Title: Hammurabi's Code
Pairing: Jack O'Neill/Daniel Jackson, Teal'c/Samantha Carter
Rating: NC-17, please.
Spoilers: Beneath the Surface
Categories: m/m
Summary: SG-1 discovers a planet who's society was pulled off earth at the height of Mesopotamian development. The ruler of the world, King Hammurabi, is hiding something from them, and Jack must protect his team while finding out what that is.
Notes: co-written with Diana.

- = - = -

Hammurabi was a good king. A gentle king. A forgiving king. but he could not, and would not, tolerate such stupidity from his two sons, no matter how dear to his heart they were. And though it hurt him to punish them, he saw no choice. In a matter of hours their prized stallions had been put down, their places in this season's tournament of champions taken away, and had been given dressing down they wouldn't soon forget. He had shamed them so deeply that he had not heard from his normally bubbling elder son in many hours, and the younger was brooding not unlike his mother.

So be it. They had, with one foolish conversation, destroyed the only advantage they may have had against the foreigners who had come through the Great Ring. He would let them stew, and then when they understood the grievousness of their mistake, he would forgive them. Until then he sat on his throne, stewing, waiting for Yilenna's daughters to come and fetch him for the morning meal. He had already been awake for a great many hours, brooding over this complication. His spies among the help had told him the young scholar and the leader had been at the baths this morning, and the Jaffa and the woman had joined them there not long after. Linelos had told him the foreigners had used the Great Ring, it's power a mystery to Hammurabi's people for centuries mastered by four people not even of the land. Four people from another world -- not Goa'uld, but how could Hammurabi trust them as allies when he knew nothing of them and their strange ways?

Jack? In a real good mood. He had spent the last twenty minutes trying to find out where Linelos and Daphon were, and where they should be going to meet them for breakfast.

Instead, all they'd gotten from Yilenna was a great deal of sobbing, crying, a little bit of screaming, and a big, fat headache. Finally, Jack had thrown up his hands in disgust and stalked off, snapping at the rest of the team to follow him to the throne room. He was very, very content to hear three sets of boots thudding behind his own angry stride, and he was, for once, not having to worry about hunting Daniel down, which was a miracle unto itself.

He strode angrily into the throne room, stopping short at seeing Hammurabi on the throne, and gave him a glare. "Where's... Lenny. And Bruce."

Hammurabi glanced up, a mask sliding instantly in place. Pleasant but cool, aloof, calm. "I'm sorry, Colonel Jack O'Neill, I know not of who you speak."

The angry glare darkened. "Your kids. About this tall," he said, holding his hand a little over his own head. "One of 'em wears more feathers than a can-can girl, the other's got enough hair on his chest to be a bear."

Hammurabi calmly rose from his throne, his soft, cool robes flowing around him. "My sons? They are not available to speak at the moment. However, I hope you may join me for the morning meal?"

Jack... really wasn't going to budge. "Not available? Why not? They were gonna answer a few questions for us, and they're really questions I'd like to have the answers to."

"Perhaps I may be of service?"

At the way Jack's mouth opened Daniel knew he was about to stick his foot in it, and he drove an elbow into Jack's ribs, hissing, "Jack."

Jack jolted, said nothing, and promised revenge for that with a single look at Daniel. He turned his gaze back to the king. "Yeah, well, we'd like to know what you guys know about the Gou'ald and why you didn't see fit to tell us beforehand for starters, and we'll just go from there, how about it?"

"Gwu...ood?" Hammurabi asked, a somewhat genuine frown on his face. "I'm sorry, I do not know of what you speak. Pewa!" he called the servant girl to his side. "Please have our morning meal ready in the conference room, bid my wife good morning, and I shall see her later today."

"Gou'ald," Jack repeated, watching the mousy little girl run to the king's side, and then disappear out of the servant's entrance to the side. "And don't give me any of this crap that you don't know, because I know you do. Lin and Daphon both told us about the Gou'ald and the Jaffa army that used to live in the temple."

"Ahhh, you speak of the Lord of the province and his," he stopped himself from saying 'minions' in the nick of time. "followers, correct? My city is merely one of many in his province."

Daniel perked up. "How many other cities, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Three. Menua, Parmeth and Sion."

Jack gave Daniel a dirty look. "Look, your Highness, I don't know or care, really, what you call them. They're dangerous, and I want to know why you weren't up front with us about them in the first place. In fact, I've got a lot of questions about that, including how the temple came to be deserted."

Hammurabi glanced at him from the corner of his eye. "Perhaps we will eat first. Will you save your questions until our bellies are full, sir?" he asked, sweeping into the grand conference room where already, steaming platters of food were being laid out. Heaps of bread, soft meats, sausage links, pork and beef, sweet cakes, and cacao.

"N--well... actually, yes. Fine. I'll wait until we've had something to eat," Jack agreed, very ill-graced. "But you're not going to slither out of answering these questions, Ham." Jack growled at the King, and then waved to the others to follow him. "C'mon. Breakfast first and then answers."

"Ham? I believe there is some of that. Cooked graciously by the royal chefs. They trained in Sion for many moons before coming to be employed in my home," Hammurabi said cheerfully and sank down onto the throne seat at the head of the table, waving a hand at the feast. "Are you enjoying your stay?"

Daniel kicked Jack in the shin before he could speak and addressed the king personally. "Very much so, King Hammurabi. Your palace is a work of architectural art."

"Thank you," he said, with a bow of his head. "It was built nearly three hundred years ago by the father of the False King, he who took the throne from my great, great grandfather in ill will. It was built in splendor. I wish there was more time to take you to my true home, however."

"True?"

"Yes, of course. This is only my summer home."

Jack shot another evil glare at Daniel for the kick. "I swear I'm gonna have you arrested for assaultin' an officer!" he growled, sitting down on the large padded chair closest to Daniel. "Summer home, huh? Tell me, Hammy old buddy, if this place was built by the Gou'ald, how did you get it back?"

"Hmm? And oh, try the sweet cakes," Hammurabi said cheerfully.

They weren't going to get a word out of the man until he'd eaten, of that Daniel was certain. Which made sense, because many other cultures also believed that after a meal is only when business could be discussed, so he sat down, put his vest and his side arm holster on the floor at his feet, and settled in.

Jack's patience was wearing thin with this. "Daniel... I'm gonna start shooting somebody if I don't start gettin' some answers here," he said, when he noticed Daniel taking off his gun. He just tightened his grip on his own weapon as it lay against his hip, and the weight of the zat was comfortable against the small of his back.

Daniel glanced at him evenly as, behind them, Hammurabi was removing the belt and scabbard of his sword, which was common custom in the kingdom. Daniel had seen him do it the first night they were here, and that he saw it again wasn't odd in the least.

Sam watched Daniel, saw Hammurabi doing the same, and glanced at the Colonel for confirmation over what they were supposed to do.

