02/15/02 - Scenario: The Kid comes in and asks his brother, The Jock, to give him a ride to McDonald’s for which he will pay him $2. The Kid then asks me for some change, $2 to be exact. Yea, you got the picture. But, can you picture this? I don’t have $2 only a five dollar bill. The resulting transaction: I ask The Jock if he has $3. He says yes. That means I will pay The Jock directly and The Kid owes me $2. But, The Jock only has $2 after all. So now I am owed $2 from the Kid and $1 from The Jock. What they don’t understand is that I WILL NOT FORGET THIS. They will pay ... they will pay. Or, maybe I just funded the trip to McDonald’s including a $1 tip. Moms WERE born yesterday.
Also recorded for posterity: Ended up giving The Child 50 cents, well why shouldn’t I, I had already funded the trip to McDonald’s. Why 50 cents, I asked? For 25 cent sodas in the machine at the grocery store. One for me, one for my friend, he said. I am now considered generous as I have gone out of my family circle and funded a stranger. The Scientist, who only pops in for minutes these days, got into the act as well. He’s in the middle of buying a car for which his loan will receive an interest rate of only 3.9 if he can prove he’s a graduate of UC Berkeley. Well, never mind that he never took the time to go back and get
the actual diploma. But now he needs proof and for some reason I’m the only one who can solve his problem as I felt it necessary to keep a copy of the commencement program and the “phony” certificate they wrapped up with a black ribbon to look like they were handing out diplomas at the ceremony. But the problem becomes mine as I haven’t a clue as to which pile of “mementos” (better known as clutter) this phony certificate is buried in. My moon must be traveling in the realm of Jupiter (the god of luck) as I found both specimens in the first pile I randomly picked from. If I could have remembered several other items I had been looking for lately it would have been sweet as I appeared to be on a roll. I wondered out loud why I couldn’t remember and The Jock said it was because I am old (51). Well, if I’m old now, I pondered out loud again, what will I be at 81? Dead, chimed The Child.
I’m speechless now. |
