Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot. Pairings: 1x2, ?x1 Rating: R in the future Warnings: AU, yaoi, limey stuff in the future, dark, angst Feedback: Hai thank you! If you have anything to say :P BGM: Gackt and Final Fantasy IX Thanks: To my muse, Katie... and to Taes (got the letter already?!? I got both of yours... don't worry, your handwriting isn't bad at all... mostly ;). And to everyone who has been missing me :) I love and miss ya all!!! 5.35 a.m - Trusting Duo stared at his reflection intently, his violet eyes blazing with something you could almost call fire. He didn't care about the slamming sound of the door downstairs, or the running steps outside the opened window. In the mirror he could see himself, his features as tight as wire, his mouth only a thin line and his jaw set up high. Then he suddenly turned around with fluent movement and ran to the window, his chestnut braid of gold thumping forcefully against his back as he stopped abruptly. "Solo! You better drag that sorry ass of yours right now, or..." He wasn't sure how to continue the obvious threat in his words and voice, which was hoarse with both annoyance and rage, echoing in the empty air. When he saw the figure in the garden turning around and after a little hesitant pause, slowly return to the house, he closed the clean window quietly and carefully, trying his best to calm down. But it was hard since the favour his brother had asked for had been so absolutely ridiculous that it made Duo's blood boil with fear and disgust. There was absolutely no way, not now, not ever, that he would go out with some Heero Yuy he didn't even know! After a little while a hesitant and quiet knock could be heard, announcing that Solo had arrived before he actually opened the door, giving Duo time to prepare for the upcoming encounter, which wouldn't probably be one of the nicest between the identical twins. Duo heard the soft steps of his brother's feet, but didn't bother to turn around. He just kept staring out of the window, letting his thoughts and imagination fly freely for a short while, smelling the fresh scent of summer and nature, almost being able to taste it. He gradually let his posture go slack and relaxed again, actually almost enjoying the unpleasant silence that had landed in the small but cosy room. But Duo wasn't going to give in to talking yet: if Solo had a favour to ask, he better open his annoying mouth first and explain just exactly why on earth he wanted Duo to date Heero since Duo himself couldn't figure out any reason good enough. Luckily Duo didn't have to wait for long, since Solo was growing impatient, almost visibly squirming in his place on the doorstep. "Duo, bro... ya know I wouldn't ask you anything like this unless I really needed your help!" With some cruel sense of satisfaction Duo noticed how his brother's voice took on a pleading note, raising slightly. He turned to face Solo with a smug expression, intending to make his brother suffer for his stupid idea. But when he saw Solo's abnormally pale face and flat eyes, which usually sparkled along with Duo's own, his satisfied grin turned into a frown of deep concern. "Solo... what's wrong?" Duo stepped froward hastily, reaching out to touch Solo's forehead with his hand, only to notice it was burning hot. "Fuck you, Solo! You have only-God-knows-how-much of fever and there you go running around clad only in those black pajamas mom bought you! You jerk!" Duo's agitated voice didn't seem to cause any visible changes in Solo's expression, but the way his shoulders slumped forwards revealed how tired he truly was. And there could be seen a small tinge of guilt in his eyes, lingering in the violet depths. But he didn't have a chance to say anything before his twin grabbed his wrist tightly and pulled him to lay on Duo's neatly-made bed, covering him with a thin blanket. Then Duo sat next to the only person that knew everything about him and started to speak again, this time with a voice filled almost only with pure concern only a brother can feel towards his siblings.   "Why didn't you tell me you were sick in the first place, you idiot?" "Well, I did try, but you kept interrupting..." Solo's voice disappeared into a storm of strong coughing. An ashamed blush coloured Duo's cheeks as the unintentionally blaming words left Solo's mouth. It was true, though; Solo had been trying to say something desperately when he had first told Duo about his wish, but Duo had been so angry that he hadn't let his brother to finish what he had had to say. And now to think of it, the reasons why Duo didn't want to do this weren't so serious. Ok, Duo hated to be used like this and the fact it was Solo asking for a favour didn't make any difference. Second, he had absolutely no idea who that Heero Yuy was. He only knew that he was handsome and mysterious, according to Solo who had been head over heels in love with the guy for over half a year now. He said that Heero was actually a nice and friendly guy once you got past his cold exterior. But because Duo knew Solo was drooling after Yuy, and really drooling with capital letters, he couldn't just believe all Solo told him. Love had a bad habit of blinding person's mind and preventing it from thinking straight. But now, finally, this Heero Yuy had asked Solo to go out on a date with him, but poor Solo had gotten sick and was now unable to go. So he decided to ask his dear twin brother to go instead of him, pretending to be him. The idea sounded actually pretty great, but Duo knew Heero would later be able to tell he had been the first time because Duo and Solo's personalities were as different as summer and winter, Solo being the more summery one. In the past it had been the other way around: Solo had been the shy and silent one while Duo was always talking and making friends, laughing cheerfully just because he loved life more than anything. He was the one who kept everyone's spirits high, even if it was a rainy day outside or inside the human mind. But when Duo's best friend, Hilde, had suddenly died in a car crash without any warning, Duo had become silent and withdrawn, not being able to face the huge crowds of smiling and laughing people anymore. And for Duo's sake Solo had become more sociable; had learned how to make jokes and how to get along with both young and old people. But he didn't have the natural gift like his brother did, and this annoyed him to no end. Later Duo had changed the school, his mind already breaking under the pressure of trying to cope with the death of his one and true soulmate, the school they used to go to together being a continuous and painful reminder of what had happened. But once Solo had come out of his shell, he had accepted that new personality as his own, not even wanting to change back to that old Solo, who hardly spoke a word to anyone.    "Sorry Solo, I shoulda heard ya out before starting to blame ya..." Solo just smiled slightly, his eyes trying to focus on Duo's apologetic features. "Yes, you should have. But it's ok... just do me this one favour; I'm sure he will never find out." There was a long silence again, which stretched and stretched as Duo pondered about the different opinions he had to choose from. "Solo... why don't ya just call him and tell him you're sick? He will understand, I'm sure. You know me, I ain't good with people anymore, I'm way too deeply hurt, I- " "Duo, stop babbling! You are not making any sense. I know you can be the sweet and charming person I am for only a couple of hours." Duo smiled absentmindedly at the lame joke, feeling his stomach already tightening from a mere thought of spending the afternoon with a total stranger, pretending to be somebody he most definitely was not. Not anymore. He let his eyes wander freely on the posters hanging on the otherwise plain white walls, his gaze finally stopping the huge poster of a full moon's reflection on a clear surface of a middle-sized pond. In the lower left corner there was a beautiful indian girl, holding a full bucket of water. The whole poster was dark blue and black, the moon being its only source of light. But Duo never ceased to wonder how that small pale thing in the night sky managed to light the indian girl's eyes so perfectly. Next to the girl there was a text 'Paradise?'. Slowly Duo shook his head, trying to clear his mind. This was one of the great differences between him and Solo: they valued completely different things in life. Solo appreciated things he could touch the most and Duo on the other hand was everything but material. Music, imagination and life itself meant the world to him, but nothing could ever replace the place in his mind that was reserved for Solo.  "Ok, I'll do it. But only for this one time and because you look so terribly piteous laying there and sneezing your nose off." His voice was thin and full of fear towards the upcoming afternoon. But for Solo he would do pretty much everything. He would even consider dying for him. No, he would surely die for him. And the glorious but sad smile Solo gave him was the best reward he could have ever gotten.  But only for Solo. -> Back to Leena's fanfiction -> To "Hesitating"