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| Dream A Little Dream ... |
02/06/02 - I seem to have regained consciousness. I was afraid January might have done me in, but here I am, thawing out quite nicely. Last month was so confusing. It actually became uncomfortable for me. Friendships were exhausting, my finances were being depleted. And, I was freezing. I’m thinking true friendships hold up under strain. We shall see. I had to put up some barriers. The most successful friendships I have are the ones that allow me plenty of space. Space without distance. Possible, yea I think so. It may not seem likely, but some free spirits actually need a touch of attachment. Grant me that and you’ve got a friend for life. Anyway, I narrowed my involvements and part of the confusion cleared. I’m flat broke, thanks to January. I had waited many years to get some much needed dental work done. I’d planned for it. I made it a January goal knowing my insurance would be benefit full at the first of the year. However, I forgot to plan on overspending for Christmas, The Jock’s birthday on Christmas Eve, The Kid’s birthday a month later, $200+ for The Jock’s junior college tuition and another $200+ for the books to go with it. Yikes! A humbling experience being broke. It’s not like I haven’t been there before. I’ve always been there. But, for the past couple of years I’ve at least experienced break even. Wow, that’s pretty darn near rich to me. So, we scrimped by and I’m on the rebuild now. It feels good actually. And, I didn’t bounce any checks, that really feels good. So, a little more confusion evaporating. And as far as the weather ... nothing I can do but bundle up and wait. I’m grateful for the ground hog. Six more weeks of winter at least puts a deadline to the misery. I can survive. Plus, soon as February showed up, so did the sun. There’s been rays of hope during the day. I’m still digging my car out of an inch of frost each morning as I leave work. But even then, I’m doing it in style. Drummer Boy gave me one of those handy dandy scrapper tools. First one I’ve ever owned. And though I wouldn’t say I’m experiencing total clarity ... The haze is lifting. |