
How the heck, after nearly three years, had they been
able to relocate the girl?
Oh well, I guess we'll find out.
Rather sooner than later.
Bloody watcher...
***
(Wesley to Angel)
"Alright, I am sorry, I didn't tell you, Angel... I
just had to make sure you wouldn't refuse her!"
***
(Angel's Thoughts)
This is getting really suspicious.
Why would I deny my home to this girl?
I accepted Faith, and she's been quite a monster.
So what made him think it would be different with her?
She's just a little kid.
Lost and lonely...
Raving and mad...?
No. I mustn't think that.
It's not her, but what these recruitment guys did to
her.
For some reason the thought of Buffy pops up in my
head. And I am infinitely grateful this whole
procedure never happened to her.
Anyway, the Council doesn't want her any longer.
They obviously learned their lesson after what happened to Faith.
Hopefully...
So, why not look at it as a plus?
A bonus?
An unexpected gift!
Yeah, look at it that way, Angel!
She'll never be called.
You've never got to worry about this.
So, why am I nervous?
Even scared.
I wonder why she never went home.
Her parents sure would have helped her.
What kind of child would consciously choose a homeless person's place instead of the protection of her own
family?
Didn't she remember?
Fourteen years of age...
More than two thirds of that imprisoned...
The rest of her life on the streets - by herself.
***
"...she's such a sweet little girl - I'm glad you finally managed to find her. Never believed the;"I ran off from an orphanage" story anyway. Too well educated, too well mannered... Don't ya be to hard on her, she's a fine character, your little one... A fine character..."
Ignoring Faith's unmistakable yawn the old man kept on droning. They had taken him by surprise, not wanting to give him or whoever was in charge the chance to run away again.
"...a bit on the imaginative side, though, with all her dreams and precautions against demons and monsters..."
Angel and Faith exchanged a quick glance.
"Demons and monsters..."
"Guess we're definitely right here..."
"Eh, well, Mister..." Angel dared to cut in.
"Carlton, Sir, just Carlton, that's what everyone calls me around here." The ward or nightwatch or whatever was his position wouldn't take a hint.
"Alright, Carlton."
In the end it was Faith, who in her very own charming way cut off his words.
"We're tired and bore... eh, cold - so why don't ya just show us the girl!"
Although he tried hard, Angel couldn't but smile. She could be so incredibly oafish, at times. However, as always, her tactlessness worked.
Quickly and in a reproachful silence they were lead to a packed, sick-bay-like room.
"Get that bitch to blow out that candle!"
An angry male voice growled from out of the dark.
"Yeah, bloody flickering's driving me mad!"
Searching for the source of complaint, Angel and Faith almost immediately came across asoft light.
Crucifixes, garlic, incense and candles.
Somebody around here definitely knew about vampires.
***
(Faith's Thoughts)
Ohmigod!
I think I'm in love.
Well not like in love love.
After all, I'm not gay.
But just look at this girl.!
Isn't she gorgeous...?
And most important - nothing like Buffy.
Yeah, definitely no pygmy, blonde cutie. Rather dark, tall, boyish.
Right, definitely nothing like her.
Stop it, Faith!
There's no need to be jealous.
Not that you are.
Angel's right here.
With you.
Hell, I just can't stop looking at her.
She like an angel.
All innocent and pure.
Totally unaware about us.
I don't know what it is...
Why I do feel so connected to her...?
After all, officially we haven't even met, yet.
Maybe it's because we kinda share the same background.
Yeah, that's probably it.
She's like me.
Like Angel and me.
And there's no way Buffy's gonna steal her away...
***
(Angel's Thoughts)
What the fuck...?
How come I feel stalked...?
There's nobody even looking my way...
The old man is gone.
Faith majorly distracted.
And the girl...?
Last time I checked her eyes were tightly closed.
This is ridicoulous.
Scary.
Strangely familiar.
Dru!
Only Dru used to be able to freak me out like this.
Although to all the world she seems sound asleep
I'd bet my soul that she's awake.
Funny, how come she reminds me of Dru.
Shouldn't she remind me of Buffy?
What was it about this mysterious link?
So far, the two of them couldn't be more different.
Maybe it had just been a bait.
Another one of Wesley's little tricks.
Nah, he sure wouldn't do this.
Would he?