Jack gave Daniel a hard look, and then nodded at Sam. He took the strap of his P-90 off, and leaned the gun against his chair, hand still resting almost lovingly on the butt as he stroked it with his fingertips.

Teal'c did not disarm himself; he merely stood to the side, and left his staff leaning against his shoulder, hand firmly gripping the weapon as he watched.

"Teal'c...." Jack let it trail off, and motioned with his eyes.

"When in Rome," Daniel murmured.

"Actually, Menua," Hammurabi said calmly, with a winning smile. "Please, you will not be injured here. Rest and relax during your meal," he said, and settled into his throne comfortably.

Sam watched the Colonel and did as he did, because...well, he was her commanding officer more than Teal'c or Daniel, and she had to make a good example for the both of them. She pulled the strap of her gun off and set the gun between her feet on the floor, enough so she could snatch it in an instant but not wearing it. She touched Teal'c's hand because she knew he was wary, but she hoped she could relax him a little with her touch.

Teal'c turned his head once, surveying the room carefully before giving in and letting the staff drop to the floor beside him, as he took a seat at the table with his teammates. Giving up the staff did not thrill him on this alien world, but he would, for the moment, trust in O'Neill and the others, as he always did.

"Yeah... when in Rome, watch out for a knife in your back," Jack muttered, glaring at Daniel again. He gave Carter and Teal'c both little nods of appreciation when they disarmed as he had, and he waited for them all to seat themselves at the table before looking back at Hammurabi. "You gonna answer my questions now, or what?"

Hammurabi smiled that disarming smile of his that reminded Daniel of Linelos. As the old king began to eat so did Daniel, gathering bits of the strange food onto his plate. "We're curious about your people and your customs."

Hammurabi beamed as the peaceful explorers began to eat, proud of the food at his table. "The False King built this castle as a tribute to his own might, after he took my great, great grandfather from power."

"So you live here in the summer to show tribute to taking the throne back."

"Naturally," Hammurabi said with a bite of fresh pork.

Jack wondered if a real human being could go nuclear.

Because he was about ready to test that theory. Granted? He knew he wasn't the most cordial, most diplomatic man ever, but this was fucking ridiculous, getting ignored every goddamned thing he asked. And it was pissing him off.  "And this false King would be... ?" he left the question open-ended for Hammurabi to answer.

"King Rewan from Sion," he said, chewing on his sweet bread. "He conquered my city and attempted to make it all the province of Sion."

"And where do the Goa'uld figure into all of this?"

"Who are the... Goold?"

Daniel looked up from the most delicious flap jacks he'd ever had in his life. "Uh, it's Gwa-oold. And they're our enemies -- humanities enemy, really. We try to stop them from taking over planets... and we trade, hoping to find weapons to defeat them."

That... was pretty much the last straw, and Jack threw down the fork he was using to cut pieces of ham into edible bites. "All right, your Highness, that's it. I've pretty much been a good sport and played along with this, but I'm getting really sick and tired of being jerked around," he growled. "You know damn well who, and what, the Goa'uld are, and so do your sons. In fact, your sons are the ones I'd really like to be talking to right about now, because they're the ones who aren't bullshitting us. Sir," he tacked on, as an afterthought.

"My sons are unavailable," Hammurabi murmured. He looked at the four of them, calmly, and said, "I believe it is time you went home."

"Yeah, I think you're right." Jack picked up the discarded P-90 and put the gun strap back on over his head and shoulder. "Teal'c, Carter, go pack up anything we've unpacked. Daniel, pack up your notes, the camera, anything you've learned about this place and make sure it's ready to go back through the 'Gate." He didn't take his eyes off Hammurabi as he got up, nibbling on a piece of toast as he did it.

"What?! Jack!" Daniel said, climbing to his feet. His mouth was hanging open at the hinge. "You can't be serious!"

"He is. As am I. You are all free to go." Hammurabi rose and touched Daniel's shoulder. He made eye contact with each of them. "Find your heart's desire, and may your Gods protect you on your long journey. We will accept no more people from your world on this one."

"Yes, I can be serious," Jack said, putting his hand on Daniel's shoulder and yanking him back a step, out of Hammurabi's touch. "Get moving. We'll worry about sealing the Gate when we get to the temple," he continued. "Move!" he yelled.

Teal'c cocked his head as Hammurabi made eye contact with him, and merely raised an eyebrow at the strange phrasing of the farewell. He said nothing, merely blinking once as he picked up the staff from the floor, and went into the hallway.

And where Daniel may have once argued, loud and long, now he didn't. Which in itself was odd, because he was always arguing with Jack, but he merely got a slightly puzzled expression on his face and followed Teal'c. This had to be one of the strangest missions they'd ever been on, and in the back of his head he worried about their team as they left.

- = - = -

As always, George Hammond was at the bottom of the ramp waiting when SG-1, his flagship team and the most professional men and women he knew, came through the gate. He usually was for the other teams as well, but SG-1 was special to him in ways even he didn't understand. All he knew was that their safety and health was of the utmost importance to him, both in a professional and personal sense.

Which was why he'd been so worried about them lately. Not only after the last two times SG-1 had checked in on base. He already knew it had been too early to get them back out in the field after their last mission, and he was planning on giving them four days off to start bright and early next week again. They needed to relax, not on base under observation but in their own homes.

So it was with that resolve that he was waiting for them when the four of them, drenched in sweat, stumbled through the gate. "Welcome home, SG-1."

"General," Jack said. As soon as he was through the Stargate, Jack ripped off his hat and mopped at his face. "That planet is going to kill me. Permission to nuke the whole damn thing, sir?"

"Permission denied, Colonel," Hammond said, and a small smile quirked his lips. They looked like hell, but if Jack was his usual crotchety self and -- there were Major Carter and Daniel's exasperated faces. One quick glance over Teal'c impassive face and he knew they were fine. Tired, but fine. "SG-1, report to the infirmary. Briefing in an hour," he said.

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, sir." Jack finally let the P-90 fall to his side. "They're a bunch of stuck-up assholes on that planet. You should let me blow 'em up." A pout. "Daniel wouldn't let me shoot anybody." But he gave the general a smile.

"Good job, son," he said to the youngest member of SG-1, clapping him on the shoulder as he escorted them out.

"You know me, General," Daniel said tiredly. They boarded the elevator together, the General going off on his way towards his office, and as soon as the doors slid shut Daniel slumped against the wall of the elevator and sighed. The SF who was bringing them up to the infirmary was trying, but even Daniel could see him struggling not to wrinkle his nose. And who wouldn't? They stunk. Bad. Not as bad as they sometimes did, especially after the time Daniel got puked on by two drunk Jaffa, but still, pretty bad.

Janet was waiting for them at the door of the infirmary.

"General Hammond just called," she said, all perky sunshine this far down underground. Her heels clicked as she walked into the infirmary, almost seeming to signal the three nurses who turned away from their current duties to give Janet a hand. Siler was asleep in a bed at the end of the infirmary, leg up in a cast. "You know what to do, guys. Colonel O'Neill, I want you at bed one, Daniel bed two, Sam three, and Teal'c you can be at four."

