There is a commercial that tells us to love the skin we in. I love that phrase...it has a double meaning, but the one I take is the one about loving oneself, about loving who and what we are. As women, few of us ever get there. We will have a myriad of excuses as to why we can't. We will say we need to be thinner, have a smaller backside, when we get the kids raised, when we finally conceive that long awaited child, when we find a new job, when we get divorced or find that special relationship. This is so incongruent.
Women have a more full and rounded sense of emotions than men have and we are, luckily, less socially inhibited about it. A man who cries in public may be thought of as weak, but for a woman to do it, it isn't viewed that way at all. This propensity for the showing of emotion has been used against women through the ages, when it could have brought us a greater sisterhood, could have united us, but has been, instead, quite divisive.
As women, we have tolerated every double standard ever created. We have internalized that ours is not empowerment, ours is weakness. We can't control what we put in our mouths, let alone control the world! We are perseverate on our weight, our looks and not on the beauty that lies within. We let the world judge us and then we internalize all the negativity it has to offer. We see ourselves as a vessel half empty, not one half full and why only half full?
We also seem to despise one another. I know, I have been on that side, the side that just hates that "together" woman, the one over the age of 30. You know her, she has her hair fixed up, makeup on, nice clothes and shoes. Her nails are done, her toenails are done. She looks good and every male anywhere near her, goes out of his way to look...including the one standing next to you. Somehow, other women judge her as self-centered, or vain. What you are really seeing in this woman is a woman who cares about herself. She understands the world is looking at her and her appearance is drawing attention, but she understands that she can use this power to her advantage. She is also more secure in herself and has made a commitment to personal growth, self-care and beauty...as in letting her inner beauty radiate outward.
I have lost some of you by this point. Your thoughts are on the 20 or 30 pounds you think you need to lose before you try this stunt of wearing your insides out. You have formulated an angry little person inside who rules what you get to do, or not do. This is a little voice that keeps telling you, you are unworthy. Wanna make a bet, you are unworthy? Who stops you from being worthy? Ummm....you?
The key to growing past things that hurt you and into things you want, comes first with loving the skin you are in. This can mean loving every pound, every pimple, every displaced bulge and everything you think needs to be hidden under baggy clothing or just plain ignored. Be the best you, you can be. Shed the baggy, ugly clothing for something that fits better, compliments your skin, hair or shape, whatever that shape is. You are saying, I can't stand makeup on my face, aren't you? A little makeup can make a lot of difference. Diminish those circles under your eyes with some concealer, run a mascara wand through those lashes, just a bit and put on a light shade of lipstick. Wear a smile and leave others with the impression that you care about yourself. You have no idea the difference this will make in your life.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF AS YOU ARE. Believe me, you will find you are too expansive for your skin and too expansive for all those limitations you and your life have set for you. Outgrow your life.