Starring:

OMI - The moneygrubbing wifebeater pimp, producer of the porn.
AYA - The village bicycle. Omi's bitch.
SCHU - Cameraman that gets into his work...
YOHJI - AAA. (And we don't mean cars, baby.) Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere.

Special Appearances By:

KEN - The horny delivery boy with a hard-on for Aya.

** SCHU is behind the camera. YOHJI and AYA are all over each other, moaning loudly, amongst the sounds of bad porn music. **

SCHU: YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF, FIRST!

YOHJI: *grins* Not if you're good...

** A moment passes. **

** AYA lays sprawled out on the floor, tousled but fully clothed. YOHJI flashes a smug grin, and lights up a cigarette. SCHU sweatdrops. **

** SCHU glances over at YOHJI. Cue SCHU's evil grin (tm). SCHU pounces YOHJI, steals his cigarette. Blows smoke in his face, and gets down to business. **

** AYA whines. OMI comes up front from backstage, wearing a wifebeater shirt and pants hanging down to his knees. **

OMI: Shut up, bitch! You'll get your turn!

** Various moans amongst bad porn 'ba bows' German expletives aplenty. **

OMI: Get me a beer while you're waiting, bitch!

** KEN, the pizza delivery boy, walks in. **

KEN: Anyone order pizza?

OMI: And pay the pizza boy while you're at it! And no screwing him on the side!

AYA: // Didn't say anything about screwing him from behind... //

** AYA gives KEN a 'come 'ere you big boy' look. CAMERA runs out of tape. YOHJI and SCHU are still at it. **

** KEN stares at AYA, tongue dragging on the ground. AYA takes the pizza, and gropes KEN profusely. KEN wanders out, stunned. **

** AYA smugly holds up KEN's wallet. **

** OMI eats pizza, throws the empty box at YOHJI and SCHU, who are still glued together. **

** AYA examines the contents of the wallet. **

AYA: *folding over some bills* New dress... *folds over a few more* New shoes...

** Large string of German, Japanese, and English curse words between high-pitched moans. **

** AYA raises an eyebrow, and continues counting money. **

AYA: *runs fingers over bills* Yohji's head on a platter... *blinks and rethinks* *folds over a few more bills* YOHJI on a platter...

OMI: You pay for the platter, we'll market and sell.

** AYA's eyes light up, and he glances over at the YOHJI/SCHU pretzel. Smiles mischievously at OMI. **

** AYA takes the camera and bashes SCHU over the head with it. **

AYA: *softly purring* OH YOHJI... Let's have dinner tonight...