Jack gave Janet a witheringly evil glare for her chipper attitude. "Think you can tone it down, Doc?" he grunted, heaving himself up onto the bed. Immediately he groaned as he laid back, pulling his hat--sweaty headband aside--over his eyes and bending one knee. "Christ that feels good."

Teal'c said nothing, and just gave a raised eyebrow to O'Neill as he moved towards the indicated bed.

Jack snorted as he heard the echoing groans of his tired teammates. "Dare I ask what happened to the mad genius down there?" he asked, hooking his thumb towards Siler.

"Sgt. Siler took a spill down the service stairs earlier today," Janet said, smiling as her nurses began to take care of the other members of the team and she snapped on a pair of gloves. She offered Jack a big bag with a bio-hazard sign over it. "Strip, sir. There's a hospital gown and robe on the shelf behind you," she said, stepped out, and whisked the curtain closed.

"You've got to be joking." He didn't even move his hat or open his eyes.

"Now," she commanded through the curtain.

Daniel stared at the nurse, the bag, the nurse, and almost wanted to cry. He was exhausted. God. He took the bag wearily and climbed back to his feet, groaning as he began to systemically peel out of his clothes without looking at them too much, or hell, even moving too much. Sam's answering winces and hisses of breath were answer enough on whether or not he was the only one feeling like this.

"Christ." Jack sat up just enough to peel off his vest and his t-shirt, and dropped them into the bag, and then raised his lower body just enough to peel down the camouflage pants and underwear. Boots got kicked off with an unholy grunt and a couple of thuds as they fell to the floor, and he just managed to get everything else in the biohazard bag before the surge of energy gave out, and he dragged the gown down over the lower half of his body. He threw the bag out through the curtain with another grunt, and since his hat was in the bag too, along with socks, gloves, and everything else, he covered his eyes with his arm. "Hurry up, Doc. I've got a date with my bed that I can't say no to."

And Janet noticed it. It was the first thing she did notice, as a good physician, that they were tired. Strangely so. Colonel O'Neill had been walking most of his life, and could do ten miles without breaking a sweat. Daniel too, was as healthy as an ox, and Sam only got tired if she was on her period and her iron was low. Teal'c... well, Teal'c was a living, breathing mountain of a man who was never tired. Almost ever. To see the four of them so exhausted after what had to be a four fifteen mile walk, if that, was very disconcerting.

As soon as the bag was shoved out of the curtain Janet handed it to one of her nurses collecting all the bags and said, "Colonel, I'm coming in now," and slipped through the curtain, shot and medical instrument tray in hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Do it and stop advertising it," Jack groused. "Just jam it in, get it over with and let me go home."

"Colonel," she said warningly, giving him the Look. "How are you feeling?" she asked again, slower this time, relaying the importance of the question.

"With my hands," he answered, just as snidely. "Look, I'm fine. I'm exhausted. In the last day and a half, I've climbed thirty stories of temple four times, and hiked about a mile and a half to and from the temple on top of it. I'm tired. I'm hot. I'm sweaty. And I'd like to take a nice, cool shower. At home."

Yes, well, he wouldn't be seeing it for a while. She only nodded and had him sit, where she took blood for lab work, gave him a shot of vitamin C, and considered hooking him up to an IV. But outside of being tired he was fine, a routine check showed. No blood, no cuts, no breaks anywhere, which was strange for this man in particular. She checked his gums, the whites of his eyes and his knuckles for dehydration, but on finding him fine on that front too, she had no excuse to keep him. Something was nagging her, and she had half a mind to keep them overnight anyway, but her more compassionate side agreed with the General. They were all exhausted, and needed to be at home and asleep in their own beds.

So she relented. She signed off on Colonel O'Neill, and after doing a routine check of her other patients, she let them leave.

- = - = -

Shower.

Nice, hot shower.

That was the only thing on Jack's mind.

One hand was holding the back of the hospital gown together, though he figured that by this point in his SGC career, every nurse in the damned facility had seen his bare ass at some point or other.

By the time he got to the shower, and dropped the gown to the floor, steam was already rolling out and his mouth was almost watering at the thought of it.

He peered through the steam, and he could barely make Daniel out through it, and he had to grin. "Hey, Daniel!"

Daniel grunted something unintelligible.

His hands were braced against the tiled wall, head hanging down, water pouring over his neck and down his shoulders and back. It sheeted over the length of his spine, over his bare backside, down his legs. He was so relaxed he felt like he was floating, and it was sensational after the hard mission they'd just had. They'd found out exactly nothing, had hiked way too much, and..

God, he was tired.

Jack grinned at the grunt. "Right back atcha," he grunted back, and turned around so that the hot water ran down his sore back.

And groaned. Deep and vibrating, Jack felt like it was building up from his toes and pouring out with the hot water. "Uuunngh. That feels good."

Daniel nearly choked on the water he inhaled.

His head came up so fast he sprayed water from his hair everywhere, and stared through the heavy mist where a Jack-shaped blob was currently moving. Without his glasses he couldn't make out much, but... there was another groan.

Daniel wasn't gay. He wasn't. He'd never looked at another man before in his life, not even during college. It wasn't that he found it disgusting, because it wasn't. He'd just never had any urge to have another man's penis anywhere near him. He liked breasts, and he liked vaginas.

And he really, really liked Jack.

"Whoa boy," he muttered to himself, jabbed a hand out towards the knob controlling the water in front of him and reached for his towel behind him at the same time.

In the back of his mind, Jack noticed the other shower being turned off. But the hot water felt entirely too good for him to worry about it, and he just groaned again, toes curling on the tile and metal drain as he dropped his head forward, and let the hot water run over his neck and through his hair. "Ungh," he groaned again, and pried one eye open. "Daniel. Throw the soap this way, would ya?"

Daniel hoped the thin cloth would hide enough until he grabbed his robe, and tossed the soap at the blob that was Jack's head as he hightailed it out of there.

"Ow!!!" The bar of soap caromed off Jack's forehead, but by the time Jack got it fumbled up off the floor, Daniel was long gone. He stuck his head out of the cubicle and bellowed after him. "That's assaulting an officer, dammit!"

Unfortunately, the shower couldn't have lasted forever, and Jack found himself not wanting to linger alone, despite how good the steam and heat felt against his tired muscles.

Someone had thoughtfully raided the locker room and left him a blue flight suit to change into, and Jack toweled himself dry before sliding into it, wiggling his bare toes against the cool tile as he padded out in search of socks and boots.

He found them beside the flight suit, and he rolled them on carefully before heading out to the briefing, hair still slightly damp.

Daniel was already sitting at the table, and had the camcorder sitting in front of him, studying it carefully. "You threw the bar of soap at me," Jack grunted, thumping into his usual seat across from Daniel and glaring.