***
(Angel to Faith)
"C'mon, Faith," Angel grimaced towards the offensive holy objects. "Let's get this thing out of the way."
***
"Well?"
Angel shot a quick glance at the strangely content slayer.
"How are we going to get her out of here?"
Although he had a pretty good idea about Faith's answer, the vampire just couldn't resist teasing her. He had no idea why, but this was one of the very few times, Angel had actually seen her at ease.
Oh well, if that's what the girl was doing to her…, maybe he should simply neglect the alarm bells in his head.
After all, she was just a small kid.
"You carry her!" Faith commanded, sugaring the all too obvious order with one of her rather rare, un-faithish smiles. "The sooner we're off, the better."
It wasn't until her hand came up to cup his cheek, Angel realized he was actually returning her smile.
"You're alright?" She whispered, and for the fracture of a second leaned into his chest.
+She's afraid,+
The thought hadn't even struck him yet.
+She wants you to tell her its gonna be okay.+
"It's alright," he replied in just as soft a voice, quietly sneaking his arm around her waist. "You'll see, its gonna be fine!"
Although he wasn't too sure about this, her happy smile told him he had done the right thing.
For what seemed like forever, they just stood, kindly holding each other's hands.
"Thank you, Angel."
He barely managed to hide his surprise, when Faith all of a sudden leaned forward and placed a quick peck to his lips.
"Ready?"
Her chocolate-brown eyes, so similar to his, unwaveringly held his gaze.
"Ready."
With a wink, as well as what he hoped to be an assertive smile, Angel quietly bent down to pick up the fast asleep child.
***
Her eyes glued to his back, Faith watched the dark-haired man carefully lifting the slender figure.
She still couldn't quite believe that she and Angel were basically abducting this beautiful girl.
No, not abducting - abduction was such harsh a word.
After all, hadn't Wesley supplied proper papers and permission…
Wesley…
She still hadn't forgiven the former watcher.
Wesley…
Who was waiting outside…
Apparently to look after the car…
Why again had he insisted on trudging along…?
"Alright," she quickly looked at Angel, easily carrying the child. "Let's get the hell outa here!"
"What the f…?"
She heard his soft swear the very second her eyes caught sight of the thick cloud of smoke emanating from his chest.
+Holy sh…!+
"Drop her, Angel, now!" It took her a moment to realize what had happened and another few seconds to actually react. "Its Holy Water, the whole bloody linen must be sprinkled with it!"
***
"I know!"
Angel shot her a dark gleam, hoping to make Faith swallow whatever argument she had on her lips.
He was determined to get this kid out of the house and inside his car, no matter what it was going to take.
His arms and chest were hurting like hell.
And he had just about reached the point, where even his demon couldn't bear another nose full of gut-retching burnt human flesh or another second of mind-numbing pain.
"Faith!"
He was just about ready to pass on the whole bundle to Faith, when a different kind of white, hot, totally unexpected and out of the blue jolt of pain made his face twist in agony.
With a look of utter disbelief and betrayal, Angel stared at the angry wooden stake piercing his loin.
"You…!!!"
Catching a glimpse of flashing green eyes, the vampire dumped girl plus bedding unceremoniously onto the tiles.
"You're alright?"
The slayer was on her knees in less then a second, swiftly removing the stake from his side.
Their 'captive', however, without as much as a backward glance, immediately turned tail and ran.
***
"Quickly, Faith…!"
She didn't have to look up to know what Angel wanted her to do.
Torn between her concern about her hurting friend and her new, obviously little appreciated responsibility, Faith couldn't quite decide which one to put first. Finally, her most unyielding expression firmly in place, she made a mad dash for the renegade.
"You bloody brat!"
In less than ten seconds she had her pinned to the floor.
"Who do you think you… - hey!!!"
Her eyes nearly crossed, when she tried to get a closer look at the object fiercely waved in front of her face.
"Get off of me, you bloody bitch!"
Faith just about had the presence of mind to let go, before the girl's slender index and middle finger merciless aimed for her eyes.
She hadn't even recovered form her surprise, when her opponent had already jumped to her feet.
Out of a reflex but nonetheless just in time Faith brought up her arms to avoid a harsh kick in the face.
"Luckie, no!!!"
Faith couldn't say who was taken more for a loop, her, the girl, or even Wesley himself, when all of a sudden and out of the blue the formed watcher stepped into the fight.
