Oldies

Some of my older poems,
originally in danish, rewritten in english..
some of it more than 15 years old by now

The cold fills
the darkness of the night
clear and sharp
my breath
fills the air
white clouds
in the moonlight

i shiver
but from
the cold within
so cold
nothing lives there
anymore
the blodstream
now red crystals
the lungs fighting
one last cloud
in the moonlight

but noone sees
my winter

I travel into
the cold dark night
in a ship of stars
drifting
in the the wave of moonlight
in the sea of nebula
and the galaxy
travels
at the speed of light
I have no more fear
I am embraced by eternity
I have time
and I set the silversail
of my starship of dreams

The days get longer
my step
heavier still
fewer
and fewer
are the moments of
hopes and dreams
dark windows
where are you?
Short glimpses
pounding heart
silence
emptiness
resignation
see me
look at me
give me back
hope

So in love
so immensely bittersweet
so enchanted
and so damned
so strong
and irresisable
so tempting
and all too close

forbidden

no infidelity
too much pain
in infidelity

but I long
oh how I long
for this so close
and so afar
and so forbidden

an hour ?
just an hour ?

but I know
it would never
fill my need
still my hunger
silence my heart

how I long
grant me
strength
to turn away

Your freedom?
You speak of your freedom my love
I ask you :"freedom to do what?"
You say:
"to come and go as I please!"
You ask me for freedom my love
freedom to be, not alone, but lonely
freedom to come home, but to an empty house
freedom to live and to die
with noone there to care witch it is
you say :" I want to live!!!!"
But is what youre asking me for really freedom?
Is that really living?
Or is it just a way to pass time
while going
from you cradle to your grave??
Do you hate me that much
my love??

Look at the ruins
of my
egyptian tempel of happiness

your feline-like eyes
turned to the horisont

your spinx-gaze
over my desert

I have seen the graveyard
of the restless grey days
my crying is silent
tears fall like stones from my eyes
I am involnerable
all my thought are dead

Love
can be tasted
on your tounge
like the bittersweet almond
like the caress of warm wine
can be smelled
like lemons
and the powder in the dressingroom
can be felt
like a sweet shock
and fallrain on your face
can be seen
in the light in a gaze
and the motion of a hand
can be heard
like the beating of a heart
and the silence of the night
can be captured
by your 6th sense
when the world becomes electric
and time stands still

When the shrill of the phone
broke the silence of the morning
I knew what it was

my grandmother died

my father.. Searching for words
fumbling.. hesitating, trying to say

your grandmother died

And I sat there and looked around
and tried to understand
what had happened

that my grandmother died

everything faded into
a dimension of unreal
it looked as allways..
the house, the view,
the sun through the windows
how could the sun shine

when my grandmother had died?

and I couldnt understand why
the clock kept ticking
and the cars kept driving
and the mailman carried on

when my grandmother had died

and I called in at work
and I cried a little on the phone
take the day off they said

And I showered, and i dressed
and I think I forgot
my breakfast

and what do you do on such a day?
I dont know
every time I started something
I wasnt able to finish

I never found out
what you do on such a day

my grandmother was dead

and I went to the store
and stared blankly at the shelf
and couldnt read the note I wrote
of what to buy

and all the time I watched the day
from a distance
through a veil of disbelief
and tried to understand
how this could possibly be
just another day

the day my grandmother died

and all that day
I was so cold
and put on sweaters
and turned up the heat
and I remember thinking
that maybe the cold wasnt around me

and I sat in a chair
while the darkness came
and the colours faded
and the night filled my world
and my heart opened up
and let the tears stream out

and my grandmother had died
while I slept

Opdateret d. 23.3.2002