Daniel glared thoughtfully at his camera, carefully not looking at Jack. Or anywhere in his vicinity, actually. "Blind without my glasses," he said, and wrinkled his nose as if to say this. And didn't look at Jack. Nooo.

"Uh huh." Jack leaned over the table. "What's so fascinating?"

"Er... glyphs. Of the ziggurat," Daniel said, and glanced up -- oh, bad idea! He quickly looked back down at the table and hoped to God Teal'c hadn't realized what was going on. He cleared his throat. "I've got a short presentation I put together when SG-13 came back that should make things a little clearer. Considering we completely failed to get any information out of these people and... were driven out of the city." Though not quite 'driven' and he frowned thoughtfully at that.

Jack frowned at Daniel's frown. "Hammurabi was being an uncommunicative son of a bitch, and when Lenny and Bruce tried to talk to us, they suddenly disappeared and we were told to leave, Daniel. Not much we could do about that."

"Indeed," Teal'c intoned. "It is quite surprising that the princes were removed from contact with us, though considering the information we were given, perhaps the king only wished to keep us from learning anything else before we were told to depart."

"But we just... we left." Daniel frowned. It was strange they had actually, because... his thoughts faded away and he felt strangely peaceful for a moment. He let the subject drop. "I think we can make out some of these glyphs. I'll have my department get on it tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, we left. What, you wanted me to start shooting people? Cause I could, you know." But he dropped it when Daniel did. "You said yourself they were nonsense; just turn it over to your guys and don't worry about it. Let 'em practice on it while we move on."

Which was an odd thing for Jack to suggest, considering it was concerning the Goa'uld, but he didn't think anything about it. "Just take this planet out of the dialing rotation and forget they ever fucking existed."

It was also odd that Jack found himself watching Daniel more than usual, but he didn't think anything about that either.

Teal'c merely arched a brow at his human companions, silently watching these two men he counted as brothers acting oddly. For them, that is. Merely discounting a world which could be of great technological importance was -- a peaceful sensation washed over Teal'c's body, and even his symbiote relaxed and stopped it's constant movement, as if to bask in this warm, comforting glow.

He could not remember what it was he had been thinking, and though he was vaguely disconcerted by such an occurrence, Major Carter arrived with General Hammond.

She was the most exquisite woman he'd ever seen.

Jack straightened up slightly in his chair, from where he'd been leaning across to peer into the camcorder beside Daniel, and moved back to his side of the table. "General," he greeted, and couldn't quite dredge up the energy to salute. "Major."

And Sam wasn't even acknowledging him. He turned his head just enough to follow her line of sight, and she was, surprisingly, staring at Teal'c like she'd never seen him before. Very strange, Jack thought to himself, but when Daniel shifted and cleared his throat, Jack's attention was immediately snapped back to him.

Daniel felt Jack staring at him, but he didn't drop his gaze. Instead he straightened, squared his shoulders a little more, and hoped to God his... private... places... cooperated. They'd been out of commission for a while, but it'd do. "General," Daniel greeted, and offered what he hoped was a nice smile. The worried look he got in return wasn't comforting.

"All right people. After speaking with Dr. Frasier, I've decided to give you four days leave, starting tomorrow. You may leave after this briefing is over, and I don't want to see any of you again until Tuesday," General Hammond said. "I understand P3R-118 was difficult for all of you, but I want you to understand that your recent actions have been anything but professional. I want to know what happened on that planet, people," Hammond said, in a voice that said any lip from Jack would result in something nasty.

Jack... really considered not answering, because he wasn't sure he could answer with anything BUT sarcasm. But, as the team leader, and the highest ranking one on the team, it kind of fell to him to answer the General, especially when he was pissy.

"We went to P42-909. We stepped out of the Stargate into a big Goa'uld temple, that we found out later had been built by Ba'al and abandoned, apparently, with the Stargate intact. When we moved out towards the nearest city, the four of us were knocked out by swamp gasses rising from a swamp on the road. We woke up in the city's main palace, met the king, met the princes--who are both annoying sons of bitches, sir, let me tell you. One of 'em wore a lot of feathers, and his name was... Lenny. Something like that."

"Linelos, Jack," Daniel inserted smoothly, all the while pretending that he wasn't staring.

"Right, like I said. He was the oldest. He and his brother Bruce--"

"Daphon," Daniel corrected again.

"Are you doing this briefing or am I?" Jack finally asked, throwing an exasperated glare at Daniel.

Daniel raised the hand with his pen and mouthed a 'sorry' in Jack's general direction.

"SG-13 brought back intel that technology exists within the city more advanced than our own," Hammond said. "I sent you all in because you're the best damn contact team we've got. Were you able to talk to broker a treaty or not?"

A treaty that would... Daniel felt dreamy and nearly sighed. "No, no treaty. He just asked us to find our happiness and sent us on our way."

Damn. They were falling asleep in front of him. Hammond looked back at Jack. "Are we going to be able to go back?"

"Go back? No, sir, not on your life. Hammurabi told us that they would accept no more people from our world, right after he told us to leave," Jack answered. He pointed at Daniel in acceptance of the mouthed apology, and then turned his attention back to Hammond. "I'd say send a damn nuke through, but that's just because the princes pissed me off."

Hammond didn't say anything for a long moment. His worried expression was missed by all of them, who were spacing out in front of him. "All right, people. I'll inform the president. I want you off this base in the next hour, and your written mission report on my desk Tuesday morning."

Daniel exhaled slowly at that as Hammond rose and left with a firm nod at them all, his usual doting look on his face. What a relief. Going home seemed like such a fantastic idea right now. For sleep. And a little quality time with his right hand, which he hadn't indulged in longer than he liked to think about. He tried to ignore Jack, and Sam, who hadn't said a word and was still staring at Teal'c.

What a weird day.

He snatched his stuff up, his cup of coffee and pens and notebooks and folders, and grateful he hadn't had to put on the presentation, high tailed it out of there on a sudden surge of energy.

Not fast enough, it seemed.

"HOLD IT, JACKSON!" Jack bellowed.

"I have a first name you know!" Daniel yelled back, much to the amusement of the passing SFs who were leaving the elevator just as Daniel was getting in it.

"If you get on that elevator, Daniel, I'll beat you black and blue!" Jack sprinted to catch up with him, ignoring the bitching and moaning in his knee as he did so.

"Like to see you try!"

"Give me a minute and you'll see!" He barely caught the elevator by throwing his arm in front of the sensors, and the doors opened fully to let him on the car before they closed again.

Daniel caught his folders as they slipped down and hoisted them up to his chest again, sipping from his mug at the same time. "If you're going to ask me to do anything but go home, the answer is no, Jack."

"So you don't want to split a Chinese take-out tray with me?" Jack asked, reaching down and picking up several of Daniel's folders that were still leaking papers, and tapping them on the side of the elevator to neaten them up.

"As long as I can do it in my house," Daniel said, and as an afterthought, added, "And I can't promise to be good company."

And God, please, don't let him notice his trousers.