***
(Dawn's thoughts)
No!
That's impossible…
It can't possibly be him…
Not after what - three and a half years…
However…
I've gotta make sure…
I've gotta…
Gotta…
What…
Ask…?
"Wes?"
"Wesley?"
***
"Ouch…!"
Carefully holding his tender ribs, Angel slowly dragged himself towards the front lawn.
He arrived just in time to see Faith going down - hard, an angry sock-clad foot hard on her heels.
"Faith…!"
Although he made a serious effort to come to her assistance, there wasn't much he could do.
"Luckie, no!!!"
His head abruptly jerked up, when he heard the Englishman's voice.
+Wesley,+ he growled under his metaphorical breath. +What the fuck…?+
However, not just Angel's eyes grew big as saucers, when the former watcher stepped into the fight.
"Wes? Wesley?"
Wonder all over his face, Angel watched the girl's tense, ready-to-kill posture ever so slowly turn into something else.
He looked at Faith, only to see his own irritation staring back at him.
Obviously, the ex slayer felt just as tricked and taken aback, as the dark-haired vampire himself.
He had to talk to her - now!
About Wesley.
The girl.
Before the whole damn situation got out of hand.
Avoiding the two frozen figures, the dark-haired man quietly blended into the shadows, gradually limping towards Faith.
"You bastard!!!"
Angel had just about reached the brunette and heavily leaned upon her shoulder, when out of the corners of his eyes, he caught a glimpse of the girl tackling the unprepared Britman.
***
(Faith's Thoughts)
What the fuck…???
Bloody hell, Wesley!!!
Why didn't you tell us…?
Gosh, I can't believe the bloody bastard kept this to himself!
He definitely must have known all along.
How else could she possibly recognize him?
And what about the whole bloody name thing?
Didn't he say the Council couldn't come up with anything but an old, withering photograph?
Anyway, Luckie… what kind of a name is this?
Almost as bad as Buffy!
Oh, oh, don't ya go there, Faith!
She's not here.
And even if, she doesn't deserve this.
She's always been…
Yeah, yeah, yeah,…
Nice…
Almost a friend…
Faith - stop it!!!
Focus!
Wesley.
Liar!
Faith!!!
Okay, okay - try again.
Wesley…
Luckie…
Wait a bloody minute!
This isn't slayer strength?!?
Alright, she's amazingly quick…
But apart from that…
Ohmigod!
They must have taken her powers away…
***
(Angel to Faith)
"Eh, Faith?" Trying to rouse the brunette's attention, the dark-haired vampire waved his hand in front of her face. "Don't you think somebody should…?"
He gestured towards their unfortunate friend.
"What?" The former slayer shot him a mischievous grin. "Give her a hand?"
***
"Alright, I'm listening!"
Just as sudden as the beating had started, Wesley was a free man.
"Luckie…?"
"Dawn!"
"…?"
Irritation all over him, Wesley gazed at the girl.
"Dawn - my name."
"B-b-but, Luckie… Lucretia…?"
"Oh c'mon, Wesley, spare me that shit-name!"
The ex watcher watched her tense by the sheer mentioning of her real name.
+Poor Luckie, what have we, the Council, I… done to you!+
His heart grew heavy by the memory of that one night.
The night he'd promised to be there.
The night he'd miserably failed.
"Dug!"
By the time his foggy brain had received and actually proceeded the message, the malicious stake - originally meant for the approaching vampire - had already deeply penetrated his flesh.
***
"In the car, now!!!"
Although, only indirectly addressed, Wesley and Faith hurried to do as requested.
However, the actual cause of Angel's rage, impassively remained on spot, sullenly avoiding his gaze.
"Dawn!"
Despite his usually stoically nature, Angel was just about ready to burst.
For once, he was still more than cranky about Wesley and the way he had betrayed his trust, and for another, this ill-tempered, little brat seriously got under his skin.
He couldn't really put a finger on it, but she was touching something deep inside of him…
Something usually only his childer, or on very rare occasions Buffy had been able to touch.
Buffy…
She had tried to kill him - in the very beginning of their friendship.
Oh well, but that was Buffy and she was the slayer...
His eyes quickly focused on the all too harmless looking girl.
He couldn't believe she still had that bloody stake pointing at him.
"Dawn!"
He tried once again and immediately felt her furious green eyes literally piercing his skin.
