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Scene 4 Limbo ANNOUNCER 3: And now, Ladies and Gentlemen – the Keeper of the Keys, the Countess of the Clink, the Mistress of Murderer’s row – Matron Mama Morton! | |
"WHEN YOU’RE GOOD TO MAMA" MATRON: ASK ANY OF THE CHICKIES IN MY PEN THEY’LL TELL YOU I’M THE BIGGEST MOTHER HEN I LOVE THEM ALL AND ALL OF THEM LOVE ME BECAUSE THE SYSTEM WORKS THE SYSTEM CALLED – RECIPROCITY… GOT A LITTLE MOTTO ALWAYS SEES ME THROUGH WHEN YOU’RE GOOD TO MAMA MAMA’S GOOD TO YOU THERE’S A LOT OF FAVORS I’M PREPARED TO DO YOU DO ONE FOR MAMA SHE’LL DO ONE FOR YOU THEY SAY THAT LIFE IS TIT FOR TAT AND THAT’S THE WAY I LIVE SO, I DESERVE A LOT OF TAT FOR WHAT I’VE GOT TO GIVE DON’T YOU KNOW THAT THIS HAND WASHES THAT ONE TOO WHEN YOU’RE GOOD TO MAMA MAMA’S GOOD TO YOU | |
| (VELMA is stage right busy reading newspapers. MATRON crosses to her. Music under.) VELMA: Look at this, Mama. The tribune calls me the crime of the year. And the News says "Not in memory do we recall so fiendish and horrible a double homicide." MATRON: Ah, Baby, you can’t buy that kind of publicity. You took care of Mama and Mama took care of you. I talked to Billy Flynn. He set your trial date for March the 5th. March 7th you’ll be aquitted. And March 8th – do you know what Mama’s gonna do for you? – She’s gonna start you on a vaudeville tour. VELMA: I been on a lot of vaudeville tours. What kinda dough are we talking about? MATRON: Well, I been talkin’ to the boys at William Morris Agency and due to your recent sensational activities I can get you twenty-five hundred. VELMA: (flabbergasted) Twenty-Five Hundred!?! The most me and Veronica ever made was three fifty. MATRON: That was before Cicero, before Billy Flynn, and before Mama. VELMA: Mama, I always wanted to play Big Jim Colisimo’s. Could you get me that? MATRON: Big Jim’s! Well now, that’s another story. That might take another phone call. VELMA: Uh-huh. And how much would that phone call cost? MATRON: You know how I feel about you Vel. You’re like family. I’ll do it for fifty bucks. VELMA: Fifty bucks for a phone call? You must get a lot of wrong numbers, Mama. | |
| MATRON: IF YOU WANT MY GRAVY PEPPER MY RAGOUT SPICE IT UP FOR MAMA SHE’LL GET HOT FOR YOU WHEN THEY PASS THAT BASKET FOLKS CONTRIBUTE TO YOU PUT IN FOR MAMA SHE’LL PUT OUT FOR YOU THE FOLKS ATOP THE LADDER ARE THE ONES THE WORLD ADORES SO BOOST ME UP MY LADDER, KID AND I’LL BOOST YOU UP YOURS LET’S ALL STROKE TOGETHER LIKE THE PRINCETON CREW WHEN YOU’RE STROKIN’ MAMA MAMA’S STROKIN’ YOU SO WHAT’S THE ONE CONCLUSION I CAN BRING THIS NUMBER TO WHEN YOU’RE GOOD TO MAMA MAMA’S GOOD TO YOU! |