tcoh5

Chapter 21

     “ Ho Joon, the paediatrician, was waiting for them. He watched his expression change as it fell on Melissa. He pushed up a sleeve and examined Melissa’s skin, asked if she had any pain. Melissa mentioned her stomach. The doctor’s fingers probed gently, withdrawing when Melissa winced. He looked at Kangta. “ I want him down to the hospital.” he said. “ I want some tests done.”

     “ What is it? Is it something serious?” Kangta asked, panicking. “ I wouldn’t presume to make any kind of diagnosis yet. Now, I’ve called an ambulance –” “ Ambulance?!” Kangta was shocked. “ To take her in. You can ride along with her.” Kangta looked at Melissa. She gave him a ghostly grin. “ It’s okay Kangta. Chill out.”

     The group found Kangta alone in a waiting area, cut off from the busy passages by a half wall full of houseplants. He was sitting with a magazine on his lap, his eyes closed. He had inform them on what had happened and they decided to come to the hospital. They knew Kangta could not take it alone.

     “ What the hell is going on, Kangta?” Woohyuk asked. “ I can’t really take it in, but they are running all sorts of tests. It’s something … something bad.” Out in the peach-coloured passage beyond the planter, a woman walked out, holding a kid of around eight or nine years old. The child’s eyes were hollow, it’s skull naked except for a fringe of pale hair. It was impossible to tell whether it was a guy or a girl. They all looked at the child, afraid of what might happen to their friend.

     “ What kind of bad?” Min asked. “ They’re talking about… They’ve done blood tests, and I overheard one of the technicians saying that it could be –” He seemed to frightened to announce that word. “ What Kangta?” Tony asked impatiently. “ Cancer. Leukaemia.” The word barely made it through his lips. “ My god. You sure they were talking about Melissa?” Min asked. She felt faint. “ I don’t know, I really don’t know.” Kangta said, his voice breaking.

     “ Leukemia?” Woohyuk felt blood drained away from his body. The word spelled a horror he felt too drained to contemplate. Leukaemia meant blood drivers and donor appeals. Leukemia meant pain and people dying.

     Kangta shivered. “ I should have seen it. I should have noticed all her signs. She was so tired all the time. But I didn’t thought it was serious. It was all my fault!” Kangta felt like killing himself. “ Stop it Kangta, maybe the doctor was just playing it safe, sending her down here.” Hee Jun said.

     Someone joined them. A doctor. Under his white coat he wore an oxford shirt and a paisley tie. “ Hi, I am Yi suk. Staff haematologist. Sorry to keep you waiting.”   “ What’s…” Kangta swallowed. “ What’s wrong with her?”   “ Well -” the doctor looked down at his notes – “I’d prefer not to discuss it until we can give you a firm diagnosis, but at this stage it does look as though she has a serious blood disorder.

     “Serious…Blood disorder?”

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Chapter 22

     “ Oh, God.” whispered Min.   “ Which blood disorder?” Jae Won asked. “ He’s been checked out by experts: a haematologist. An oncologist. A urologist. A neurologist. Nothing but the very best. We’ve done the blood work, and now we have to wait for the results of other tests. If there’s something there to find, we’ll find it.” But his eyes said that something already had been found.

      It was almost six o’clock when Dr Gearin appeared. This time he asked them to follow him to a small side room, which held a low couch and two chrome upright chairs. One of them was already occupied by an older doctor, who stood up, “ Nice to meet all of you.” he said. “ I’m Dr Caldbeck, chief of haematology. “ Well,” he said. “ There’s no point trying to soften the blow for you. As we suspected, Melissa is seriously ill.”

    “ It looks like ALL,” Dr Caldbeck said. “ Acute lymphoblastic leukemia.” Kangta felt as though he was suspended by a fraying rope under a deep ravine. There was no ground under his feet, only black chill space. “ Leukemia’s almost incurable, isn’t?” he heard Tony asked.

    “ By no means. ALL is extremely responsive to therapy, and we are constantly expanding our understanding of the disease, which means the chances of recovery keep on improving. These days we expect cures in eighty percent of the cases.”

     “ Are you absolutely certain of the diagnosis?” Woohyuk asked. “ As sure as we can be I’m afraid.” The blood work we’ve done seems fairly conclusive. After we’ve seen the results of the bone-marrow aspiration, we can begin the treatment. “ What are his chances?” Min asked. “ That’s the only thing we can take in right now.”

     “ Much depends on the patient’s response to the treatment.” Dr Caldbeck said, “ but ALL is very sensitive to chemotherapy, which uses drugs to kill the rogue cancer cells.”    “ But there is a downside to it isn’t there?” Kangta asked. “ The use of high-dose chemotherapy to kill the cells destroys the bone marrow,” Gearain said quietly. “ If the loss becomes critical, we have to find a healthy donor and infuse the bone marrow from him or her into the patient.