+Dru!+ He thought, when he caught a glimpse of her unmistakable pout. +Maybe even Spike, although his sulking is less obvious…+
"C'mon." The thought of his errand childer involuntarily made him extend his hand. "Let's go home."
Later, Angel wasn't too sure whether he, Faith, Wesley or even Dawn herself, had been more surprised when the girl had actually accepted his clumsy attempt.
Yet, a mischievous little smile on her face, she put her small palm in his big waiting hand. And only when Angel held fast in order to help her up, he realized she had tricked him again.
However, ignoring the sizzling noise and disgusting smell of burnt human flesh, Angel none too gently nudged her towards the waiting car.
***
(Wesley to Angel)
"Here," the most guilty look ever witnessed on him, Wesley pushed an old, well-handed birth certificate in front of the vampire.
"Look, I am sorry, Angel…," the former watcher tried once again. "I know I should have told…"
"Right, the dark haired-man silently took the document from his hand. "You should have told!"
***
(Faith's Thoughts)
Wow, what a day!
Me - a parent!
Alright, parent of a brat child.
But still - isn't she drop dead gorgeous?
Nothing like her!
Well, and last but not least, the man of my dreams.
Angel…
Right here…
Next to me…
In my bed…
Okay, okay, mainly because the couch is giving Wesley a headache and Angel's too bloody big for it anyway…
I guess, I could have offered, but hey, what's the point in sleeping on an uncomfy sofa if there is a perfectly comfy bed to accommodate me.
And him!
So, Wesley's in the master bedroom.
And Angel's with me!
Yip!
Alright, with his feet in my face, but hey - you can't have all!
Gosh, I'm worried about tomorrow.
Tomorrow I've gotta face Dawn.
I've actually gotta talk to her.
Say something.
Anything.
What if she hates me?
She doesn't seem to like anybody much.
Maybe not so much like but trust.
So very much like me…
What have those Scooby twits done the first day we've met?
Maybe…
Well…
Very, very maybe…
I could go and call Buffy…
Holy shit, I don't believe I'm even thinking about it…
***
(Wesley's Thoughts)
Yeah, right - I should have told them.
It's just that I've been so ashamed of myself.
After all, I've been her watcher.
Her nanny.
Father.
Confident.
Friend.
How could they expect me to simply step back?
Sending her off - fighting those creatures?
Eventually watching her die?
They'd already taken so much.
And given nothing in return.
Wasn't it enough they'd stolen her childhood.
Her parents.
Her home.
Her life.
Buffy.
Luckie.
My little girl.
For almost six years.
I had it all worked out.
Resigned my position.
Doomed my career.
For her.
Luckie.
Seriously, I would have done it.
The most airtight plan ever.
Until Luckie disappeared.
And Trevor found out.
I can't remember why I went back to England.
Why didn't went through with it and continued to hang out with the Council.
Maybe because I hoped…
That if only I hung around long enough…
If only I did what requested…
That maybe…
Maybe…
maybe one day…
They would send me back…
Of course not to find Luckie…
No, surely not.
Gosh, Luckie, poor Luckie!
What have I done?
***
(Angel to Faith)
"I want you to read this."
In the process of retrieving the timeworn piece of paper given by Wesley, Angel nearly pushed Faith out of the bed.
"Read this and tell me what you think!"
***
+Lucretia Jane Summers.+
+This gotta be a joke.+
Her mind running internally berserk Faith's eyes darted back and forth Angel and the infernal slip of paper.
She just couldn't believe she had done it again.
Buffy…
Buffy…
Always Buffy…
The dark-haired girl felt as so she'd been punched in the gut.
Her life, her future - it all was over before it had started.
And worse, this time it wasn't even because of anything she's done.
"Bloody fucking hell!" She buried her face in the heels of her hands, frantically trying to bite back a sob. "Why is it always her and just her…?"
The rest of her outburst got lost in between pillows and blankets.
Curling into a shaking ball the former slayer silently wept.
"Faith?"
Although she heard his gentle, warm voice, Faith preferred to play dead.
The last thing she needed was Angel's comforting, pitying? her.
Not that it wasn't already embarrassing enough to get all upset in front of him.
"Faith?"
She felt him shifting weight, moving closer to her side.
"Faith, no!"
The dark-haired girl laid stiff as wood, when a pair of heavily bandaged hands awkwardly managed to sneak around her waist.