"No. We're going to my house. Because unlike you, I actually stock something to drink that isn't water." A little smirk as he put the folders on top of the stack, and waited for the elevator to ding the floor of his office. "Let me stop my office, pick up a couple things, and for cryin' out loud, use a briefcase next time!" Jack shouted as he lunged to catch the folders that were slipping out of the bottom--again--from where Jack had put the others back on top.

Hands. Hands, too close to... oh. He felt flush and feverish, hot all over, and somewhere in the back of his head he was worried. The bigger part of him, the one that wasn't ashamed to admit he had a body with needs, said that Jack provided a comfort zone Daniel didn't have with anyone else, a comfort which could extend to the sexual. His body needed it -- he wasn't gay, at all, but... oh God. Jack was straighter than an arrow. Daniel tried to imagine explaining to him the concept of 'buddy fuck' and all he came up with were scenarios where Jack punched his lights out, threw him out, or rejected him outright.

It was so embarrassing his body's reactions receded, discomfort set in, and he swallowed. "Look Jack... thanks, but… really, I'm not going to be good company. I need to be alone." And work out these emotions. 

"No, you don't," Jack said. "Don't make me carry you out of here, Daniel. Because I'm just about in the mood to do it. You're going to come with me, you're going to eat, you're going to have a beer -- yes, I know, you don't like it, but you're going to drink it anyway and relax -- and then you're going to sleep on my couch, because I'm the Colonel and I fucking say so." Exasperated, Jack yanked all the folders out of Daniel's hands and stuck them under his elbow as the elevator finally opened on his floor.

Daniel reached out, and yanked them all back, grabbing a stray piece of paper as it threatened to float to the floor. "Oh, don't give me that macho crap and respect my space for once, why don't you," he said. The private waiting to get on the elevator stepped back, saluted smartly to Jack, and turned tail and ran.

Jack yanked them back again.  "Respect your space for once? For cryin' out loud, Daniel, we've slept in the same bed together, we've jacked off together, I really don't think there's much more space left for me to respect!!" He dangled the folders in front of Daniel's face as he started walking backwards.

Daniel's mouth dropped open -- he flushed hot and went violently white at the same time, staring at Jack with what could only be akin to absolute horror. There were few times in Daniel's life which surpassed this moment of embarrassment.

He yanked the papers back from Jack a little more roughly than was necessary -- okay, he had every right to it dammit --- and strode past him, every step taking him further and further into anger.

Jack stared openmouthed behind him. "What? What did I say?"

Okay. So he knew what he'd said. But he had a point, dammit! He sighed, and sprinted after Daniel again. "Come on. Leave your stuff in my office and I'll lock it up so nobody can touch it."

Daniel nearly vibrated with anger. He unlocked his lab with trembling, furious fingers and shoved the door open, throwing the lights on. He slammed his folders down on his desk, ignoring the papers that fluttered and the fertility statue that teetered dangerously before righting itself again. His coffee sloshed in his cup. "You know, Jack, there are times when your arrogance should surprise you. This is one of those times," he snapped, and dropped into his chair with his coffee. "Get out of my lab."

"No." In fact? "Hell no." Jack leaned himself against the doorway.

"Yes," Daniel said, and finally glared up at him. It was easy to ignore the flash of heat when he was this mad.

"No," Jack said again, not budging from his spot. His arms crossed over his chest as his feet crossed at the ankles as Jack took up the classic Immovable Object position.

Rumor had it he had once barricaded a door using that same pose for thirty straight hours.

It'd only been fifteen, and Daniel had been being stubborn that time, too.

Daniel glare turned positively glacial. "Yes."

"No way in hell." Jack returned the cold stare with a hot one of his own.

"Do you honestly think after that last comment I want your company?" Daniel snapped, and rose. Locker room. Clothes. Home. In that order. And if Jack O'Neill thought he was going to get around him he had something else coming.

"Why not? I just told you the truth, Daniel. When you've gotten that friendly with someone? There's not a lot of space left to respect."

And what if Jack was a little hurt by Daniel's reaction? He just let it go down deep, and didn't show it a bit. "Unless you've suddenly developed an intense desire not to hang around me, prior to the elevator ride, that is."

Daniel wanted to lash out. He really did. But Jack was... God, he was like a damn kicked puppy, and the glare softened just a little. A smidge. A tiny bit. He paired it with a grimace at him, just to let him know what an uncultured swine he was, and lifted his head proudly as he headed to the locker room.

Jack smiled at the melt in Daniel's glare, and followed him through the lab, and towards the locker room. "We'll stop by my office on the way out." Pause. "If you're still up to dinner."

"Your charm didn't win me over," Daniel said, a warning note in his voice still. So not off the hook. "And we watch the National Geographic channel. And drink wine, not that cat piss you call beer."

"I'll give you the National Geographic channel," Jack groused. "Even though there's an Avalanche game tonight," he added pitifully. "But no. If you get the TV, I get the beer."

Daniel glared at him out of the corner of his eye. "Deal. I'm going to go change and get my allergy medication from Janet. I'll meet you at your house in a half hour."

"Uh, no." Jack finally moved over to his own locker and pulled out the civvies that lived there. "You go get your medicine from Frasier, I go to my office and get my gun and my wallet, and you meet me topside in fifteen minutes."

Daniel's eyes narrowed again. "I'm driving my own car, Jack. I've got the snow tires on, and you drive like a madman."

"I do not drive like a madman, dammit." Jack pulled the top half of the flight suit down, baring his chest for a few instants as he pulled the white t-shirt down over it. "I drive a four by four with chains. I think my truck is going to be safer than that little sardine can of yours."

"It's a Volvo, first of--" and there went his voice. For the first time in Daniel's life, he lost the ability to speak. And he knew it was obvious, even as his eyes slammed anywhere that wasn't on Jack's...

God, what the hell was wrong with him?

He looked anywhere but at Jack and quickly pulled his civvies out of his locker, dropping the dark jeans and soft white sweater on the bench, and quickly began to change. "Uh," he said, clearing his throat. "My car gets me where I need to go. It's reliable."

If Jack noticed Daniel's sudden train of thought, he didn't say anything about it. He just turned around to face him, instead of yelling over his shoulder. The white t-shirt got tugged down over his belly, with a scratch for good measure, and he started peeling off his boots and the bottom half of the flight suit. "Reliable my ass. We're takin' my truck. And we're getting moo goo gai pan and a platter of fried rice."

Right. Chinese.

Daniel got a grip of himself -- not literally, though that would have been nice -- and shucked out of his clothes easily. He dressed quickly, pushing into his jacket a few moments later, and rubbed a hand through his still somewhat damp hair. "Right. Uh... okay."

Jack watched the entire process out of the corner of his eye, and he felt a little growl coming on when he noticed a shadow flit by the locker room door as someone innocently passed by. He pulled his suit off and his jeans on in the next second, sucking in and doing a little shimmy of his hips to get them all the way up and settled before tucking the white shirt into them and zipping up. His favorite leather jacket was the last thing, and he shrugged easily into it, and flashed Daniel a grin. "You ready? Remember. Topside. Fifteen minutes."

