01/08/02 -I had a thought today ... that I really was starting out this year with a blank slate,
but now I see that’s not going to be totally possible. That’s fine. I think the out with the old thing doesn’t pertain to friends anyway. I have come to a new appreciation of my friends. I know that sounds weird, but I have never taken having friends for granted. It’s not just assumed that I have them. It seems more like I allow them to be in my life. I’m picky. I take this “take” on things as being due to the fact that I was brought up as an only child. That’s not to say that I like being alone, but I do seem to have acquired an expertice at amusing myself.
Anyway, I looked back at the old year and saw more than a few endings. That’s when I thought the meaning to it all was to start off this new year with a clean slate. Out with the old, in with the new. But then, wham bam, happy new year ... there it was, another beginning to a possible ending. So, it appears I don’t have much of a “take” on things afterall. And somewhere in all this quagmire of my mind is balance, yea, I’m thinking that’s the key. If it were all endings, I might find myself thinking of ending it all. Yet, if it were all beginnings, well the thought of that makes me rather dizzy. So, in the middle there somewhere is the balance.
I’m going to keep my slate clean for balance. There’s a way, I’m sure, to embrace opportunities without drawing conclusions. There’s unfished business, unfinished friendships. And then there’s living in the moment, those new beginnings. Oh how glorious is that? And then when all is said and done ... stop that, the future’s not ours to see, que sera ... Whatever! |