"Easy, Faith, easy."
She heard him whisper into her ear.
"Don't do this to yourself."
Deeply humiliated and mortified she unsuccessfully tried to get a grip on herself..
However, the tears just kept coming.
Years and years of fury and anger - jealousy and sadness seemed to break through right here and right now.
All the loneliness, the pain and betrayal, which had become her daily companion the night her drunk of a mother had send her away.
It all surfaced now, in the darkness of her room - the intimacy of their embrace.
And all Faith could do was hold on to Angel, who in return held her close, protecting her in the safety of his arms.
"C'mon, Faith."
She felt the mattress shift under his weight.
"We both could do with some rest."
He had himself spooned behind her back, before she even had a chance to protest.
However, still sobbing her heart out the dark-haired girl ever so slowly felt herself relax and eventually give in to a leaden tiredness.
***
(Dawn's Thoughts)
Toilet.
Shower.
Lounge room.
Kitchen.
Bedroom.
Bedroom.
Elevator - great!
Booths.
Jacket.
Jumper.
What else?
Money?
Too risky.
Well, two, four - go!
***
(Wesley to Dawn)
"Luckie…, Dawn…"
The former watcher pleadingly stepped into her way.
"Please…, not now…, not like this…, at least give me a chance to explain…"
***
"Oh yuck, this is so gross!"
Casually leaning against the kitchen doorframe, Cordelia watched the new girl inspecting the fridge.
"So don't eat it!"
The former May Queen chided good-naturedly, knowing perfectly well that the girl wasn't referring to the stack of at least a dozen slices of peanut butter and strawberry jam toast.
A small grin spread across her even features when the stranger whirled around on her heels.
For a second or three they just stood there and stared, either somewhat taken aback.
Cordelia because of the incredible resemblance of Faith - at least as far as her quick temper was concerned.
And the girl… Cordelia couldn't say, maybe because she'd managed to sneak up on her at all.
"I wasn't talking about the food," the girl finally admitted with a frown. "Well, at least I wasn't talking about mine."
It didn't needed a vision to guess what apart from peanut butter and jam she could have found in the fridge.
"Oh, the blood bags!" With a wink and her most conspicuous smile, Cordelia walked up on the child. "Well, I guess, you kinda get used to them." She playfully copied her counterpart's expression and voice.
And when the younger girl didn't flinch she carefully extended her hand in order to wipe the deep frown off of her face.
"Don't worry, little one," unconsciously she reached for a stray strand of brown hair. "Everything's gonna be fine."
Cordelia could see the impulse to fight and mentally prepared herself for a smack on her hand.
However, nothing such happened.
The delicate fist stopped midair and instead of being harshly told off Cordelia found herself confronted with a tentative smile.
"I'm Dawn," the girl introduced herself shyly, still rather unsure whether to run or to stay.
The older girl quickly took the decision from her.
"Cordelia," she gestured to herself. "Secretary, visionee and currently out of orange juice."
Triumphantly she retrieved a bottle of juice from the depths of the fridge.
"Faith and Angel shouldn't be up for another few hours," she informed Dawn matter-of-factly.
"Wanna come?" She asked, heading for the lift. "Breakfast at my place?"
***
(Angel to himself)
+Peanut butter and strawberry jam? Breakfast at Cordie's? This is getting better and better!+
With a heavy sigh the dark-haired vampire went back to sleep.
***
"Uhmmm."
Carefully stretching on limb at a time, Angel purposefully inhaled the scent of the girl curled up by his side.
+Faith…+
She hadn't roused yet, but still, his hold on her tightened.
Until last night he hadn't had a clue about her emotional state.
Hadn't had a clue how brittle and frail her brusque facade actually was.
He'd never thought of her as vulnerable.
Buffy, Willow, even Cordelia sure, but never Faith.
What kind of friend had he been, if he so easily had been able to disregard the all too obvious signs.
And his patriarch decision about Dawn.
In his ignorance he'd only put an additional burden on her.
Now it was too late, anyway.
Fortunately Faith seemed rather fond of the girl.
However, there were lots of things to get out of the dark, although some of them rather remained unsaid.
The vampire affectionately watched over the sleeping brunette, peacefully curled up in his chest.
There had always been this thing between the two of them.