"Yeah, I know," Daniel said, and when Jack had finished, he jerked his head for Jack to follow and led the way to the infirmary.

It was getting late. The halls had thinned since they'd been there a few hours before, and it was only a matter of a few young airmen getting too scared of getting in Jack's way that got them to the infirmary as quickly as they did.

He got his allergy medication and a topical cream Janet had given him for the healing incision on his belly, and after a few minutes chatter over Cassie, they were on their way once again, to Jack's famed office. No one but a select few knew where it was -- many believed Jack kept the heads of dead Goa'uld mounted in there. Or at least rambunctious SF's.

In fact, it was a dusty hole-in-a-box because whoever had assigned offices had been smart in knowing Jack would never use his. The desk drawers filled with candy and yo-yos was a testament to that fact.

"Aaaaah... home sweet home." Jack plunked himself down behind the desk, putting his feet up as he gestured towards the corner nearest Daniel. "Take a load off." He raised his hip enough to pull a ring of keys out of his pocket, and he unlocked the top drawer of his desk. "Ooo! Thought I'd lost this!"

He held up a particularly putrid looking purple and fluorescent green yo-yo, and gave it a few experimental flicks as he rooted through the drawer. "I know it's here somewhere..."

"How anything can be here is a mystery of God and Man, Jack," Daniel muttered, leaning his shoulder on the doorframe as he watched Jack root like a kid. He gave the paper tacked to the wall by the light switch a look -- Jack's mission report to Chulak from three weeks ago -- and sighed.

"Yeah, but just think of all the treasures you can unearth in here in a hundred years, Mr. Archaeologist," Jack said with a great deal of relish as he dug through the rest of the drawer.

It was a testament to how long it'd been since Jack had been off-base that his gun box was buried at the bottom of the drawer, but he finally found it, and brushed several candy wrappers off as he switched keys and opened the box.

Checked the clip, racked the slide, and sighted along the sight, and when he was happy, he slid it into the back of his jeans, tucked carefully against the small of his back. "Okay. Now, I just have to find my wallet."

"Second drawer to the left, under the extra box of staples," Daniel said without a brow twitched.

Jack didn't say a word, just followed Daniel's instructions, and his brow raised when he found his wallet, nestled in the corner of the drawer, under his extra box of staples. "I should be afraid you know that," he grumped, and stood up to tuck his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans.

"I had a chocolate bar before we left," Daniel admitted, and looked away when Jack arched up to tuck his wallet into his pants. "Keys are behind you."

"So you're the one raiding my stash," Jack said with a glare, and turned behind himself to pick up the keys. He locked the drawers of his desk again, and dusted off his backside from where he'd gotten dust on it from the chair. "Okay. It's time for us to get out. Hammond's gonna kill us for being late as it is."

It was for that reason that Daniel didn't sneak back to his lab. That, and he didn't trust himself not to run off like a bat out of hell as soon as he left Jack's side.

There was a hum under his skin. Something new and strange and kind of scary.

When Daniel didn't give a verbal response, all Jack did was grin at him, sling his arm around Daniel's shoulder, and drag him out of the dusty, messy office and back towards the elevator. "Don't look like I'm dragging you off to die, Danny boy."

Not die, no. "Special on pygmy mating rites in Polynesia. That's all I'm saying."

"After a couple bottles of Corona? I'm not going to care who or what the pygmies mate with," was Jack's sweetly-smiled answer as he used his elbow to press the button for the elevator.

"That cat piss is going to eat away your liver some day, Jack," Daniel said, glancing up at him. So warm. Pressed to his side.

"Of course it is." Jack squeezed Daniel a little more tightly to his side, just because he could. "And I have faith that you'll donate half your liver to me when the time comes." Another grin. "I'm kidding."

"I'm not. You've got to take better care of yourself and oh dear God I've become you," Daniel said, horrified look and all.

Jack's beam couldn't have been brighter if he'd swallowed the sun. "That's my boy!" he crowed, and dragged Daniel into the elevator after him.

Daniel elbowed Jack out of the way, grabbed the clipboard from the poor woman left hanging with it in hand, signed out, and then followed Jack into the second elevator up. "Huh. Sam and Teal'c left together. Its weird, they didn't say anything before leaving."

Jack sighed. "If they're smart? Sam is taking Teal'c somewhere to get him drunk, and then taking him home to sleep it off. Those two both need to relax."

Daniel shrugged the shoulder currently not under Jack's hand. "A drunk Jaffa is something I could have lived without imagining, Jack," he said. And just because Jack was this close, and Daniel was feeling daring, he said, "Jack, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can. I'll even answer." He grinned as he dragged Daniel over towards his truck. His baby. His prized possession in the world.

The living embodiment of his phallus. "Uh, it's about P3R-118."

"You mean the shithole we just left?"

"No. The shithole where we forgot all our names," Daniel said, knowing full well Jack knew what he was talking about.

Well, yes, Jack had, but that was beside the point. "Go ahead then," he said with a nod, and he unlocked the doors of the truck. "C'mon. Get in out of the cold and I'll turn the heater on."

It wasn't that cold, but then again, it was a parking garage. On the surface it had to be freezing, and Daniel willingly slid onto the creamy leather seats and fastened his belt. He'd done it so many times it came like clock work. He waited until Jack was in and they were on their way up to say anything. "About you. And Sam."

"What about me and Carter?" Jack asked gruffly.

Very much not a subject that he wanted to be dealing with. He'd rather be talking about him and Daniel. But. He'd promised to answer.

Daniel shrugged a shoulder. "It just made me wonder, Jack. What you would do if she wasn't your subordinate, I mean."

Jack was quiet for several very long minutes. "That's a hell of a big if, Daniel, and one that's actually not likely to happen any time soon. I like Carter just fine. I don't think about her past that."

A strange jealousy in Daniel's chest eased, loosening its tight hold around his heart. He gave his first, slightly crooked confused smile, and let his eyebrows furrow a bit. "She's a beautiful woman. if she weren't practically our sister, it'd be possible. That's why... on the planet, you were... well, you didn't remember she was practically your sister. That's all."

Jack's jaw tightened just a little. "Yeah, I remember what I didn't remember. And yeah, Carter's not bad to look at. Thing is, Daniel, Jack O'Neill doesn't think about Carter beyond friendship because that's all there's ever going to be. I'm not interested in Carter because she is my subordinate. If she wasn't, then it would still not happen because there's been way too many years of that being the case now, and too many people would ask questions about what we did while we were still on SG-1 together. Nothing has happened, and nothing will happen. Period."

Daniel kept the pleased look off of his face with effort. Sorry, Sam, he thought, and sideglanced Jack with interest. "So that doesn't include the civilians on base," he said casually.

