Alias: Stacey Dracadancer

Location: Stuck (involuntarily) somewhere in the 1980s of the US Midwest

Edification: Big load of BS in Agricultural Science from Truman State University

Skills and Abilities: Works with large dangerous stupid beasts

Description: Of the humanoid species known to be nocturnal. May be seen briefly during
the day in slumber stages but must be approached with caution as is very bitchy when
awoken. Generally comes in a short stature with blue eyes, red hair and size 9 shoes.
During the night, is often covered in layers of blue denim while upon day the creature can
be seen enclosed in flannel. Can be recognized by its particular call of “Hey ho” and
“Ugh.”

Record of Sightings: Was first seen in the wilderness of northern Missouri in 1980 but
within a few years was sighted in the more urban (ha!) mid-Missouri. It was seen
frequently in locations about mid-Missouri for the next 16 years until it, once again, was found
to be living in the rolling “hill” of Kirksville, MO attending college. For the next
4.5 years was seen fleetingly between mid and northern Missouri until a sudden northern
migration in early 2003 forced it into Chicago territory. For a brief 3 months it was rarely
seen by any living human being until it started popping up again in mid and northern
Missouri.

Current Whereabouts: Current location of the creature is unknown since it has been
migrating for the last 6 months and now appears to only move at night, thus making its
movements random and hard to observe on a regular basis.

Habits: The creature can often be drawn out of isolation by talk of various books, movies
and shows including but not limited to Mystery Science Theater, Dinotopia, Trading
Spaces, Harry Potter, Iron Chef, Gargoyles, various anime (particularly yaoi themed
shows), Who’s Line, X-men: Evolution, anything with Trey Parker, Lord of the Rings, Invader Zim,
80s movies, and any bad horror or sci-fi B movies (cult classics included). A particular
habit of the creature seems to be reading of Gundam Wing, Lord of the Rings and X-men:
Evolution fan fiction which may keep it immobile for hours on end, either that or pictures
of Elijah Wood can be used as bait in trapping the creature. Bare in mind that any talk of
the word Chemistry will scare the creature away permanently.