A connection which had always been there, although rather unwanted and at timed more than disturbing as far as his side was concerned…
Angel involuntarily drew in a big gulp of unneeded air, when all of a sudden a totally unexpected wave of tenderness flooded his system - making his toes curl and sending jolts of electricity right up to his heart.
It was unlike anything Angel had ever felt - not the cruel dominance he used to lord over his childer, or the bright, hot, all-consuming love he used to fell for Buffy…
Whatever Faith's outburst had touched, he realized, it must have roused something far deeper.
Something beyond monster or soul.
Something beyond Angelus or Angel.
Because the only person capable of empathizing her feelings have been Liam - the mortal, the man behind the demon.
Somewhat shaken by this discovery, Angel unconsciously brushed a strand of dark hair of the sleeping girl's face.
"Hm…?"
He was greeted by a pair of drowsy brown eyes.
"Hi there yourself," he whispered in return, unsure whether he'd managed to conceal at least half of his rampage emotions. "Feeling any better?"
"Yeah?" She grimaced, immediately hiding her face. "Sorry about last night."
Angel heard her mumble from beneath the blanket.
"Hey, hey…" His hand easily slipped under her shirt, naturally caressing her back. "There's nothing to be ashamed of!"
For a split second he hugged her even closer to him.
"Nothing, you hear!"
Savoring the feel of her warmth against his cold, the dark-haired man drew in a deep unsteady breath.
"Angel? Faith?"
The girl immediately tensed up in his arms, when with a brief knock the former watcher burst into their room.
"O-o-o… OH…!!! Wesley managed to stutter, before his face too on a brilliant shade of pink.
***
(Angel to Wesley)
"C'mon in, Wesley," Angel widely gestured towards the far end of the bed. "You may as well have a seat!"
***
His time was up Wesley just knew it.
There was no way round confronting his friends.
Especially now, where he could feel their curious gazes penetrating his brain.
Yeah, they were desperate to grill him with questions.
Questions about her - Lucretia Jane Summers.
His baby.
His one true love.
However, questions he'd rather remained unanswered.
Questions he'd rather remained unasked.
Wesley carefully peered at Angel and Faith - his cheeks a striking shade of red, mainly because of his bad conscience, but also because of Angel, who quite literally had wrapped himself around Faith, his chin comfortably resting on the dark-haired girl's shoulder.
"Eh, well," he croaked and quickly lowered his gaze. "I…, I…, eh…, well…,"
He knew he owed them an explanation, at least.
However, the former watcher couldn't find the right words.
He also knew, Angel and Faith in fact knew the truth already and it only was a matter of honor…
Desperately trying to calm himself down, Wesley squeezed his eyes shut and silently counted from one to ten backward.
However, when he finally dared to glance up he still found himself confronted with the same two pair of questioning black eyes.
"You've been her watcher?"
In the end it was Faith who barged into the silence, as always tackling the steer head on.
But what was new about her usually all too curt bluntness, was the wave of sympathy softening her indifferent, cold eyes.
For some reason this was all he needed.
His mouth opened automatically and the words just kept pouring from his lips.
He told them everything.
From the day he'd been presented with the crying young child…
The long nights he'd spent watching over her sleep…
His steadily growing fondness of her…
His fears of losing his little girl - once called…
His plan to rescue her from the Council and how badly he'd failed her…
He talked and talked and talked - until he had no more tears and his throat felt dry and hoarse.
"I'm sorry, Wesley…"
Only when he heard Faith whisper into his ear and felt her warm comforting arm around his shoulders, did he realize she must have moved.
"…I really am…"
Her voice faltered and for one short moment Wesley wondered why and what for she'd apologize to him.
When he looked up, his eyes met Angel, who quietly returned his irritated gaze.
"You've gotta tell her," he said, thoroughly chewing his bottom lip. "You know…, we've always been making fun about your way round Buffy…, thought you might had a crush on her…, sorry 'bout that, Wes…"
"Yeah, sorry, Wesley…"
He silently nodded, knowing they were right..
She ought to know - he owed it to her.
Owed it to himself.
***
(Cordelia's Thoughts)
+Smack! Smack!+
I can not really say why I did it.
I can not really say what got me in this cold a rage.
Maybe Wesley's incoherent stumbling…
His desperate attempt to explain…
Maybe Angel and Faith, and their grim endeavor to remain calm…
Or maybe myself and my own disappointment of the lanky, young girl.. .