"If you've got the damned fool idea in your head to set me up with somebody, don't," Jack growled, giving Daniel an evil glare out of the corner of his eye. He stopped to flash his ID at the guard post gate, and it slowly slid aside to let Jack's truck out of the Mountain.

Daniel shifted his long legs inside the luxuriously large cab of the truck. He was curious, too curious, and his thoughts were racing. His pulse was going so hard he was sure Jack would be able to see it in his throat if he looked hard enough. "Why not?"

Jack turned to glare at Daniel, as he kept his eye on the momentarily empty highway. "Because, Mr. Matchmaker, I already have someone in mind that I'm figuring out how to pursue."

And there was the jealousy again; it squeezed his heart furiously. He hadn't felt like this since he thought one of Shau're's many friends had been seducing her. He was a little angry to, irrationally angry, and his brows furrowed again deeply as he unconsciously crossed his arms over his chest as if cold. "Yeah? Who is she?"

Jack just glared at Daniel without answering, because the honest truth was, he actually didn't have his eye on anyone, at the base or otherwise. It'd just been a snappy way to get the matchmaking nipped in the bud, but he couldn't figure out why in the hell Daniel was acting so pissy about it.

"None of your business."

Granted, it wasn't. But Daniel was jealous enough to glare at Jack out of the corner of his eye. "If it's one of my anthropologists, it is my business. I don't want anything interfering with their work at the Mountain."

"It's not one of your archaeologists," Jack grunted. He didn't like the glare he was getting from Daniel, because that meant Daniel was still pissed off and Jack didn't like pissy Daniel.

Daniel's glare went suspicious, but he changed the subject, lest he rip Jack's head off, the blind idiot. "Where are we going?"

"Uncle Wong's Hong Kong Inn," Jack answered, slightly relieved at the subject change. "There's a little store next to them that you can go pick up the beer at while I get the food."

Daniel glanced at Jack calmly. "You know, Jack, dog is a delicacy in some parts of China."

"Yes, I've heard. I figured that's why the neighborhood here doesn't have many strays," Jack answered back, drumming his fingers lightly on the steering wheel.

Daniel managed not to roll his eyes. He was still irritated, adamantly so, in fact. And he had a right to it. …Sort of. If his ire wasn't so directionless, anyway. If Jack's love of dogs hadn't stopped him from eating Chinese, which of course wasn't made with dog but... yes, Daniel was just irritating him because he could.

"I can hear you being pissy all the way over there," Jack grunted again, glaring out of the corner of his eye.

"Well I wouldn't be pissy if you hadn't just told me you've been eyeing up some woman in my department!" Daniel snapped, glaring all the harder at him. Open hostility -- God it felt good.

"I told you it wasn't anyone in your department!" Jack snapped back. "What more do you want out of me?"

Okay. That thought stopped, right there. Even if he knew it was true with everything inside of him. He wasn't gay. Jack wasn't gay.

What the hell was wrong with him?

"Just stop... being... yourself! You, with the charm and the flirting!" Daniel said, as if that answered everything.

"Oh, that's real logical," Jack sneered. "Stop being myself? Dammit, Daniel, if you've got a problem with me because of 118, spit it out and stop this pussyfooting around! And tell me what you want from Uncle Wong's!" Jack swung the pickup into the furthest right-hand lane, to get ready to turn into the restaurant parking lot.

"Oh, I've got a huge problem," Daniel snapped. "Huge!"

Okay, he had no problem. Aside from the whole memory loss thing, and the fact that Jack had hated him, and he'd flirted with Sam. Yes, what WASN'T a huge problem?!

"Then what the fuck is it?" Jack's foot stomped the accelerator as he tore through the stop light, and then he flicked on his turn signal.

"Just drop it," Daniel snapped back, and glared at Uncle Wong's, the most god awful place on the planet, and WHY Jack insisted on eating there was a mystery, but Daniel found himself saying, "Sweet chicken with rice."

"Bullshit I'm gonna drop it. You're the one with the problem, pal, and do you want white rice or fried?" Jack jerked the keys out of the ignition as soon as he'd parked, and yanked out his wallet. "Here, get a case and a bag of peanuts," he said, giving Daniel enough money to buy the beer and the peanuts. "I've got wine for you at home."

"Fried. And I've got money," Daniel snapped, and snatched the twenty out of Jack's hands anyway, slamming out of the car.

And out into the freezing cold. Too bad he'd only brought his trusty old brown jacket, because it was freezing outside. And for a kid who'd grown up on the sand dunes of Egypt and the hot sands of California, he was nearly shaking in his shoes. He made sure the truck door was locked before turning and striding purposely away, head held high in anger.

Jack was going to wring Daniel's pretty, attractive little neck before the night was through.

Of course Daniel had money.

But Jack wasn't going to let Daniel spend it on beer, which he didn't drink or even like that well in the first place, when Jack was going to be the one doing all the drinking.

And if Daniel didn't like it, Daniel could kiss his camouflaged ass.

Jack stormed into Uncle Wong's, and laid out his order. "Um... sweet chicken platter with fried rice, two moo goo gai pan platters, one with white and one with fried, chicken chow mein platter with fried rice, a half dozen egg rolls, and some of those crunchy little noodley things."

The wizened old man behind the counter knew Jack O'Neill quite well. "You eating for two now, Kernel Jack?" Little snicker. "Thirty-t'ree fifty."

"I've got someone having dinner with me, Uncle Wong," Jack chastised. "From work," he added, with a raised eyebrow. "None of your romance crap like last time."

Wong just shook his head, and made change for Jack. "You need have fun and get laid. We give you extra fortune cookies and soup to share. No forget to go next door for drink."

Jack looked at the door. "Yeah, now that you mention it. Wouldn't hurt to make sure he's getting the right stuff. I'll be back." Jack left the warmth of the little restaurant and headed towards the convenience store.

Where Daniel was making change for a kid for a soda machine in front of the store. He couldn't have been more than eighteen, and he'd asked so nicely that Daniel couldn't keep from helping him, even in the pissed off mood he was in. He currently had his hand in his pocket, digging for change, and handed the kid the dollar in quarters without taking the bill he was offering in return.

Jack's hackles rose.

What the fuck was that little bastard doing standing so close to Daniel? What the fuck was Daniel doing standing in that fucking kid's pants?

Since Daniel's last haircut, he didn't have the long hair to hide behind, and Jack could see the smile on Daniel's face.

Oh, Jack was itching to pull his gun and scare the piss out of the kid. And the only reason he didn't was because he had hopes of getting laid that night.

... okay, what? Jack shook his head, and pulled his gun out anyway, holding it casually as he walked towards Daniel. "Danny! Kid bothering you?"

"Hmm? Oh, no. Just needed change." He nodded at the kid as he turned and all but bolted in light of the angry glow in Jack's eyes. Oh, still pissed, was he? "Worried I wasn't going to get you the right beer, Jack?" he said snidely, anger darkening his own eyes as he went into the convenience store.

