stupid

Q: How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?
A: Give him a piece of paper with "Please turn over" written on both sides.
An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running.
A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.
Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer,
"I think I'm planting them too deep."
Yo mamma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Yo mamma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Your mamma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
Yo mamma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book
Yo mamma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.
Yo mamma so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler"
Yo mamma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg
Yo mamma so stupid She went to Disney world and saw a sign that said "Disney world Left" so she went home.
Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm in a car crash? He's all right now
Bumping into an old girlfriend, Jake invited her for coffee and told her that he'd given up accounting to take up writing. " That's teriffic! " she said " I really admire a person who follows their dream. Tell me, have you sold anything?" " Sure have, " he replied. " My house, my car, all my stocks, and bonds....... "
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "Why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she could love you.
A woman inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Husband wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
Schwartznegger has a big one,
Michael Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn't have one,
The pope has one but doesn't use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
what is it?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
A last name......... Were you thinking of something else???
A cop saw a car driving erratically and pulled the driver over. "Sir, I need you to breath in this breathalizer for me," said the policeman.
The guy said, "I can't do that, office. I'm an asthmatic. If I do that, then I'll have a really big asthma attack."
The cop said, "Okay, then I need you to come down to the station with me and we'll do some blood work."
The guy said, "I can't do that either. I'm a hemophiliac. If I do that, then I will bleed to death."
The cop said, "Fine. Then I need a urine sample from you."
The guy replied, "I can't do that either. I'm diabetic. If I do that then my sugar will get REALLY LOW and I may die."
The cop then said, "Okay, okay! Then I need you to step out of the car and walk this white line."
The guy said, "Sorry, but I can't do that either."
The frustrated cop said, "Why not!?"
The guy said, "Because I'm drunk."
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