Hadn't they spent all morning together?
And hadn't she acted all normal and fine?
So why this outburst?
Why hurting Angel in that deliberate a way?
It all happened so fast - Wesley making amends…
Angel trying to help…
+How can you expect me to live with this…, this…, this thing?+
Her words keep echoing in my head.
And Angel…
Poor Angel…
I've never seen him quite this upset.
Sure, he'd put on his best I'm-a-248-years-old-vampire-and-I've-seen-it-all expression, but we all knew it was a lie.
+Stop it, Lucretia! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!+
Of course, Wesley had tried to shut her up.
We all had, although with little but no success.
+Why? Wesley, why? Why? - Why are you defending this monster? It's his fault I never had a family…, they murdered my parents…, my sister…+
The rest had got lost in a heartbreaking sob.
I don't know who I feel worse for.
Wesley?
Dawn?
Angel?
Faith?
Or maybe even myself?
+Smack! Smack!+
I know, I shouldn't have done it.
But they all had been so shocked - all petrified and numb…
+You may wanna think about your attitude, Dawn. In. Your. Room.+
Well, I guess I shouldn't have done it.
Should have let Wesley dealing with her.
I can still see their astonished, mad gazes.
See the angry red marks on her colorless cheeks.
See her pull back - the door slamming into our faces.
+So, is that what you told her?+
+Is that why she never even tried to go home?+
Angel - I've never seen him that mad.
His unreadable dark eyes seizing the Englishman.
+It's standard procedure.+
Faith had supplied quickly, her murderous glare, however, solemnly focused on me.
+Let me get this straight, Cordie.+
Even now, the mere thought of her strangely calm voice makes me shiver.
+Never, you hear me, never ever lay hand at my girl!+
***
(Wesley to Dawn)
"Lucretia?"
Wesley heavily leaned against the closed bedroom door.
"You realize this was unnecessary and cruel and that a simple no would have done…"
"Sorry…"
He nearly stumbled and fell, when the solid wooden door opened a crack.
"I really am…"
Their eyes met for one second, before the bedroom door fell shut.
***
(Angel's Thoughts)
Dawn…
Alright, she's upset me…
However, not as much as she's upset Faith…
Called me pretty nasty things - annoying little brat…
Nothing, I didn't deserve, though.
Nothing, I haven't been called before.
But Faith…
I didn't know she felt that way about me.
I didn't know her feelings were that strong.
After all, she's been the one laughing her head of about Buffy and me.
Calling our love silly and a bad joke.
I mean, how dare she!
And why the heck am I more upset about Faith than the bitchy nuisance sulking in our guestroom?
Maybe I shouldn't have made a move this one fateful night…
Shouldn't have comforted her…
Shouldn't have given her a reason to think…
Think what?
There'd be more than friendship?
There'd be more than…
What?
Fuck!
Fuck!!
Fuck!!!
Yeah, right, that's what I want.
Fuck her.
No sweet making love.
No kissing.
No caressing.
Just a plain, raw, straightforward fuck.
Ohmigod…
When did this happen?
This is Faith I'm thinking about.
What about Buffy?
I can't do this to her.
Buffy…
My angel…
My love…
My soul…
My…
Faith!
***
"Faith?"
He'd found her, just as she'd known he'd eventually do.
Not that she'd tried to hide in the first place - although, he seemed to have some kind of radar as far as her whereabouts was concerned.
However, hiding…, well, working out in the basement had seemed like a good idea at that time.
She needed to think.
Needed to come to terms with this skyrocket emotions of hers.
And what else but the dungeon would be more appropriate in this case?
His big hand reached for her smaller one, as she's know it would do.
Ever since her almost breakdown Angel had become over-protective about her.
Touching and comforting her in an almost sickening brotherly way.
She stiffened, resenting his cool, considerate touch.
Well, not so much his touch but the whole bloody benevolent gesture behind it.
She just couldn't stand to be touched like this.
Not by him.
Not by Angel.
Not when every single nerve in her body was in flames by the mere expectation of his touch.
She wanted him.
Badly.
However, his sweet incorruptible behavior made it impossible for her to simply tackle or jump him.
"I've been worrying about you…"
The strain in his voice made her look up.
"You're sure you're alright there?"
His strong arms found their way round her waist.
