My son is now a man. He is 19 and cocky. At work, he goes by "Mr. Legendary" for his customer service. At home, he is a legendary mess. Every surface he walks past is replete with a pile of his rubbish. We can't sit down, we have nowhere to eat, we have to trip around things to get to others. Worst of all are his size 18 shoes are packed near the back door like barges awaiting a load.
Then, there is the dish, flatware, microwave container problem. I am literally down to 6 forks from a set of 24. When asked about this, he smirks and snickers. He finds this problem funny. I wonder how funny it will be when this flatware becomes his, when he moves out on his own this fall. It is a "gift" for his first apartment. I hope he leaves one on the couch and sits on it. That is a better use for the forks than what he must be doing with them now.
He can't seem to find a hamper for his clothing. He has been given one that was a trash can, the kind you put at the curb. It was new and clean and fresh. Of course, it made a much better storage container for his empty pop cans. When it overflowed, he just started a pile on the floor. Then, he needed more space and kicked them around.
Now you and I, we work hard for our nickels and dimes. He, apparently, has no regard for change. There is enough on the floor of his room to stock a small bank...for a week. I pick it up and keep it. I figure that he doesn't care, or he would pick it up. The $100 bills he keeps tossed on his desk, he might miss them. He works, they are his, he just forgets about them. Maybe I should be taking them in rent?
I don't know why it is, but he can't keep sheets on his bed. He just can't manage it. I can make up his bed (and I resist most of the time) and the next morning, he is this mummy roll of sheets, blankets and mattress pad. He never puts them back on either. I wash them all when I can smell them, which is about three or four times a month. He has let all his towels go moldly and now full of holes. Another little gift for his apartment! When he is drying on rags, maybe he will get a clue and spend that spare change on a towel or two.
Why do I put up with this? Because he didn't live with me for two and a half years and he came home a basket case of nerves. Whenever anything happened, he was vomiting and shaking. It took us a year before I could talk to him about anything. He heard his father yell at him, not my gentle way of asking for him to do something. He hears me now, but he still doesn't listen. On the other hand, he has worked since he came home, not something he did at his dad's. He is working for Kroger locally and should have a job for life, if he plays it right. He has a boss who will get him to sit the GED. The boss is working on getting him a management title and the college tuition that comes with this, not to mention the guarantee of 40 hrs a week. I believe that a woman or a roommate will shape him up. Either that, or the loss of a hefty damage deposit to a landlord who didn't like the mess he left. I hope I am accomplishing something else with him, because tidiness isn't in this picture.
The things we do for love.
Volume 1, copyright 2003 by Dragonfly