LE RIO DE TIEMPO

Review from November 2002 by Deirdre Sargent:
The River of Time ride. OK, my experience on this ride has not really changed at all since the last time and now I have added Dot as a
convert to the "Small World on Drugs" concept of a Disney ride obviously put together in the 70's and not refabed since.

This ride is lame but it's great if you are hot, tired, drunk or just plain cranky. You can relax, there has never been a line when I've been there and they did lower the volume. You float by a restaurant (WDW's version of the Blue Bayou & Pirates of the Caribbean) with a dark, romantic atmosphere with a smoking volcano in the background. Dot thought that having human sacrifice on the Aztec pyramid with a head rolling down it would add to the ride. I think it would scare the children. Hmmmmm..... anyway…..

The boat ride is ala Small World. The first part is the most promising. A large Aztec warrior, standing Godlike in his feathers and gold and tiny little loin cloth talking (I think) about the great scientists, mathmaticians and poodle breeders (hey, I don't know, the sound was bad) that the civilization had. However, it started to go downhill with the next section, "Aztec Interpretive Dance". We had no idea what the point was since you couldn't hear the narration. There was no human sacrifice. We were bummed. Then you enter the room of "It's A Small World" rejects. It's not nearly as scary as the actual Small World but it's getting there. THEN you get to see bad film clips from the 70's of girls water skiing, people getting drunk and a Mexican couple trying to sell you stuff. This moves on to a large room where a festival is going on. What are they celebrating? I don't know. It's a carousel of marionette people in the center of a modern town with fireworks overhead. Maybe they are celebrating that we left the peddlers in the next room.

(Editorial non-PC rant: I am assuming that these rides are to educate guests about the glorious history of the country represented and give a sense of why this is a neat place, in addition to entertain. To me it's really cheapening the history of Mexico and it's people to portray them as annoying peddlers that are always trying to sell you stuff. Sure I go to Mexico and have to beat off the herds of youngsters that are trying to sell me Chiclets or a paper mache donkey but this is suppose to be an INCENTIVE to go to Mexico. Mexico has a rich history and I DIDN'T SEE ANY OF IT!  I saw "interpretive dance" and that's it. How about the art of Mesoamerica or festivals specific to that region. NO! I get water skiing bikini babes and people "running" next to your boat tying to sell you junk! That is really insulting to the people of Mexico. End rant)

I give this ride a B if you are hot, tired, drunk or with very small children that won't realize that it is dumb or a C if you are nomal and sober.

Kid Grade: (G)  Small children will like this ride a great deal.  It is soothing and does not move fast.  There are no scares or dark places.  May bore teens but is a nice cool place to rest your feet.

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