     Kangta’s head seemed to be full of drifting clouds through which she could dimly perceive Melissa floating away from him until she was no more than a speck in the distance. His jaw trembled. He stared dry-eyed at the two doctors, their words running around her head. Bone marrow transplant…chemotherapy…How did any of it connect with Melissa?

     They went through more details, but Kangta could not concentrate. Dr Gearin’s mouth opened and shut. Words he did not want to hear: nausea, hair loss, ulcers.

     “ Nausea…hair loss…ulcers?”

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Chapter 23

     At last they were allowed to see Melissa. She was in a glass-fronted room off the corridor leading from the nurses’ station. She was lying on a bed, wearing a loose green hospital gown. She looked exhausted, ancient, as though her body had been invaded by an old woman. An IV drip led from a plastic bag of clear liquid to the vein inside her elbow. Behind her was a tall table holding a tangle of tubing, a box and a monitor. Lines of electronic green marched across its screen.

      Seeing them, she smiled, trying, as always, to break the tension with a joke. “ Hey, I was beginning to think you guys went on a vacation.”   “ Melissa, are you okay?” Min asked, with tears welling up in her eyes. “ Of course I am fine.” Melissa said weakly.

     “ The hospital is cool, I thought I just saw a good-looking doctor walk pass just now.” Melissa said. “ If anything happens to me, promise me that you all would live on happily.” she continued. “ Melissa, you’ll be fine.” Woohyuk told her gently. “ Would I?” Melissa asked as she blinked back her tears.

     “ Of course you will!” Hee Jun forced a smile. It hurts him to see her friend in such a state. “ I just want to tell you guys how much I love you all…just in case I wouldn’t get to say it next time.” Melissa said.

     “ Oh Melissa…” Kangta took her hand and she winced. “ Careful Kangta. I’ve had so many needles stuck in me, I bet I look like a pincushion.” Melissa laughed weakly. “ You look fine.” Kangta said. “ Just fine.”

     He could feel her fear, and she knew he wanted to say more. He wanted to look into her eyes and say, “ Yes, you look fine. You’ve never looked so fine before. Do you know how much I love you? I’ll always be by your side, you don’t have to worry, I will carry all your problems. I’ll do anything to make sure you are fine, even if it means risking my life. You mean too much to me. You’re the only reason why I am happy. You are my everything. I will never ever let anything happen to you. Trust in me.” But somehow, the words couldn’t come out from his mouth. He was just too upset to say more.

      “ We’re proposing six sessions of in-hospital chemotherapy.” Dr Gearin told Kangta. “ Each treatment will mean several days here. In between, Melissa can go home, providing certain rules are observed, to give her blood some time to recover.”

     Kangta was angry. Bitterness crept along his veins, corroding his ability to function. Aggression bristled under his clothes. The sight of Melissa imprisoned between the metal sides of a hospital bed was bad enough.

     Far worse was watching the vitality drain out from her, knowing that all day, everyday, plastic tubes were delivering a massive dose of drugs. And pushing this active girl down linoleum corridors in a wheelchair set up a silent scream inside him. “ How long will that take?” he asked. “ We can never be entirely certain.” the doctor said.

     “ Many weeks probably. What we’re hoping is that the drugs will send the disease into quick remission. Once the cancerous cells have been eliminated and only healthy ones are being produced, we cross our fingers and hope the disease doesn’t recur.”

     “ Remission isn’t the same as cure?” Kangta asked. “ It’s a temporary cure. Recurrence is always a possibility.” Kangta looked down at his hands. The anger fizzed inside him.

    “ Why Melissa? Among all the people… Why her?”

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Chapter 24

    The chemo left Melissa too weak and disoriented to do much for herself. “ Kangta… I’m fine.” Melissa assured him. At last she was able to come home between the sessions of therapy. “ I have kind of expected it.” Melissa forced a smile. “ Do you know what my mother died from?” she asked. Kangta shook his head. “ Leukemia.” “ You’ll be fine, believe me.” Kangta said.

     Soon, Melissa was forced to dependency. She couldn’t do anything herself, and in everything, she got to depend on other people. Kangta could only guessed how much she hated it. Along with the drugs needed to fight the disease, she was taking medication to fight the disease, which often made her nauseous. Her skin broke out into rashes and boils. She developed ulcers in her mouth and throat, making swallowing extremely painful.

     Kangta knew that accompanying all these was the fear she must be feeling. She was aware that the discomfort she was enduring would not necessarily cure her. Her heavy eyes, her lethargy, her wounded skin wrenched him. He had to clap his hands over his ears to hide the sound of her retching. His heart felt as if it were slowly being flayed.

     Each trip back to the hospital was traumatic for them both. It was not just the smells and the prospect of pain. There was no way to avoid seeing the ghostly army of hairless children, whose treatments were further advanced, whose naked white skulls gave them the appearance of creature from outer space.