Jack watched with immense satisfaction as the kid bolted, and Jack tucked his gun back into his jeans. "Knowing you? I figured you'd come out with some low-calorie light shit that wouldn't be fit to drink."

Daniel ignored him totally. "And what the hell are you doing, waving around a gun in a place like this? If Jose didn't know you, your ass would be going down town right now," he said furiously, waving a hand at Jose who merely looked up bored from his magazine and waved back. Nothing new about the two of them fighting, after all.

Jack raised a hand to Jose, and waved back. "I thought the kid was giving you a hard time," Jack bullshitted easily.

"And," he added, with a glare, "I'd come out with that cat piss you like because that's all you'll drink. How exactly do you keep yourself alive, Jack, on cat piss and Chinese food?" His glare darkened. "If he was bothering me, then that's my problem, not yours. Maybe I like being bothered. Ever think of that?"

"It's good for you. Builds strong bones and healthy teeth," Jack countered. "And it's not cat piss, thank you very much, it's cheap Mexican beer." He pointed at Daniel. "If something or somebody is bothering you, that's my problem. I'm team leader, and I take care of the team, even when we're off-duty. You got me, Daniel?" His finger waggled and moved in the air as Jack spoke to emphasize his point.

"Oh, that is total crap," Daniel declared, and thumped a case of Jack's favorite beer on his chest. "You're a control freak, and you know it," he said airily, turned on his heel, and stomped towards the register.

"I am not a control freak!" Jack shouted, grabbing up a bag of salted peanuts and throwing them down on top of the case of beer.

"Oh, you are so a control freak. Everything has to be about what you want and when you want it! We're off duty, Jack, and I'm a grown man!" Daniel snarled, grabbed a case of the expensive, imported beer he liked too.

"And you're still a part of my team, on or off duty!" Jack snarled back, throwing his beer on the counter to be rung up, and slung Daniel's on the counter beside it. Last on the counter was the beer, and Jack held out his hand. "Shell it out, Danny boy. Ten bucks for your case, and I'll buy my own."

"I was *going* to, you... you..." Daniel clamped his jaw closed furiously and opened his wallet. Jose just looked at them both blandly.

"I know you were," Jack agreed. "I'm just trying to not take care of you by letting you," he said blandly. "Jose, got that kid of yours to carry these out to the truck for me? I gotta go back to Wong's and pick up dinner."

"Sí, Colonel," Jose answered, taking the money that Jack and Daniel handed him. "He is in the back, but I will call him for you."

"I can carry it myself!" Daniel snapped at him, and gave Jose a disapproving look. The man just looked at him with a blank look on his face. Immune to it by now. Daniel turned his disapproving look back on Jack.

"I do not argue with the man carrying the gun, Señor Jackson," Jose answered calmly. "If you wish to murder him, please do not in my parking lot. The *policía* already think I am bad influence in the neighborhood."

"Gee, thanks, Jose," Jack said, glaring at the man and picking up his case of beer and bag of peanuts before stalking out.

Daniel gave him a withering look, thanked him, and stomped out after Jack. The cold took his breath away as soon as he went outside -- which could be because it was November in Colorado Springs -- and he was dancing by the time he got to Jack's truck, sticking the boxes in the back seat and shivering under his sweater.

Jack shoved the keys back in the ignition and gave Daniel a black look. "If my baby's not out here when I come out with the Chinese, I'm going to hunt you down and kill you painfully, do I make myself clear?" The key in the ignition had hot air blowing out of the heater almost instantly.

Daniel just gave him another withering look down his nose as he did up his belt.

Jack slammed the driver's side door closed, and stalked back into the Chinese restaurant.

"Kernel Jack!" Wong crowed. He held out the beer box that held Jack's order. "Extra noodley things, extra cookies, soup for two, and..." Wong held up a little glass bottle. "Special Japanese rice wine for you and friend."

"Dammit, Wong!" But Jack took the box. "Not that kind of friend!"

Wong just sniffed. "If not, should be!!" he yelled after Jack as Jack left his restaurant.

Jack balanced the box out the door, and carried it out to the truck. He managed to get the crew cab door open, and he slid the food behind Daniel's seat. "Okay. Got the food, got the liquor. We're ready." He ran back around the truck, and slid in behind the wheel. He notched the heat up once, to get it a little warmer, and looked at Daniel out of the corner of his eye. "Okay, Daniel. Spill it. What the fuck crawled up your ass this time?"

...And Daniel was going to ignore that thought entirely. "Nothing has crawled up my ass, Jack. You're just acting like an overbearing, overprotective jackass, not to put too frank a point on it. Oh, wait. I just did!"

"And this has what to do with 118?" Jack growled. "Because you've had this problem with me ever since we got our memories back!"

"I haven't had a problem with you! I just find it surprising -- and upsetting! -- that you and I were enemies on that planet! Doesn't speak much to our friendship, does it?" Daniel said, anger in his voice. "And it's like you're trying to compensate for it by pretending I'm three!"

That was kind of too close to the truth. He couldn't quite figure out why he'd disliked Daniel when he wasn't himself. The closer truth? Jack was treating Daniel like he was three because he'd let Daniel be hurt--let the whole team be hurt by that damned Administrator, in fact--and maybe he was overcompensating a little bit.

But dammit, it was Daniel.  Who should have fucking understood.

"I'm not trying to compensate for anything!" Jack answered. "I let my team down, Daniel, all right? Let my team down, and you all could have been killed. We could have lost Teal'c, we could have lost you and Carter, and that's my fault, okay?"

"Hardly. You had your brains scrambled, just like the rest of us," Daniel said, and jerked a finger at him. "But you need to stop all of this ordering me to eat and sleep and drink and whatever else. I'm thirty five years old, and have spent my entire life taking care of myself. I don't need you telling me what to do, and! AND! Who to talk to! What the hell was that with the kid in front of the convenience store?!"

"'Hardly' my ass," Jack growled, raising his own finger to point right back. "I'm the Colonel, Daniel. The leader. The team leader. That means I'm responsible for all three of you and making sure that you three are safe are my top priority. I fucked up, don't you get it?" He poked his finger at Daniel. "That kid could have been bothering you! You heard Jose! This ain't a nice neighborhood. There's hustles and muggings all the time."

"No. You know what? I understand you're responsible for us, but you can't change a situation you had absolutely no control over. I get guilt, but save it for something better. In our line of work there's a whole heap of it," Daniel said, glared for what felt like the millionth time, and watched Jack jerk his finger.

A finger Daniel suddenly had the impossible urge to bite.

Oh, fuck it.

"You know what your problem is, Jack? You need to have sex."

Jack's foot tramped the brake almost through the floor, laying a stripe of black rubber down the highway as he turned to look at Daniel. He flipped off the red sports car that roared past them, horn blaring. "WHAT?"

"You heard me. You need to have sex." Daniel turned his eyes, calm and sure and aggravated and completely rational. Scientist mode. Find a solution for a problem, and all were pointing at... well. "In fact, you need to have sex with me."