"For God's sake, put that thing back where you got it from!"

They stood in the rather narrow aisle of a certain specialty boutique in London. Remus was blinking at him, eyes gone all caramel-and-milk-chocolate-colored with false innocence.

"But you wanted something different, you said. Sick to death of the old one, you said."

"Moony, in case it has escaped your notice, I am NOT Scottish."

"Just have a look at this: 'Finest hard wool worsted. Grommet reinforced holes to prevent elongation and tearing. Extra heavy leash attachment loop to prevent separation'--mmm, I like the sound of that."

"I said NO TARTAN!"

Before the barking could escalate to bites, a shopgirl approached them, pink lipstick smile painted cheerily across her face. "Gentlemen, may I help you?" she asked.

"Why, yes, we're looking for--"

"Something practical," said Sirius. "Understated."

"I still think a nice Black Watch is always tasteful," murmured Remus, but the shopgirl seemed not to have heard.

"As you can see from our display," she said brightly, "we offer a number of selections as far as style and material. But the first thing you'll want to consider is size."

"Size?" Remus lifted an eyebrow. "Oh, he's quite large. Bit of a monster, really."

Sirius coughed.

"Frightens the neighbors to no end." A haze of fond reminiscence misted Remus' expression. "Scared the living daylights out of me the first time, too, come to think of it--"

"In that case, I'd suggest something around 50 centimeters in length, and five or six centimeters wide."

"That sounds near enough." Sirius stepped forward to examine the display rack. He was determined to have a proper say in the decision this time. The first one had been a present from Remus, a spontaneous gift that had proved more versatile than either of them ever anticipated, but it had worn out its usefulness at last.

"Have you thought at all about material? Leather, synthetic, nylon--"

"Leather," said Sirius.

"Definitely leather," added Remus.

"Now, wait a minute. What happened to the wool tartan?"

"We're neither of us Scottish, are we?"

"Dammit, Moony--"

"Color preference?" chirped the salesgirl.

"Black," said Sirius.

"Red," said Remus, at exactly the same moment. Both of them frowned.

"The old one was black."

"I thought you LIKED black."

"I did, until he started misbehaving. Perhaps it's time for a refresher course in obedience."

"Look, are we going to have a row about this in the middle of the shop?"

"All I'm saying is that red is more...striking. Visible."

"Black is classic! And it shows up better against my--"

He broke off as the salesgirl held up first one hand, then the other. From each dangled a long, gleaming, glorious, silver-studded dog collar.

One was black, the other red.

"Why not both?" she asked, smiling.

Sirius and Remus looked at each other sidelong. When they spoke, it was in perfect unison.

"Sold."