     What made the return visits even worse was Melissa’s dislike, bordering on phobia, of needles. The pain made her scream aloud. Sometimes her arm swelled up like a balloon. After one particularly harrowing session, she wept. “ I don’t want any more treatment.”

     “ Hold on Melissa. It’s not for much longer.” Kangta told her gently. Even worse than the sight of her pain was his inability to stop it. “ It should be me!” he wanted to scream at the nurses. Let me suffer, not her. Not her.

     “ I’d rather die now than to have to go through that again.” Tears rolled slowly down her white face. Her bloodless lips quivered. “ Well, I am not going to let you.” Kangta said firmly. When she had fallen into a doze, Kangta went to the hospital washroom and broke down.

     “ Kangta? Could you talk to me?” Melissa asked softly. She was back at home. “ I am afraid I’ll never get to talk to you again.” Tears began to roll down her pale and weary face. “ Of course you will. Nothing is ever going to happen to you.” Kangta said firmly, though he wasn’t sure anymore.

     “ Hello, guess who’s here?” Kangta asked. Soon, the rest of the people came in. “ Hello, you couldn’t believe what happened in school today.” Woohyuk said cheerfully. Kangta had not warned them about the hair loss and all of them did try their best not to look surprised.

     “ I saw that.” Tony faked a double take. “ Love the haircut.” he smiled. “ Thanks for pretending you didn’t notice. You could still tell I’m bald with the hat on.” Melissa said. “ Have to say, it’s kind of startling, first glance. For a moment there I thought I was watching Kojak.” Hee Jun joked.

     “ Hey, Hee Jun, aren’t there famous bald guys other than Kojak?” Melissa asked. “ Got to be. Just give me a moment and I’ll come up with someone. How about Shakespeare?” Hee Jun suggested. “ Doesn’t count, he has hair on the sides.” Melissa pointed out and they laughed. Kangta smiled. It was good to see her smile again after so many months.

Would she be better?

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Chapter 25

     “ Woohyuk, could you make the call?” Kangta asked. He couldn’t face anymore bad news. The group was at Kangta and Melissa’s house. Dr Gearin had left a message for Kangta asking him to call back as soon as he can. Woohyuk could feel the disorienting fog of panic creeping along his veins. What was wrong this time?

     In their apartment, Woohyuk dialed Dr Gearin while the rest watched. “ Dr Gearin? It’s Woohyuk. You asked us to call.”

      “ Yes. Absolutely. I wanted you to know the good news as soon as possible.” Woohyuk dared hope. “ Does that mean what I think?”   “ The leukemia’s in remission. The last test we did showed no traces of the disease. The cancer cells are gone. He’s cleared. For the present Melissa is cancer free.”

      “ Oh god.” Woohyuk couldn’t believe his ears. “ Of course we’ll be keeping a close eye on her. We can’t be completely sure the cancer will stay in remission. We can just keep praying it will. And there are many cases where it has.”

     In other words, it’s gone away, Woohyuk thought, but maybe only for the moment. We will never be able to sleep easily again. He did not say this aloud. Kangta had carried a heavy burden and he was not about to add to it.

     “ I can’t tell you how grateful we are for everything you’ve done.” “ It’s almost as wonderful for us when this happens to the patient.” Dr Gearin said. “ Thank you doctor. Thank you so much.” Woohyuk slammed down the phone and gave the rest a two-hundred-watt smile. “ She’s beaten it guys! The cancer’s gone!”

     “ She’s going to be okay.” Min collapsed onto the sofa and began to cry. “ Oh Woohyuk, I can’t believe it.” “ I can’t either!” Woohyuk smiled as the rest danced and whistled around the room, overjoyed by the news.   “ Cured..” Woohyuk smiled, refusing to remember Dr Gearin’s qualified approval of the term.

     Melissa picked up her life again, gradually going back to school for the last days of the semester and everything began to return to normal. “ Everything’s great.” Melissa smiled and Woohyuk nodded.

     As long as Melissa stayed well, they could forward to the future. Yet he knew that he would watch her, listen for her, worry about her every second of everyday. One cough, and he knew he would see her death. “ Could we go to the Marvey Lane? I missed those days.” Melissa asked Kangta. “ Of course we can!” Kangta said and the rest began to make plans for the trip again.

     Kangta looked at Melissa. He was so grateful that she was back. Back to normal. The whole incident taught him to treasure the things he had around him. He began to look at things in a different way. He made sure he took nothing he had for granted. Especially Melissa. He never hesitated to tell her how much he loved her.

     Tony was relieved, seeing everything back to normal was the best thing ever. Everyone was living in hell since the incident. Melissa undergoing all the pain, Min crying practically everyday, Kangta in a total wreck, working and taking care of Melissa. He skipped school everyday, so that he could take care of her.

    The rest worked their guts out, so that Melissa could have enough money to go for the treatment. No one actually smiled or really laughed in months. Life was like hell. And now it was all over.

    It is all over.

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