Stilling her.
Pulling her close.
Still, Faith couldn't get herself to look up.
After several minutes of anxious silence Angel finally forced her head up.
"Faith?"
The dark-haired girl quickly squeezed her eyes shut.
+Nah, she wouldn't make a fool of herself!+
+She wouldn't doom their friendship for a few moments of bliss.+
+Sure?+
She hated the little voice in her head - challenging her every motive.
No, Angel was too precious to her.
The only true friend she'd ever had.
The only one who'd believed in her, when to the rest of the world she'd been nothing but a renegade.
Her guardian angel - in more than one way.
He'd been with her every single nightmare-filled nights, holding her hand, encouraging her to battle her demon inside.
She couldn't say, when the feeling of gratitude had turned into something else - something far deeper.
"Faith?"
His hand had somehow sneaked up her back.
But still, the former slayer avoided his eyes.
"Faith!"
His voice was somewhat strained.
In fact, it sounded so hoarse that it made her want to pull away.
"Faith…"
Her senses ran havoc, when all of a sudden she found herself in a tight, most unbrotherly embrace.
"Angel?"
Tentatively she glanced at his chocolate brown orbs.
Next thing she knew, she was swept of her feet, her panties and shorts shoved aside.
"Faith…"
Their eyes met for the briefest of seconds, before he impaled her - joined their bodies in the most intimate of ways.
"Ohmigod… Faith…"
He fretfully forced her legs round his waist, forcefully slamming inside of her, filling her to the hilt.
Although the dark-haired vampire was clearly horrified about himself, it was impossible for him to stop.
He was out of his mind.
His body beyond his control.
His demon counterpart every so often contorting his face.
There was nothing sweet about their coupling - his rugged hands painfully digging into her flesh.
How long had she longed for this to happen…
Angel and Faith…
Together…
Although…
Not like this…
Fully dressed…
Her back against the wall…
His iron clasp bruising her hips…
Holding her…
Steadying her…
Setting the pace…
There was no tenderness between the two of them.
Nothing but hard, compelling sex.
The way she'd been fucked too many times before.
The way she'd promised herself never to be fucked again.
Quick, cheap, loveless…
Like a second-class whore.
"Faith…"
Angel deliberately forced her slim legs further apart.
Spreading her wider.
Impaling her deeper.
His features contorted when her velvety channel involuntarily spasmed around him.
Forcing the vampire over the edge.
He, too, climaxed - almost immediately.
His body spurting gushes and gushes of icy dead seeds deeply into her welcoming cleft.
It seemed to go on and on.
Forever.
…
Then it was over - the madness.
As sudden as it had started.
Guilt, shame and horror crashing down on Angel the moment he withdrew from her warmth.
Faith…
Their friendship…
What a terrible mess!
"Faith…," he groaned, ever so gently letting her slide down to her feet.
"Ohmigod, Faith…, I'm so sorry…"
He could hardly make himself face the muddled-eyed slayer.
"I'm sorry…, you hear…, I really am…, I never meant to. .."
Trying to think of a way to explain, Angel mortified to pulled up his pants.
But since his foggy brain wouldn't come up with anything at all, the already awkward silence only grew even more awkward.
"Sorry…," he finally muttered in lack of words, only wanting to get away. "I really am…"
With that and a long penitent look, he slowly headed for the door.
***
+Bastard!+
+Arsehole!+
+Bloody fucking idiot!+
I can't believe I just did this to Faith.
I anything but raped her.
Fucked her like a hormone-driven teen.
God…
Faith…
She's my friend…
How on earth could I do this to her…?
Maybe I should go back?
Try to talk to her.
See if there's anything I can do.
Right, that's what I should.
But how can I possibly face her again?
Ever face her again?
Yeah, I better give her a break.
Buy me some time.
But hell…
I've gotta talk to someone!
Wesley?
Cordelia?
Buffy?
Ohmigod, Buffy…
How am I to explain this to her?
Idiot!
You're such a fucking idiot, Angel!
Even Spike in all of his evilness, never managed…
…wait a bloody minute…
Yeah, Spike - that's it!
He's my childe.
And he's a demon.
Gosh, I've gotta be desperate…!
Anyway, I figure I'll call him.
Yeah, right, I guess I most definitely will.
Eventually.
I guess.
After a couple of shots of the hot stuff…
***