I don't know why I feel the need to write this, or why I have decided to hide in within my journal, but I have to.
Dearest Ash,
The things you said to me tonight touched me. I have spent most of the time since you left, although I would rather not admit it, crying. Mostly because I seem to have upset you, which pains me greatly. I realize now that I really do care very much for you, probably more than I should admit. And now I am at a loss of what to do... I have known you for a very long time, and you are one of the few people who I've managed to become close friends with. This is probably why I refused to think of you as anything more than a friend. Most of my relationships have not gone well, as you might know, and I was afraid that I might end up hurting you as well. After Ian I wasn't so sure I even wanted to have another relationship. But true to my nature, I gave in to the moment. Perhaps I don't know James as well as I should...but he does make me happy. I suppose that is what matters. All the same it seems unfair that I should be happy while you are not. You may never read this, and those that do might not understand...But it had to be said...
I'm stupid. I'm sorry. Forgive me.
Vi